Twenty
Flashbacks
“Lil, what’s up with you?” Shannon asked.
“Nothing I’m just tired.” I rolled back over to attempt to go back to sleep.
After Devin literally loved me and left me, I cried, got angry, took a shower to wash away the disgust, and then I got in my bed where I had been ever since.
“Mrs. Franklin’s really worried about you, Lil. You never miss work, and if I’m being honest, if you don’t start eating soon, I’m going to call your mother.”
“Please don’t torture me more by calling her. I’ll eat in a while. I just really need some sleep.”
She said something else, but I just ignored her and went back to sleep. When I opened my eyes again it was dark outside. Someone was ringing my doorbell and banging on my door like a crazy person. I kept waiting for Shannon to answer it, but apparently she wasn’t there.
I wrapped my blanket around myself and dragged ass to the front door. I slung it open and was surprised to see Jenny standing there.
“Dayum! You look like ass, Lil. Are you sick?”
“No. I’m just tired. Is something wrong?”
The minute I saw her standing there I thought instantly of Devin. I suddenly had a horrible thought about something bad happening to him. Even though his name was like fire in my throat I had to ask.
“Are Dad and Devin OK?”
“Oh yeah, everyone’s fine. Dad’s at home and Dev went to Florida.”
Oh my God! Did he move to Florida? Am I really never going to see him again?
I started to panic.
“For good?” The words squeaked out.
“Hell no! He just went to visit our cousin, Alex. He should be back in two days.”
I was pissed at myself for being so relieved.
“Well, what’s up?”
“I got a date!” She squealed like an actual teenage girl.
“What? Come in, come in! Tell me everything!”
I pulled her into my apartment and for the first time in days I felt normal as she proceeded to tell me about this guy named Justin who asked her to the school dance.
“I know its last minute, but could you please help me get dressed. I have no idea what to do,” she shrugged innocently.
“I’d love to! Call Dad and make sure it’s OK for you to sleep over and then we can spend all day tomorrow shopping and getting you ready. What time is Justin picking you up?”
“He’ll be at my house at six.”
Jenny called and of course Dad was OK with her crashing at my place for the night. Shannon came home soon after that. We had Chinese delivered and then spent the night watching chick flicks. I tried with all my might not to talk about Devin or much less think about him. I failed horribly at the last part. I kept thinking about his spontaneous trip to Florida and if it had anything to do with me. I kept wondering if he was even thinking about me.
I went to sleep that night feeling a little better. For some reason, Jenny being with me made things easier. It was the next best thing to having Devin there.
The next morning we got up early, had a quick breakfast, and then headed to the mall. This shopping thing was getting more fun every time I went. We got our hair and nails done and finally, when we were about to give up, we found a gorgeous emerald green knee-length dress that Jenny agreed to wear.
When we walked into Devin’s house I thought Dad was going to have a heart attack when he saw Jenny. She looked beautiful. Her hair and make-up were perfection and the green of her dress brought out her eyes beautifully.
Dad and I met Justin, who seemed like a really nice kid, and then, like a proud older sister, I watched as he gave her a pretty corsage and opened the car door for her. I was so proud and sad at the same time. I looked around me.
I watched Jenny go and looked over at Dad. I shouldn’t have been there. Once the cute couple was completely out of sight I told Dad I was going to head back home. I had no idea what he and Jenny knew, but since the excitement of Jenny’s moment was over, I felt out of place.
“You can stick around, Lilly. Maybe have some dinner with an old man.” Dad said as he took a quick swig of his beer.
“I’d love to, but I really gotta get home. Me and Shannon have some plans tonight and it’s getting late.” I tried to come up with a quick reason to leave.
Being there, in that house full of pictures of Devin when he was younger was making me crazy. The desire to go to his room, lie in his bed, and cry was too overwhelming. As sad as it sounds, even the smell of the old house was depressing me.
“OK, honey. Don’t be a stranger.”
“I won’t,” I lied.
I reached up and gave him a quick hug. I knew I’d probably never see him or Jenny again. Sadness filled me, and before I started to cry and made myself look like an idiot, I quickly turned to leave.
“He misses you,” Dad called after me.
I stopped.
“What?”
“I just thought you should know. Devin misses you.”
Crying was becoming a regular thing for me these days. I cried the entire way back to my apartment. When I got home Shannon finally forced me to tell her what was going on. She hugged me while I cried on her shoulder.
With swollen eyes and an achy throat, I fell asleep in my bed.
At around eleven that night my cell phone started to ring. In a sleepy haze, I almost didn’t answer it in time.
“Hello,” I answered half asleep.
“Lilly! It’s me, Jenny! Could you please come and get me?”
She was in a panic.
I sat up quickly and rubbed my foggy eyes.
“Where are you?” I asked quickly.
I could tell by the sound of her voice that something was definitely wrong.
“At an after party. There’s a bunch of coked out older people here and some fucker grabbed my tit. Justin’s drunk and can’t drive. Please come and get me,” she begged.
I got directions as I tied my shoes and threw my things in my purse.
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Don’t move!”
I was out the door and at a house full of people my age in no time. I got out of my car and made my way through the crowd on the front lawn. The music was so loud I could barely hear myself think.
When I got inside of the house I went up to a few girls and asked if they knew where I could find Jenny. No one seemed to know who I was talking about. I saw Justin passed out in the corner then, after searching the entire first floor and breathing in entirely too much second-hand smoke, I took the stairs two at time.
I threw open every door I came to searching for Jenny. The music seemed to follow me and I still couldn’t hear anything, but out of nowhere the sound of a screaming girl seemed to pierce through the loud rap song that was playing.
I ran toward the scream and ended up in front of the very last door in the long hallway. Without a second thought, I slammed the door open. There struggling on the bed was Jenny and three older men. She was fighting them off with all of her might as they ripped at her pretty green dress.
Memories of that day in the woods when I was being attacked by the malevolent cheerleaders ran through my mind. I could hear my screams in my mind, I could hear myself begging for them to stop beating me, and then Jenny screamed again and it pierced my memories and brought me back to the moment. They were trying to rape her. I only had a second of shock before I went in for the attack.
“Get away from her!” I screamed.
I picked up a huge, red vase and slammed it against the head of the first guy I came to. It shattered as he fell to the floor out cold. The other two attackers swung around on me and I saw Jenny’s terror-filled eyes as she struggled to get off the bed. Her dress was ripped and her hair was a mass of tumbling curls. Black mascara ran down her face with the tears that were rushing down her cheeks.
“What the hell?” one of the guys said.
“Who the hell are you? Look, Eric, it’s a baby hippo!” They laughed.
More memories of being taunted in high school slammed into my mind, all the horrible names, all the bullying and teasing.
“Just let her go,” I tried to sound as calm as possible.
“Why don’t you go downstairs and find something to eat. I’m sure you’d much rather be stuffing your fat trap than worrying about other people’s business.”
“Oh fuck that. I got something I can stuff in her fat trap.”
They laughed again.
With a growl I threw myself at the guy closest to me, but he was stronger than he looked. He pushed me against the wall and I watched as his fist came up. In slow motion it came down against my face.
My cheek exploded and I tasted the blood instantly. I reached out and dug my nails into whatever skin I could find. I could hear Jenny fighting with the other guy in the background. I needed to get to her. I needed to help her.
Another hit came and I felt myself go dizzy. I heard cheerleaders laughing and at the same time I could see Jenny fighting for her life across the room as I fell to the floor. The memory was somehow blending with my reality.
I heard her continue to scream and fight, but every time I attempted to get up there was another kick to my ribs. Finally, the kicks never stopped as my attacker repeatedly put his steel-toed boot into my stomach.
With every kick, I could hear the echoed laughter of teenage girls. I could hear them calling me Large Lilly. It was a replay of when I was fifteen, except instead of a group of girls I was being kicked and punched by a grown man. I must say I preferred the girls.
Just like before, my body went numb and I could no longer feel his kicks. I knew in the back of mind that the numbness was a bad thing.
I heard Jenny scream again and I tried with everything I had to get up once more. Instead of my stomach, I saw his foot coming toward my face. I tried to reach out, but I couldn’t lift my arms. I felt his large boot on the side of my head, and then the room went black.