16
Emily
I woke up with a little headache from drinking the entire bottle of wine, and for some reason that made me smile. That controlling, un-fun man that I left only two short days ago would never tolerate consuming an entire bottle of wine. Well, I didn’t have to answer to anyone anymore, and it felt fantastic. I went into the kitchen, got a glass of water, and took two aspirin from my purse. I left my purse on the kitchen counter as I walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I felt a little guilty leaving it there. Martin insisted my purse and coat always hang on the hook next to the front door. He hated clutter. It made him anxious. Well, that was another thing I didn’t have to worry about anymore either.
I took an extra-long shower. I scrubbed every inch of my body with careful precision. It felt like I was washing away any residue from my failed relationship. For some reason even the thought of failing as a couple didn’t upset me. I felt incredibly liberated.
As I lathered up the sponge to wash between my legs, I became aware of how good the sensation felt. I closed my eyes and continued to move the sponge in slow circles. I enjoyed the tingly sensations resonating between my legs. I wanted to see if I could bring myself to an orgasm this way. I had never been able to achieve one without a vibrator, and I couldn’t use a vibrator if Martin was around. He thought there was something perverse about a woman masturbating. I forced the image of Martin out of my mind and thought about someone I found attractive. Oh yeah, Chad. He was much more appealing.
Chad was a beautiful man. He was in the same year of law school I was. He had messy blond hair and dark-blue eyes that looked dangerous and seductive. He had already shown an interest in me, but I told him I was living with someone. He probably stood around six four and had to be at least two hundred pounds of solid muscle. He told me he was from California. I wasn’t surprised. He was very tanned when the semester began and kind of looked like a surfer guy.
I tried to imagine him naked. I had never seen a man that fit without clothes on in person, but my imagination was enjoying the exercise. I envisioned him washing my body with the sponge. While he washed my body, he would kiss me hungrily, like he needed my mouth to help him breath. I had fantasized many times about kissing a man that way because I never had. Now I actually may have the chance to experience a passionate kiss. He would thoroughly wash my breasts, and I would moan my appreciation. As my thoughts wandered to that image, I found my left hand was massaging my breast as my right hand continued its slow, seductive dance between my legs.
I could feel my breath getting shallower and my legs feeling weak. I leaned my forehead against the wall of the shower to help support me. I wanted Chad to be standing behind me. He would be the one touching me. I wouldn’t need to touch myself. I would be free to reach behind and stroke him. He would be very hard and very well endowed. We would be equally turned on.
He would think I was beautiful. He would tell me so. I wouldn’t be able to control the desire that was pulsating between my legs. I would cry out in ecstasy as he made me climax with just his hands. Oh yes. Oh yes. That was exactly what I needed.
My orgasm was very intense. I had to sit down and try to catch my breath once the spasms subsided. Wow, I didn’t think I’d ever experienced something so powerful. Chad was definitely an effective aphrodisiac. I had to remember that in the future. Even though he had made several opportunities in the past to speak to me, I didn’t think he would be interested in me sexually. I was too plain for a hot California guy. Although, who knew? Maybe I should make a little effort to alter my look a bit and take a chance.
I finally composed myself enough to finish rinsing off and get ready for school. I went to get dressed and was disgusted by the color scheme of my closet. It was mostly black, navy, brown, and gray. I wished I had some of Sara’s turquoise or yellow blouses to bring some color to my wardrobe.
Wait. I thought I might have some colored tank tops in my bin of workout clothes. I found a red tank top that was tight fitting and fairly bright. I decided to forgo slacks and put on blue jeans. There was no dress code in law school, and I didn’t want to look like a conservative attorney for once. I grabbed my leather jacket I’d bought in Italy and put it on. I looked different. My cheeks were still flushed from my orgasm. I looked good with some color in my face.
Instead of drying my hair straight, I put it in a messy ponytail. How different I looked. Younger. Freer. I decided to put on a little makeup. Sara always gave me a hard time about not wearing makeup. Maybe she was right. I did feel prettier with some on.
I grabbed my stuff and headed to school. I swung by the deli on the way and grabbed a cup of coffee and a croissant. I knew the girl behind the counter, because I’d gone there a lot when I’d lived with my dad. “Hi, Jenny, how have you been?”
“Good. Wait…Emily Jensen?”
“Yes, why do you look so surprised?” I asked her.
“You just look different, that’s all. Not different bad. Better, actually. Prettier. Did you start law school yet?” she asked me.
“I sure did. What about you? Did you apply to nursing school yet?”
“Yeah. I just found out last week that I could start the accelerated program in January upstate. I wasn’t sure I’d get in, but I did! It’s crazy. I’ll be a nurse in one year!” she said enthusiastically.
“Are you going to the University of Rochester?” I wondered. A friend of mine went there last year and loved the program. It was intense, but now she was a nurse in Chicago and loving every minute of it.
“I am. So you heard of it then?” She seemed surprised.
“Yes. My friend went there. I’m proud of you, Jenny. I know you’ll do great.”
I got my order to go and headed to school. She’d said I looked pretty. People never said things like that to me. Martin never even said things like that to me. People always said them to Sara. It felt really good to get a compliment.
I got to my first class just in time. It was called Contracts in Law. I found a seat toward the front of the class, like I always did. I didn’t like the distraction of seeing a lot of other students while I was listening to a lecture. I was getting my laptop out when I felt someone sit next to me. It was Chad. Holy crap!
I looked up at him and blushed profusely. He gave me his movie star smile and said, “May I sit next to you?”
I could barely respond. I had just masturbated with him in mind. “Uh, sure” was all I could mutter.
He continued to stare at me, which made the flush in my cheeks intensify. “Is everything OK?” I asked him.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was staring, wasn’t I? You just look different today,” he said with little smile that made his dimples wink at me.
“Different good…or different bad?” I asked cautiously.
“Really good, actually. What’s different about you today?” He really seemed interested. What honest bit of information should I share with this hunk of a man?
“I don’t know. I’m dressed casually for the first time in like…ever. And I rarely put my hair up messy like this. I just drank a little too much wine last night, and the thought of drying my hair this morning sounded exhausting.” Wow, I couldn’t believe I shared that much. It felt good to be this forthcoming.
“You must have been celebrating something special with your boyfriend?” he asked cautiously.
The flush crept up my face again. “Actually, just the opposite. I left Martin a couple days ago and was celebrating my freedom.” That was the first time I admitted it to a nonfamily member, and it felt fantastic to say the words out loud.
He gave me a huge smile and reached over to squeeze my shoulder. “Well, congratulations. That must have been the right decision, because you have never looked so radiant.”
Holy crap, he called me radiant. That was another first. “Thank you,” I said quietly and looked forward toward the professor. He was just trying to get our attention, as he wanted to begin his lecture.
It was impossible to focus on anything the teacher was talking about. All I could do was think about this beautiful creature sitting next to me. He had a fitted blue T-shirt on that accentuated his muscles and made his eyes even more alluring. He wore distressed jeans and Birks on his feet. Even his feet were sexy. He smelled of musk and of sex. I couldn’t concentrate at all.
I was flattered he’d noticed I looked different. My relationship with Martin must have been bringing me down more than I knew. This was a very good start. I knew today was going to be a good day.
When the lecture ended, I started to pack my things away. I could feel Chad looking at me. I was afraid to make eye contact, because I knew I would blush. “Emily?” I heard him say.
Now I had to look at him. “Yes?”
“I don’t want to pressure you into anything, especially since your breakup is so fresh, but I don’t have many friends in town yet, and I was wondering if you might want to go for lunch or coffee or something sometime.”
There was no way I could stop the smile that was plastered on my face. He liked me. Wow. “I’d love to. Want to grab something after our next lecture? I had only a croissant for breakfast, and if I don’t have a decent meal I won’t make it through our three-hour lecture this afternoon. Besides, I think I’d feel better if I had some more food to soak up the bottle of wine I drank by myself last night.”
“It’s a shame you had to drink alone. I wish I was there to keep you company. Want to meet across the street at eleven thirty?” Boy, his voice was dreamy. I don’t think anyone in their right mind could say no to this man.
“I’d like that very much. Thank you for asking,” I said politely even though my insides were doing a happy dance.
When I got to the restaurant, I saw Chad sitting at a small table in the corner. I walked over to him enthusiastically. “Hope you haven’t been waiting long.”
“Nope, just sat down. I ordered some water. I thought you might need some after polishing off an entire bottle of wine last night. I didn’t know if you’d like to drink anything else.”
He remembered I’d told him I’d drank a whole bottle. He’d paid attention. What a nice change. “Actually, water is exactly what I would have asked for. I get sluggish when I’m dehydrated. And after splurging last night…” I laughed. I’d never drunk a bottle by myself before. It felt decadent. I liked the feeling. It also felt good to laugh at myself.
The server came over. Chad motioned for me to order first. What a gentleman. I ordered a turkey Reuben. He ordered the same. We both ordered fries, and the server disappeared to get the order in. I was excited to eat a big meal.
“It sounds like you had a valid reason to celebrate. Want to talk about it?” He really did seem genuinely concerned. I didn’t know what I should say or if I should say anything about my relationship. Oh, what the heck? I might as well be honest and open and see how it went.
“We’ve been dating over three years. On paper the relationship seemed perfect. But it was anything but perfect. He’s in med school. I’m in law school. I know we’re both busy, but we never did anything fun. He’s a very regimented guy. If it wasn’t written on the schedule, it didn’t happen. It was so boring. I felt like I was suffocating. Leaving him was the best thing I ever did.” There, I said it.
Chad stared at me for a minute. “Was sex on the schedule too?” Holy crap, I couldn’t believe he asked that. I know my face must have turned a deep shade of scarlet.
“Funny you should ask that. Yes, in fact it was. Twice a week. Always in bed. Always the same positions. It was dreadful,” I said honestly. I normally would have been embarrassed admitting this to someone, but I wasn’t. He’d asked me the question. I wanted to tell him the truth.
He smiled at me and said, “That does sound dreadful. What would happen if you tried to deviate from the schedule?”
I shook my head in disgust as I thought about it. “He’d turn me away,” I said quietly. Wow, I couldn’t control what was coming out of my mouth.
“Well, he’s an idiot. I don’t know how any sane man could turn you away. He seriously needs to have his head examined. That definitely isn’t how you treat someone you supposedly love. It had to make you feel unwanted.” Damn, this guy was intuitive.
At that moment the server set our plates and the bill on the table. I loved how efficient restaurants in New York City were.
“You have no idea. I’ve never felt pretty or desired. I think he really did a number on my self-esteem. I’m tired of feeling this way. He’s the only real boyfriend I’ve ever had. I know there has to be more than that in the world.”
Chad reached over and held my hand. His hand was big. I looked at it and enjoyed how it felt touching me. His nails were well groomed, but I could feel his strength. “You are a beautiful and desirable woman, and that Martin person is an ass. I’m sorry he treated you that way. You deserve so much more.”
I couldn’t believe what happened next. My eyes filled with tears. I never cried, even when my parents split. It was only recently that crying seemed to be part of my repertoire. Chad really seemed to care about my feelings. It was more than I could handle. “I don’t know what to say,” I mumbled. I couldn’t look at him and I felt a vice on my chest. I was having an impossible time controlling my emotions.
He reached up and wiped a tear from my cheek. “Say you’ll let me show you what a real relationship could be like.”
“But we hardly know each other,” I said as I wiped more tears that were sneaking down my face.
“Then let’s get to know each other. What are you doing after the lecture?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I was thinking about going to the library. What did you have in mind?” I asked. He wanted to spend more time with me. I was overwhelmed…flattered…scared.
“Let’s do something fun,” he suggested playfully.
I didn’t know what kind of fun thing he could be talking about, but I promised myself I would make a change in my life. “Like what?” I asked him.
“Hmm, let me think…I know. How do you feel about getting dirty?” he asked suggestively.
“What did you have in mind?” I couldn’t help but smile. He was so charismatic, and his enthusiasm was infectious. And those dimples…
“Let’s go over to Extreme Sports and go paintballing.”
“Go what?” There is no way I could have hidden my surprise.
“Paintballing. I know you’ve heard of it before. You shoot people with paint. It’s an absolute blast.”
I’d never known anybody who did that. I wasn’t sure if it was dangerous or not. I’d have no idea what to do. I felt very conflicted. “Are you serious?” His smile was so charming, I wasn’t sure if he was serious or not.
“I’ve never been more serious in my life. It’ll make you feel better; I promise. We’ll go back to each of our places and put on the crappiest clothes we own and take a taxi to the facility. I went by myself the first week I got to New York. I needed something fun to do. It’s an awesome setup, and I had a blast. C’mon, what do you say?”
“But I don’t know how to play,” I said. I knew I was probably disappointing him. I wanted to say yes, but I was nervous. This definitely would take me out of my comfort zone.
“You don’t need to know. It’s not as hard as you might think. Everybody has to experience things a first time. Will you trust me? It is a lot of fun.”
There was no way I could say no to him. But what the hell was I going to wear? I didn’t keep clothes that got worn. Maybe I’d just throw on an older T-shirt and yoga pants. OK, I could do this. It was time to make a change in my life. Apparently it was starting with paintball.
“I’m in!” I said excitedly.
“That’s awesome. Now, let’s finish eating so we aren’t late to class.”