Laney. Laney. Laney. She’s all I could think about. As soon as she was out of my mind, I would go to school and see her there. Haas’s campus was just not big enough. She seemed to be everywhere.

In our Competitive Strategy course, she still sat in the front row. Skipping that class was not an option.

Generally, to avoid Laney, I showed up to class at the last possible minute without being late. I sat in the back of class near the door for an easy escape when the class was over.

Troy sat in the far back left of the classroom right next to the door on that side. After every class, he seemed to run out of as soon as class was over without sticking around to talk to Laney. I wondered if he was going through the same Laney withdrawal as I was.

At the end of class, I practically sprinted out of the classroom. I saw Troy doing the same out of the other door. We regarded each other deferentially in the manner that all previous adversaries greet each other: a head nod.

Laney’s roommate, Marsha, stood behind a statue of Walter Haas. Marsha was nearly unrecognizable. When I’d seen her at Laney’s, she’d usually been dressed in yoga pants or LL Bean pullovers. She was in a skintight pink dress that made her breasts nearly spill over the top.

It was weird that she was on this side of campus since she was Pre-Med. I figured she must be meeting Laney for lunch or something, but when she saw Troy, she jumped back behind the statue. Once Troy had passed by her, she followed behind him, teetering on stiletto heels, but she kept far enough behind Troy he never noticed her.

Troy headed into the Haas Cafeteria, which was where I was going to grab lunch. After I got my turkey and cranberry sandwich, my favorite lunch special at our cafeteria, I quickly scanned the tables, hoping Laney wasn’t around. She wasn’t so I sat down to eat in peace.

A few tables over, I saw Troy with his friends, Max and Andy, two guys on the wrestling team. Max said something, making Troy and Andy crack up. If Brick House was a football player and we were on the same team, I wondered if we would have been friends. They all jumped up from the table at the same time with their cups in hand to go get refills.

Eating my sandwich, I watched as Marsha tottered over to their table. Quickly, she pulled out a small baggie of white powder and sprinkled it onto Troy’s food. As Troy and his buddies headed back from the drink machine, Marsha wobbled away before they could see her.

I had no idea what to make of what I’d just seen. I felt I was somewhat in the middle of a predicament. Troy and I were cordial, but we weren’t exactly best friends. How would he react if I told him that Laney’s roommate snuck up and sprinkled something in his food? It sounded crazy. He would think I was making it up to mess with him again. I decided to sit back and see what happened.

Troy and his friends sat back down and ate their food. And Troy ate his without noticing anything was wrong with it. By the time they were done with their lunch, Troy seemed fine. Troy and I were in the same Investments elective course, which was our next class, so I’d be able to check on him there.

I finished up my sandwich and headed over to our class. When I got there, Troy sat hunched over in his chair. His face didn’t exactly look sick, but he looked uncomfortable. He shifted several times in his chair with a stricken look on his face. After a few minutes of struggling to find a comfortable position, Troy jumped out of his chair, drenched in sweat.

I followed him out of the classroom to make sure he didn’t pass out in the hallway. When I turned the corner, I found Marsha was outside in the hallway, smiling at Troy, but he sped past without so much as a glance at her.

It seemed she wasn’t about to be ignored as she called out, “Are you okay?”

Troy looked back at her and shook his head swiftly. I stepped back into a doorway, flattening myself as best I could so neither of them would see me.

Marsha swayed toward him, reaching out her hand. “Do you need my help, Troy?”

Troy confessed, “Something’s wrong with me. Like I got a boner the size of Texas, and I have no idea why.” He adjusted himself in his pants. Looking uneasy.

Marsha giggled. “I can help you with that.”

Troy looked her up and down, considering her offer. Marsha took his hand, leading him to the men’s bathroom. He shrugged, allowing her to take the lead.

Marsha must have slipped him Viagra or Cialis in his food at lunch. I couldn’t let her get away with that. I walked into the bathroom, hearing Troy and Marsha’s moans and grunts. They were in one of the stalls.

It was an awkward moment, but I had to tell Troy what she’d done, so I called out, “Troy! I saw that girl pour white powder into your food at lunch.” Their moans and grunts stopped. “I think it must’ve been an erectile dysfunction medication. She drugged you, dude.”

“Did you put something in my food?” I heard Troy say.

Marsha stuttered, “I gave you something to loosen you up. To have fun.”

Troy exclaimed in disbelief, “What?”

Troy and Marsha spilled out of one the stalls. Marsha’s dress was pulled up to her waist. Her panties were at her ankles. I looked away as she pulled up her panties and pulled down her dress. “Troy, it’s not a big deal. Men take that stuff every day.”

Troy’s jaw clenched. “Marsha, you’ve been an absolute psycho since high school. It is a big deal. Men knowingly take Cialis every day, but you snuck it into my food. I think that’s a crime.”

I added, “I know it is.”

Marsha’s face crumpled as she began to cry. “Troy, why don’t you like me? Look at me! Why am I not good enough for you?”

Troy raised his arms up in disbelief. “Because you do crazy psycho shit like slip me drugs, Marsha! Shit, girl. What the hell is wrong with you?”

The echo in the bathroom made Marsha’s intensifying sobs into a cacophony of embarrassment. I grimaced at Troy and said, “I’m going to get out of your hair.”

As I turned to go, Troy said, “Jett, I could use your help. Do you mind taking her to the Dean’s office with me? You’re the only witness to what she did to me. And I can’t let her get away with this shit.”

I looked back at Troy and the blubbering girl next to him. What a mess. “Sure. I can do that.” It was the right thing to do after all.

We escorted Marsha to the fifth floor where Dean Lyons’s office was. She pleaded with us, “I’m sorry, Troy. Please don’t turn me in. I’ll lose my internship at UCSF Medical Center. They’ll figure out that’s where I swiped the erectile dysfunction drug.”

Troy looked at her sadly. “Marsha, you need help. That’s why I need to turn you in. It’s criminal what you did, and you don’t even see that.” Irritated, he added, “And I don’t need erectile dysfunction drugs if the girl isn’t batshit crazy.”

Marsha began to wail again. Her mascara streaked down her face, and her lipstick was smeared. She looked like Heath Ledger in Dark Knight. Only crazier. “No one is going to take you seriously. The Dean will laugh at you. I gave you Cialis. So what?” she cried.

I completely agreed with Troy. If a guy slipped drugs to a girl, it was undoubtedly a criminal act. I was sure that many people would think a girl sneaking a guy drugs to get a hard-on is hardly the same thing, but I believed it was. It was any person’s right to be in control of their bodies. I shuddered, thinking about Marsha as a doctor. We couldn’t let her get away with it.

Dean Lyons agreed to see us despite not having an appointment. He listened to our story with a serious look on his face as Marsha cried the entire time we were in the office.

In between sobs, she said to Troy, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I’ve been in love with you for so long.”

The room was silent after her confession. But Dean's face remained grim. "I'm going to contact the Chancellor. Marsha, your actions give me no choice but to recommend expulsion." Dean Lyons looked at Troy and me with a nod. "Thank you, Troy and Jett, for bringing this to my attention."

Troy and I left Marsha in Dean Lyons’s office. We could still hear her high-pitched sobs on our way out. “You okay, dude?” I pointed down. “Down there?”

Troy laughed. “Yup. It’s amazing how a crazy chick can instantly make a dude soft even if he is on meds.”

We both chucked loudly in the hallway. Our laughter bounced down the empty hall. Before we walked back to class, Troy stopped me, extending a hand. “Thank you, Jett.”

Troy looked sincere and grateful. I shook his hand. “No problem, Troy.”

We shook hands as friends, letting our old rivalry go.