Chapter Twenty

“Let me get this straight.” Nell leaned back in the chair and stared incredulously at Abby. “You wanted to meet me for breakfast to give Jonah a reason to watch Eva Grace?”

“I would have eaten by myself, but I knew it’d be more fun with you.” Abby had chosen the Green Gateau, a bistro located just off the Green. The place, known for its eclectic Euro-American menu, served a cherry-stuffed french toast that was rumored to be positively orgasmic. “Besides, it’s so much food, and this way we can split.”

Nell sipped her coffee, a rich Columbian blend. “Why did you want him to watch Eva Grace so badly?”

“I didn’t.” Abby couldn’t resist pouring some table cream from the pretty cobalt-blue pitcher into her coffee. “I’d told him I wanted to speak with him about something. Then I changed my mind and instead asked him to watch Eva Grace.”

Nell leaned back in her seat, looking incredibly lovely in her form-fitting blue sweater and plaid skirt. Chains of stones hung in varying length around her neck. Her friend had gone for a late-60s look, and it suited her short blonde hair.

“What was your—?” Nell paused when the waitress brought out the french toast on mismatched china plates, then flashed a brilliant smile. “You divided the order for us.”

“It can be kind of messy to separate on your own.” The girl, who couldn’t have been more than eighteen, flushed with pleasure at the delight in Nell’s voice.

“That was nice of you.” Nell glanced down at the china plate ringed by tiny rosebuds. “This will be worth the increased cardio.”

“I agree.” Abby shifted her attention back to the server. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem.” The girl smiled. “I have to take out another order, then I’ll bring you ladies more coffee.”

“Ladies.” Abby grimaced when the girl was out of earshot. “We’re not that old.”

“When you’re her age, women who are thirty qualify as ancient.” Nell forked off a bite of the french toast and watched cream cheese and cherries ooze out.

“We’re not ancient.”

“In my early twenties, a hot weekend night would have been spent clubbing.” Nell shook her head and heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Ah, the good old days.”

“Speaking of hot weekend nights.” Abby motioned in a give-me-the-deets gesture. “How was your date last night with the sexy stockbroker?”

“I’m not certain that ‘sexy’ and ‘stockbroker’ ever go together.” Nell brought the french toast to her mouth and chewed, closing her eyes. A look of pleasure washed over her pretty face. “This is fantastic. Why haven’t we come here before?”

Abby waved the question aside. “How was the guy? C’mon, spill.”

Nell placed her fork on the table. Picking up the coffee cup, she peered at Abby over the rim. “Would you believe he stood me up?”

“No way.” Abby couldn’t imagine any man not showing up for a date with Nell. Her friend had the trifecta: brains, class, and a killer body. Oh, and a wicked sense of humor.

“It’s true.” Nell lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “He texted me this morning with some lame excuse. I deleted it. Bye-bye, Calvin.”

“I’m so sorry.” Abby reached across the table and squeezed Nell’s hand. “You’re better off without him.”

“I agree.” Nell kept her eyes on Abby, her gaze watchful. “At least the evening wasn’t a total loss.”

“Really?” Abby took a bite of the french toast and agreed with Nell. It really was—

“I ran into Jonah.” Nell’s tone was matter-of-fact. “We had dinner together.”

The cream cheese, cherries, and bread formed a hard lump in Abby’s throat. She forced herself to swallow. On the verge of choking, Abby washed the rest down with the last of her coffee.

Jealousy spewed hot embers in her belly. Still, she told herself, if Nell could play it cool, so could she.

“That’s interesting.” Abby could have cheered when her voice came out casual and offhand, just as she intended. “How did that come about?”

Jonah hadn’t said word one to her this morning about spending last night with Nell. Beautiful, accomplished Nell.

Of course, she hadn’t given him much of a chance to tell her anything. Eva Grace had been eager to play the game of Hisss he’d brought with him. Still, she’d have thought he would have mentioned something as important as having dinner with one of her best friends.

“Calvin and I were supposed to meet at a trattoria on Dearborn. I waited thirty, which was twenty more than I should have. On my way out of the restaurant, I ran into Jonah.” Nell paused and smiled when the server stopped by to refill their cups.

“How is your breakfast?” the girl politely inquired.

“Fine.” Abby had to force out the word. She didn’t want to talk about food; she wanted to talk about Jonah. And she wouldn’t get anything out of Nell until the girl left.

But, she reminded herself, her personal situation heading toward the toilet wasn’t this girl’s fault. “Actually, it’s excellent. Thanks so much.”

“Let me know if you need anything else.”

Once she’d slipped away, Abby refocused on Nell. “And?”

“He invited me to join him for dinner.” This time, Nell didn’t wait for questions but continued. “He was there with a guy and his fiancée and another woman.”

“A date?” Abby heard the shock in her voice. But really, why did it matter? Jonah was certainly free to date whoever he wanted. Yet, after the kisses they’d shared, it felt like a betrayal.

Nell’s eyes were steady and very blue. “Not a date.”

“How do you know that?”

“He barely paid attention to her. He asked me to join them and seemed relieved when I agreed.” Nell picked up her fork, her gaze shifting for a second to a blue jay chattering on a leafy limb nearby.

“Not conclusive.” Abby shook her head. The knot that had been in her throat had taken up residence in the pit of her stomach.

“He told her he had a girlfriend.”

Abby blinked. “What?”

“She asked if he had a girlfriend, and he said yes.”

Even as her blood began to hum, Abby brought her brows together and considered the comment. “Do you think he has a girlfriend back in Springfield?”

“I believe he was referring to you.”

The thrill that traveled up Abby’s spine made absolutely no sense. She took a gulp of the steaming coffee, relishing the burn against her throat that brought her back to reality. “He’s mistaken.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Humor me.” Nell sat back in her chair. “Spell it out.”

Though there was no one seated nearby, Abby lowered her voice. “There can never be anything between Jonah and me. I know what kind of man he is deep down.”

Something flickered in the depths of Nell’s ice-blue eyes. “One mistake. Made years ago.”

“It speaks to character.” Abby lifted her chin. “What’s that saying? When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

“Let me make sure I understand.” A tiny muscle in Nell’s jaw jumped. “You’re saying that a decision made years ago, a path chosen—even if regretted—makes up the sum of that person’s character.”

The bite underscoring Nell’s words surprised Abby. She could count on one hand the times she’d seen her friend show such intense emotion.

Abby hesitated, feeling the ground shifting beneath her feet. But darn it, she was right about this. “He wanted to kill Eva Grace.”

Nell took another bite of french toast, then dabbed a bit of cherry from the corner of her mouth. “You told me the doctor had painted a bleak picture of what the fetus’s life would look like.”

“It wasn’t a fetus.” Abby balled her hands into fists. “She was a baby. I’d felt her move.”

“To you, she was a baby.” Nell agreed. “But Jonah and his wife hadn’t had the experience of feeling her move. They had yet to bond with her in the way you already had. Doubtless, all they heard was the physician’s dire warning about a baby that didn’t yet seem real to them.”

“Maybe,” Abby grudgingly conceded.

“From what you describe, Jonah had a wife on the verge of a nervous breakdown. No way would she be able to cope with a severely handicapped child.”

“So you just kill it?”

“There are many people who believe terminating a pregnancy under these circumstances is the humane choice.”

“Is that what you believe?”

“I don’t have a horse in this race.” Nell’s gaze turned to the blue jay. But the faraway look in her eyes told Abby she didn’t see the bird. “I can tell you that life is rarely as black and white as you’re making it. There are events in my life that I would go back in a heartbeat and change if I could.”

The pain in Nell’s voice had Abby’s brows winging upward. She didn’t know a lot about her friend’s background, but from what Nell had shared, it had sounded like a normal childhood and upbringing.

Abby wasn’t sure how to respond. She didn’t want to pry into Nell’s past, especially if the events were painful. “If you ever want to talk about it, know that I would keep your confidence.”

Nell’s lips lifted in a humorless smile. “Are you sure you want to know? I’m afraid once you did, you might find my character lacking.”

Jerking back, Abby simply stared, hurt welling up inside her. “I would never—”

“You’ve done it to Jonah.” Nell blew out a harsh breath. “I’m not proud of some of the choices I’ve made. Like I said, if I could go back and choose differently, I would. I can’t.”

It suddenly struck Abby that this discussion might be hitting too close to home for Nell. Was her friend haunted by a pregnancy termination? Had she kept that information from her because of Abby’s past situation?

Abby took a breath and let it out. “If you had an abortion, I want you to know that won’t affect our friendship.”

“Abortion?” Nell looked too startled to be faking. “No. No. Nothing like that.”

“Then what?”

Nell studied her for a long moment. “Some things are better kept to oneself.”

Abby’s heart sank. “Because you think I’m judgmental.”

Her friend’s expression softened. “I think you’re one of the nicest, most loving people I’ve ever known. But I choose to believe a person’s character is made up of a variety of behaviors and attitudes. A single decision, or perhaps multiple decisions over a certain span of time, doesn’t make that person good or bad.”

“Maybe,” Abby grudgingly conceded. “But decisions made when it really counts tell us a person’s character.”

“You were deep in the situation, so I know it’s hard for you to step back and look at it objectively.”

Abby could tell where Nell was going with this, and it was the wrong direction. “We’re going to have to agree to disagree on—”

“You’re judging Jonah when you don’t know everything that went into his decision.”

“Why are you on his side?” Abby cried out in frustration. “I thought you were my friend.”

She’d spoken so loudly several people at a table across the terrace turned to stare. But Abby was too hurt to care.

As if sensing her distress, Nell spoke softly in a soothing tone. “You like him.”

Reluctantly, Abby nodded. “But I refuse to make excuses just so things can be the way they once were.”

“Things will never be the way they once were.” A sad smile lifted Nell’s lips. “Not for me. Not for you. Not for him. That doesn’t mean it can’t be different, perhaps even better.”

Abby’s doubt must have shown on her face because Nell smiled. “All I’m saying is perhaps it’s time you and Jonah discuss everything that went into his decision back then. After you’ve talked it out, then you can decide how the two of you can move forward.”

The knee-jerk response was to tell Nell that she already knew everything there was to know about that time. But that would be a lie.

Nancy Rollins’s revelation about Veronica had taken Abby completely by surprise. She’d had no idea Jonah’s ex-wife—a woman she’d known—could be so vicious and vindictive.

Perhaps she didn’t know all that had gone into Jonah’s decision. She thought she knew, but they hadn’t ever revisited that time. Why? Because she was afraid that what she’d find out would put even more of a wedge between them.

As far as she was concerned, there was no reason he couldn’t have been there with her in the delivery room. She’d been so scared, so completely alone. The baby she’d carried had been his. After all they’d shared growing up, had it really been too much to ask him to be there for her?

He hadn’t even bothered to respond. Though she thought she’d moved on from that, the knowledge that he hadn’t cared enough to do even that still gnawed at her.

“You’re right.” Abby expelled a ragged breath. “I don’t know the whole story. But I’m afraid once I do, I might not be able to stand having him around.”

“Don’t worry about what’s going to happen once you know it all. There will be plenty of time to decide how to proceed.” Nell’s eyes warmed. “I have faith you’ll make the decision that’s right for you.”

“You mean that I’ll make the right decision.”

Nell shook her head. “The one that’s right for you. But this time you’ll make it from a position of maturity, knowing all the facts.”