3
Jackson
It felt like we waited for hours. I’m not sure how long we sat there hoping someone would come in and tell us what happened to our baby, one way or the other.
“Look who I have here.” My mother’s voice brought me out of my fog and into the present.
“What is it, Mom?” I asked her as I lifted my head up to see what she was referring to. She was holding something in her arms. It looked like a baby wrapped in a blanket. Could it be? Could my baby have survived? Oh my God, I thought. My prayers were answered.
“I have someone I want you to meet.” She walked over to the bed and showed her bundle to Sara. Sara looked at the baby in total disbelief. She didn’t move. She had no expression on her face. She just stared at the baby.
“Is he dead?” she asked my mother quietly.
My mom had the biggest smile on her face, which was encouraging. “No, sweetheart. He’s actually asleep. It’s hard work making your way into our world. The nurse just brought him to me and said it was safe for me to hold him since it was only a momentary scare. Apparently your baby got tangled in the umbilical cord coming out and was deprived of oxygen for a short period of time. They were able to untangle the cord and give him some oxygen quickly enough so the deprivation didn’t hurt him at all. They did a battery of tests, and he appears to be totally fine and completely healthy. Congratulations, you two. You are the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy.”
Sara started crying so uncontrollably she could barely breathe. I stood up and looked at my mom in disbelief. “He’s really OK?” I asked her as I walked around the bed to get a closer look at the baby. I couldn’t believe it. I prayed I wasn’t dreaming and that this was really happening.
“He sure is. In fact he’s probably one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. Want to hold him?” she asked Sara.
“I’m scared,” she whimpered between sobs.
My mother put the baby on Sara’s chest. “Don’t be, sweetheart. You did a great job. You need to calm down. You don’t want to upset him. Look, he’s fine. Oh, he just opened his eyes. He wants his mommy. Don’t be afraid. C’mon, sweetie, he’s waiting to meet you,” Mom said encouragingly.
Sara took the baby and stared at him in obvious disbelief. The tears were still falling down her face. I didn’t know what to think or to say. My baby was OK. He was really OK. I couldn’t believe it. I was in shock. Both Sara and I continued to stare at the baby. I couldn’t believe he was alive and healthy.
“So,” my mom said, “Does this little angel have a name?”
Sara looked at me for consent before she spoke. I nodded. She knew I completely agreed on the name. She wiped the tears away from her face before she said anything. “Katharine, meet Brian. The BR is for your late husband, Bryce, and the Ian is for my dad. His middle name will be Jensen, after me, and his last name will be Collins. Brian Jensen Collins, I’d like to introduce you to your grandmother Kiki.”
I looked at my mom, and now it was time for her to be teary-eyed. “You named him after your father? That is so special. Thank you so much. That means the world to me.”
“After Jackson got the sign from his dad that he was having a son, it became obvious we had to include him in the naming of our baby. I’m glad you approve. Thank you so much for being here, Katharine. We couldn’t have done this without you,” Sara said between sobs. Now we were all crying. I never expected to be so overwrought with emotion, but I most definitely was.
“I love you, Sara Jensen, and I can’t tell you how happy I am that you gave me a grandson and Jackson a son. Would it be OK if I brought your dad and sister in to see you? They’ve been going crazy waiting to hear how the baby is doing.”
“Oh my God, of course! Please go get them,” Sara said. I had forgotten they were waiting down the hall this whole time, and apparently so had Sara.
We watched my mom scurry out. I looked back at my beautiful girlfriend and our incredible boy. I couldn’t put into words what I was feeling. It was too much. I kissed Sara on the lips and then the baby on the forehead. This was such a magical moment. Sara and I looked at one another and smiled.
A few minutes later, my mom, Ian and Emily walked into the room. Ian ran over to his daughter and hugged her. “How’s my baby girl doing?” he asked Sara.
“I’m good now, Daddy,” she told him. “It was so scary. The baby was blue when he came out. I thought he was dead. Thank God he’s all right. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I’m so glad you’re here.” Her crying was controlled, but she was still overwrought with emotions. I couldn’t keep the tears from falling either. It had been quite a roller coaster ride.
Ian kissed her forehead and looked at the baby. “There is no place I would rather be. So can you introduce me to this little fellow?” he asked playfully.
“Daddy, please meet Brian Jensen Collins. Brian, this is your poppa. What do you think?” Sara asked her dad, obviously needing his approval.
“I think you did a great job. He is beautiful. Did you incorporate my name and Jackson’s father’s?” he asked.
“Sure did. Pretty clever, huh? I can’t believe you figured it out so quickly. Oh Daddy, the delivery was horrible. The cord was wrapped three times around his neck. His face was completely blue. I thought he was dead. It feels like such a miracle that he’s alive. And the doctor said he is OK. They did a few tests on him already, and they said everything is fine. I can’t believe it. Can you?” Sara asked her dad with a shaky voice.
“Of course I can. He is beautiful. How are you feeling?” He looked at her worriedly. I didn’t blame him. She looked completely strung out and very pale.
“Better now that I know Brian is all right. Childbirth really hurt, though. In fact it hurt way more than I thought it would. I’m so happy it’s over.”
We all stared at the baby. He looked absolutely beautiful and totally fine. Thank God.
Emily was standing at the end of the bed holding on to Sara’s feet. She looked like she had been crying too. I didn’t even notice she was there at first. She looked too overwhelmed to speak. Everyone had been worried that the baby wouldn’t make it. It was obvious that it was stressful on the entire family. My mom and I were on one side of the bed. Ian was on the other. Our family circled Sara and the baby. I could feel the love in the room.
After a few minutes, a lactation consultant came into the room and introduced herself to us. Her name was Victoria. She was a pleasant looking woman dressed in light pink scrubs. She walked over to the bed. “Are you ready to try nursing this little guy?” she asked Sara.
“Uh, I guess. I don’t know what to do, though,” she admitted honestly.
“Don’t worry,” the nurse said, “the baby knows what to do.” She took Brian and repositioned him next to Sara’s breast. The baby started to move his mouth like he was looking for something to eat. It was amazing to witness. I reached for my mother’s hand for support. Once again, I was feeling completely overwhelmed by the entire experience. Sara lifted her gown out of the way, and the baby searched for her nipple. It was fascinating.
“How does he know to do that?” I had to ask.
The nurse smiled at me. “There is an incredible connection between a mother and child that is difficult to explain. The baby just knows. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Beautiful doesn’t begin to describe it. Thank you for all of your help.” I was so relieved that my son was healthy, I started to cry. When I looked up, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. I guessed I wasn’t the only one who was overwhelmed. Sara and I had a beautiful, healthy baby boy. It was a miracle.