It was time to pull up my big girl panties. Man or no man, Jason or no Jason, I was doing this. I’d wanted this my whole life, and nothing was going to stop me. My wave was here. I needed to paddle toward it.

Dean was so sweet. He’d wanted to come along. I knew this was something I had to do on my own. In the future, I’d be doing a lot of stuff alone. Better get used to it.

“Ms. MacIntyre,” the nurse called my name. The butterflies in my stomach resumed their dance as I walked to the exam room to start my family. I could do this.

The nurse took my weight, height, etc., just like at every visit. Pee in a cup, flush. That was always the height of my visits.

“All right, if you’ll just wait in here with your husband, the doctor will be in to speak with you both before the procedure,” she said very matter-of-factly, hand on the doorknob, throwing the door open before she hurried away.

“Oh, you’ve made a mistake. I…” But it was too late. She was long gone. I stepped one foot into the doctor’s office, nearly fainting. Well, actually fainting. Everything went gray then black. No air. No legs.

“Jesus, are you all right? Vivienne, wake up,” someone said, shaking me.

My eyes fluttered open. It couldn’t be. “Jason? What are you doing here?” I said into the most beautiful blue eyes I’d ever seen. He held me on his lap, his strong arms tight around my body. “What happened?”

“You fainted. Are you all right? You scared the shit out of me.”

“I was surprised to see you after what you said. I didn’t think you’d be here.” I shook my head to clear it. “Why are you here?” I asked, throat dry with emotion, still shocked to see him again.

“Vivienne, look, I need to apologize to you. There’s no excuse for my behavior. You explained what happened, and it made sense, but…I don’t know why I felt the need to attack you and say such bullshit. There’s no excuse for what I did and how I acted.”

My hand reached up to touch the days old scruff on his face. His earthy cologne surrounded me, making me sigh. He was sorry.

“I was extremely embarrassed that you saw where I grew up. You fucking saw me bring booze to my neglectful, alcoholic mother.” His arms tightened around me, jiggling my body. “Do you know what that did to me?” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “To know you saw that? Perfect, wonderful, privileged you? It killed me to hear you saw the trash I came from.” He reached over, holding my hand in his. “I’m trash, baby. You fucked someone who lived in a trailer park who has no goddamn idea who his father is. I’ll never know because my mom is a drunk. How’s that for an excuse?”

His eyes shone with emotion. I closed my eyes briefly, taking a deep breath. “It’s actually a pretty good excuse.”

Shock registered on his face. That wasn’t the answer he expected at all. “You forgive me?” he asked, squinting his eyes at me in disbelief.

I smiled unsurely back at him. “Do you forgive me for being a psychopath? I don’t know what I was thinking, following you around like some jealous girlfriend. How old am I?”

Jason chuckled, bringing my hand to his mouth. “You were curious. Actually, the jealousy I find oddly,” he kissed my hand, “alluring.” Goose bumps rose and spread with the feel of his lips on my skin.

“You didn’t seem very allured when I told you that I followed you,” I said, gazing up at him.

“I acted like a pussy and I’m so sorry, baby. You shocked the hell out of me. I got defensive and embarrassed and I took it out on you.”

“You said I was a distraction. The most dangerous kind of distraction if I remember correctly.”

“I haven’t written a fucking word since you left. I can’t think, can’t focus on anything except how I let the best thing to ever come into my life slip through my fingers.”

“You mean that?”

“Yeah, honey. Are we good?” he asked.

“Just about,” I said, pulling his head down to kiss him.

After a glass of water and a stolen cookie from the staff room, I started to feel more human. The doctor was taking forever to come in, which was a good thing because Jason and I had time to talk. And steal cookies.

“How many cookies were there on the plate?” I asked, wanting more already.

“A few. I’m not going back in there. They didn’t buy my I-thought-this-was-the-bathroom excuse the first time. It’s not going to work a second time.”

“I’m nervous. Tell me something.”

“No reason to be nervous.”

“What if they say I can’t do the procedure today?” My eyes welled up.

“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry so much.”

“But what if—”

The door swung open before I could finish. “Good afternoon, I have some news,” Dr. Kavacoli said, throwing my file onto her desk. Disappointment filled my soul. She was going to say they couldn’t do the procedure. I could feel it. “Looks like we can’t do your procedure today.”

I sobbed so loud, they could likely hear me from the waiting room. Tears spilled out at record speed, my heart broken. This was never going to happen for me.

Jason put his arm around me as I cried into his chest. This world was just not fair. All I wanted was one baby. Just one. Why was that so much to ask?

“No, no, no, Vivienne. You’ve misunderstood me. I’m sorry. I mean, I’m not sorry. Congratulations, we can’t do the procedure because you’re already pregnant.”

“What?” both Jason and I said in unison. My crying stopping immediately.

“You’re already pregnant. From the blood tests, about four weeks. That’s why I took so long. We had to wait for confirmation.”

“How did this happen?” I asked.

Jason laughed. “Guess those condoms didn’t work after all,” he said, his eyes glassy.

“I guess,” I said, smiling a knowing look back at him.

“This is fantastic news, folks,” Dr. K. said, strutting around her desk. “I wish I had such happy things to tell the rest of my patients.”

“Fuck, baby…missed you…so…much,” Jason said as he drove into me relentlessly. I wrapped my legs around him, feeling it coming. His skin was damp from his exertions and difficult to hold onto. A bead of sweat dropped from his face onto my chest. He bent over and took my nipple into his mouth. The feel of his searing tongue on me was enough to push me over the edge.

“Oh my God,” I chanted as I squeezed him tight with every muscle I had. He didn’t stop. Instead, he went faster, making me come even harder. The muscles in his back strained with every stroke. My hands wandered down, taking hold of his firm ass, grabbing on tight while I licked, tasting his salty shoulder.

Once again, he quickened to an impossible pace before he stilled inside me, groaning his release into my neck. “Fuck, Vivienne. So beautiful,” he said as he slid in and out, nursing the aftershocks. He slowly kissed his way up my neck, making his way back to my lips. “Missed you, baby,” he whispered against my mouth, then kissed me deep and long. My fingers dove into his dampened hair. I held him to me, never wanting to let go. Our tongues fought for control, and like always, he won.

“I missed you, too,” I confessed, kissing the side of his mouth, up his cheek. While I stroked the ridges on his back, something popped into my head. “We’re going to have a baby.”

“You caught that wave,” he said, grinning down at me like a fool.

“I did, didn’t I?”

“Here, I did some baking yesterday,” Vivienne said as she entered her bedroom from her little excursion to the kitchen. We had gone down to the kitchen for a midnight snack, but that was hours ago. The sun was threatening to rise, and we still hadn’t had enough of each other.

She carried a tray with enough muffins, cinnamon buns, and other baking to last us a week. That thought sounded good. Vivienne and I in bed for the next week, eating nothing but her baking. That I could do.

Setting the tray onto the bed, she said, “I wasn’t sure if it was too late or too early for coffee, but I brought some just in case.” She handed me a cup, and I sat up carefully so I didn’t spill it. “Hot chocolate for me,” she said, happy for the reason she had to give up coffee. “Is it morning if you haven’t gone to sleep yet?” she asked, settling back onto the pillows piled up on her side of the bed. I’d never seen that many pillows all in one place before.

I took a sip of the hot liquid. “I guess so,” I answered, only half-listening. The baking had my full attention. “How many kinds of muffins are there?” I stared longingly at the tasty delights on the tray.

“Um, let’s see. There’s blueberry, apple crumble, bumble berry, and banana chocolate chip,” she named them off while pointing out each one. “Oh, and cinnamon buns,” she added. “Has Chelsea ever baked for you?”

“Of course. Lots of times,” I replied, gazing over the choices of baking set before me.

“She’s your cousin?”

“How’d you know that?” I asked, wondering how she’d found out.

“We, uh, bumped into her. I’ll tell you about it later,” Vivienne said, nervously. Hmm.

“Okay…well, her and her mom were always baking something. I loved going to their cabin.” I cleared my throat. “Our birthdays are almost identical. Only problem was, my mom and I didn’t exactly fit in. But her mom picked me up as much as she could, until…” I stopped myself. Just happy things belonged here now. Vivienne and I finally figured all of our shit out, and she was carrying my baby. She didn’t need this floating around in her brain. “Anyway, we were close as kids, and then there was a bit of time where I didn’t really see her much. But now that she’s got her own place, I go over to visit sometimes.”

“You ass,” she said, throwing a poor, defenseless muffin at me. “You could have told me, dumb jerk.”

“Chelsea is a really special person in my life, and I didn’t feel much like explaining anything to you at the time. I’m sorry.” I turned, putting my coffee on the side table before I started eating the damaged blueberry muffin. “I love your baking better,” I told her, devouring the entire muffin in two bites, grabbing for an apple one next as she watched my every move.

“It’s nothing. Just some flour, water, and sugar in a bowl.” She waved me off with her hand like what she had made for me was nothing and meant nothing.

“They’re more than just muffins. They are the sweet, fluffy culmination of a young boy’s fantasy for a better life. These mean a fuck-of-a-lot more than just some flour, water, and sugar in a bowl.”

Her eyes got glassy. The last thing I wanted was for her to cry over my crappy life. “What I’m trying to say is, I appreciate the effort, and even more I appreciate it was for me.” I tried my best to explain.

“I’m glad, but that speech was kind of cheesy,” she said, looking at me for a second before wiping her eyes. She noticed me watching. “Hormones,” she giggle-cried, more tears escaping. “I can’t believe I finally get to say that.”

“It happened on our vacation, you know,” I told her. She nodded, tossing her long hair over her shoulder. Her movement also caused her robe to slide open a bit more than it should, and my eyes darted there like a shot. I’d seen her breasts, played with her breasts, sucked, licked, and kissed her breasts, but they still rendered me incapable of conscious thought. Especially when her delicious pink nipple was almost poking out of that silky robe. If she moved just a bit more to the side...

“Hello?” Vivienne waved her hand. “My face is up here,” she said and pointed to her face. Okay, so I assumed she pointed to her face because my eyes were still glued to her wandering robe. But could you blame me? It was a tiny robe, attempting to cover up a whole lot of...Vivienne.

“I know, but you’re having an issue right down there.” I reached my finger over, hooking it inside her robe, pulling it farther open, and exposing her gorgeous body. “Christ, you are beautiful.” I shook my head, still staring at her. I suppose a stronger man would have at least tried to pretend her sumptuous tits didn’t hypnotize him, but I was not that man. Nope. A boob man until the day I died. My mouth hungered at the sight of her. I couldn’t believe she let an idiot like me into her bed.

“What kind of an issue exactly?” she asked sarcastically, but still played along, allowing me to readjust her robe to my liking.

“This stupid robe is,” I moved her robe off of one shoulder, then the other, and watched it float down her arms to the bed, “in the way.”

“My robe is stupid? I’ll have you know I spent a pretty penny on this stupid robe. It’s pure silk, softer than anything you can buy.”

I disagreed strongly with what she’d just said, and I told her so, “Anything that covers you up is dumb. I’ve never seen such a gorgeous body in my life.” I grazed my fingers down her chest, and she inhaled sharply. “It’s a crime to keep it hidden. This robe is soft, but not nearly as soft as certain parts of you.” I continued running the tips of my fingers down until I reached her nipples. She gasped as I caressed them to a hard peak. So perfect.

“I swear, your tits are even bigger than before.” I laid her back onto the bed, moving over top of her, our naked bodies grazing and rubbing in all the right places. She felt good. I’d never get tired of this.

“Again?” she asked when she felt my hardness on her belly.

“Once more, then we take a short cat nap before work. Those muffins and coffee gave me a burst of energy.”

“Yay, muffins and coffee.” She smiled up at me. I took her mouth in a delicious kiss that tasted of cinnamon and hot chocolate.