Chapter 14: “Drop every fear.”

Kenny

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Mariska was bouncing with excitement when I finished with my last client. As soon as I’d said goodbye, she almost jumped over the bar. “You are so bad. Tell me everything, you naughty girl!”

I ducked under the counter, going behind the bar. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Liar. You know exactly what I’m talking about. And it starts with an S and ends with a T.”

“Wait... what? I thought you were going to say—”

“Slayde Bennett.” Her grin was smug, and I felt my cheeks get hot.

“What do you know? Or think you know.”

“I know what I heard Rook telling Tammy on the phone. Somebody was steaming up the men’s locker room this morning, and it wasn’t in the showers!”

Pulling her close, I pinched her arm. “Keep your voice down.”

“Ow!” She screamed. “You’re so damn violent. No wonder you’re into him. Anyway, I think it’s awesome. About time Rook got a dose of his own medicine.”

“It wasn’t like that.” Lifting the key lanyard over my head, I shoved it into my cubby. “Slayde was showing me some pointers, and it just sort of... escalated.”

“I’ll say! Are you meeting him tonight?”

Chewing my bottom lip, I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to share. It was all so new and tentative, and I wasn’t certain how he felt. Exactly.

“Oh my god, you are!” she shrieked.

“Shh!” I pinched her arm again, and again she squealed. “We’re meeting at the pier, and I don’t know. It’s possible something might happen.”

“Why are you lying to me?” She leaned back and crossed her arms, trying to act pouty even though she was bubbling over with excitement. “Your aura is burning red.”

“Would you be cool? Please?”

She swept her long, curly brown hair behind her shoulder, causing her bronze crescent-shaped necklace to shimmer. “I am always cool. Just because you can’t appreciate my gift of perception doesn’t mean I’m uncool.”

Crossing the small space, I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my cheek on her thin shoulder. “I’m sorry. You’re fantastic, and I love you. But Slayde is... delicate.”

“He is so far from delicate it’s hard to even quantify—”

“Okay, delicate is the wrong word.” Closing my eyes, I tried to picture what I meant. “He’s very... guarded.”

“Yes. That is the truth.” She nodded, holding my arm with her many-ringed fingers. “It took a week before he would even answer when I spoke to him.”

“So you understand, then.” I lifted my head and caught her pretty hazel eyes. “I’m trying to take it slow and not let him think too much about it. I don’t want him to run away.”

Her lips broke into a broad, white smile. I couldn’t help smiling back. Mariska was so pretty. “Are you saying you don’t see how crazy he is about you?”

Blinking down, I hated how my stupid cheeks blushed at the drop of a hat. “It’s not always like that when we’re together. He was very reluctant to get close.”

“Umm, not,” she laughed. “He told you no, what? One afternoon? And then less than twelve hours later, he was right here, exactly where you said you’d be.”

“It was a little more than twelve hours.” I stepped over to the blender. Her recipe book lay open, and I slid my fingers over her curly handwriting.

“Thirteen hours? That’s very lucky.”

It was impossible not to grin. “My point is, don’t be too vocal about it all yet. Give him a little space.”

Crossing her arms over the white tank she wore, her eyes narrowed. “You’re majorly serious about this guy.”

I couldn’t look up because I couldn’t argue. She’d see straight through my lie. Still, it all felt so fast. Then I remembered what Patrick had said about being open.

“More like I’m curious. He makes me feel things...” I didn’t want to finish that sentence. “I want to see what happens.”

She dropped her arms and stepped forward, catching my hands in hers. “I have an incredibly great feeling about this, and I’ll be as indifferent and apathetic as you need me to be.”

My brow relaxed, and I hopped forward to kiss her cheek. “Love you, girl.”

“I want so much good for you, hon. You deserve it.”

* * *

Shaving my legs for the third time, I sat on the edge of the tub and thought about my clothing options for the night. It was such a cliché, but I always felt more confident in my stilettos. I bought the cutest pair of brown leather ones with red patent-leather Mary Jane straps across the ankles last year.

My red chiffon dress had been begging to be worn since the day I bought it on sale at American Eagle with Mariska. She, by contrast, had picked out a circle-skirt in an amazing southwest-Indian print and worn it a dozen times already. Mine had been hanging in my closet untouched. It was short, flirty, and perfect.

Glancing at the clock, it was two hours until seven. Why hadn’t we set a time? I didn’t know what to do, so I decided to play with my hair. Sectioning it off into quarters, I took the top portion and teased it into an Amy Winehouse-style beehive. Okay, it wasn’t that big—more like one of those lumps Patrick would say were in Lane’s oatmeal. Still I felt a little of my edge restored with my bombshell hair, a small dose of confidence.

With a sigh, I saw it was still an hour until seven. Pulling out the curling iron, I sat on the sink and made loops in the length hanging down my back. After I had a nice cascade of curls, I put it aside and pulled out my black eyeliner. My knees were practically at my ears as I leaned forward and drew a dramatic line over my eyes. A little tweak at the corners, and I sat back. My blue eyes shone like crazy with all the drama, but it was too much. I reached down and pulled out my brush. A few swipes and the bulk of my mini-beehive was gone. My eyes were still drama, but I looked less like a hooker and more like a vixen.

It was seven. I didn’t know if that was the right time or not, but clearly I couldn’t stay in this apartment anymore. No telling what I’d look like when I met him.

Swinging my feet out of the sink and into my shoes, I leaned down and buckled the straps then I headed for the door. I hadn’t thought to slurp down a glass of wine in all my preparations—why hadn’t I done that? Now I was all nerves.

I was heading out into the night, moments away from facing the most gorgeous guy I’d ever seen possibly ever... okay, Patrick was pretty damn hot, but that was doomed from the start. This situation, on the other hand...

My insides were quaking when I pulled up to the pier. I couldn’t get out like this. I put the car in drive and headed to the nearest gas station. It was too well-lit, and a few tweens were hanging out on the curb holding skateboards and acting like punks. God, that used to be me.

Charging inside, I went straight to the refrigerated area and pulled out a four-pack of Woodbridge. It was fast and dirty, and I paid the cashier and charged back to my car. Not having a set meeting time, I felt slightly better about parking near the pier and twisting the top off a little bottle.

Trembling, I lifted it and slugged the whole thing at once. It was enough—I didn’t want to be juiced when I met up with him. I didn’t feel it just yet, but I hopped out, hit the automatic lock and threw my keys in my bag.

With every step, my limbs felt a little warmer, a little looser. He wasn’t at the pier, but at least I wasn’t shaking now. The pier posts extended above the wooden planks, and I leaned my cheek against one thinking about what had brought me here. All the events leading up to this moment, from my drive to Wilmington to my disastrous night with Mariska to meeting Slayde in the gym to last night to this morning...

“Hey.” His low voice snapped me out of my reflections. I turned and stood straight to face him, energy surging through my stomach.

He exhaled a low, “Wow.”

Suddenly self-conscious, I looked down, taking in the filmy red dress, my tall shoes. I was pretty fancy compared to him in the same faded jeans and a navy tee.

“I’ve been waiting for a reason to wear this,” I said, apologetically. “It’s been hanging in my closet forever.”

He was barefoot in the sand, but he stepped up onto the pier and quickly took both my hands. His eyes shone, and I could hardly look at them.

“Why do you do that?” He caught my chin and turned my face back to his. I could’ve gazed all night at his dark hair moving in the constant breeze, his square jaw shaded by the faint scruff of a beard, and that sexy line down his chin—if it hadn’t been for those ice-blue eyes.

My voice was quiet. “People always say I have beautiful eyes.”

“You do.” His answer was quick.

“But so do you. I look in them, and I feel like I can’t breathe.”

He stepped forward and cupped my cheek in one hand before closing his lips against mine. It was a gentle kiss. No tongue, but full of warmth. I felt his breath whisper across my cheek when he leaned back and looked straight into my soul.

“I’m so glad this dress was hanging in your closet forever. You’re beautiful.”

“You keep saying that,” I laughed, turning my face to the side. “You’re the beautiful one.”

“Come with me.” He pulled, and I stumbled after him. At the edge of the pier he stopped. “Sit.”

I followed orders, and his large, warm hands circled my ankles. “I love these shoes.” He turned my foot side to side. “God, I hate to do this.” In one quick motion, he slid the ankle strap down, and it was off. Then he did the same with the other. “Walk on the beach with me, but hang onto those. We might put them back on later.”

A little charge raced through my core at the prospect of how that might go. I didn’t have time to dwell on it because he pulled me to his side, and his muscled arm wrapped around me, holding me close as we walked north along the shoreline.

He looked forward into the breeze. “How is it possible I came here thinking I’d fade away, and I found you?”

Entranced by the sight of him holding me so close, I was sure he felt my heartbeat, and I found myself being utterly truthful. “I was so messed up. Everything about me was wrong until you appeared.”

“I don’t believe it.” A laugh was in his breath. He was so amazing, confident, determined, impenetrable, and yet vulnerable at the most unexpected times.

He stopped walking, and for the space of two heartbeats, I stood there, wrapped in his arms, his fingers laced with mine at my back, our mouths a breath apart. Then the breath was gone. He kissed me with so much emotion, my legs grew weak. Lips parted, tongues curled together, I struggled to get my hands out of his.

At first he wouldn’t release them, and feeling his strength, the sense of being trapped by him was intensely erotic. His grip loosened, and I pushed my arms around his neck. I loved the way he lifted me, holding my waist, our mouths never parting, only moving in time—open, closed, tasting—until he pulled back with a start.

“Shit! We’ve got to get back!” He lowered me quickly to the sand.

It was so unexpected I had to laugh. “What?”

“Come on.” He held my hand and took off fast in the direction we’d come.

“Slayde!” I couldn’t breathe as he picked up the pace. His legs were a bit longer than mine, and I was gasping before we were even halfway there.

He stopped abruptly, and I ran into him. “Oh!” I cried.

Catching my face, he kissed me fast on the mouth. “Hop on my back.”

He turned so his back was to me. Lifting my hand, I placed it on his corded shoulder. “I can honestly say I never expected this to happen.”

“Hurry, our dinner is on the line.”

With a little hop, I was on his back, shoes in one hand, both gripping him hard across the chest. He reached around and held me as he jogged up the shoreline in the direction we’d come.

My voice was bouncy and breathless, as I strained to hold on. “You’re so fit. We should make this part of our training regimen.”

Once we were within sight of his apartment, he lowered me and grabbed my hand again. We dashed over the boardwalk, across the parking lot to a dingy white door labeled 24-A. It wasn’t even locked.

“Welcome to my place.” He didn’t look back, running across an unbelievably small room with a curtain hanging around one corner, out a small back door.

While I waited, I looked around the space. The finish on the ancient wood floors was dull. An efficiency kitchen was in the corner opposite the curtain, and a two-seater table with two chairs was in front of it. On the table was a short, glass vase holding two red daisies and three big white lilies. Interesting.

Down from the kitchen was a door that led to what I assumed was the bathroom, since I didn’t see one anywhere else. The space where I stood must’ve been the living room—wait. Correction—he’d said the beach was his living room. I could see why.

Curious about the curtain, I stepped toward it and had only pulled it back a fraction when he was back inside.

“Checking out my crib?” I dropped my hand, and he laughed. “It’s not much, but at least it’s clean.”

I smiled and went to where he stood by the door. “It’s everything you need in one compact space.”

“I read in New York some micro-apartments are two hundred square feet. Total.”

“See? You’re practically in a mansion!” I laughed, and he wiped his forehead.

“I’m a sweaty mess.” He looked down as he wiped his palm on the back of his jeans. “And I only saved one of the steaks.”

The white tee he wore clung to his lined chest where the sweat dampened it, and I wanted to be back against that hard body so badly.

“We could go for a swim in your living room.”

He glanced around the studio. “I’m not following—”

“You said the beach was your living room.”

His eyes traveled quickly down my dress to my bare feet. My shoes were at the door. “Did you bring a swimsuit?”

“No.” The change in his expression made my pulse tick a little higher. “I could borrow one of your shirts, I guess.”

“My only clean ones are white.”

Stepping to him, I fluttered my fingers over his stomach, catching the edge of the shirt he wore. “That’s okay.”

“I’d better put our last steak in the microwave.”

* * *

The moon shone round and full over the water, touching the tips of the breakers in silver light. It was a gorgeous night, and the disappearance of the sun hadn’t caused the temperature to drop too much. Still, it was fall and the water was cold. I’d danced around the edge for several minutes before Slayde hoisted me over his shoulder and charged straight into the black waters, me laughing and squealing the whole way.

Now we drifted on the waves, my arms around his shoulders and his around my waist. The water was chilly, but I was warm against his skin in the too-big white tee that drifted up like a dress. My legs wrapped around his, and I tried to remember why I hadn’t removed my panties. Oh, because he hadn’t given me a chance. I laughed through my nose.

“What are you thinking about?” He smiled and leaned forward to kiss my neck, right at my ear. His touch made me shiver.

“All of this is so crazy and unexpected.”

His arms tightened around my waist, and his lips moved to my eyebrow. “You’ve made everything unexpected for me.”

Resting my palms flat on his shoulders, I looked into his blue eyes, clear in the moonlight. “You’ve made everything easy for me. Before it was all confusing and frustrating.”

“Why frustrating?” His eyes traveled over my face.

Thinking about my answer, I focused on his mouth. “I needed to change how I was living, but I was afraid. I didn’t know if it would be too hard or if I’d make another mistake... so I didn’t do anything. Until you.”

“Stand up,” he whispered. He’d been walking toward the shore, and I hadn’t noticed until I lowered my legs, and my feet touched sand.

The white shirt I wore was like a transparent second skin on my naked body, and I saw his eyes darken as I stood facing him. Lust trembled in my chest as his warm hands cupped my hips then trailed up past my waist, higher to my ribcage. His eyes burned into mine as his thumbs followed a line toward my heart, stopping when they reached my hardened nipples. My brow collapsed as he circled them, teasing me, flooding my already wet panties with heat.

The muscle in his jaw moved, and his voice was a throaty whisper. “Being with you is incredibly easy. Whether it’s a mistake, I guess we have to wait and see. I’d like to think it’s not.”

My body swayed with the movement of his thumbs over my breasts. “I want you to kiss me.”

In one swift movement, his mouth covered mine. An ache of longing moaned from my throat into his, and he pulled my bottom lip between his teeth. Wrapped in his arms, tight against his firm chest, heat shimmered under my skin.

He whispered over my lashes as he pressed his lips to my forehead, the scruff of his beard roughing my skin. “I’ve dreamed of holding you this way since that first night. I hated myself for it because you’d been hurt—”

“You kept me from being hurt.” My voice was breathless with desire.

His lips moved back to my cheek, down to my jaw. “You’re so beautiful standing here in the moonlight.”

Dropping to his knees, cool air flooded where the warmth of his body had been. Strong hands moved to my waist, one holding my side, the other flat against my lower back as full lips kissed my stomach through the damp shirt. His mouth moved to my hip, and I felt my legs start to tremble.

“Slayde,” I whispered, barely staying on my feet. It had been so long since I’d been touched this way, I wasn’t sure how much I could bear.

So fast I hardly noticed, he hooked his fingers in the side of my panties and pulled down. They were off as a deep groan left his throat. The hand on my lower back held me steady as he kissed the skin just above my clit.

“Oh, god,” I gasped, threading my fingers into the sides of his hair as his tongue slid between my folds. My whole body shook as he kissed me intimately, his tongue moving full and slow, the scuff of his beard teasing my skin.

“I don’t think I can stand,” I panted, but he didn’t stop.

My toes curled in the sand as he passed over and over my sensitive bud. Unbearable heat coursed through my thighs. My mouth was open and my eyes closed as tiny sparks fired through the arches of my feet. A high-pitched moan filled my ears, and I realized I was making the sound.

Rising on my tiptoes, I almost lifted off when two thick digits roughly invaded my core. Twisting and curling, he massaged the building ache inside me, until all at once, every muscle in my body squeezed unbearably tight and then... exploded.

“Slayde!” I cried, riding the orgasm out on his hand. “Oh, god, don’t stop!”

He didn’t stop. His mouth flooded me with pleasure as his fingers worked me until I couldn’t bear it any more. “Oh! Stop now,” I laughed, pushing his shoulders and dropping my head forward.

Smiling eyes blinked up at me, and with a grin, his warm lips traveled to the crease in my legs, licking the soft skin there, shooting another tickling aftershock straight to my core. My palms were flat against his cheeks, and he kissed his way back up my belly, pausing to circle his tongue around my tight nipple, until he was back to standing.

Weak from my incredible high, I held his arms. His eyes were on my breasts, and once again his palms rose to cup them, thumbs circling my tight nipples.

“I haven’t even gotten to these yet.” A ravenous tone was in his voice, sending shimmers of pleasure down my body.

“I haven’t gotten to any of you.” After that sample, I was aching to welcome the hard rod now pressing against my stomach.

He moved one hand up to my face, holding my chin against his palm, his long fingers wrapping around my neck and beside my ear. Tilting my face upward, his eyes traveled from my parted lips, up along the line of my hair before stopping at my eyes. It was such an intensely possessive gesture, and strangely, it didn’t bother me at all. I liked him claiming me.

“Are you hungry?” My mind flew through a thousand ways to answer that question, but he didn’t wait. “Let me take you back to my apartment and feed you.”

Nodding, I held his shoulders. “Okay.” 

He scooped up my panties and shoved them in his pocket, still holding my hands. His shirt hung to the tops of my thighs, so technically, I was covered. But every step massaged my lower lips, and I ached with longing for him to fill me completely.

Back in his small apartment, he left me standing in the middle of the space while he stepped through the door that was a bathroom. Emerging, he had a thick, white towel in his hand. “I only have one, but it’s really large. Wrap it around yourself.”

I reached down and lifted the wet shirt off my body, so I stood completely nude before him.

The towel dropped from his hands as he hissed in a breath. “Damn, Kenny.”

I moved two steps so I could unfasten the button on his tented shorts. His eyes rolled shut as my hand slid down the length of his cock. It was thick and long, and I shivered with wanting it inside me. Dropping to my knees, I licked my tongue over the mushroom-tip, tracing a line around the edge before pulling it into my mouth.

“Fuck.” He groaned, lightly touching my cheek with his fingertips. My head bobbed quickly as I massaged the base, sucking and drawing him to the edge.

His voice was a ragged whisper. “Fuck, fuck, stop!”

He caught me under the arms and swept me to my feet, guiding me to the curtain and past it, onto the bed. A crinkle of foil and he was back over me, shoving my thighs apart and driving himself deep into me.

“Oh, god!” I gasped, the sound mixing with his muttered swear.

More than two years had passed since I’d been here, and the sensation of fullness, of his hard length rocking into me over and over awakened a hunger I didn’t even know existed. I’d been starving.

Strong arms were on either side of my face, and my wrists were above my head in his tight grip. I struggled to free them, but he didn’t release me. He used them to leverage his ripped body just above me as his hips slammed into me repeatedly, shooting wave upon wave of burning pleasure down my legs and into my torso. The sensation of being trapped heightened all my responses. I wanted to hold him, but I could only do it with my thighs. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I arched my back and bucked my hips, meeting his thrusts, driving him deeper into my core. The sensation was mind-blowing.

My orgasm broke, shaking through me violently. I cried out, and a low growl rumbled at the base of his throat. I recognized it as the noise he’d made that day at the gym when he’d unleashed the nonstop volley of punches, only this time it was his hips rocking into mine.

“Kenny, oh fuck,” The sexy groan shook from his throat. He flexed, and I felt him jerk inside me as he came. Another groan and his grip on my wrists tightened. He thrust two more times before holding the last, dropping his head against my collarbone.

We were both breathing so fast, and my entire body was weak. He still held my wrists firmly in his fists above my head on the mattress. I wanted to touch him, to hold him, and I struggled, pulling down before he seemed to realize.

“Sorry,” he breathed, releasing me. At once, my arms were around him, pulling his face to mine as I consumed that sexy mouth in a ravenous kiss. He kissed me back, equally hungry, equally spent, breaking away to kiss my ear as he panted into my hair. “I’m sorry I wasn’t more gentle. It’s been a while.”

Smoothing my palms down his lined back, I inhaled deeply. “Don’t tell me that or I might play hard to get.” His body rippled with a laugh, and I softly added. “It’s been a while for me, too.”

His lips pressed against my neck, trailing a line up to my jaw before he lifted up and found my eyes. “Stay right here, and I’ll bring you what’s left of dinner.”

Rising quickly, he turned his back so fast, I barely had time to check out the ink on the front of his torso. On the back were those dramatic wings pointing down to a perfectly tight ass. He disposed of the condom and pulled on dark boxer briefs and a thin wife-beater before heading out to his small kitchen.

“I hope you like your steak well-done,” he called, and I heard the sound of plates clanking.

I shifted up in the bed, fluffing the pillows and raking my fingers through my crazy hair. My stomach let out a low rumble, and I smiled. “I’m pretty sure I’ll like anything right now.”

The noise of drawers opening and closing met my ears and then I heard his footsteps on the squeaky wood floor heading back in my direction. “Good, because I nearly burned up both of them.”

When he came around the curtain, I couldn’t help a sharp intake of breath. His dark hair was messy from the beach, and those blue eyes glowed. His lips were slightly parted, revealing his straight, white teeth, and his square chin with the little line down the middle almost killed me. Top it all off, he was holding a plate with a steak and two mountains of vegetables in one hand, and a bottle of wine and two cheap glasses in the other.

“I’m trying to think of anything more sexy right now,” I sighed.

He laughed. “You’re hungry.”

Placing everything on the side table, he climbed onto the bed, and I sat up with the sheet clutched under my arms. Glancing at my predicament, he hopped up again. “Not that I’m happy about this or anything, but I have one clean shirt left you can wear.”

Biting my bottom lip, I smiled as he returned with another white tank. Taking it from him, I slipped it over my head, letting the sheet fall to my lap in the process.

He breathed an Mmm, at the brief glimpse I knew he got of my naked torso, and a little thrill moved through my stomach.

“You are the model of traveling light,” I said, teasing him.

“If you ever lose everything, which I don’t recommend, you’ll find there’s very little you actually need.”

Curiosity gnawed at me. I had so many questions for him. I wanted to know everything about him.

“Mariska would be very pleased with your ‘mental maturity’ as she likes to call it.” He cut a small square of steak and held it on the fork in front of my lips. I quickly leaned forward and ate it. The savory velvety texture of good steak filled my mouth, and I let out a little groan. “Delicious.”

He smiled, looking back to the plate and cutting another piece. “I like Mariska. She’s funny.”

“She says you’re a biter.”

His brow creased. “Biting’s illegal. You can lose your license for that.”

“I’m pretty sure she meant outside the ring.”

“In that case, it depends on the bitee. You’re pretty tasty.”

Covering my mouth, I laughed. “She’s also my best friend.”

On the plate were asparagus spears and mixed vegetables. He stabbed a large forkful of them and shoved it in his mouth. Watching his square jaw move, I couldn’t help wanting to touch it.

Leaning forward, he poured us each a glass of red wine. “How’d you two meet? At the gym?”

“Actually...” I started before pausing to eat the new bite of steak he held out to me. “We met in art class. At Ocean County College.”

His eyebrows rose briefly before he shoved another large forkful of vegetables into his mouth.

I couldn’t take it any more. “Are you a vegetarian? Vegan?”

“Why would you think that?” His brow lined, and I realized what he was doing. He was giving me all of the steak.

Another giant wave of emotion hit me, but I tried to cover, grabbing the fork from his hand. “Stop hogging the vegetables! The rest are mine. You eat the steak.”

His eyes caught, and I knew he understood. I’d busted him. I also wondered how much he had spent on this special dinner we’d almost ruined making out on the beach.

I shoved a huge forkful of vegetables into my mouth before continuing. “Those flowers on the table are so beautiful. I almost wish we were eating out there.”

“Thought you’d like those,” he said, taking a big bite of steak off the fork I now held to his lips.

“You were wrong. I love them.”

We were at the end of dinner, and I scraped the last of the vegetables together with the last bite of steak and held it to his mouth.

“You have it,” he said with a smile.

“No way!” I cried. “I don’t have half the muscle mass you do. I’ll look like a pig on Monday.”

He breathed a laugh and took the bite. My nose wrinkled as I leaned forward to kiss his full mouth.

“Have dinner with me tomorrow night,” I said. “My place. I want to cook for you now.”

That gorgeous smile softened his expression, and he nodded. “Okay.”