Eli

I’m taking a big chance here and it could easily get my ass fired. But I need him to know. I want Mark to know how I feel about him.

I stare up into the eyes of the man I’ve fallen for, my fingers trembling with uncertainty about what he’ll do with me. Will he push me away? Tell me to stop? Scream at me? Fire me?

“I’m sorry I walked out on you, Mark. I’m sorry I judged you or pressured you. Please let me apologize.”

All day long I felt like a pressure cooker...the intensity of being around Mark without being able to touch him or kiss him or feel him drove me insane. It’s brought me to my knees in pleading supplication to beg him for just a little bit more.

One more time. One more taste. One more fuck.

Anything to help me move on.

Why am I always attracted to unavailable men?  What is wrong with me that I can’t get past this attraction to Mark Olsen? Am I that much of a masochist?

Surprisingly, though, Mark hasn’t stopped or admonished me. He just stares down at me in silence, a dark searing glow emanating from his half-lidded eyes; prompting me to continue. His length, already semi-hard and pressing against his slacks, is now fully erect as I palm him through the soft pleated material. His moans fill the office and urge me on.

His hand covers my cheek, his thumb stroking my jaw with gentle compassion.

“Eli, you’re not the one who needs to apologize. I was a complete asshole.”

Mark encircles my wrists putting a stop to my progression. He drops them to his lap and leans forward so we’re eye-to-eye, the tips of our noses touching. A connection of our flesh.

It pierces me through my heart. Through my soul.

His eyes close for a moment, as if trying to regain his composure. When he opens them again, they’re filled with warmth. Hunger. Acceptance.

“You scared me...or, rather, this intense attraction to you scared me. I thought I had everything figured out until I met you. I thought I knew who I was. Who I was meant to be. I was so certain of the direction my life was going and then just like that...” he snaps his fingers and I blink. “Just like that, Eli, you appear and throw me off course. Please explain that to me. What the fuck is that all about?”

I grin, knowing my dimples pop out for added affect. “Maybe it was time for a little shake up, doc.”

“Don’t I know it.”

He surges forward, locking his lips with mine. Commanding me to open with a jab of his tongue, sweeping it between the seam and diving into my mouth. It’s hunger and need, prompted by desperation.

Everything around us stops for the moment. The sounds of a busy hospital corridor outside these walls; the beeping of machines and monitors, the hum and vibration of voices. It swirls in and around us but doesn’t distract us from our mission.

To connect. To be one. To be together.

I struggle with his zipper like a fumbling teenager in the dark, finally pulling it down and pushing open the material. Burrowing underneath his briefs, I find his hard erection, hot and smooth, straining in my hand as I grip him at the base.

It earns me a long, exaggerated groan.

Mark’s eyes dart to the door and the edges of my lips quirk up into a knowing smile.

“I locked it.” I confirm.

As if that’s all he needs to know, he relaxes and leans back in his director’s chair and spreads his legs wider.

“You are so bad for me, Boy Scout,” he scolds playfully. “But so, so good.”

This wasn’t in my plan when I came in to apologize. It’s not like I purposefully came here to get on my knees and suck him off, searching for absolution. It wasn’t my intention to throw him off guard with sexual pleasure, but I couldn’t stop myself if I tried. The moment I saw him this morning, and every moment since, this is all I could think about. Getting my mouth and hands on him again.

Unless he emphatically told me no, in which case I would have scurried home like a kicked puppy, my tail hidden between my legs, I knew I needed to touch him in some way. Show him how much I need him.

The confines of his slacks are tight, so I work them down to his knees, baring the tops of his thighs, the dark hair leading a trail up to his cock. I revel in the soft feel of his legs, running my fingers toward the prize.

Mark’s lips part in an O shape, all his breath leaving him speechless, as I suck the taut crown into my mouth. I hum in appreciation and pleasure, as if I’ve been gone far too long and this is what home feels like.

Suddenly, he stiffens and retrains my wrists, catching me by the chin as his dick slides from my mouth.

“No...no, no, no, no...what the hell am I doing?”

The unequivocal tone of his voice, coupled with his swift movement to pull away from me, dumps me down on my ass as he jumps up off the chair. Mark stands looking torn and confused, his fingers tugging at his hair.

“What’s the matter?”

He drops his hand to his fly, stashing his dick away and buttoning up, as he begins pacing back and forth. I push myself to standing position, utterly shocked by this turn of events. I don’t know what I did to get him so freaked out. One moment I have him groaning under my ministrations, his dick slick with my saliva, and the next I’m left mouth agape.

Mark stops his pacing and like a predator, stalks toward me, backing me up until I hit the wall, the corner of one of his framed diploma plaques poking me in my head.

“Look at us,” he gestures with one hand, the other pressed against the wall at my head, caging me in. “This isn’t going to help matters. It’s exactly why the hospital discourages relationships and dating in the workplace, so that someone in my position can’t coerce a subordinate to get down on their knees. Goddammit, Eli, I follow the rules. If I’m going to let this happen and we try to make a real go of it – I won’t do it in secret. You won’t be my secret, sneaking into my office under the guise of a meeting to suck me off. No. Not going to happen.”

I blanche, trying to keep up with his stream of consciousness. Is he saying what I think he’s saying? Maybe I hear only what I want to hear, but it sounds like he’s come to a decision about us. About himself.

The thrill that bubbles up from my belly lifts and curls through my blood, vibrating through my body.

My voice is thin and croaky. “What are you saying, exactly? Spell this out for me, doc.”

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and rejoice as Mark leans in, his soft tousled hair brushing against my face as he whispers in my ear.

“I’m saying I want you to be mine. Not just in private. I want everyone to know that you’re mine, Elijah Morrell.”

My body sags against the wall, his arm encircling behind my back to lift me to meet him, accepting my weight against his chest.

And then, as if he’s worried, he begins to backpedal, jerking his head back to look at me.

“Wait, is that okay with you? I don’t want to make any hasty assumptions.”

Oh, my Lord this man is adorable when he’s nervous and flustered. His face turns a little blotchy red, the tips of his ears glowing hot with embarrassment.

Straightening to my full height, I wrap my arms behind his back and flip us around, asserting myself again as the dominant alpha and take control. I lean so he can feel my hard length against his thigh and place a kiss on his lips, long and leisurely.

When I pull back, his lips are wet and swollen and his eyes glazed over.

“I’ve been yours from the moment I met you, doc. Yours and yours alone.”