Ethan
I'd decided to take two weeks off, and Frank and Deza respected it and backed me up with the studio, which was a bit of a surprise. We were behind and most likely over budget for the film, but without me coming back, there wouldn't be a film.
I would end up sued thanks to my contract if I didn't complete the filming, but I'd get it done. Eventually. After trying to text Riley daily for the first few days and getting nothing back, I stopped trying. There was only so much humility I could stomach.
I hadn't done anything wrong, and over the fourteen days of sitting in my house and stewing on everything, she had actually been in the wrong more than me.
Her and Clayton had something going on. The connection between them during that last scene we did was almost too much. Like she was a puppet on his string. That shit didn't happen overnight, and it certainly didn't happen without emotional connection underneath it all.
What did she feel for him? Was there a battle raging deep inside of her as to who she loved more - me or him?
The thought sickened me and made it a lot easier to stop trying to get her attention. It wasn't like my efforts were getting me anywhere anyway.
After laying in my bed for as long as I could manage, I got up and walked to the kitchen naked. My stomach growled, and I grabbed a box of cereal, eating right from the box.
It wouldn't be too long before Deza or Frank showed up and make me shower and get back on set, but until they did, I'd do what the fuck I'd been doing every day for the last few weeks.
I'd watch sappy love stories, eat until I was sick and cry because I was by myself and could.
"Which one are we watching today?" I set the box of cereal down and knelt in front of my flat screen TV, looking for the remote. I found it and dropped back on my ass. The Notebook came up, and I let out a sound of appreciation.
Nothing like Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams to fuck up my three-day no-tears streak. They were good at it. Any cute girl or heartbroken man knew that.
"Give it to me good, guys. Don't let up until I'm a puddle on the floor, alright?" I dropped down on the couch and picked up my cereal, leaning back and pulling a blanket over my lap.
Everything hurt from my depression, and I wasn't even sure the monster worked anymore. He'd been flaccid for fourteen days. It was a new record.
"Call Guinness, honey," I yelled out and chuckled, hating myself and everyone else.
The movie started, and I took my time eating the cereal, enjoying the love story. There was something so good, so right about falling in love, but that shit never panned out. Not even in the movies where screenwriters had the opportunity to force it to.
A knock at the door a little while later had me groaning. "What?" I called out like whoever was on the other side could actually hear me.
Standing, I let the blanket fall and reached for the remote, but my favorite part was coming. The part that always got me the most. I turned the volume up and echoed the lines as Ryan and Rachel spoke them.
"You're leaving, and I'm staying here. And I'm so happy that you're doing it. You're going to have a million things to do. You have so much ahead of you."
"Don't talk like that."
"It's true!"
The knock got louder, and I hit the pause button.
"What? Shit. Can't even jack off and watch a love story without interruptions." I pulled the door open, not caring who it was.
My brother glanced down at my junk and rolled his eyes, pushing me back into the house. "It's worse than I thought. I go away for a couple of weeks, and your whole damn life falls apart."
"I was making breakfast. There's some left on the coffee table if you're in." I shrugged and offered him a cocky smile that felt almost foreign on my face. "All I need is milk. Mine is coming out in thick chunks."
"Ugh. You're so gross." He pointed to the bedroom. "Go take a shower and get dressed. Deza called yesterday and said I needed to have you in San Diego."
"I'm not ready." I put my hands on my hips and glanced back at the TV screen. "Let me finish the-"
"No. Go get in the fucking shower." My brother's lack of humor was concerning. Nothing bothered him, but he seemed a little shaken.
"Fine. Shit." I turned and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me for good measure.
"And wash your hair." He pounded on the bathroom door.
"Sit on a dick and fuck off." I turned and leaned over, starting the water as emotion raged through me. I was beyond weary from thinking too much and maybe a little too much alone time, but I couldn't help it. Riley hadn't called, and nothing was resolved. Until that moment where I knew without a shadow of a doubt if we were moving forward or if we were over, I was stuck.
I needed resolution and the one good thing that had come from the last two weeks was that I knew without a doubt that I would accept whatever outcome. I might not be thrilled about it, but I'd figure it out. She would welcome me into her life as her man, and we could start building our dreams together, or she would reject me, and I'd call Jazz, buy a bottle of KY and get back to living.
The hot spray felt good against my skin, and I let out a long sigh and ducked my head under it as memories rolled through my mind, some of them so good it brought tears to my eyes.
Our first night together at my place. She'd wanted me to kiss her, hell, half-expected it from what I could tell. And I'd denied her. I smiled at the memory and held onto it.
"All right. I'm sorry for being a dick in the dressing room yesterday. I was wrong, and I shouldn't have said you were unprofessional." I slid my hands over her taut hips, her body so fucking hot it hurt. "It was me that was being unprofessional."
"We were both a little high on the scene we'd just wrapped up. Good art always stays with you, lingering in a way that leaves you edgy." Her eyes move down to my lips, and she lifted to her toes. Her movements were more than obvious, and yet I was trying hard to respect the professional relationship we were going to have.
I captured the sides of her face in hopes of controlling the situation a little better. She pressed toward me, but I shifted and pressed my lips to her forehead, breathing her in and falling in love a little bit. She was so damn perfect.
"As I said, we'll have each other's backs for the next few years, regardless of how pissy we get." I moved back and forced a smile. What a dick. Why hadn't I just kissed her? Right, because everyone expected me to be that guy. "You ready for dessert?"
Her expression fell, and I could see the hurt in her eyes even on the dimly lit porch. She righted herself quickly, nodding and giving me a tight smile. "Only if you have strawberries to go on it."
"Of course. Can you eat it any other way?" I laughed and turned, walking into the house as my stomach soured.
"Fuck." I paced around in the kitchen as my body ached for the girl outside on the patio. That she had lifted up to kiss me left me breathless, confused. I wasn't in a fucking movie. I was standing in real life faced with a hard decision. It was the type of situation that I kept myself out of, and always had. I never slept with my co-workers, never.
Some girl on the set, a pretty whore from the crowd, a slut from a fan club? Absolutely. But the beautiful woman that I would have to see every day for ten months? Never. Besides... what would she think when we got hot and heavy, and...
"And I didn't fit?" I pressed my hands to my face, growling softly as hard emotion ripped through me. I hadn't wanted a woman in years as badly as I wanted Riley.
"Hey! Hurry up in there. Deza needs you in San Diego by eleven. Let's go. Seriously. Scrub a fucking dub and make sure you clean your shit. You never know who you might meet." He laughed as I rolled my eyes.
It was good to have my brother there. Maybe he could help pull me out of my funk. I needed someone to. A ray of sunshine or fucking something.
My cock was fully erect as I glanced down, and a smile spread across my face. I reached down and stroked this huge thing. "There you are, boy. What the fuck? I think about Riley, and you decide to wake up from your hibernation?"
Another memory ran through my mind, her taking my dick so well, so much better than any other woman did, and my hormones raged to life, leaving me a little dizzy.
"Yeah. Let's stay here." I pressed my back against the cold tile wall and used both hands, working my shaft hard and fast as pleasure danced from my chest to my sack. I had to get her back. I was in love with her, completely lost to her, but there was another reason it was so damn important.
She could take me. All of me. Deep inside of her, and she didn't cry out in pain. She was the one woman that was obviously made for me. My soul mate.
My silly thinking was all I needed to throw myself over the edge into orgasm. I cried out, hitting my head on the wall as I shook violently.
The moment was needed so fucking bad. It woke me up, restarted my drive to get her, lifted the fog and made me desire another chance.
"You almost done?" Liam sounded pissy.
"Just jacking off for the first time in two weeks. Finish up that movie. I'll be out in an hour. I'm not letting this moment go too soon."
"Ugh. You're so gross."
"Yep. Just like my older brother." I turned toward the hot spray and dove into another memory, fucking myself for the next half hour until my legs wouldn't work.
I half-crawled out of the shower and dropped down on the toilet, water dripping off of me as I panted loudly. I assumed filming would begin again later that day, and Riley would be there. She had to.
She had a contract too.
The thought of seeing her left my heart racing, my body on edge. I had to have her as my own. Nothing else would do, no matter what neutral bullshit I kept chanting to myself.
There was only one woman for me.
Time to get her back.