I couldn’t concentrate. My eyes kept straying from my customers, seeking Reese out. Every time she moved, I forgot an order. Every time she spoke I dropped a glass or poured the wrong beer. I couldn’t get my head in the game today.

We’d worked two shifts together since the incident at the club, and she still wouldn’t talk to me. I hadn’t tried speaking to her either. We seemed pretty set on avoiding each other.

Across the room, her eyes met mine for a moment, before she jerked her head around. But it was long enough for me to see the anger still illuminated there. I sighed. My silence was because I didn’t understand how I’d managed to fuck things up with her so royally, in such a short space of time.

“You two are the biggest downers,” Jamison complained as we cleaned up the bar for the next day’s trading. He was right; we were.

“Sorry, I’m just tired, I think,” Reese said quietly.

Her voice cut through me, as it had all day. I closed my eyes, tossing my cloth in the sink. It had been a huge mistake to go to the club the other night, when I knew I needed to leave her alone. I’d made things so much worse. When I’d seen that guy grab her hips, I hadn’t even thought about it. I’d seen red; the jealousy streaking through me like a lightning bolt. When he’d leant in and kissed her, I’d wanted to kill him, right then and there with my bare hands, in front of three hundred witnesses.

I rubbed at my eyes, a headache beginning to pound behind them. This was the shift that would never end. Her presence engulfed me every minute—the slightest of touches as we both reached for a bottle, her perfume drifting around me, filling my nose. The tension between us was layered so thick, I could almost taste it, and the unnatural silence that descended over us was so awkward, it was the elephant in the room. It was too much, and I couldn’t take it a second longer.

I spun around to face Jamison. “I’m going to take off. Do you mind?”

The bar closed in half an hour, and I didn’t have to ask his permission; I outranked him. But he was a mate, and it was enough that Reese hated me right now. I didn’t need to add anyone else to the list.

My stomach dropped at the thought they might all want nothing to do with me once they found out anyway.

Jamison shook his head. “Go, we’re just counting down the clock.”

I grabbed my wallet and keys and left without saying goodbye to anyone. I felt Reese’s eyes burning holes in my back as I fled through the glass doors that led out to the racetrack.

Outside, the sun splashed oranges and pinks across the horizon. I breathed raggedly, letting the fresh air flood my lungs. Part of me was freed by every step I took away from Reese and the tension between us. But the other half of me craved her presence like a drug I couldn’t say no to. I’d never had more than a fleeting interest in anyone, yet something about her made me want more. Maybe it was solely because I couldn’t have her, but maybe not. Something deep in my gut told me it was just her. I wanted to find out, but I’d stuffed up any chance of that. There were so many things I’d do differently if I could go back. If I’d never met Mason. If I hadn’t been so fucking drunk and stupid.

I wandered down to the racetrack railing and leant on it, the edge cutting into my skin. I welcomed the sting. How had this all gotten so complicated? Her face, full of hurt and anger, burned in my memory. After I’d cut my hand on that damn glass, panic had coursed through me, fear for her making my blood run cold. Keeping her away from it and safe had been my only concern. My fear had come out as anger, though, and I’d yelled at her. Guilt swirled through my stomach. I hated myself for the way I’d acted. She had every right to hate me right now.

A horse galloped past me on a training run, but I barely registered its presence. I wanted to rewind the clock and go back to the day Reese had arrived at the bar. Go back to the fun flirtation we’d had going. The tension between us was tangible from the minute I’d laid eyes on her. I’d wanted her. And the fact she hadn’t been shy about pursuing what she wanted? Hot. Everything about her appealed to me. From her silky, almost-black hair to her deep brown eyes, her sassy attitude to her confidence. And there was something vulnerable about her that she tried to hide. She played her cards close to her chest, which only made me more intrigued. Then Mason had dropped his fucking bomb-shell and everything had gotten messed up.

I needed to leave her alone and get my personal shit together. I knew it, but I didn’t want to.

Frustrated, I pushed off the railing and headed for the back area of the racetrack. Holding my staff-swipe key up to a little black scanner, I waited for the light to blink green. The door lock sprang open, and I slipped through, making sure it locked behind me.

People bustled around, leading horses to stalls, loading others onto trailers to make their way back to their home stables. Some would stay a night or longer and leave when they’d completed their races.

“Low!”

I nodded in greeting to the trainer but tucked my head back down and moved past. People were talking. The bar crew’s concerns about my abrupt change in behaviour hadn’t gone unnoticed by the stable staff. I’d heard their whispered questions about me, asking where I’d been last week and if it had anything to do with ‘the new bar girl.’

I couldn’t remember ever going a week without flirting or chatting up customers at the bar. I’d stopped participating in conversations, and I don’t think I’d laughed since I’d been back from my week off. Normally I would have stopped to chat with almost everyone in the outer areas of the racecourse, asking them about whichever horse they had running. But I’d been on autopilot ever since I’d gotten that text.

I hadn’t even told Jamison, who’d been my best friend since I’d come back to Sydney years ago. I’d tried to find the words, tried to find a time to tell him, but something always stopped me. I didn’t want to worry him and burden him with problems I’d created for myself. My doctor had encouraged me to tell someone, to get myself a support team while we waited for news. But how did I even begin, when I could barely wrap my own head around it all? The doctor had been kind and patient, explaining the procedure in simple terms that my shell-shocked brain had still struggled to comprehend. After a while, he’d taken pity on me, handed over a stack of pamphlets, and told me to make an appointment with the specialist in three months.

My grandparents would freak out if they knew. They’d already lived through enough drama with my mother over the years. I couldn’t tell them I was just as bad, in my own way. Which only left Jamison to tell. But talking wasn’t going to help anything anyway. What was done was done.

I was alone in this.

The stables loomed ahead of me. They homed close to a hundred horses when the big races ran. I let myself into the quiet interior. The only noises, the soft whickering and snorting of the horses as I passed their stalls. The air was cool, and the light dim. No one had bothered to turn on the artificial lights yet, so only the last of the sunlight trickling through the windows lit the cavernous building.

My pace increased as I neared Lijah’s stall. She stuck her giant head over the top of the doors as I approached. My shoulders relaxed as I reached to touch her. “Hey, girl.” I spoke as if in church. Speaking any louder than quiet conversation was never a good idea around a lot of horses, but something about coming in here felt almost religious. It was a place my soul always felt at ease. My troubles were always a little lighter as I stroked the neck of a horse. I stepped close to the door, unlocking it to let Lijah out. She turned her head to nuzzle at my shirt pocket. The corners of my mouth lifted, and I was surprised to find I remembered how to smile. I pulled out one of the apples I’d swiped on my way in and gave it to her, smiling as she chewed through it with ease.

“You like those, huh, girl?” I smoothed my hand along her coat and leant in against her, resting my head on her mane. My confession tumbled from my lips. “I fucked things up this time, Lijah. And I have no idea how to fix it.” I let out a shaky breath. Her apple gone, Lijah stood still, letting me draw comfort from her. The tension across my shoulders eased. I needed comfort today.

The rattle of the lock as someone opened the stable door let me know I wasn’t alone. My breath hitched as that ever-present tension flared to life once more.

Reese.

I knew it before I looked up to confirm it. What was she doing out here? My heart raced, excitement coursing through me at her nearness, then dropped just as quick when I realised she’d spotted me and was trying to get back out the door.

I should let her go.

“You don’t have to go, Reese.” My mouth was clearly not taking commands from my brain today.

How was my voice so calm? On the inside, I was anything but.

I looked around for a brush, a comb, a feed bag—anything so I’d have something to do while she made her decision. She was still hovering in the doorway.

Stay. Just stay, Reese.

The words burned on my tongue, but I bit down to stop myself from voicing them. My brain yelled that I was an idiot, and I should go grab her hand, lace our fingers together, and lead her in from the door. Judging by how long she stood there for, she was as confused as I was.

“It’s okay. I didn’t realise you were here. I shouldn’t be back here anyway.” Her gaze darted around as if the horse police were going to jump out at any minute. Or maybe she just didn’t want to look at me.

“You can be back here if you’re with me. No one will stop you.” I went back to brushing Lijah’s coat, so my hands had something to do. She tossed her head, whinnying, probably sensing my nerves.

Reese would run, I could tell without even looking at her. Out here, in my quiet place, I felt different than I had for the past two weeks. I felt more like me. The me I wanted her to know.

“Please stay.” I forced the words from my lips. “Do you want to come meet Lijah?”