Eleven
Party Time
And so fatty fell. In front of the God of lust, too, which made it ten times better. I was never one to do anything half-assed. I couldn’t have just fallen. Oh no, not me. I had to fall and rip my calf open and I had to do it in front of Devin. Not Shannon, not alone so that I had to drag my fat ass across the floor of Franklin’s army style to the phone. Oh no…Devin had to be there. . After days of waiting for him to call me he popped up at the store only to watch me make a complete fool out of myself. I couldn’t just stop at busting my ass right in front of him. I then proceeded to sit the rest of the day in the emergency room. He stayed with me the entire time, probably because he felt like he had to or it was the right thing to do.
Then, like the stupid bitch that I am, I accepted the pain medicine that the doctor gave me because… DUH…I was hurting so damn bad. That was another one of my big, bright ideas! There’s no telling what I said or did while I was drugged up.
Then I slapped a bit fat cherry on top when I pretty much begged to him to stay the night with me. Begged…like a dog…big puppy dog eyes and all. I was still under a small influence of pain medication by that point, but that’s no excuse.
You’d think I’d stop there. Oh no, not Lilly! I then proceeded to rape him the next morning only to realize that he was still asleep when he was kissing me and responding.
This is good because it further lets me know that I’m a complete and total ass-face! This is also good because if he comes back around again after all the times that I’ve practically thrown myself at him, it means it must truly be meant to be.
What the hell is wrong with me? My hormones are all jacked up. Maybe I should stay away from him? He did say one thing before he left that kind of threw me for a loop. He said that he was having a hard time keeping his hands off of me. Me! That’s just crazy! No one’s ever said anything like that to me.
Of course he was running for the door when he said it. Running for his life…I’m sure he was afraid to be eaten alive.
After he left, I spent the entire next day in my bed. My leg hurt so bad that I could barely stand it. Mrs. Franklin sent over the biggest bouquet of flowers I’ve ever seen in my life and then called a million times to check on me. Shannon said something about how afraid she was about me suing her. If only they knew.
If Shannon ever took the time to balance her check book, she’d see that I never cashed any of her checks for the bills. I’d say she had quite the checking account going on for herself. I wasn’t looking forward to the moment when she finally realized that she was living with me completely free. She’s no squatter and I can already imagine the wrath the she was going to let loose on me for that one. Just the fact that I never mentioned that I was filthy rich was going to be enough to piss her off.
I had to explain over and over again what happened the day before while Shannon and I played twenty questions about Devin. After lunch, Devin called me to check on me, which made my day.
“Don’t leave that bed, young lady!” he joked.
I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. I finally crawled out of bed and got a shower at almost dinner time and that helped me feel better. I hobbled out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, trying with all my might to keep the towel wrapped around me. I was still in so much pain and Devin was right, this thing was definitely going to leave one hell of a scar.
Later that night, he called again and asked if I’d be interested in dinner this weekend. As if I’d say no.
“There’s this really nice restaurant I wanna take you to. It’s the least I can do since I’ve been pawing at you like a wild beast,” he joked.
If only he knew how badly I wanted him to unleash his beast on me. He thought I was offended by his touches and kisses, meanwhile I’ve had to change my panties three times all day just thinking about it. If anything, he was raising my metabolism because every time he came near me or any time I even thought of him, my heart rate increased. High Metabolism equals weight loss. Thank you, Devin Michaels!
I took the rest of the week and the weekend off from work. I spent most of my days hanging out around the house. Soon, my stitches weren’t hurting as bad as before and I could manage to walk without leaning against something. My mom stopped by and freaked out over my stitches and how bad it would scar. Of course, she went on and on about how I needed to quit my job and blah blah blah. I don’t remember the rest. I zoned her out as usual.
At night I sat in my bed and talked on the phone with Devin, who was being so sweet I could hardly stand it. We stayed on the phone until I couldn’t keep my eyes open every night.
Soon, it was Friday and I was getting dressed to go out to dinner. I put on a dark purple v-neck top and a black skirt that Shannon told me I had to wear. I’m not usually a skirt person, but anything rubbing again my leg caused it to burn and itch.
I did however manage to wear a pair of tall boots that didn’t stick my leg. They were just tall enough to cover the bandage. Not long later, I had my makeup and hair done and I was nibbling on the inside of my mouth as I waited for Devin to ring my doorbell. When my doorbell finally did ring, it wasn’t who I was expecting.
“Well, well, Lilly, aren’t you all dressed up?” my mother smiled knowingly. “Got a hot date tonight?”
She walked around me and threw her very expensive bag onto my couch.
“Mom, what do you need? I actually do have a hot date and he’ll be here any minute so could you make this kind of snappy?” I snapped my fingers for emphasis.
“Oh, so now I need a reason to want to see my lovely daughter?” she smirked.
“Mom, you never come over here this late. I know you and you would’ve just called. What do you want?”
The doorbell ringing stopped her reply. I ran to my room to get my purse, and then I ran back. I wanted to get out of my front door as quickly as possible. The last thing I wanted was for my mom and Devin to run into each other. I did not want them to meet. I couldn’t let that happen right now, not if I ever wanted to see him again.
When I came out of my room, I stopped face to face with Devin. He had a really weird look on his face and for a minute I thought he was going to cancel our date and say that he never wanted to see my fat face again.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us, Lilly? Don’t be rude, I didn’t raise you to be rude.” She smiled sweetly at Devin, but I knew what was on the other side of that smile.
I rolled my eyes and blew out my deep breath.
“Mom, this is Devin. Devin, this is my overbearing, bossy, thinks she owns my apartment building, mother.” I smiled sarcastically and sweetly back at my mom.
I could feel Devin’s nervousness radiating toward me. Poor guy.
“Devin, you look familiar. Have we met before?” my mother purred.
His entire body went stiff and for a minute something seemed…off.
“No, ma’am, I don’t think we have, but it’s nice to meet you. Lilly, are you ready? I hate to be rude, Mrs. Sheffield, but we have dinner reservations for thirty minutes from now.”
“Not at all, Devin, you kids have fun.”
The way she said his name made my stomach turn.
She snatched up her bag and went to the front door. “I’ll call you tomorrow, Lilly.”
Then she was gone. I turned to Devin with an apology in my eyes.
“I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” he asked.
“I didn’t arrange for you to meet my mother or anything like that, she just popped up and I was in the process of trying to kick her out when you…”
He reached out and grabbed my hand, stopping all words from leaving my mouth.
“No worries, it wasn’t that bad. Stop apologizing to me all the time,” he smiled. “Let’s go, I’m starving.”
Once we were at the restaurant, I spent the first few minutes looking over the menu and trying to find a not so expensive meal. I wanted this meal to also be small. I wanted the meal to say, “Hey this chick really doesn’t eat that much.”
Later, after we left the restaurant, we stopped off at a gas station really quick and I sat in the car while Devin pumped gas. He apologized like a mad man for not having gotten the gas before the date. I laughed at him. Like I cared whether or not he got gas. I was out and about with him and that’s what mattered to me at this point. It didn’t matter if we were at a nice restaurant or at a ratty old gas station.
I ran inside for a pack of minty gum and was on my way back to his car when I noticed him talking with another guy.
“Lilly, this is my friend Matt. Matt, this is Lilly.” He looked nervous as he tucked his hands into his pockets and looked away from me.
“Nice to meet you,” I said.
The million dollar question…do hot boys run in packs? Was it like a secret society that no one knew about, because Matt was hot! He was just as tall as Devin with black hair and sea blue eyes. I wanted to stick my pinky finger in his little dimple as he smiled back at me. His eyes brazenly moved up and down my body and I suddenly felt naked. I had to stop myself from covering my boobs with my hands. Heat infused my face as I started to blush.
Was he wondering what Devin was doing running around town with the fat girl?
“It’s very nice to meet you, Lilly.”
He exaggerated the L’s in my name which resulted in his tongue being flicked at me before he sucked his bottom lip in and ran his teeth across it.
And then I saw it… a look that I instantly recognized. It was the same look Devin had given me that very first day in the café, the same look I get from Devin all the time. Matt was checking me out. He was smiling and talking to me all flirty like.
What the hell was going on around me? Was I suddenly secreting some female hormone that I never had before? And did this secret female hormone attract sexual man beasts? I seemed to be surrounded by them lately. I’m not complaining, but what the hell?
I looked over at Devin and almost laughed out loud when a scowl developed across his face.
“So, Lilly, what the hell are you doing out with a punk like Devin. You could be out with a real man like me,” he winked and nodded.
Typical playboy moves…I think. At least that’s what they do on TV.
I laughed nervously and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
“That’s enough, Matt,” I heard Devin say. “What are you getting into tonight?”
“Headed over to a party on the docks. Y’all should come. It’ll be fun.”
“That sounds fun.” I smiled sweetly at Devin. “Wanna go?”
Devin didn’t look too happy about it, but he agreed.
Within the hour, we were at some strange house with a bunch of laughing, drunken people. It was pretty exciting. Technically, it was my first house party.
Matt handed me a fruity drink before leaving me and Devin alone. I watched as he made his way through the room and socialized with random women.
“He’s a dog, you know?” Devin spoke as his sipped on his soda.
I thought it was really cool that he wasn’t drinking so that he could drive.
“What?” I asked.
“Matt, he’s a good friend. Don’t get me wrong, but he’s a man-whore. He flirts with everyone. I just wanted to let you know before you run off with him for the rest of the night.” He shrugged and looked away like he could care less.
“Whatever,” I laughed and playfully pushed at his hard chest.
I met so many different people, some were friends of Devin’s, some were friends of a friend, like me. I felt very welcomed and comfortable. It was nothing like high school that was for sure.
Before long, I had quite the buzz. I’m not sure how many drinks I had, but I thought for sure that my bladder would explode in a matter of minutes if I didn’t find the nearest bathroom.
The music was muffled once I was in the bathroom. I tried to reapply my makeup and look a little more presentable. I laughed at myself when I realized that I actually looked drunk. My eyes were glazed over and my cheeks were flushed. I even noticed myself leaning a little more onto the bathroom counter than I usually would.
“No more drinks for you, Lilly,” I said to myself with a little chuckle.
I left the bathroom and was making my way down a long, empty hallway that led to the party when I met Devin. Like the drunken person that I was, I gave in and leaned against the wall.
“Stick a fork in me. I’m done!” I giggled when I heard myself slurring. The giggle was followed by a hiccup.
He laughed.
“Do you want me to take you home?” An adorable smile spread across his face.
“Yes, please.” I pressed my cheeks against the cold wall and closed my eyes.
The hallway seemed to be shifting under my feet and I knew that I had definitely over done it in the drinking department. A soft moan escaped my lips as I switched cheeks against the cool hallway wall.
Suddenly, I felt fingers in my hair. I turned toward the hands and enjoyed the feel of it. He worked his fingers through the strands and tucked stray pieces of hair behind my ear. Soon, I felt his soft lips against mine. His kiss was so soft and sweet. I let him take my lips. I heard myself making little noises, but it was like the alcohol had washed away the filters in my brain and I was free to say whatever I wanted.
“That feels amazing,” I slurred.
“You feel amazing,” he whispered in my ear.
My sexual tension snapped and I turned and kissed him. I used my palms to push him up against the wall as I attacked his mouth like a starving woman. I felt like I could do anything. I had no fear whatsoever about being rejected. I kissed him harder and faster as I pinned him to the wall with my body. He delved his hands into my hair and turned my head to get deeper into the kiss.
Liquid bravery…I’d been taking shot after shot of that shit all night and now I could do anything I wanted. I reached down the front of him and grabbed his hardness through his jeans. He was turned on and the noises he made once I was touching him were making me even more courageous.
I had no idea what the hell I was doing, I just knew I wanted to touch him everywhere. I started to move my hand up and down and I felt his body go tense as he let out a little growl. I moved closer to him and continued to kiss him like the deprived woman that I was.
I moved away from his lips and nibbled at his ear before I moved to his neck. More little noises were pulled from him. His breathing got hard and fast as I continued to run my hand over the front of his pants over and over again. He whispered my name and it drove me harder.
“Lilly, stop,” he rasped against my mouth.
I continued touching him and kissing him.
“Please, Lilly, this is wrong. You have to stop.”
His voice was soft and inviting. He didn’t sound like a man that wanted me to stop. He sounded like he was begging me to keep going. The whining sound in his voice let me know that he definitely did not want to stop.
I didn’t. Instead, I reached down inside his jeans and grabbed him.
“Yes,” he whispered into my mouth. “Fuck yes, touch me, baby.”
I moved my hand up and down the best I could since his belt was cutting into my arm. He was so hot to the touch and while he was hard as a rock, he still managed to feel soft to the touch.
Before I realized what was happening he pushed me up against the opposite wall of the hallway. I felt his hot hands against my outer thighs as he roughly pushed my skirt up. I heard the jingling of his belt and the sound of his zipper. He lifted my leg up and around his hip and tugged my panties to the side. He looked back up at me and the look in his eyes was raw… dangerous with need.
I gripped at his shoulders and prepared myself for the shot of pain that was supposed to come with your first time.
I felt hot hardness against my inner thigh and his breath against my ear when he leaned forward. He gripped my ass with one hand and lifted my leg more with the other as he pressed against me. Then as quickly as it started, everything stopped.
He let go of my leg and he moved away from me. I let it slowly dropped to the ground while he reached down and pulled my skirt to cover me back up. Finally, he looked me in the face and the wild passion was gone. Instead of the feral man he was just seconds before, he looked like a scared, unadulterated little boy that had just woken up from a horrible nightmare.
“I’m so sorry, Lilly. I don’t know what came over me,” he shook his head.
“It’s OK. I don’t want you to stop,” I breathed.
“No,” he snapped. “This can’t happen.”
He looked away from me and put his clothes back together. The jingle of his belt and his zipper sounded again, reminding me of what almost just happened.
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked.
I still felt like my knees were going to give out on me.
“I can’t let that happen. We can’t have sex.”
It took a minute for his words to register. This continues to happen—me throwing myself at him and him wanting me, and then suddenly pushing me away. I was getting blue balls and I didn’t even have balls! I felt like every girl part I owned was about to pop if something, anything, didn’t get released soon.
What man in his right mind turns down a ready and willing woman? I mean seriously!
Then a thought crossed my mind.
“Oh God, Devin. Do you have something? Like an STD or something?”
“What? No! Why the hell would you even ask me that?”
“I just assumed since you keep saying we can’t have sex that there must be a really important reason.”
“No, that’s not it. I can have sex, “he jabbed himself in the chest. “Just not with you.”
The way he said it made me think of all the high school boys who used to talk about me. He sounded like he was completely disgusted by me. I felt like I’d been punched in the face. All this time I was throwing myself at him and he was disgusted by me. That should’ve been my first thought. Duh, Lilly! Men want beach bodies, not beached whales!
Oh he was a sexual creature who wanted sex alright—just not from me. Me. The fat girl. Me. Lilly. He didn’t want me.
I pushed him away and started down the hallway. I felt tears sting my eyes, but there was no way in Hell I was going to cry. I hadn’t cried in years, there was no way I would let him make me cry. I cursed myself for even allowing my eyes to water that little bit.
I heard him call out my name, but I kept walking. I passed through the crowd of party-goers in the living room and I heard his friend, Matt, call out my name as I went out the front door. The cool air rushed over me and cooled my hot, embarrassed skin.
“Hey, sexy girl,” Matt said with a slur. “Did ass-face leave you stranded? Wanna ride me? I mean…do you want me to give you a ride?” He said on purpose with a smirk.
“Yes, please take me home.”
I didn’t care that he was being a big drunk pervert. I didn’t care that he was drunk at all. It was stupid on my part, but I needed to get the hell away from the party and Devin as fast as possible.
I don’t really remember the drive home. I was completely heartbroken and drunk. When I got home Shannon was on the couch with Erin and Gabby.
“Are you drunk?” Shannon shot off of the couch and followed me to my room. “Lil, what’s wrong? Did that bastard do something to hurt you?”
“No, I’m fine!” I called out before slamming the door in her face.
I wasn’t trying to be mean and I know she’d forgive me tomorrow, but I just wanted to go in my room, wash my face, and go to sleep. I never, ever, wanted to see Devin again!
Thirty minutes later, after I was settled in bed with night clothes on, I heard a tap on my door. I knew it was Shannon and the girls trying to be nosey.
“Not now, y’all!” I called back. “I just wanna go to sleep. We can talk about what’s bothering me tomorrow. Goodnight!”
I turned my back to the door and was in the process of getting comfortable when I heard my bedroom door open.
“Shannon, I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t need a power to the fatties pep talk. I just want to be miserable. Please, just let me dwell in my unhappy fatness tonight, OK? Please.” I turned my head into the pillow.
“Don’t say things like that about yourself,” Devin said in a sharp tone.
I sat up like lightning to see him standing beside my bed.
“Get out,” I hissed before turning my back to him.
“I’m so sorry.” I heard him take a deep breath.
The alcohol was slowly leaving my body and the little bit of numbness I felt earlier was beginning to melt away. I was starting to feel the pain of tonight—and my past was slamming into me. Not to mention, my damn leg was starting to hurt again.
I couldn’t take another apology. Not tonight. Not ever. As far as I was concerned, he could take that apology and shove it right up his sexy ass. I grabbed my pillow and hurled it at him.
“Get out! Just leave me alone. You don’t want me that way, then fine! I get it, OK? So quit torturing me. I’ve never done anything to you. Why do you insist on driving me nuts? I’m done with this crap, so leave me the fuck alone!”
I never dropped the F-bomb unless I was really emotional. I’m pretty sure this qualified as an overly dramatic emotional moment.
He didn’t say anything else.
I turned away from him again and soon I heard the soft click of my bedroom door when he left. I fell into a deep, drunken sleep.