Chapter Twelve

“And they lived happily ever after.” Jonah closed the book.

Eva Grace giggled, wrinkling her nose. “It doesn’t say that.”

Jonah grinned. “My mother used to add that to every story.”

“Your mommy sounds nice.”

“She is.” Jonah cleared his throat. “You’d like her.”

Abby thought of his mom, a woman she’d once adored. She pressed her lips together. Not being a part of her or Eva Grace’s life had been Nancy’s choice.

“Give me a kiss and a hug, Evie Walnut, and then it’s lights out.”

Eva Grace flung her arms around Abby’s neck and gave her a smacking kiss on the lips. Then she shifted her gaze to Jonah. “Now, you give Mommy a kiss and a hug.”

Before Abby could even react to the ridiculous command, Jonah leaned over. He brushed his lips across Abby’s and gave her a quick hug.

Eva Grace gave a nod and smiled in satisfaction. “Good night.”

Though Abby’s heart raced and her lips tingled from the brief contact, she calmly rose and blew her daughter a kiss. She waited until the door was closed and they were at the end of the hall to stop, ready to round on Jonah.

“Evie Walnut?” He lifted a brow.

The question stopped the anger bubbling up.

“I craved walnuts when I was pregnant. It’s a pet name, something just between the two of us.” Abby fought to bring her thoughts back to the kiss.

“I remember when Mom used to call my little sister Hannah Banana.”

Hannah had been the youngest in his family. Sometimes Eva Grace’s giggle brought Hannah to mind. Abby started to smile, then realized what she was doing and pulled her lips into a stern line. “What were you thinking?”

His brows pulled together in confusion. “Bringing up Hannah?”

“No.” She expelled an irritated breath. “Kissing me.”

He waved a distracted hand. “That wasn’t a kiss.”

It had sure felt like a kiss. She resisted the urge to bring her fingers to her lips. “Why did you do it?”

“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of her request.” Jonah shrugged, his face expressionless. “If I would have asked—”

“I’d have said no and—”

“Eva Grace would have gotten upset, wondering why it was such a big deal. Then you’d have had to come up with some long explanation that would have left her confused and wondering what was the big deal.”

“I’d have simply told her that we just don’t kiss someone we barely know.”

“You told her we were old friends,” he reminded her. “Besides, we’d still be in her bedroom talking about it. This way she’s likely already asleep.”

All true, but it didn’t negate the fact that he was wrong and seemed determined not to admit his error. This time, she’d let it go. They had a lot to discuss, and kissing wasn’t on the agenda. “Don’t do it ever again.”

He offered her a lopsided smile. “Seriously? It was so bad you have to ban my lips for life?”

His humor and gentle teasing had always been part of his appeal. Once upon a time, in another life, she’d loved their playful sparring.

Then she’d discovered what he was really like beneath all that charm. An ache gripped her chest. She wanted him out of her apartment, wanted to make it clear she didn’t want to see or hear from him again.

She took a deep breath—not easy with her chest so tight—and told herself to be rational and not respond based on emotion.

Taking a deep breath, Abby wiped sweaty palms against her skirt and calmed herself. The books were read. Eva Grace was asleep.

Over the years, Abby had faced many difficult conversations. The first was when her father just up and left. She remembered her mother sitting her down and telling her he wasn’t coming back.

There had been the police officer—she couldn’t even recall his name—who’d informed her that her mother had passed away. Then the conversation in the doctor’s office and the spina bifida diagnosis. Now, this . . .

Abby had never shied away from the difficult, though she wished to God she could start now. Or at least put the discussion off until she could wrap her head around the fact that Jonah was back in her life.

But she couldn’t allow herself to shirk her responsibility in this area any longer. The near miss on High Road had showed that her life could end with little warning.

As a parent, she had a duty to do the responsible thing. That meant not putting off a difficult but necessary conversation.

Jonah shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back. “I’d better get going. Your little girl isn’t the only one in this household who needs to sleep.”

Abby opened her mouth, but Jonah rushed forward. “I enjoyed today very much. Getting acquainted with Eva Grace, well, it meant the world to me.”

“Did you mean what you said?” This wasn’t how Abby had meant to start the conversation, but jangled nerves and fatigue meant she wasn’t at her best.

Confusion furrowed his brow. “I’ve meant everything I said to you.”

“Sit down.” She gestured toward the sofa. “We need to talk.”

The bald hope in his eyes irritated her. As did the knowledge that she would likely be giving him everything he wanted.

Jonah waited for her to take a seat on the sofa before settling himself at the other end. He shifted his body to face her. He didn’t say a word, just studied her with warm blue eyes that were so much like his daughter’s she wanted to weep or throw something at him.

Instead, she clasped her hands together and plunged ahead. “Seeing that truck coming straight at me was a wake-up call. Although my life didn’t flash before my eyes, sitting in that cornfield, I realized I was lucky. I could easily have been seriously injured or killed.”

Even now, just recalling that moment had Abby closing her eyes and breathing a prayer of thanks.

When she opened her eyes, she sensed Jonah staring. She avoided his eyes, focusing instead on a spot over his shoulder. Abby let her gaze settle on a Felix the Cat wall clock that had once belonged to her great-aunt. While it didn’t really fit with the decor, Eva Grace loved the swinging tail. Having it with them was like having a bit of family.

Jonah cleared his throat when the silence lengthened. “What are you saying, Abby?”

“I’ve reconsidered my earlier refusal. You and Eva Grace need to become better acquainted.” She held up a hand when joy flashed in Jonah’s eyes. “If something should happen to me, I want to be assured Eva Grace will be cared for and loved. I have good friends in this community, but none are in the position to raise a child should that become necessary.”

“I promise you, Abs, you won’t regret giving me another chance.”

He reached for her hands, might have taken one of hers in his if she hadn’t sat back, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Let me be clear.” The flat tone to her voice had his smile disappearing. “I don’t want you back in my life, although I will play nice for Eva Grace’s sake. What I’m suggesting is a trial period where you and my daughter get to know each other. If things go well, then I’ll look at the next step.”

Jonah’s gaze searched hers. “Will you tell her I’m her father?”

Abby shook her head. “Not now.”

“When?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Maybe never.”

His brows slammed together, and she could practically see the protest rising to his lips. It was clear he wanted to argue the point. Yet he’d always possessed a great deal of self-control, so she wasn’t surprised when he took a second to speak. “Won’t she wonder why I’m hanging around?”

“She’s aware we knew each other growing up. She’ll accept the fact that we’re . . . friends.” Abby forced herself to choke out the word. “You’ll spend time with us. We’ll go on outings.”

The plan sounded stupid when spoken aloud. Or maybe it was simply her way of explaining it that made it sound that way. “You’re right. I am tired and probably not making much sense. The bottom line is I’d like you and Eva Grace to become acquainted. That will help me decide the next step.”

He nodded slowly, his expression unreadable. “What about us?”

Abby watched Felix’s tail go back and forth. It reminded her of this conversation. Back and forth and going nowhere.

“I trusted you once, Jonah. Way back when, I considered you my best friend.” A lump rose to Abby’s throat, and that tight squeezing returned, stealing her breath. She absolutely did not want to go down this road again. But she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “You let me down. Big time. Not only that day in the office, but you weren’t there when I delivered. I was so scared. And all alone.”

“I came to your apartment after that office visit. I tried to discuss the situation with you.” Jonah leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs, his gaze riveted to her. “You wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say. You screamed at me to leave you alone and made it clear you wanted nothing more to do with me.”

“Do you blame me?” She cursed the fact that her voice was thick with emotion. “You wanted me to kill the baby growing inside me.”

He flinched, and his cheeks reddened as if she’d slapped him. But he couldn’t argue the point. No, he couldn’t argue because everything she’d said was true.

“Veronica was—”

“Screw Veronica. Stop using her as an excuse.” Abby’s tone sliced the air like a whip. “We’re talking about you, Jonah, not her. We’re talking about you abandoning the child—your child—who was growing inside me. We’re talking about you leaving one of your oldest friends—who’d only wanted to help you and your wife—swinging alone in the wind.”

“You still hold that decision against me.” His voice was heavy with resignation.

She didn’t feel an ounce of sympathy.

“Damn right I still hold that against you. And I will until the day I die.” Though blood ran hot through her veins, her tone could have frozen ice. Abby’s heart hammered against her chest, and her entire body trembled with rage. She was glad she was seated because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stand.

She lifted her hands, palms down, and concentrated on calming herself. “This is about Eva Grace and what’s best for her.”

From the moment Abby had first felt the baby first move, everything had become about what was best for that child growing inside her. The hope of one day owning and running a successful business, the reason that had led her to accept Jonah and Veronica’s offer, had fallen to a distant second place.

Jonah leaned back against the sofa and expelled a heavy breath, suddenly looking much older than thirty. “Let’s see if I’ve got this straight. You’re willing to let me become better acquainted with Eva Grace so you can assess if I’ll make a proper guardian for her in the event you’re unexpectedly killed.”

“In a nutshell, yes.”

“You realize she’s my biological daughter. I’ve paid child support since she was born. While I may not have asserted my rights before, that doesn’t mean I couldn’t take you to court now. My name is on the birth certificate. Legally, I am her father. I could get sole custody.”

Abby quit breathing. The blood in her veins stopped flowing, and she went cold all over. She’d been a fool to let him get close to Eva Grace, to even consider for one moment that she could trust—

“I won’t pursue legal action.” He spoke quickly as if realizing a second too late he might not have been clear. “I sent the money because Eva Grace is my daughter. You are her mother. You’re the one who has cared for her and loved her even before she was born.”

“Why did you bring up taking me to court?” Abby clasped her hands together to still their trembling. Her entire body quivered, not with fear but rage.

Like a snake, anger slithered and coiled around her.

“I want to get to know my daughter.” His eyes were fierce and determined. “But this isn’t a game. I won’t have Eva Grace used as a pawn.”

“I would never make her a pawn in—”

“You said you’d decide the next step after she and I become acquainted.” Jonah inclined his head. “Were you thinking of simply tossing me aside if you decide Matilda or Nell would be a better choice?”

“I’m still figuring this out.” Abby lifted her chin. She would not let him make her feel inadequate simply because she didn’t have all the steps plotted out.

“Let me tell you how I see it.” The stubborn tilt to his jaw, the same one she’d seen many times growing up, returned. “Eva Grace and I will get better acquainted. But I will not, I repeat, I will not step out of her life. I will not become her friend and then abandon her.”

“I wasn’t suggesting—”

“It sure sounded that way to me.” Blue eyes glinted with warning. “I abandoned my daughter once. I won’t make that mistake again.”

+

“I imagine bringing Jonah back into Eva Grace’s life was a difficult decision.” Nell slanted Abby a sideways look as the two women jogged at a steady pace down one of the many hiking/biking trails that ran through town.

After dropping Eva Grace off at school, Abby had met Nell at the Green. Over the course of a three-mile run, she’d told Nell everything. All about the surrogacy contract, about Jonah and Veronica, and about her decision to let Jonah get acquainted with Eva Grace.

Nell had let her talk uninterrupted until she finished. Though her friend hadn’t commented as Abby relayed the facts, her attentiveness told her Nell’s attorney brain was busy processing everything she said.

“I’m still not certain it was the right decision.” Abby slowed her pace as the end of the course came into view.

“You could have asked one of us.” Nell’s ice-blue eyes searched Abby’s. “I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’d happily take in the munchkin.”

“I know you would.” Abby stopped at a bench and bent over to stretch.

“You made yourself believe he was your only option.” Nell paused and stretched beside her, her body long and lean.

“I did.”

“Even though you had other options.”

Trust Nell to cut to the point.

“I never knew my father.”

If Nell found the abrupt comment confusing, it didn’t show. She gestured to the Starbucks coffee kiosk located in the center of the Green. “Let’s fuel up. My treat.”

Once they had the steaming cups of their favorite dark roast in hand, they took a seat on one of the benches scattered throughout the area.

Nell studied Abby over the top of her cup. “What happened with your dad?”

“He left when I was six. I remember only bits and pieces of him.” Abby sighed. “But I missed him. As I got older and watched my friends with their dads, in one breath, I desperately wished he’d come back. In the next breath, I hated him for leaving me.”

Nell took a long drink of coffee and sat back, cradling the cup between her fingers.

At that moment, Abby understood why she was so effective in the courtroom. When Cornelia Ambrose looked at you in that way, you wanted to tell her everything without her even asking.

She met Nell’s gaze. “I didn’t ask for Jonah to come here. But now that he is . . .”

Abby’s voice trailed off. When she’d spoken with Jonah, she’d been certain that involving him in Eva Grace’s life was the right decision. Now she wasn’t so sure.

“Do you think he’d harm Eva Grace?”

“Harm her?” Abby’s voice rose.

“Physically? Emotionally? Psychologically?”

“No,” Abby answered immediately.

“He ran out on you. Left you with total care of his baby. You had to give up your dreams.” Though the words were harsh, Nell’s voice remained conversational. “All you were trying to do was help give two friends their dream.”

Abby expelled a ragged breath. She couldn’t argue with facts. “That’s why I’m not telling Eva Grace that he’s her father.”

“To punish him?”

“What? No.” Then, again, for more emphasis, “No.”

“Frankly, I don’t see the purpose in not telling her.” Nell tilted her head. “C’mon, Abs. You decide to let him in—”

“Just a little.”

“You decided to let him in,” Nell repeated. “The odds are, during these next few weeks or months, he’s not going to do anything so heinous that you’ll kick him out of her life. With that being the case, why not tell the munchkin the truth up front?”

“I don’t want Eva Grace hurt.” Abby lifted her chin, but the movement reminded her of Jonah. She immediately lowered her jaw. “We’ll take this slow, and we’ll do it my way.”