Chapter 34: “With brave wings she flies.”

Kenny

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All of my family was in Bayville for our annual Thanksgiving gathering. Lane was in heaven playing with his cousins. They were out in the yard throwing the football and running back and forth. I watched them for a little while, a sad smile on my lips.

My hand had only swollen a tiny bit, and no one had even noticed. The pain had receded by the day after, and tomorrow I wouldn’t even be able to tell anything had happened to me physically. Emotionally, I was struggling. I’d used everything Slayde had taught me to save someone—just like he’d saved me. I’d fought that burning anger to finish my attacker—the way he’d fought it for me. I felt how strong it was. The thought twisted that old pain in my stomach.

Laughter met me from the family room, and I wanted to be alone. I wanted to walk down to the pier and look out across the ocean in the direction he might be. A few words with my mom, and I sneaked away to my car to make the short drive to the water.

Being the end of November, the air was much cooler. I only wore a light sweater over my orange tunic and leggings, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay long or I’d catch a chill. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out to see Patrick’s reply to my earlier text. I’d sent him a picture of Lane sneaking pieces of turkey when my mom wasn’t watching.

That’s my boy. Born troublemaker. He texted back.

More like that’s your boy charming the pants off all his female relatives.

You can’t fight genetics.

I giggled at the memory of Lane burying his little head in my aunt Patty’s bosom and telling her she was “good to eat.” Watch how you talk to Elaine when he’s in the room. He repeats everything.

The noise of a wave caused me to glance up at the horizon. We’d had a series of bad storms the last few days, and everything was still grey and swirling as a result. The shoreline was brown and trashy with seaweed.

Patrick replied, He’s a freakin little ninja. I look up and he’s there listening.

He called my mom ‘heaven on heels.’

It’s better than ‘hell on wheels.’

That made me laugh. True. Will call later. Lane misses you, and I want to hear about Stuart.

OK. Talk soon.

I shoved my phone back into my pocket and walked slowly down the length of the boardwalk. I tried so hard not to remember our last time here, the finger paint.

Doc had said the boat still hadn’t arrived in port. He’d called the shipping lines, and they were scheduled to arrive a week ago. He got no explanation for the delay, and I couldn’t help being afraid. What if something happened to him? Could I survive if he never came back? If the things I’d said, the angry words I’d shouted at him as I beat him with my fists...

Oh, God, those couldn’t be my last word to him.

The pier posts were as tall as me, and I counted them as I walked. One... two... three... “Please come back to me,” I whispered, feeling like a child plucking petals from a daisy. Four... five... six... “This missing... makes me sick.”

Seven... eight...

With a sigh, I stopped at the last post and leaned my forehead against it. I was out of rhymes. My heart was broken, and even having Lane here with me didn’t stop the hole in my chest from growing larger every day.

Turning my cheek to the damp wood, I closed my eyes and imagined it was him. He was standing here with me, his firm chest against my face. I spread my fingers against the post. “Slayde,” I whispered. “Won’t you please come back?”

“That depends.” The familiar voice made my eyes fly open.

I wasn’t sure I believed them. I wasn’t sure I wasn’t dreaming. He stood there in the same dark jeans and white tee, only now a long-sleeved red flannel shirt was on top. He was bigger somehow than the last time I’d seen him. His dark hair was longer, shaggy, and his beard fuller. One thing was the same—his pale blue eyes seared into me with an intensity that stole my breath.

Trying to calm myself, I asked the follow-up question. “Depends on what?”

“If there’s anything for me to come back to.”

I looked down. I couldn’t answer that yet. “When did you get in?”

“Last night.” He waited, watching me. I waited, unsure. “Doc’s at my place.”

I nodded. “He showed up a few weeks ago. Said you told him he could stay there.”

“He certainly can. I just wish I’d known he was here when I crawled into my bed in the dark.” He smiled that sexy, heartbreaking smile.

A gust of wind pushed my hair forward into my face, and I was glad because it hid the tears forming in my eyes. I reached up and caught the flying strands, holding them back and together in a fist at my neck. He only stood there, drinking me in as I did him. The sight of him was an image I could feel in my bones.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.” He spoke quietly, trailing his eyes up my body. “You look... so good.”

“You look... different.” His brow lined, and I continued. “Bigger. Stronger, I guess—from working on the boat?”

“They worked me pretty hard, but it was good. Honest.”

“I can’t believe you left on a boat—I mean, you said you never would. You don’t swim.”

“Mariska is a fortune teller after all.”

Smiling, I blinked down. “Don’t tell her that.”

In two steps he closed the distance between us. He only hesitated a moment before taking my face in his hands. “The entire time I was gone, I could only think of you. Every minute I was away. I tried not to, but it was pointless. I’d close my eyes, and you were there, waiting for me in my dreams.”

His mouth hovered a breath above mine, and my lips throbbed with anticipation—but he pulled back. He lowered to one knee then dropped the other until he was on both in front of me. I tried to stop him, but he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me so tightly, resting his cheek against my stomach. His face pointed down, and I carefully slid my fingers into his soft hair as tears burned my eyes.

“I can’t change the fact that I put that tear in your hand.” His voice was rough. “I broke your heart, and I don’t deserve to have you or even to ask this. But if you could find some way to forgive me... I’d spend the rest of my life making sure you made the right decision. Please forgive me, Kenny. Please.”

My heart ached for him as thoroughly as my entire body longed for him. “I have to forgive you,” I said through the thickness in my throat. “I can’t live without you.”

He sat back on his heels and looked up at me. It was more than I could bear. I dropped to my knees in front of him, reaching for his cheeks. I kissed him with all the pain and longing that had consumed me since that horrible night, and without hesitation, he gathered me in his arms and stood, holding me in a breathlessly firm embrace just like before.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to laugh and cry and hold him and never let go. He was here, holding me, kissing me in a way I’d only dreamed of for so long. He was asking me to forgive him. He was asking me for everything.

Pulling myself together, I leaned back. “It’s true. You put the tear in my hand.” He watched as I took his right hand and spread it open. Then I lifted mine and pressed our palms together. “You’re also the one who turned it into a heart.”

His fingers curled through mine, sealing our connection where the little hearts mirrored each other. His brow lined, and his voice was low.

“I told myself I didn’t need love. I didn’t deserve it. That that part of my life was over—just like so many other parts. I was resigned not to look for it or even expect it. Then out of nowhere you appeared. You needed me, and I helped you.” He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine briefly, his warm breath flowing over my cheeks as he spoke. “The thing that had ended my life, my ability to fight, saved yours. You gave my worthless life meaning, and when you looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes... I might as well have carved out my heart and handed it to you. You owned me from that moment forward.”

Sliding his fingers into the hair behind my neck, he claimed my lips again. Mouths opened, our tongues met as a little noise ached from my throat. His arm went around my waist, and I was off my feet, holding him, chasing his mouth in a hungry, desperate kiss.

We moved together as desire and happiness flooded my body. Nothing could change the fact that I loved him, too. Wholly, entirely, and with everything in me.

Breaking away for air, I lifted my chin to look up at the grey sky overhead. He lowered me to my feet, and our eyes met again as he slid a hand between us, capturing my jaw in his palm. “I’m glad Doc’s here, and I wish he were gone.” Confusion lined my face, and he smiled. “I want to make love to you. Now.”

Glancing around, I noticed a couple walking down the shore and cursed their hideous timing. Looking back, I ran my finger down that line in his chin. “Lane’s with my mom. I need to get back and check on him.” The frustration in his expression mirrored mine. “Come to my place tonight. I’ll ask Mom to keep Lane for me, and I’ll feed you turkey, fresh cranberries, and you can tell me all about life at sea.”

“After we catch up with life on land.” His gaze was so intense, heat flared between my thighs.

“Tonight.” I stepped forward cupping his cheeks in my palms, kissing his warm lips. His elbows bent, and he crushed me to him again as our mouths opened and he kissed me deeper.

His lips traced a line from my cheek to my jaw the up to my ear. “I won’t be late.”

It had been so long, and I wanted him so badly, I couldn’t bear to leave. I stepped forward and held him against me, my arms around his neck, his around my waist. We didn’t move as our hearts beat together, our bodies again melting together. With my eyes closed, it was as if we were suspended in time.

“I can’t wait.”