“Bianca, you’re staring at them.” I kept my voice low as I nudged her with my elbow.

She snapped her head back around and took a step closer, lowering her voice. “What do you think that was all about? It looked seriously heated.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know, but it isn’t our business and it’s bad enough all the customers are staring. Don’t make it worse.”

She pouted but went back to serving anyway. Taking my own advice, I turned away. It was hard to stop myself from shooting little glances at Low from the corner of my eye, though.

I’d recognised the guy Low was arguing with. He’d been the one Low had gone home with after my first shift. Part of me was amused that Low had had to face his one-night stand in the cold hard light of day. It wouldn’t kill him to be a little less cavalier about his conquests. But I did feel an ounce of pity for him too. It hadn’t happened yet, thank God, but it very easily could have been me, standing in his shoes. Low seemed to recover well, though, and had gone straight back to his next customer in line.

My phone buzzed in the pocket of my apron. I fought the urge to pull it out and cancel the call. It would stop in a minute if I ignored it. I just had to wait. After a moment it went still, as the call rang out. I had no voicemail for them to leave a message and I breathed a little sigh of relief.

The buzzing started up again and my heart sank. My phone had been doing this for three days now. Ringing every hour or two, the same familiar, landline number flashing up on the screen. I should have turned it off instead of just ignoring it, but something always stopped me from hitting the power button.

I knew who was on the other end and a big part of me longed to answer it. Every time it rang, a rush of memories cascaded over me. And every time I pushed them down, burying them where they couldn’t hurt me. I’d cancel his call before the fear and shame overtook me.

I’d been an idiot to ring him. I’d never thought for a second he might try to return my call. I’d assumed he’d think it was a wrong number and leave it at that. I’d been so in the moment of the race, I hadn’t even thought to turn off my caller ID. But now it was all I could think about. A whole different time and years of memories. A different life. Happiness and love and family. But in the next instant, the last time I’d seen him replayed in my head. The tears. The yelling. The hospital and the doctors. I’d spent a year blocking out those memories, turning to alcohol and sex when they became too much. Work and flirting with Low had been my only distraction for the past three days. But it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t sleeping, spending every night staring at the ceiling, half of me hoping the phone would ring, the other half praying it wouldn’t. I was tired. So damn tired, both mentally and physically. I needed something more than a mild distraction. I needed to just switch off completely.

It’d been weeks since I’d been with anyone, which was a long drought for me these days. I needed a drink, and I needed to get laid. I needed someone else’s hands to focus on. A night to lose myself in someone else’s touch, so I could forget my own problems. From experience, I knew going out for a few drinks and finding someone to take home for the night was about as much relief from my memories as I’d ever get.

I glanced at Low again. I could spend the rest of this shift taking a leaf out of his book, flirting, and maybe finding someone who’d want to go out for a drink afterwards. Or I could save both Low and myself the hassle. We wanted the same thing after all.

“Now who’s staring at him?” Bianca said behind me, startling me out of my thoughts.

“Was I?” I cringed. Of course I’d been staring.

Heat rose in my cheeks as Bianca smiled, looking like the cat that got the cream.

“You two have been mentally undressing each other all week.”

“What? We have not.”

“Fine, maybe not, but there’s something between you for sure. I’m getting burnt from the residual heat coming off the two of you. I think you’re crushing on him.”

“Who has a crush on me?” Low called from his side of the bar. He’d cleared his back log of gushing fans. I groaned. This wasn’t the way I’d envisioned this going.

“I can’t take you home, remember, Reese. Gotta respect the policy. So if it’s you, I’m sorry, but I’m unavailable.” His smirk was blatant, and I knew he didn’t mean a word he said.

“Lucky for you,” I quipped straight back, “because it’d be awful to see you crying at work when I didn’t call you the next day.” Despite my desire to get laid tonight, I couldn’t let his cocky attitude go unchecked. But it was a half-hearted rebuke.

Bianca choked on a laugh, busying herself at the till as a slow, almost predatory smile spread across Low’s face. The tension between us took on a subtle change. I knew he’d heard my conversation with Bianca, when his gaze became heated. He’d never been even close to professional with me, but it seemed now some invisible barrier between us had disintegrated.

He took three long steps, stopping just a few inches from me. His finger ran down the side of my face and circled beneath my chin, tilting it up so our gazes collided again. That tangible tension between us came to life like it had been electrified.

“That sounds like a challenge, pretty girl.” His eyes raked over my face and dropped to my lips. I ran my tongue over them. Deliberately. I needed this. I needed to make tonight happen.

The heat in his eyes intensified, and it was satisfying to see. I smiled as I leant towards him, my hand gentle on his bicep. “No challenge.” I wasn’t interested in playing hard to get anymore. I wanted him to know I was up for it as much as he was.

He moved closer and when he whispered, “Good to know” in my ear, I knew he’d understood my meaning. I ducked my head, a little smile playing at the corners of my mouth. Yeah, we were on the same page.

Riley dumped a load of clean glasses onto the bar behind me, and they clinked together in protest. “If you two are going to eye fuck, can you at least do it away from where I need to load the glasses? They’re heavy, you know.”

Low winked and moved back to his side of the bar where more than one woman was giving me a death look. I smiled sweetly at them.

There were a couple of men who flirted with me throughout the rest of the afternoon, and I smiled back but kept it professional. Low shot me looks from the corner of his eye when he thought I wasn’t looking and a little thrill skittered through me with every glance.

My phone buzzed again in my pocket, and this time, I pulled it out and turned it off. I felt sick as I held down the off button, shutting down my only remaining link to my past. Maybe he’d stop calling now. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted that or not.

The last race was at 5:00 p.m., and the crowd dispersed soon after. The women took off their high heels and carried them as they walked barefoot to the parking area. Men loosened their ties and slung suit jackets over their shoulders. Jamison decided I needed to know how to balance the till for the next day’s trading, and we left Low to break it to his crowd of women that the bar was closing. We were cutting off their alcohol source, and some of them weren’t taking that too well.

Bianca and I restocked the bar while laughing to ourselves over the tipsy whining of Low’s harem. There was a lot of “Come on, just one more drink,” and “Why don’t you come out with us after your shift?” A part of me almost envied those women. At eighteen, I’d been much too innocent and lacking in confidence to be so forward with a random bartender, no matter how gorgeous and charming he was. I wouldn’t have been able to speak under Low’s intense gaze.

Oh, how times changed. I hadn’t been that girl in over a year now. She was so far in my rear-view mirror I could no longer see her.

I missed her sometimes, though. I’d had a family once. And a future. They should have been memories that made me smile. But instead, I did everything in my power not to think about the past. Because every time I did, the gut-wrenching pain and loathing followed, threatening to overwhelm me. I could never go back to being her. I didn’t deserve to be her.

“Low, if you want to take off, Reese and I have this covered,” Bianca announced, inciting a cheer from the girls trying to convince Low to come out with them. I watched him, eager to hear his response.

Low shot Bianca a dirty look, to which Bianca replied with a shrug. “He’s never minded any other time I’ve told him to take off with a few girls,” she mumbled under her breath.

I smirked. I hoped that meant Low was planning to go home with someone else. Like me. I’d already thought about the night of wild sex we’d have. Hours upon hours of not thinking, just using his body as a tonic for mine. I closed my eyes and drew in a shaky breath. Yeah. I needed to lose myself in somebody else tonight.

“Sorry, ladies, but the track is closed, and I have work to do. You’re going to have to make your way to the exit now,” Low said, using his professional voice for the first time all day. There were a few last-minute whines before they dragged themselves away from the bar. I saw Low breathe a sigh of relief as he watched them stumble towards the exits. “Bloody hell, thank God for that.”

“You didn’t want to go partying with them, Low?” I asked, feigning sweet innocence.

Low shook his head. “Not tonight. Tonight, I have plans.”

“Oh yeah?” God, I hoped those plans involved me. And his tongue.

“Mmmm hmmm,” he said, the rumble of his voice deep and low and oh so hot. “But first, we drink.”

He grabbed a bottle of tequila from the top shelf of the bar and bellowed, “Riley, Jamison, Bianca. Shots on the bar in one minute.”

“Do you regularly steal the booze and get drunk on shift?” I asked as I looked around the empty racetrack.

“It’s 6:01 p.m., which means we’re off clock. Plus, it’s not stealing if you pay for it, and I’m buying.” Low lined up five glasses, pouring a shot of tequila into each.

Taking his cue, I grabbed the little container of cut up lemon wedges from the fridge. Then I grabbed a few salt packages from below the countertop. Riley, Bianca, and Jamison all filed over as they finished their tidying.

“Oh Jesus, Low, tequila again?” Bianca groaned. “You know that always ends badly.”

I guessed that was a yes to them regularly drinking after shift.

“It’s Reese’s first Friday night at the Lavender, B! That calls for tequila, don’t you think?”

Bianca looked at me. I shrugged and ripped off the top of a salt package. Bianca sighed in defeat as she ripped open her own salt. I ran my tongue along the back of my hand and poured out the grainy white powder, leaving a trail of salt stuck to my skin. When I looked up, Low was staring at me in fascination.

I made out like I was looking at my watch, waiting for him to catch up.

He laughed. “Sassy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was soft, so the others didn’t hear. They weren’t paying us any attention anyway, too busy laughing at Bianca’s hatred for tequila. Low handed out the small glasses of clear liquid, and we formed a circle.

“To Reese’s first week!” Low said, raising his glass in salute.

“To finally having a full team and not being run off our feet every shift,” Jamison chimed in.

“To having someone around who can put Low in his place.”

Low faked offence when we all laughed. Riley winked at me.

“To having another woman around to break up all this testosterone.” Bianca reached out and squeezed my arm. I smiled at her.

A warm glow spread along my skin that had nothing to do with the way I was standing close enough to Low to feel the heat radiating from him. The last few days had been good. I was looking forward to getting to know Riley and Jamison more. I already liked Bianca a lot. And Low, well, I figured I’d know him a lot better by morning.

My smile was wide as we clinked our little glasses together. I licked the salt from the back of my hand and swallowed the contents of my glass, feeling the liquid burn down my throat. I shoved my piece of lemon in my mouth, which took the edge off.

Across from me, Bianca’s eyes were watering as she sucked on her lemon. “Ugggghhh,” she groaned. “It never gets better.”

“Not true. The second one is always better,” Low said, tilting the tequila bottle in her direction.

She waved her hand at him, shaking her head. “Nope, no way. One is more than enough. I’ve got to drive.” Her gaze darted between Low and me before she turned to Riley and Jamison. “Come on, I’ll drive you guys home.”

Jamison and Riley looked bewildered as Bianca hustled them out the doors. “See you two tomorrow!” Bianca called, her sing-song voice echoing through the empty room. And just like that, the three of them disappeared, leaving Low and me in an empty racetrack bar.

He watched me, his eyes unashamed as they drifted over my body. “You gotta go too, Reese?”

Damn, his voice could bring a girl to her knees. I let my eyes drop to his crotch as I contemplated that possibility for a minute. Shaking my head, I reached for the tequila bottle. I didn’t need Dutch courage for what I knew would happen between us tonight. But it sure wouldn’t hurt.

Low took the bottle from me, placing it back on its spot on the shelf. He leant in close and lowered his mouth to my ear. The five o’clock shadow along his jaw scratched pleasantly at my cheek. “I want you sober for tonight. I don’t want you forgetting anything I plan to do to you.”

His words made me want to throw the whole damn tequila bottle in the bin. Sober or drunk, I didn’t care. I wanted him. If he wanted me sober, then so be it. I tilted my head to the side a little, an unspoken invitation for him to kiss me.

To my surprise, he pulled back. His eyes lost the fuzziness of lust I’d seen in them a second earlier. He was crystal clear and straight to the point when he spoke. “You know I go home with a lot of women, right? Men too, on occasion.”

He braced both hands on the bar top behind him and leant farther back, giving me even more space. “We’re both adults. We both know what this is. I have every intention of sleeping with you, even though I promised the others and myself I wouldn’t. But you need to know how it is. I’m not boyfriend material. I’m not interested in a relationship, and I don’t do repeats.”

He waited as I let his words sink in. He thought I’d run. Expected it even, judging by the wary look on his face.

“I won’t want you for more than one night, Low, no matter what you do to me tonight.”

That damn eyebrow quirked again. “Not as innocent as you look, are you, sweet girl?”

“I’m not particularly sweet either.”

Business side of the deal seemingly over, he nodded. “Fair enough.” His crystal blue eyes stared into mine for a long moment. I didn’t look away, letting him see the determination in my own eyes. I wondered how long it would take him to realise I was up for this. He didn’t need to pussyfoot around me.

I got sick of the stare-off first.

I grabbed my stack of Post-it notes from beside the till where they’d been sitting all week and threw them in my handbag. “Your place or mine?” I walked out the bar door and held it open on the other side, waiting for him to follow.

Low chuckled, and I thought I heard him mutter the word ‘impatient’ under his breath. He took the heavy wood door from me and pushed it back into place, locking it in. I sauntered off towards the main entrance, but then I felt more than heard his presence behind me. His arm shot out and grabbed my hand, pulling me to a stop. I spun around and found myself chest to chest with him. I had to tilt my head back to look up at his face.

“Not that way,” he said, his voice low and gravelly.

My stomach flip flopped as electricity sparked where his skin met mine.

His hand was warm, and I was surprised to find callouses across his palm. He didn’t have the skin of someone who worked inside all day, pouring drinks. I wondered what he did outside of work hours to rough his hands up like that.

“Where are we going?” I asked as we pushed through a door marked staff only. The door slammed shut behind me. I’d barely noted the rush of fresh air surrounding us before he spun around and dropped his lips to mine. I stopped breathing. My eyes closed as my lips parted. Blood rushed through my body as sensation exploded within me. My brain began switching off as his touch and his scent chased away my thoughts. Relief flooded me. All I needed to think about right now, all I wanted to think about, was him.

He walked us back against the door we’d just come out of and pressed me into it, his lips not once leaving mine. My breath caught up with me as he broke away from my mouth, trailing his lips along the corners, along my jaw, and down to my neck. The scruff on his jaw scratched at my face, adding another sensation to concentrate on.

His thigh moved between my legs and pressed against my already aching core. I bit back a moan. Yes. This was what I wanted. I didn’t even care we were in some service alley along the side of the racetrack, and that I could hear cars driving by on the road that couldn’t have been more than a hundred metres away. Pulling him closer, I pressed myself into him, as he trailed kisses down my neck.

“I want to take you back to my place, Reese, where I can lay you out and do this right,” he mumbled into my neck, his body fitted to mine like a glove. “But I can’t wait. I’ve wanted to do this all week. I want to fuck you right here in this alleyway.”

Sparks ignited in my centre at his crude words. He could have recited his grocery list in that voice and I would have been a puddle at his feet. This was too much.

“Do it.”

He groaned as he pressed his hips towards my own. He was already hard beneath his pants. I couldn’t help grinning. This is what I loved about sex. The ability to feel powerful and in control. To lose yourself in another human being for a while, to think of nothing but hands, and tongues, and pleasure.

“You’re impatient, aren’t you?”

I shook my head, no longer interested in talking. I just wanted to feel.

His hands cupped my breasts through my shirt, and I ran my hands through his hair, messing it up the same way I’d thought of doing the first day we’d met. His mouth was all over my neck and cleavage as his hands tugged and twisted at my aching nipples. I pressed my pelvis towards him, trying to hook one of my legs around his waist.

“Fuck,” I bit out, when my fitted skirt prevented me from doing it.

He ran his hands down my thighs and yanked my skirt up until it gathered around my waist. I glanced at the top of the alley, at the cars driving past, their headlights illuminating the darkness.

My knees buckled a little as I got my leg where I wanted it and felt the thickness of his cock pressed against my centre. My core ached for release as blood thrummed through my body. I brought my hands to his belt and pulled. I grinned. He wasn’t wearing any underwear, the tip of his cock already poking up above his waistband.

My eyes met his, and he shrugged. “I’ve been hard off and on all day, just thinking about this. Didn’t want to alarm the customers, so I tucked it away.”

“So thoughtful of you.” I laughed but cut myself off as his warm fingers grazed my inner thigh. Anticipation swept through me and I started up my fumbling with his button again.

He pulled aside the scrap of lace covering me and ran one finger through my wetness. My mission to undress him came to an abrupt halt as the sensation roared through me. Oh God, I needed more. I needed him in me.

With a new sense of urgency, I renewed my efforts to get his pants undone. I frowned when I noticed they were buzzing and vibrating.

With a sigh, Low removed his hand from my folds and reached back into his pocket, pulling out his phone.

I stumbled back a step, confusion and irritation replacing all the good feelings I’d been experiencing a minute earlier. “Are you seriously going to read your messages right now?” What the actual fuck?

“Hold on a second, baby,” he murmured, his eyes still full of lust. “It’s been buzzing this whole time we’ve been out here. I’m just going to make sure it’s not an emergency, then turn it off.”

I huffed out an impatient sigh, ignoring the fact he’d called me baby, and dropped my hands from his pants. I hated when a one-night stand talked like that. Terms of endearment were for couples who loved each other, not a couple of horny strangers fucking in a back alley. I tried to keep my annoyance from showing too much. But I was standing in the dark, with everything hanging out and on display for anyone to see. And he was checking his phone. What an asshole.

I grabbed the hand he wasn’t holding the phone with and pressed it to one of my breasts. He gave me a huge, shit-eating grin and pressed the home button on his phone. His thumb flicked absently over my nipple as he read his text message. I closed my eyes, leaning into the wall behind me again. He had thirty seconds to read that message and there had better be a mind-blowing orgasm at the end of it. I opened an eye when he stopped his fondling. He’d taken a large step back, his pants still half undone, his belt hanging open. He stared at his phone like he no longer knew what it was.

I let out another sigh, and his head snapped up. His face, lit up by the phone screen, looked blank. Not horny like it had a moment earlier. I stood up a little straighter, worry creeping in.

“I…I’ve got to go,” he said, stumbling back a few more steps. He gripped the back of his neck, his eyebrows drawing together in a frown.

“What?” I felt exposed. And frustrated. Every part of me still tingled. My skin was already mourning the loss of his touch, every nerve ending anticipating its return. Disappointment mixed with embarrassment threatened to take over. I needed this tonight. Had he gotten a better offer?

He shook his head, backing away as he tucked in his cock and did up his work pants. Leaving me standing there alone, tugging my skirt down.

“Are you serious right now?” I squeaked out.

He shook his head again, that mussed up hair I’d been running my fingers through moments earlier falling in his eye. He headed toward the top of the alleyway before breaking into a run.

My mouth dropped open. He was leaving. He was actually leaving me here alone in the alleyway. And not just walking away. He was running away from me. My face blazed with embarrassment.

“What the fuck, Low?” I yelled at his retreating form. I watched him until he rounded the corner out of the alleyway, but he never turned back. Not once.