Eli

I stormed out of Mark’s condo like a bat out of hell, intent on getting as far away as possible so I could breathe without remembering what a complete and utter ass I’d made of myself.

What the hell was I doing making ultimatums and demanding that he come out for me?

Seriously, I have no idea what got into me. Something just switched on once Mark and I were in bed together. The connection we shared was so powerful and strong, it was like I entered some other dimension or something, and I became a man possessed.

Or just turned into an outright asshole.

Instead of enjoying the time I had with Mark and having a fun weekend in bed, I pushed him away and practically antagonized the man for being closeted.

Not my finest moment. I know better than that. It’s never anyone else’s place to judge or pressure another man to come out. Everyone’s timing is different. Just because I found a reason and the courage to do it in my teens doesn’t mean that Mark is required to. Not today, tomorrow or ever.

It must’ve been temporary insanity. That’s the only logical excuse I can come up with for my behavior. Mark turned me so inside out I could barely see straight.

After running out of Mark’s place, I returned to my apartment but realized I didn’t want to be alone. Standing outside my apartment, I sent Addie a text to see if she was available. She gave me the green light to come over and hang with her and Wyatt.

“How’s my angel doing tonight?” I coo in greeting, kissing her on the cheek as I step through her open doorway. “And where’s that handsome boy of yours hiding? Where’s Wyatt?”

This is a game we always play whenever I come over. If Wyatt’s awake, we always start with a game of hide-n-seek. He loves it and honestly, I do, too. The imagination of a kid this age is something that is unlike anything else in life. Reminding me never to take life so seriously.

“Addie, have you seen our cute little Wyatt around anywhere today?”

I give Addie a wink and notice pudgy bare toddler toes sticking out from under the floor-length curtains of their front window.

Addie smiles and lifts her arms in a shrug. “I have no idea! The last time I saw him he was fighting those mean old monsters that were taking siege of his castle. But you better find him, because it’s almost bedtime. Even heroes need to sleep so they can be strong and rested.”

My body and mind like the idea of sleep very much right about now and it feels much later than eight p.m. I’d been over at Mark’s most of the afternoon and past dinnertime, and everything is still a blur. I stare longingly at Addie’s couch where just last night I sat talking dirty to Mark over the phone. Where just the sound of his voice sent me into a fevered-frenzy, turning me on so fiercely that I came in record time.

Shaking those thoughts from my head, I tiptoe over to the curtains and stand there, making loud, exaggerated noises so Wyatt knows where I’m at. His little boy giggles make me grin and help me to forget my worries for the moment.

“Hmm...where could Wyatt be? He’s not under the couch...or in the pantry...and he’s not in his bed...”

Before I can say anything further, Wyatt bursts through the curtains and grabs hold of my leg, laughing and babbling with unsuppressed joy.

“Eeee-iiii! I’m wight heeeeere, E-I!”

I think it’s adorable that Wyatt can’t pronounce my name, so he just says E.I. Melts my heart. Every. Single. Time.

I bend down to pick him up, swing him up in my arms and tossing him to the ceiling before catching him again in a bear hug.

“You little stinker! There you are!”

He giggles and continues to laugh in little fits of hysterics when I find his exposed Buddha belly and blow raspberry kisses on his soft baby skin.

His laughter dies down and his tone turns serious as he wraps his chubby arms around my neck.

“Eeee-iiii, you wead me book?” It’s adorable that he also can’t say his R’s.

I place a kiss on the top of his baby shampoo scented hair and cradle him in my arms. My heart swells to the size of a basketball whenever he asks me to do anything, but especially when it’s reading bedtime stories. I love every moment I get to spend with Wyatt because he’s the closest thing to having a child of my own.

“Of course, I will, buddy,” I agree, letting him scoot out of my arms and to the floor. “You go pick out two books and get into bed and I’ll be right there.”

Wyatt toddles off into his bedroom as I plop down on the couch next to Addie, who is texting on her phone with a huge-ass grin on her face.

Leaning over, I press her shoulder with mine and peek at her phone screen, but she yanks it away before I get a chance to see anything. What she fails to understand, however, is that she’s already given me the entire story without uttering a single word.

“I assume this means that last night wasn’t just a one-night stand?”

Judging from her bright blush, I know something must be going on. And, being that I’m the closest thing to a brother she has, it’s my duty to exploit and teaser her as much as possible about this burgeoning relationship.

I give her another nudge with my shoulder and swing my arm around her neck, pulling her into my side.

“Come on...spill it...otherwise I’ll tickle you til you pee.” I find a rib on her side and give it a little wiggle and she tries to scramble away from me with no luck. “You know I have my ways and I will get it out of you.”

Addie screeches in laughter, trying unsuccessfully to move out from my hold and keep the phone out of my reach, but I drag her back to my side and continue my attack. She’s shaking with laughter and finally gives a deep, heavy sigh.

“Stop, please...” she pants, putting the phone down on her lap and laying her head on my shoulder. “I don’t know what to say, E. It’s complicated.”

I know the feeling, sister.

“Yeah? What’s so complicated about it? You like him, he likes you. He’s a good lay...” My eyebrows raise skyward as I turn my head to stare at her. Addie’s eyes dart in the opposite direction, thereby already implicating herself.

That makes two of us who got lucky this weekend. Only, she didn’t chase the guy off while riding her high-horse the way I did with Mark. My fucking mouth always seems to land me in trouble. This time, however, it could affect my job and not just my personal life.

Addie sags against me and there’s a pause while we hear Wyatt babbling from the other room, talking to his Transformers.

“Jason’s recently divorced, E. He has two daughters and the split wasn’t amicable. It sounds like it’s pretty ugly. And as for me...well, I’m still a mess and jumping into something with this guy when I’m not over Thad just sounds wrong.”

She practically chokes out her dead husband’s name as I squeeze her tight. She’s been through so much and it still breaks my heart that she hasn’t moved on yet. That’s why I moved to Boston. To be here for her whenever she needs me. To be her rock until she’s steady on her own two feet.

“Addie, angel,” my tone is serious, anchored in an empathetic understanding. “I know your heart is still broken. How could it not be? You went through something so awful and so young, it’s truly unfair. But you need this. Whether Jason’s the real deal or not, at least give him the chance to show you that you’re still alive. Let him woo you and just enjoy it. Things don’t have to get serious, you know. You’ve already had that and maybe now is time for just having some fun. And you know I’ll be here anytime you need me to watch Wyatt.”

She nods, whether in acceptance or something else. Then she suddenly flips the table on me.

“E, I appreciate your offer, you know I do. But Wyatt isn’t your responsibility. You have a life too,” she emphasizes with a jab of her finger into my chest. “I want you to be happy here in Boston, too. You need to get out there and find someone for yourself, too.”

I glance away but not before she catches the look in my eyes.

Shit, too late. She caught me.

Addie gasps, her hand hovering over her mouth in realization. “Wait a minute...did something happen this weekend that you haven’t told me about yet, E? Did you meet someone?”

Busted.

I unravel my arm from behind her and lean forward, my elbows resting on my knees, clasping my head in my hands.

Addie’s hand strokes my back in soothing circles, recognizing the conflict brewing in my mind.

“Eli, what is it?”

I shake my head. “My stupid-ass mouth did it again. What I may have found is complicated, too, Ad. And it’s only going to get trickier come Monday.”

She tilts her head in question. “Why? What does Monday have to do with it? I’m confused.”

My laugh is harsh and not at all funny.

“You and he both,” I mutter, shaking my head with a frustrated huff. “I work with him at the hospital. And he’s...well, I think he’s bi, even though he hasn’t said it. Regardless of what he identifies with, he’s definitely not out and doesn’t want anyone to know, either. Just like-”

“Cody.” We both say at the same time.

Leaning back against the couch cushions with a thud of my head, I close my eyes, trying to forget what I said to him as I left his apartment. I’m such an idiot.

“Oh babe, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to have to suppress your feelings for someone and not be able to openly express love the way everyone else can without facing the judgments from ignorant people.” She pats my hand with a gentle and motherly caress.

“So, you met him at work? Is he another nurse?”

I’m about to tell her about Mark, but then realize that it might be breaking his trust. Addie knows him. Maybe not well, but they are acquaintances through her boss, and I’m sure she’s met him on numerous occasions.

I decide to confide in Addie because I know she won’t say a word about it. And it’ll be easier to get this off my chest and ask for her advice.

“You have to swear never to speak a word of this to anyone. It would be devastating for him.”

She nods her head in earnest. “Of course. I’d never say anything.”

And she wouldn’t, I know this.

“It’s Mark Olsen.”

A flash of confusion and a furrow of her brow, her breath falters with a little gasp. “What? Dr. Mark, as in Rylie and Sasha’s friend, Mark?”

I nod emphatically.

“But he’s straight...I mean, I thought...well, I thought he was...”

“Yeah, exactly. You and everyone else. Which is fine, not a big deal if that’s what he wants. He wants me but doesn’t want to make it public. And that’s not okay with me because I’m not hiding again. But it becomes a sticky-wicked because I just so happen to be on his surgical team. And that makes things butt-fuck awkward.”

She giggles at my reference and then it must dawn on her.

“Wait...is this the hot doctor you’d mentioned before? The one you said had a fine ass? Oh, my God, E! And he was at the party on Friday.”

I lift my eyebrows in confirmation and point to my nose to mime “Bingo.”

“Noooo...” she exclaims, her voice brimming with excitement. Just as quickly, though, she tones it down and she realizes what I’ve now come to realize.

Nothing can happen again.

“Oh, Eli. It’ll work itself out. I know it. And until he comes to grips with his sexuality and figures out that you’re the best thing that could ever happen to him, I know you’ll act nothing but professionally around him. He’ll probably realize soon enough that you’re the best thing that could ever happen to him.”

Addie leans over and gives me a peck on the cheek and I interlace our fingers together.

“Ah, my angel. That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

I place a kiss on the top of her forehead just as we hear Wyatt calling my name.

Addie assists me off the couch with a push of my butt and I head down the hallway, where my little man awaits his stories of heroes versus villains; good conquering evil.

Oh, if real life could only be that way. Where the good guy always wins and there’s always a happily ever after for our hero.

I turn to look back at Addie, who smiles her beautiful, if not watery smile at me.

“I’m glad I have you in my life, Addie. You and Wyatt mean the world to me.”