OLIVER

 

I stood there and watched Knight leave the clearing.

I remembered everything he said. I remembered the feeling of his embrace. I remembered the feeling of his kiss on my forehead. I remembered the way he looked into my eyes when he said goodbye.

But I was numb to all of it. It felt like I was in a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. No matter what I did, there was nothing I could do to deal with the emptiness inside of me.

I lost track of time. I laid on the grass and stared up at the sky. Most of the other foxes ignored me. The words of those who said something went over my head. The numbness I felt didn’t go away.

I watched the night grow dark but nothing else had changed. I remained on the grass, my eyes unblinking as I observed the stars.

The other foxes in the skulk enjoyed the company of one another around the bonfires that burned. They talked and laughed and sang to their heart’s content. You wouldn’t have known that there was a threat of fierce wolves ready to attack our camp only a few hours ago.

“Look at this lazy Omega.”

Silas’s annoying voice went in one of my ears and out the other.

“Sitting around all day and staring at the clouds while the rest of us work. What a worthless Omega.”

“If you ask me, we would be better off if the fierce wolves had taken him. Just another mouth to feed.”

Eve had to join in like she always did when her brother teased me.

“I wonder why Anita bothered keeping you around,” Silas continued. “You offer nothing to our skulk. You are indeed the most worthless Omega here.”

“Enough!”

Anita’s voice boomed to interrupt him. I didn’t care one way or the other what they were discussing. I barely noticed they were even there.

“He sat around all day,” Eve said. “We’re not speaking ill of him. We’re only speaking the truth.”

“Save your energy,” Anita said. “Go to my tent and wait for me.”

“Of course, Alpha.”

Silas and Eve excused themselves.

“The stars are shining bright tonight.”

My eyes remained locked on the sky, so I didn’t realize that Anita was still there.

I listened to Anita shuffling her feet and taking a seat down next to me as I laid on the grass. She sighed a deep breath as she continued.

“The elders talk to us about the stars,” she said. “It’s one of the first things our ancestors discovered. Look at the stars and you can use it as a map. They always tell you which direction you’re going. No matter where you are in the woods, you’ll never get lost.”

Anita’s words were lost on me.

“Sometimes we think we know where we’re going but you look up and you realize the stars are pointing you in a different direction. So you have to change paths. It’s happened to me before. It’s happened to all of us. And right now, it’s happening to you.”

I slowly sat up. I looked into Anita’s eyes and saw something strange. She was always the most dominant Alpha I’d ever met. A proud fox who looked like she was always in control. But when I looked into her brown eyes, I almost thought she was sad.

“We can’t control fate,” Anita said. “We can only accept it.”

“And is this my fate?” I said. “To live with this skulk forever, raising a child alone?”

“And what’s wrong with that? Your ancestors lived that way since the beginning. That’s the only reason our skulk has survived for so many centuries.”

“I suppose… But my child—”

“Your child is a part of this skulk. You will not be raising him alone. I am the lead Alpha. I watch over all of the Omegas, including you. Just because I did not fill you with my seed doesn’t mean I won’t care for the child.”

I shook my head at her. There was no way she could possibly understand. Anita was the lead Alpha ever since I was a boy. I’d never known anybody else who’d been in charge.

“Silas. Eve. The other Omegas. Why do you spend so much time with them?”

“They know how to pleasure me,” Anita said. “Is it wrong for me to want my desires satiated?”

“As lead Alpha, that is your right. You’re free to sleep with all of the Omegas in that camp if that is your wish.”

“Are you questioning why you and I never laid together?”

“I did before. There was a time when I was jealous of the others and how they were able to present themselves to you.”

I looked Anita right in the eye.

“They only satisfy your desires,” I said. “They fulfill your physical needs.”

“That’s right.”

“Then you don’t understand what it’s like to be fated. You don’t know what it’s like to find the one you’re tied to. You don’t know what it’s like to be in love.”

Anita smirked and nodded softly.

“Perhaps fate hasn’t shown me who I was truly destined to mate with,” she said. “Or perhaps I am waiting for one of the others to go into heat so I can fill them with my seed and bring another fox into the skulk. I don’t question it. When it happens, it happens.”

“That’s the problem. You don’t question it. You don’t question anything. You accept things as they are, no matter how bad they get.”

“I’ve been in this camp for a long time. I would say the skulk is very happy with the way things are being run.”

“Not me.”

The smile left her face. She clenched her jaw, her eyes locked on me.

“What would you have me do?” she asked. “Would you force me to let you and the jaguar stay? It would be a death sentence for everybody here.”

“Death is more desirable than the life that faces me.”

“Don’t say such a thing. Your child is not yet born. Would you doom him or her to a fate before they even had the chance to see the light of the sun?”

“If the life my child faces is living in this skulk and being confined to this clearing, then they are already doomed.”

Anita shook her head at me.

“You are hurt, Omega. I understand—”

“No, you don’t. You don’t understand. That’s the problem. You look at the skulk but don’t care about the foxes that make it up. Even just one fox is important. One fox is enough to risk the rest of the skulk.”

“You say that now but do you truly believe it? What if it were Silas or Eve who the fierce wolves threatened? Would you be so quick to want them to stay in camp?”

“I would not banish them or their loved ones to a certain death.”

“Watch your tone, Omega. I am still your Alpha.”

I put my head down and nodded. Despite the serious look she’d given me, Anita was no longer as intimidating as she was before. I didn’t care what she could possibly say to me.

“I am empty,” I said. “It feels like there is death inside of me. There is nothing you can do to me that I fear.”

“I will not kill you, Omega.”

“You already have. My heart is out there in the woods and I am here, bleeding to death.”

“What choice do I have? Wouldn’t you sacrifice one outsider for the good of the skulk?”

“No,” I said. “I would not banish an outsider. I would not banish Silas. I would not banish Eve. I would not banish anybody.”

I looked up at the sky. The stars were shining so bright in the sky.

“I’ve known the stars all my life,” I said. “I’ve used them to guide me so many times as I was taught. When I was lost out there in the woods, I knew my way. It’s just like you said. The stars are always there. Guiding us. No matter where we are or where we go, there is only one fate they can lead us to.”

I pushed myself up to my feet. Anita jumped to her feet.

“What are you doing?” she said.

“I know that you didn’t want to do it. But you say that there is no other way.”

“There isn’t another way, Omega.”

“There is.”

“And what’s that? What would you have me do?”

“We have a choice. We can take a stand. We can take a stand a fight.”

“Death is not a choice.”

“You’re right. Just like the stars are always up there guiding us, if death awaits us, there is no escaping it.”

“Oliver—”

“I’ve suffered all my life in this skulk. I’ve always been the lowest Omega in the camp. You cannot convince me that living a meek existence among you is better off than what awaits me out there.”

I started to walk away but Anita grabbed me by the arm.

“If you go, then you will die,” she said. “The jaguar is sacrificing himself so you don’t have to. I vowed to watch over your child. It is pointless.”

It was the first time in my life that Anita showed any concern for me. It took more than 20 years for her to show it. That’s how I knew I was making the right choice.

“I would rather spend what little of my life I have left by Knight’s side than spend the rest of it knowing I didn’t do anything to try and save him. I will not condemn my child to the life I’ve already suffered through.”

I tugged my arm away from her and shook my head.

“I am just an Omega,” I said. “I should know my place…”

I looked up at the stars.

“…But I know what fate has planned for me. I see my fate not in the stars but in his eyes. That is something even you don’t understand, Alpha.”

“Oliver.”

I walked away from her and made my way through the forest.

“Oliver!”

She kept calling out for me but it didn’t matter. Nothing would get me to change my mind.

I’d already waited too long. It had been hours since Knight had left. I could only hope that I could catch up to him before I was too late.