Anael sighed as he tucked the last of his clothing into his suitcase. It was official, he was moving into Zagan’s mansion – his apartment now being managed by a rental agency Raziel recommended. Anael hoped whoever sat on his couch after he left would find the same sort of love he’d found with Zagan.
Glancing at this phone, he knew it was time for him to go. Zagan claimed he had a surprise for him later and while he was keen on the pair of them spending the afternoon in bed, he had people to see and Anael needed time alone. Since facing Patrice, he felt as though he was wearing a mask. To the outside world he looked and behaved just like always. Inside he was desperately trying to process the cruelty he’d shown towards Patrice’s plight along with his values of love and forgiveness.
“You did the right thing, my sweet angel.” Shutting the lid of his suitcase with a bang, Anael ran across the room, throwing his arms around a man he’d missed every day for the past month. Gabriel wrapped his arms around him tenderly and for the first time since the event, Anael let his tears fall. Tears for the soul of Patrice that was now beyond redemption; tears for the pain Uriel had gone through and tears for the fears he held deep inside, worried he was broken in some way.
“You are not broken, sweet angel. Matured maybe. Mated, I hear, but never broken. Your soul shines as bright as it ever did, I promise.”
“I can’t see my soul, I didn’t know. I watched the demons drag Patrice and his friends to the pits and I laughed and drank with my mate as though it was just another day,” Now the tears had started Anael couldn’t stop. “How could I be so heartless? I can’t talk to Zagan about it. He’s so proud of me for standing up for myself, but I feel hollow inside.”
“Come, let’s have a seat.” Gabriel pulled a box of tissues from the ether and Anael scrubbed his cheeks. “Now,” Gabriel continued when Anael composed himself, “As much as this might pain me to say, I agree with King Zagan on this, at least in part. You weren’t standing up for yourself, were you? You were standing up for Uriel. You were seeing justice done for him and that’s an extremely brave and sweet thing to do.”
“Uriel will hate me when he hears what I’ve done.” Anael voiced his biggest fear. “How can I, the angel of love, laugh with my mate while I watched the love of Uriel’s life burn? What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing.” Gabriel’s hair was a little longer than when Anael saw him last, but his eyes shone as kindly as ever. “There is nothing wrong with you and when Uriel is himself again, he will tell you the same thing. Tell me, did you believe Patrice could be redeemed, that his soul could be saved?”
“I don’t know,” Anael whispered as he stared at his knees. “You know I don’t have that gift – to see the color of a person’s soul.”
“There was a reason you weren’t given that gift, Anael. As the angel of love, your power is to share that love and encourage bonds between others. Head Office agreed, when you came into being, that to give you the gift of seeing souls would make your job far more difficult than it needs to be.”
“They didn’t think I could cope.” Anael knew he was like the poor relation in the angel hierarchy.
“That’s not it at all. I was there when you were discussed. The worry was and still is that if you could tell if a person was good or bad depending on the color of their soul, then there may be times when you could see a connection between two individuals yet fail to help them see it because one soul was darker than the other.”
“I don’t know what I’d do if that was the case.” Anael had never thought about that before. He trusted the colors of the connections he could see and never thought much beyond that.
“Love is a hugely strong power, my young angel. It is one of the few powers that can help change a person’s soul. That’s why you were given your gifts in the first place. People do all manner of things for their soul mates. Some of the couples you’ve brought together,” Gabriel let out a long breath, “well, let’s just say in some cases one of the parties at least was well on their way to a spot in Haures’s army. Yet, because of you nudging them in the right direction, the whole course of their lives changed. For the better.”
“That really happened?” Anael was shocked and privately pleased. In his head love cured everything, but he’d never actually thought there were cases that actually proved it. Then he had a worrying thought. “So, I could have been wrong. Patrice might have been saved.”
“No, and before you get upset again, let me explain,” Gabriel said firmly. “Patrice had already set the color of his soul when Botis killed him, something Botis was right to do, although don’t tell him I said so. That demon is cocky enough.”
Anael giggled. Botis was a confident individual.
“Being in Haures’s army gave Patrice the opportunity to clear the debt on his soul. Remember he’s been in the Underworld for five hundred years. Did you see any signs, in the connections Patrice had with others that he’d found true love, or at least made bonds of genuine friendship with anyone?”
Anael thought back on what he’d seen. “He spoke of his love for Uriel, but there was no light in any of the connections I could see. That’s how I knew he was trying to manipulate me.”
“And that’s why I said you’d matured,” Gabriel said with a gentle smile. “You didn’t accept his words blindly although I can imagine the war your heart must have had with the rest of you. Your instinct was to forgive and find some glimmer of hope for the man’s redemption and that’s what all angels aspire to do. You didn’t pass judgment on him, if that’s what you’re worried about. He made his choices and had to pay the consequences.”
“He kept saying he wanted to see Uriel and I couldn’t do that to my friend. I knew, with the way Patrice was with me, that if Uriel saw him in that wretched state he would have done all he could to save him and I couldn’t let Uriel’s heart be broken for a second time.”
“And it would have been broken,” Gabriel agreed. “Uriel tried not long after Patrice went to the Underworld, to petition to be allowed to see him. It was up to me at the time to show him the judgment, let him see for himself the list of sins Patrice committed in life. He was understandably devastated, but he withdrew his petition and promised not to try and see him again.”
“But all that time he still kept loving him and hating Botis because of what happened.” Anael looked across at his friend and mentor. “Given that the power of love is so strong, is there any chance Patrice’s soul could have been saved if Uriel had won his petition?”
“Their love wasn’t mutual so the short answer is no. Patrice might have said the right things and even for a time, acted in a way that might have convinced Uriel their love for each other was the same intensity. But in time his true self would have emerged. I’m afraid that no matter how much one person might love another, if that feeling isn’t reciprocated then no single person can save a couple’s relationship, let alone their soul. You should know that.” Gabriel grinned, nudging Anael with his shoulder.
“Are you well now?” Anael wasn’t sure if he had the right to ask. Gabriel seemed quieter than before, almost unsure of himself. But his hug had been just what Anael needed and it was in his nature to want to offer to help his mentor if he could.
“I’m a little more humble than I was,” Gabriel admitted ruefully. “This business with Uriel highlighted prejudices I wasn’t aware of and I have had to come to terms with that. The retreat did me a lot of good. It enabled me to truly get in touch with my own faults and work on making changes in the way I interact with others. My first duty, once I’d been cleared was to visit with Raziel and Botis and seek their forgiveness.”
“It would have been given gladly. You’ve been missed by us all.” Anael wondered if he should mention Lucifer, but decided against it. Gabriel’s connections were hidden from him for some reason – they always had been. Anael could only surmise that if he was meant to do any nudging with his mentor and a certain someone in the Underworld, Head Office would let him know soon enough.
“Thank you. Now, tell me, is Zagan treating you well? I must admit I wasn’t happy finding a mating had been completed in my absence, although I understand all is well between you two now. I’m only sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I take it things didn’t go too well when you met him?”
Even though Anael knew Gabriel would have already seen the reports and knew exactly what had happened, he happily explained everything from his first meeting with Zagan through to his packing his suitcase. For the first time in a long time, Gabriel didn’t seem as though he was in a hurry to go anywhere, content to sip coffee and laugh and sigh as Anael told his tale. And with every minute that passed, Anael felt more settled in himself. By the time Gabriel hugged him close and wished him well, he finally felt at peace with all that had happened during his and Zagan’s brief mating.
The moment Gabriel disappeared, he went over and picked up his suitcase. With one last look around his apartment, Anael left his home for the last time. He’d already text his mate and sure enough as he skipped down the stairs to the road, Zagan was already out of his car and reaching for his case.
“I love you,” Anael said with far more feeling than he’s used in recent days.
“I never doubted it,” Zagan dropped a kiss on his lips. “Did your meeting with the boss angel help you come to terms with what happened with Patrice?”
“You knew I was struggling with that?” Anael thought he’d done such a good job in hiding his conflict.
“Precious, of course I knew. Your heart is too big and your caring for others is too strong to ever watch a man go to eternal torment and laugh about it,” Zagan swung Anael’s case into the back seat of the car and turned to face him. “I really appreciated the fact you tried though. I know you were doing that for me and I’m the first to admit I struggled in knowing how to help you. I’m glad Gabriel was able to help you today. He has far more experience in angel feelings than I do.”
“You are, without doubt, the very best match I could have ever dreamed of,” Anael rose on tiptoes for a kiss. “You’re perfect for me.”
“Ditto, my precious, ditto.” Zagan took the kiss but it was over far too quickly for Anael’s liking. “Now get in the car, we have places to go. I still have my surprise to share.”
“Can you give me a hint at least?” Anael bounced around in his seat with excitement. He was feeling a lot more like his old self.
“All I will say is I’ve found something we have in common and capitalized on it.” Zagan’s grin was pure alchemy, always guaranteed to warm Anael’s insides. He couldn’t wait to see what Zagan had come up with now.