Chapter Seventeen

“Mommy. I want to go on the slide next.” Eva Grace held Nana’s and Papa’s hands, the brightness of her smile only surpassed by those of the adults standing beside her.

Ignoring the gratitude in their eyes, Abby tipped her head back and glanced at the monster slide. Simply looking at all the steps leading up to the top made her dizzy.

As if recalling the time Abby had to be led down from the top of a slide at Knight’s Action Park in Springfield, Nancy smiled understandingly. “Michael and I can take her.”

“You expect me to believe you and dad are going to ride down on a piece of burlap?” Jonah’s obvious disbelief had his father’s eyes firing.

“I know it might be hard for you to believe, but your mother and I are capable of having fun.” Michael shifted his gaze to Abby. “If it’s okay with you, that is.”

“Please, Mommy, please.” Eva Grace clasped her hands together.

“Have fun.” Abby chuckled when the threesome headed toward the steps. “Glad it’s them and not me.”

“Since we’re alone, there’s something I want to say.”

Abby turned, the smile slipping from her face. “Can’t you just let things be?”

Puzzlement crossed his face, and for a few blessed seconds there was silence.

“I only wanted to say thanks.” Jonah spoke stiffly, haltingly. He gestured with his head toward where his parents and Eva Grace climbed the steps. “This has probably been one of the best days of their life.”

Abby lifted her lips in a sardonic smile. “I hardly think making their way through a corn maze, dressing a scarecrow, and now, going on a big slide qualifies.”

“No, but spending time with you and Eva Grace does.” He shifted from one foot to the other. “Letting her call them Nana and Papa—”

“Don’t make a big deal out of something that isn’t.” Abby set her jaw. “It was easiest to let her call them that. That’s all.”

Her tone dared him to disagree.

Shading his eyes with his hand, Jonah glanced up. “It looks like they’re going to be in line for a while.”

“They don’t appear to mind the wait.” Even from this distance, Abby could see by her daughter’s expansive hand gestures that Eva Grace was entertaining them with one of her stories.

“Do you still like pumpkin doughnuts?”

Abby blinked at the question that seemed to come out of nowhere. “Who doesn’t?”

“Let’s get one.” Jonah’s gaze searched hers.

He was asking something that didn’t have a thing to do with pumpkin doughnuts, but darned if she could figure out his hidden agenda. And now that he’d mentioned the treat, her mouth began to water. “Okay.”

As the day had turned into midafternoon, the after-school crowd had flooded into the pumpkin patch. When Jonah took her elbow as they wove their way through kids with snow cones and adults with cups of sweet-smelling apple cider, Abby didn’t protest.

She didn’t like him touching her, even in the most impersonal way, but she had to be practical. If they got separated, finding him quickly might prove difficult.

As they reached the food barn, he shot her a quick grin. He ordered a doughnut for each of them as well as cups of warm apple cider. A wave of longing rose up inside her.

Abby missed the boy she’d grown up with, the one she’d trusted with her hopes and dreams. But, she told herself, that boy was gone. Unless she wanted to be like the moth and the flame, she needed to keep her distance, at least emotionally.

His parents were another story. At the end of her lunch with his mother, Nancy had asked for forgiveness. Abby had looked into the woman’s eyes and had seen the regret, the pain, and the sincerity.

Abby was convinced that Veronica’s threats were the reason Nancy and Michael had kept their distance at first. But she still wondered why they’d stayed away this last year. Had they really worried Veronica would follow through with her threat once she and their son had divorced?

Regardless, they were Eva Grace’s grandparents. The only ones her daughter would ever have.

She was beginning to realize that keeping Jonah away from Eva Grace would only be punishing her daughter.

Fact: Jonah was Eva Grace’s father.

Fact: he wanted to be part of Eva Grace’s life.

Fact: all the reading she’d done lately indicated that having a positive father-daughter relationship had a huge impact on a girl’s self-esteem and confidence.

All Abby had ever wanted was the best for her little girl. Which meant letting Jonah Rollins—and his family—be a part of Eva Grace’s life.

+

“That was an awesome doughnut.” Jonah popped the last bite into his mouth and washed it down with the last of the cider. “The glaze kept it from being too dry.”

“I feel bad we didn’t get anything for your parents, but I don’t like Eva Grace loading up on sweets.” Abby’s dark hair shone like polished walnut in the afternoon sun.

In her jeans and hoodie, she looked comfortable and approachable. This outing had been the stuff of dreams. It was as if the past five years had never happened. But Jonah wasn’t foolish enough to believe all was good between him and Abby.

While it wasn’t as bad as walking on eggshells, he was well aware that trust, once lost, didn’t easily return.

“You’re a good mom, Abby.”

To his surprise, she frowned. “You sound surprised.”

“I’m not.” His heart tripped at the edge in her tone. “It was a simple compliment.”

He tossed his cup in a recycle bin for paper, then shoved his hands into his pockets. Don’t go there, the rational part of his brain urged. But the thought that had been circling all day had him blurting out, “I don’t think Veronica would have been a good one.”

Abby dumped her cup, then turned, a look of puzzlement on her face. “A good what?”

“Mother.” Jonah rocked back on his heels, blew out a breath. “It somehow feels disloyal to say, but watching you—and knowing her as I did—I don’t think she’d have been a good mother.”

Though he certainly didn’t expect her to stand up for Veronica, Jonah knew that at one time, Abby and his ex-wife had been friendly. Abby had agreed to carry a baby for him and Veronica. Which meant she must have thought Veronica would be a good mother.

Abby remained silent for a long moment.

“I thought I knew Veronica. I didn’t.” Abby shrugged. “Since I was so utterly wrong about what her heart was like, anything I say now will be pure speculation.”

Jonah wished he’d kept his mouth shut. Why had he brought up the past? Right now Abby was probably thinking how wrong she’d been about him.

The phone in his pocket vibrated. “It’s a text from my father. They want to know if it’s okay if they take Eva Grace on the Pumpkin Wheel.”

Their gazes lifted as one to the giant Ferris wheel. Painted a vivid orange with green spokes, it rose high over the pumpkin patch.

“Eva Grace has never been on a Ferris wheel before.” Two lines of worry furrowed Abby’s brow. “Find out where they’re at, and tell them we’ll be right there. I want to speak with my daughter before saying yes or no.”

Jonah quickly texted his dad, then received a response back with the location. He took Abby’s arm as they wove their way toward the Ferris wheel.

He wasn’t sure whether it was her concern about Eva Grace that had her not pulling away or the knowledge that it would be easy for them to become separated in the mass of people.

They found his parents enthralled by some story Eva Grace was spinning.

Abby gave Eva Grace’s hair a tug to get her attention.

A brilliant smile flashed across the child’s face. She pointed to the gigantic Ferris wheel. “Mama. Can I go on the Pumpkin Wheel with Nana and Papa, puh-leeze?”

Abby tilted her head back and winced. “It’s very tall.”

Something in the way Abby said the words had Eva Grace going still, a flicker of uncertainty entering her eyes. She turned to Michael. “I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m scared.”

“That’s okay, sweetheart.” Michael patted her shoulder. “There are lots of other attractions.”

The little girl had picked up on her mother’s fears. Jonah thought about saying something about the ride being safe but kept silent.

Abby swallowed hard. Then stunned him by smiling brightly. “It looks like a lot of fun.”

Eva Grace blinked. “It does?”

“I’ve always wanted to ride on it.” The lie, at least Jonah thought it was a lie, slipped easily from Abby’s lips.

“Me too.” Eva Grace offered a tentative smile. “But it’s . . . high.”

“That’s part of the fun.” Abby cleared her throat. “In fact, I think we should all enjoy the ride.”

+

“I went crazy for a second,” Abby muttered as the attendant made sure she was secured behind the metal bar.

“Pardon?” The ride operator’s bald head glittered like a highly polished cue ball, and his gold canine glittered in the sunlight.

“Sorry.” Abby waved an airy hand. “Just talking to myself.”

The man shot Jonah a glance. “Everything okay here?”

Jonah gave him thumbs-up. “We’re good.”

A second later, the enclosed car lurched upward, swinging back and forth. Abby gasped and squeezed her eyes shut.

Jonah reached out, and she gripped his hand tightly.

“In case you were wondering”—Abby kept her eyes closed—“this is the reason I didn’t want to ride with Eva Grace.”

“You’ll be fine, but I think you’ll do better with your eyes open.” His deep voice was low and reassuring. “There is something about swaying when you have them closed that makes everything worse.”

“I don’t want to look out and see how high we are.”

“You don’t have to look out. Just fix your gaze on me.”

He was right. The swaying with her eyes shut was making her feel nauseated.

She shifted in her seat, as much as the bar across her front would allow, and slowly opened her eyes.

His gaze was steady, as comforting as the clasp of his hand. “You’re doing this for Eva Grace. You don’t want her to be afraid.”

She blinked in surprise. “How did you—”

He gave a little chuckle. “You don’t like heights. I can’t think of another reason that would get you on one of these things.”

The car lurched upward and swung back and forth wildly as if someone had given it a good strong shove.

She tightened her fingers around Jonah’s. “I don’t want her to be afraid like me. I’ve been uneasy around heights my entire life. I don’t even like being on tall ladders. The last thing I want is to pass that irrational fear on to my daughter.”

Before he could say a word, Abby took a breath and continued on. She didn’t care whether she was rambling. When she was talking, she didn’t have to think about where she was or the confusing knowledge that simply being with Jonah steadied her. “I put that flicker of fear in her eyes with my thoughtless comment, and I couldn’t let it stay. But I wasn’t sure I could hide it from her if we were in the same car.”

Overhead, she could hear Eva Grace’s laughter.

“My parents are thrilled you let her ride with them.”

“She likes them. I can tell.” The car jerked upward again, then stopped. Abby’s breath froze. “Why is it taking so long to load?”

The one thing Abby knew was the ride couldn’t end until it began.

“I believe there was a large group with mobility issues in line behind us.”

“There was?” She might not be a trained observer, but Abby prided herself on noticing her surroundings.

“You were too busy keeping that brave smile on your face to notice.” Jonah’s tone was gentle with understanding.

Abby nodded, the queasiness in her stomach rising with each movement of the car. By the lurching upward, she knew they were higher, higher than she’d ever been in her life. But she wasn’t about to look out the metal grating to see just how high.

“Remember our junior prom?”

Abby pulled her thoughts from her stomach, not an easy task, and focused on Jonah. “What about it?”

“You’d gone with Kevin Murphy and I was there with . . .”

He paused as if searching for a name.

“Lucy Brogan,” she offered.

He nodded. “It was hot in the gym.”

“I slipped outside for some air when Kevin went to the restroom . . . and there you were.” Abby remembered her delight when she’d spotted Jonah.

“Lucy was out doing some synchronized something with other members of the dance team.” Jonah gave a laugh. “A good boyfriend probably should have stayed and watched.”

“The cool air outside felt wonderful.” As had his jacket when he’d wrapped it around her when she’d shivered. The clean scent of his soap and shampoo had lingered on the jacket, and she’d felt surrounded by him.

The moon had been full and had cast a golden glow. For those few moments, it had felt as if no one else in the world existed.

“You kissed me.” She nearly sighed the words, then shook her head. “It was wrong.”

“Because I had a girlfriend.” It was a statement, not a question.

“And because I had a boyfriend.”

“It felt like my only chance to show you how I felt.” There was a sadness in Jonah’s eyes. “I’d started to feel as if the fates had conspired against us. Each time I was free, you were in a relationship. When you were available, I wasn’t.”

“Then you went off to college, and I stayed in Springfield.” Abby kept her tone light even when her heart began to ache. “You found Veronica, and the rest is history.”

“You were the most intelligent, focused girl I’d ever known.” The soft words wrapped around her like a lover’s caress. “You knew the tough fight you would have to build a business of your own, but you didn’t let that dissuade you. You were determined to make it happen.”

Abby smiled. “I wanted that coffee shop so bad I could taste it.”

“I never understood why a coffee shop.”

Abby felt the ride picking up speed and knew they were high by the drop in the air temperature. When the car began to drop, panic clawed at her throat.

For a second, she feared she might lose it, but his fingers tightened around hers. “Tell me why a coffee shop.”

She forced herself to stare into his intense blue gaze. Her skin prickled, and an emotion she didn’t want to examine too closely filled her. “Remember Sunrise Coffee?”

Jonah nodded. “The place on Plaza.”

“That’s the one. I used to go there all the time after school.” Abby grabbed on to the memory. “Even now, I’ll catch the scent of a rich Ethiopian blend, and I’ll be right back there. The place was nothing special, but Joe and Sue—they were the owners—made me feel welcome. I wanted to give that feeling back to other kids and other adults.”

“Now you welcome guests to your hotel.”

“I do.” She smiled. “It isn’t quite the same, but I enjoy it.”

As if he’d sensed there was more, he probed. “Have you ever thought of opening a coffee shop in the historic district?”

“There aren’t any open locations.” She shrugged. “I think there’s a need, but there isn’t a space for a shop. People have to settle for the Starbucks kiosk in the Green.”

“You’re an amazing businesswoman. Heck, you’re amazing period.”

The warmth of his tone had her heart skittering. Abby took a deep breath and willed herself to relax.

When he released her hand, she stopped the protest rising to her lips. She wasn’t a frightened child who needed to hold someone’s hand.

Without warning, before she had a second to breathe, his lips were on hers, exquisitely gentle and achingly tender. Her heart squeezed tight in her chest.

This was a dangerous game. As much as Abby knew she should push Jonah away, another part of her yearned for this closeness. Even if it was just for the moment.

He didn’t say a word. Perhaps if he had, she’d have come to her senses. Instead, she leaned forward and planted a kiss at the base of his neck, his skin salty beneath her lips.

Then he was kissing her, long, dreamy kisses that had her forgetting everything in the pleasure.

“I hope you enjoyed the ride.” The door to their car opened abruptly.

Abby sprang back from Jonah. Well, as far back as the bar across her midsection would allow.

The attendant flashed a knowing smile as he helped Abby out onto the platform leading to the exit steps.

She took a second to steady herself, then turned to Jonah. Though her quiet voice shook when she spoke, she met his gaze firmly. “This can’t happen again.”