After grabbing a quick bite to eat for dinner, we’re headed home. Nice part of having an old truck is that Scarlett’s able to ride next to me on the bench seat. My heater’s not the best, the fall evening is cool and Scarlett wants to be warm. Fine by me. My arm’s around her, her head is on my shoulder and every inch of her is squeezed tight to every inch of me. There’s a flame that’s been lit inside me, creating a smoldering fire.
At first, she had placed her hand on my thigh. Just laid flat. That alone got my mind buzzing. So then I fantasized about kissing her and how I’d love to have more time alone with her, and my fingers began brushing along her arm. Sometime later, can’t remember when because the blood had drained from my brain, she made slow and tempting circles on my leg.
Alone. I need to get to this girl alone. It’s become my single-most obsession. Scarlett in my bed, in my field, hell, the bed of this truck would work.
“Pull over!” Scarlett shouts, and I jump after the long, comfortable silence.
I hit the brakes and glance in my rearview mirror. Thankfully there isn’t anyone behind me, and I take the turn into the deserted parking area next to the low rock wall that had to be built back in the 1800s. Scarlett undoes her seatbelt, leans forward and looks through the windshield. “My parents have driven past this place hundreds of times, and we have never once stopped. No matter how many times I’ve asked.”
Funny, Gran stopped here almost every single time we drove by. Never occurred to me that anyone in our county hadn’t parked here at one point or another. We’re at the top of the highest hill of our county and below us are the twinkling lights of our hometown.
Our town has a county courthouse, a government building, a police station, a few two-story buildings, some fast food joints out on Massey Street and then the elementary, middle and high schools. Most people would turn their noses up at the sight, but for me it’s home.
Scarlett’s radiant as she looks upon the landscape. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is.”
She glances over at me and pushes my arm. “You weren’t even looking.”
“I like looking at what’s inside my truck more than what’s outside.”
Her eyes soften to the deep blue of the sea. She relaxes back into the seat and cuddles closer to me. “Do you think I’m stupid for wanting to strike out on my own? Do you think I should suck it up and let Dad pay for everything for the next four years before cutting ties?”
“Do you want to go to a business college?”
“No.”
“If he’s hurting you, then you leave. It’s that plain and simple.”
“There is nothing simple about leaving.”
“I wish my mom had left.”
Her hair brushes my shoulder as she turns her head to look at me. “What do you mean?”
I push forward rapidly in an attempt to ignore the memory of the screams. “My mom had a habit of dating guys that hurt her until one day the guy didn’t just hurt her, he killed her.”
“Oh my God, Jesse, that’s awful.”
“You knew she died.” Scarlett had left a note in my locker for me even though I had stopped talking to her by that point. I had continued to ignore Scarlett, but I had kept the note. It’s still in my room, in a box at the bottom of my dresser.
“But I thought she died in an accident. I had no idea she was murdered.”
Not many people do. “It happened out of state. Gran thought it would be easier for me if we didn’t share the details.” I can’t say she made the wrong decision. I consider telling Scarlett the truth—that Mom didn’t die that autumn, but had died that last summer while we were still friends, but that would bring on questions I don’t think I can answer.
“I’m so sorry,” she says.
“You do that a lot—apologize for things you don’t need to apologize for.”
She places her hand on my arm. “I hurt for you, and I don’t know what else to say.”
“I’m not telling you this so you’ll pity me. I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes she did. I don’t want you to put your hope in some guy who isn’t worth an ounce of your love. I know your dad hasn’t laid a hand on you, but he struck a blow to you every time he hit your mom. I can tell you want to forgive him. I can tell you’re hoping he’s changed, but I’m telling you that if you decide to strike out on your own after you graduate and he’s pissed, then I say he’s a bastard you need to leave behind. If he loves you, he’ll support you.
“If any guy, including me, gets in the way of your happiness, if he stands in the way of you reaching your dreams, if he can’t understand that harming someone is wrong, then walk away, Scarlett. It is that simple.”