Chapter 10
The vibrant yellow paint Emma was mixing was a stark contrast with her mood. What frustrated her more than anything was that she couldn’t feel angry. There was no one to be mad at. Clearly something was troubling Cole, and he had a right to keep it to himself.
Since he left Thursday night, she’d felt the old resentments from her past bubbling back up to the surface. She hated the insecurity she felt with Cole. It didn’t come from him, but from inside her, making it seem impossible to overcome.
Emma begged off her Friday night out with Layla by pretending she was sick. Layla came over and tried to force her out, but Emma stayed curled in bed, her miserable mood finally convincing her sister she had the flu. And now she was spending Saturday alone, too, but the solitude was nice. It allowed her to think and do and feel whatever she wanted, with no explanations owed.
When her phone sang Layla’s tune, she pressed the speaker button and continued mixing her sunny shade of paint.
“Are you feeling better?” Layla asked breathlessly.
“Yes, thanks. Are you busy?”
“Just finished … running.”
“You’re crazy,” Emma said, looking for the wine glass she’d left on the counter. “I wouldn’t run unless someone was chasing me.”
“It helps me decompress. Hey, guess what?”
“I don’t feel like playing this game, can you just tell me?”
“My firm requires us to do pro bono charity hours every year, and I’ve been blowing mine off. So I had to sign up for some on the spreadsheet where all the organizations that need pro bono work are listed. It had the names of everyone who already does pro bono, and I saw that Cole represents some charity. I signed up to help him! This is it, Em! I’ll get to see him a lot now. We are so getting together.”
Emma squeezed brown paint into her mixture, sighing as the yellow darkened.
“That’s great,” she said.
“Oh, and speaking of pro bono, everything’s taken care of with Jana,” Layla said.
“What do you mean?” Emma asked.
“The case was dismissed.”
“As in – it’s over? She’s not going to jail?” Emma asked hopefully.
“Nope, it’s over,” Layla said.
“How did you do that?” Emma asked, smiling widely.
“Well, I may or may not be having dinner with Garrison Knight from the DA’s office next weekend. And Jana did have to go apologize to the owner of the place she stole from,” Layla said.
“She must have been so happy. Maddie, too,” Emma said.
“Jana was very happy. She’s a good person who’s just had some tough breaks, you know?”
“Yeah, I’ve met quite a few people like that at the shelter,” Emma said. “Thanks again for your help. Does the guy from the DA’s office have any potential?”
“Um, no. He’s old and he wears cheap suits,” Layla said. “Right now I’m working on Cole. Don’t you think he’s even hotter than he was in high school?”
“He is.”
“Did I ever tell you he was the first boy I kissed? There’s just always been something about him, Em. I know it sounds silly, but no one else has ever quite measured up. I’m just feeling – or maybe hoping, I don’t know – like we’re both in a stage of our lives where … you know, we could have a real relationship. Wouldn’t we look good together?” Layla was giddy.
“I guess so. Hey, I just spilled paint on the floor – I have to go.” Emma tossed the paint aside and curled up on her couch. She’d never been so down that even painting didn’t appeal to her.
***
The second he walked out of his office and saw Jen chatting with another paralegal, Cole knew he was in trouble. She was standing in the common area of desks for secretaries and paralegals, leaning against a filing cabinet. Her eyes roamed him hungrily, and he felt the ache in his groin that was becoming too familiar these days.
“Hey,” she said, an invitation in her tone.
“Hey,” he said shortly. “What are you doing over here?”
“Gibson’s taking vacation until his retirement, so I got reassigned to this office,” she said smoothly.
Cole stared at her in disbelief. Of all the fucking luck. He was holding out for Emma, but he practically had a permanent erection. Every kiss with her was erotic and torturous at the same time. And now Jen was bending over to flip through a filing cabinet right in front of him, and he was sure she didn’t need any files.
“Is there anything I can help you with?” she asked, turning her face toward him with a seductive smile. He exhaled deeply, running a hand through his hair.
“No, I’m good. I think Ben and Kayla probably need help more than me right now. I need to hole up in my office alone and work on my research.”
“Well, if you change your mind … you know where to find me,” she said, licking her lips.
Daphne, the no-nonsense, 59-year-old secretary he shared with another attorney, gave Jen a death stare. Her addition to their area of the firm would obviously create tension. Cole just had to make sure he was never alone with Jen. An eager, willing woman who wanted him for nothing but sex was a recipe for disaster right now.
***
Emma was absorbed in a book on the train ride home from work when the ring of her phone brought her back to reality. She smiled when she saw it was her Mom.
“Hi,” she said in greeting.
“Hi, Em, it’s Mom.” Her mother still didn’t understand that caller ID worked every time.
“How are you, Mom?”
“Good. I just wanted to be sure you’re coming for Thanksgiving.”
“Of course I am. Where else would I go?”
“I just wanted to be sure. Randy Mickle from Dad’s office and the Marlowes are coming over, too.”
“Oh?” Emma tried to sound nonchalant, but was a little unnerved at the idea of seeing Cole. “Is Shay coming, too?”
“No,” her mother said, sounding distracted. “Shay lives in New York. She and her husband are both doctors with demanding schedules. They can’t really travel, so they spend holidays with his family there in New York.”
“I didn’t know Shay was married.” Emma couldn’t keep the puzzled tone from her voice.
“She got married several years ago. At least, I think she did. I asked Jenny if I could see wedding pictures and she said they never gave her any, which was odd. I think there’s something strange going on with Shay, but I don’t know what. We haven’t seen her in years and Jenny never talks about her like she does Cole. Dad and I just always avoid the subject when we’re with Tom and Jenny. Don’t bring her up around them, okay?”
“No, I won’t,” Emma said.
“Can you come over early on Thanksgiving, like maybe eight or so? I could use your help.”
“Sure. Mom, is everything okay? You don’t sound like yourself.”
“Oh, I’m just stressed about hosting, honey. You know how I am. I just want everything to be perfect. I’ll see you Thursday. I love you, Em.”
“Love you, too, Mom.”
***
The morning at work was dragging, and Emma shook her head with frustration when she checked the clock and saw that it was only two minutes later than the last time she’d checked it.
Her phone buzzed with a message, and her heart pounded when she saw Cole’s name on the screen.
I’m outside your office. Can we have lunch?
She grabbed her bag from under her desk and rushed onto the elevator. Her heart was beating even faster now at the thought of seeing him. The tension between them had been on her mind constantly.
When she pushed through the glass doors, she saw him leaned up against the stone wall of her office building, scrolling through messages on his phone. When he looked up and saw her, he reached for her quickly, pulling her into his chest with a tight embrace.
“I’m sorry,” he said in her ear. “I miss you.”
“Me too.”
“I should’ve called. I’ve been working nonstop, but that’s no excuse.”
“You’re here now.” Emma clung tightly to him.
“Can we forget about the other night? Just go back to hanging out?” Cole pulled back to look at her, and Emma only paused a second before answering.
“Sure.”
So he wanted to forget about being with her. She covered her flicker of sadness with a smile.
“I hear I get to spend Thanksgiving with you,” he said as they walked.
“Yeah. Mom makes a huge meal, so show up hungry. Is Shay coming home for Thanksgiving?”
“Uh, no, I don’t think so.”
“You said she’s downstate, right?” Emma asked lightly.
“Yeah, she works a lot and can’t get away.”
“Do you ever see her?”
“It’s been a long time,” Cole said dismissively. “What sounds good for lunch?”
“The noodle place around the corner?”
“Noodles it is.”
***
The hip-hop music coming from Layla’s car was deafening, and Emma was grateful when her sister cranked it down as she climbed into the passenger seat.
“Happy turkey day,” Layla said, pulling out into traffic.
“You, too. Your hair looks good, did you get highlights?”
“Yeah. Do you know why Mom’s making us come over so early?”
“Just to help her cook, I think,” Emma said.
“I’m hoping to leave Mom and Dad’s with Cole. If I do, will you take my car? You can bring it back to me tomorrow.”
“What, are you just going to ask him if he wants to hook up after the pumpkin pie?” Emma asked with an edge.
“No, I’ll be subtle.”
“Right. Subtle is your middle name.” Emma rolled her eyes.
“Just watch and learn, baby sister. Sometimes you have to take what you want.”
Emma directed her glare out the window, resentment rising inside her. She knew she’d end up on dish duty again if Layla had anything to say about it.
Layla chattered the rest of the way, but Emma found that an occasional “hmm” or “mm-hm” was enough to make her sister think she was listening.
When they walked in the door, the smells of baking bread and roasting turkey washed over Emma, making her glad she’d decided to move back to the States. There was nothing like Thanksgiving with family.
“Hey, want me to dry?” Layla asked as they walked into the kitchen and saw their mother washing dishes silently. She said nothing, and Layla gave Emma a puzzled glance.
“Mom?” Emma asked. Her heart skipped a beat when her mother turned around, her eyes red and swollen. She wiped a hand across her face quickly.
“Girls, you’re here!” she said, drying her hands. “There’s a lot to do. I want you to start with—”
“Mom, what’s going on? Why are you upset?” Layla asked.
“Oh, I’m fine. You know how stressed I get about hosting.”
“No, Mom. Something’s wrong,” Layla pressed.
“Really, it’s nothing. Let’s get moving.”
“Mom, what’s wrong?” Emma asked. “Tell us.”
Their mother opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it quickly, tears welling in her eyes again. It was so out of character for her that Emma thought she might burst into tears just from seeing her so upset.
“Mom,” Layla said sharply. “You’re worrying us. Are you and Dad having problems? Are you getting divorced?”
“No!” She shook her head fiercely, approaching both girls. “No, nothing like that. I just … I don’t want to worry you over nothing.”
“We’re already worried, Mom,” Emma said.
“Okay.” She sighed heavily. “Last week I had a routine mammogram, and they found a lump in my breast. I had to have it biopsied and I’m waiting for the results. I’m getting them tomorrow.”
Both girls stared, aghast.
“Oh, Mom,” Layla said, reaching for her with a tight hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so glad you told us. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Emma wiped away the tears that had rolled down her cheeks, reaching over to brush another one from her mother’s face.
“Thank you, girls. It’s nothing to worry about yet. We don’t know the results. It’s just, after losing my mother to breast cancer …”
“Mom, you go upstairs and lay down and let us handle dinner,” Layla said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Emma’s a whiz in the kitchen and I can help her.”
“No, no, no. Keeping busy helps me. I love hosting dinners, you know that. But I don’t want the Marlowes to know, okay? I just want to have a nice Thanksgiving.”
“Of course, Mom,” Emma said.
“I’m coming to the doctor with you tomorrow,” Layla said firmly.
“Honey, Daddy’s taking me. He’s been with me every step of the way,” their mother said, her voice wavering.
“Well, I’m coming too,” Layla insisted.
“Me, too,” Emma said.
“When you girls get ready to settle down, I want you to remember how important it is that you choose a man who will be your partner in every way,” their mother said earnestly. “Don’t settle for attraction or money, because you’ll be sorry if you do. Choose someone who’s your best friend.”
“We will, Mom, but stop dispensing advice like something’s going to happen to you. It’s not,” Layla said. “Now let’s cook our asses off and be glad I brought a case of really good wine.”
Emma chopped celery and apples quietly, lost in thoughts about her Mom. She’d never considered anything happening to her parents. They’d always been there for her, and the thought of them not being there was only abstract.
When Tom and Jenny Marlowe came in, Cole was with them, and Emma blinked hard to hold back the tears that threatened to fall as she looked at him. In his worn jeans and flannel shirt, he was the epitome of the comfort she needed at the moment. Pretending he meant nothing to her would be excruciating today.
She turned back to her work, knowing that staying busy would help. Layla was working on a large glass of wine and had taken charge of socializing with everyone, including Randy, their father’s boring friend from work.
“Daddy, what’s new in the banking business?” Layla asked as she arranged a relish tray.
“Not much, but I like it that way,” he said, smiling. Emma felt a catch in her throat when Layla launched herself into their father suddenly.
“I love you, Daddy,” she said.
“I love you, too,” he said, raising his brows in surprise.
When her eyes met Cole’s across the room, Emma had to look away quickly. The warmth she saw made her want to burst into tears. It wasn’t long until her phone vibrated on the kitchen counter with a new message. She grabbed it quickly when she saw it was from Cole.
What’s wrong?
She took a deep breath as she typed out a response.
I’m okay. It’s good to see you.
She was melting butter for a casserole when her phone buzzed again.
What’s wrong, Em? You’re upset. I don’t like it.
It was weird having a secret conversation with someone who was on the other side of the room. She moved the butter aside to cool and walked into the living room to write back.
Meet me in the garage in five minutes.
Emma shivered as she waited in the garage, eyeing her Dad’s organized pegboard of tools. She hoped that of all days, she and Cole wouldn’t get busted together today, but the chance was worth taking because she needed him.
He slipped into the side door quietly, not even making it all the way to Emma before she started sobbing uncontrollably.
“Em, what is it, baby?” he asked, pulling her close. She pressed her face into his solid chest, not wanting to find any words yet. The rhythmic motion of Cole’s hand stroking her hair was soothing, and she sank against him gratefully.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she finally said.
“What’s wrong?”
“My Mom,” she said, her voice strained with emotion. “She had to get a biopsy on a lump in her breast and she gets the results tomorrow. I just found out. She was upset when we got here – crying – and I’ve never seen her like that.”
“I’m sorry, Em. What can I do?”
“Just … this. This is good,” she said, still leaning into him. “I wish I could be strong right now, but I just froze when she told us.”
“It’s okay to be upset,” Cole said, rubbing circles on her back. “That doesn’t mean you aren’t strong.”
Emma squared her shoulders and wiped her cheeks.
“We have to get back inside,” she said. “Mom doesn’t want anyone to know, so don’t say anything, okay?”
“Sure.”
They left the garage, and Emma’s heart pounded when she saw her father and Layla talking on the deck. When they turned toward her and Cole, she stared, not moving.
“What are you two up to?” her father asked curiously.
Oh, shit. This is it.
“I came out to take a call and Emma said she was looking for a tool to fix something in her apartment,” Cole said. “I was trying to help her find it.”
“What needs fixing, Em? I can come over,” her father said.
“Sounds like she just needs a handle tightened. I’ve got tools in my car and I told her I’ll drive her home later and fix it,” Cole said.
“That’s nice of you, thanks.” Emma could see the strain on her father’s face as he spoke.
The tension felt thick all day, but Emma tried to do her part to keep things light. Layla was a pro, steering the conversation in a positive direction, assisting their mother with the cooking and even volunteering to wash the dishes.
Emma retreated inside herself, thinking about what would happen if her mother got bad news tomorrow. She closed her eyes and considered how grateful she was she’d made the decision to return home from Paris.
Cole kept his attention on her all afternoon, offering quick, reassuring smiles that made her wish she could crawl into his lap for the rest of the day.
When evening set in, Layla pulled Emma upstairs to her former bedroom, and Emma sank against her sister with a fierce hug.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Layla said. “I’m staying here tonight so I can go with them to the doctor in the morning.”
“I should stay, too,” Emma said.
“No, Cole’s expecting to fix something for you, it would look weird if you told him you want to spend the night here. Just go home, let him fix whatever’s broken, take a hot bath and call me later. We’ll pick you up in the morning on the way to the doctor.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. Em, if we don’t get good news tomorrow, we’ll both need to step up and help a lot. Dad will need our support, too.”
“I know.”
Emma hugged her mother extra close as she left, wondering if Cole’s parents could tell how anxious they all were. When she got in Cole’s car, he rubbed her leg reassuringly, and she gave him a grateful smile.
The ride home was mostly silent, and as soon as they got to her apartment, Cole grabbed a duffel bag and his laptop case from his backseat and followed her inside. He seemed to sense her need for space, and he settled into a side chair with his computer to read.
Emma poured herself some wine and brought him a glass, too.
“Can I stay tonight?” he asked as she handed it to him.
“You don’t have to, Cole. I’m okay.”
“I want to. Is it okay?”
“Of course it’s okay,” she said, smiling. “But I don’t think I’ll be very good company.”
“Just do your thing. I’ve got briefs to catch up on.”
“I think I’ll take a bath.”
Emma sank into the tub of hot bubbles, letting her hair flow under the water, submerging everything but her face. The water cleansed away her stress, and she felt more like herself when she emerged in a bathrobe to fill her wine glass.
“There’s a good winery about an hour out of the city we should go to,” Cole said. “I think we need to stock up. You’re making me start to like this stuff.”
“That sounds like fun.”
It felt like they were an ordinary couple, spending an evening at home. Emma had to remind herself they weren’t. Not like this, anyway. Cole was sitting up in her bed in his jeans and a white t-shirt, still working, when she stretched out there to call Layla.
“How are you?” Emma asked.
“Okay. It’s a little better now that everyone’s gone and we can just talk freely about it. Mom’s okay.”
“Good. I took that bath you recommended. You should take one, too.”
“Did Cole get your thing fixed?” Layla asked.
“He did. It was just a door handle,” Emma said, smiling when Cole’s bare foot brushed against hers.
“I’m breaking something in my apartment so I can get him over there to fix it,” Layla said. “Maybe my bed.”
“Very subtle,” Emma quipped, pushing aside the image of Cole in Layla’s bedroom.
“It’s times like this I wish I had someone,” Layla said quietly. “You know, something real. Not just sex.”
“I know. And you will.” A wave of guilt shot through Emma as she looked over at Cole.
“Don’t you wish you had someone, too? Someone other than a married guy?”
“I do wish that, Layla. But remember, we’ve got each other.”
“I know. We’ll pick you up at nine, okay?”
“See you then,” Emma said. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Though it was early, sleep started to overtake Emma, and as worries about her Mom floated through her mind, she was reassured by the warmth of Cole next to her.