Chapter 17
Breaking Point
I don't give him time to chase after me without vaporizing as I shove people aside on my way out the door. I don't care if I have to bleed myself dry, I'll recast every spell to keep him out.
Just as I taste the fresh air of the impure night, I hear him calling for me, his shouts pleading in tone.
"Alyssa! Stop! Please stop! I can ex-"
"Don't you dare say you can explain!" I scream while whipping around, ready to fight - enraged at this point.
His eyes are panicked as he runs his hand through his hair. I turn back, returning to my retreat, but he materializes in front of me, risking exposure as he grips my arms.
"Please listen. I was-"
"Don't! Don't tell me you were just talking, because I saw a hell of a lot more. I realize why you were so opposed to defining our relationship now. It's because there isn't one. I'm just the dumb girl who thought you wanted more than sex. You've definitely proven me the naive fool you once blatantly accused me of being. You win. You were right."
I shove him to the side as I continue on my stalk, but he materializes in front of me again, restraining me.
"Let me go, or I'll fucking make you wish you never fucked me over," I hiss, venom seeping from every orifice of my body.
"No. Not until you let me explain. Alyssa, I'm trying to find a lead."
"By sticking your tongue down another girl's throat? I guess you're really taking one for the team. Go play some more. You've got nothing stopping you now; not that anything was stopping you before."
"Damn it, Alyssa. I was just working a fucking angle. We have to hurry and find-"
"An angle?" I blare in interruption once again. "You were definitely working an angle. Which angle was next? Her legs around your waist? Your body over hers? If you'll excuse me, I've had enough visual scars left behind by your angles for one night!"
He holds me tighter, refusing to let me go.
"I won't let you leave until you listen to me. This is nothing. She's nothing. It's a fucking job, Alyssa - a means of gathering Intel."
"Let. Me. Go."
"No," he says, his stubbornness steadily becoming nothing more than a futile attempt to maintain control over the situation.
"Don't make me hurt you," I growl, my eyes still flipping through their random shades.
"Alyssa, you can't hurt me. I'm twice as strong as you while you're in your mortal f-"
Before he can finish that foolish statement, he's sailing backwards, digging up dirt and rocks and then slamming into the lake with a thunderous splash. When he starts to climb out, feeling the weight of my hit in his chest, I hit him again with another powerful blow, this time using his body to tear down trees across the yard.
The loud crashes draw out startled and curious spectators. I'm forced to stop tearing the dark user apart. His eye isn't cut because of the trees; it's because of my power. That second slap of force caught him like a right uppercut.
He spits out blood in near shock, never having known the strength I've held back for the safety of others. I stare down at him, kneeling when I reach him so I can whisper.
"Don't forget where I come from. Stay. The fuck. Away. From. Me. Or I'll finish the job."
The darkness in my tone is unmistakable. The powerful high is taking me, and I love it. The grass beneath me wilts before turning to ash, and Gage's eyes widen, stunned and engrossed in the show of power consuming me.
Thunder rumbles across the sky, sounding out my rage, and I lift my head back to revel in the harsh rain that begins pelting like bullets against my face.
"Alyssa, you have to stop, baby," Gage says, but that just pisses me off more.
"Baby? You're one stupid son of a bitch. Call me anything again, and I'll cut your tongue out."
As the earth cleanses me, I feel the high slipping, the darkness falling away with the rain. At least it's brief when it comes, but it's so painful when it goes.
I gasp hard as it flees me completely, and the rain hides the tears that start to fall.
"Don't ever, ever speak to me again," I choke out through strained emotion.
I turn away, ready to walk back to Edgebrook even if it takes me days. I refuse to stay here.
"What the hell?" Kane asks as he rushes over to Gage.
"I just really fucked up. Stop her. Don't let her go alone."
I don't want the night stalker who broke my heart seeing me fall apart at the hands of another follower of the dark. I decide to run and leave them behind. I can find a car on the way. I need out of all of this.
"Alyssa!" The very sound of Kane yelling for me threatens to infuriate me all the more.
"No! Go away!"
He grabs me from behind and whirls me around.
"It's too fucking dangerous for you to go storming off into the night. Get in the car, and I'll drive you home."
My teeth grind together as I shake my head, wiping my tears as I let an exasperated, exhausted, and bitter laugh free. "You just love this, don’t you?"
"Alyssa, I don't even know what the hell is going on. Just get in the car, and you can tell me on the way back."
I push his hand away when he tries to tug me at the elbow, and Zee runs up to join us.
"Someone want to clue me in?" he asks, looking from me to Gage who is working hard to knock out the humans' memories from the last few minutes.
"Mr. Magic got frisky with the wrong girl," Dice chirps, acting as though he's getting high right now.
"Shut your mouth, Dice," Gage interjects when he joins us, then he turns to me. "Alyssa, please. I swear this is business."
I cross my arms, my heart beating too fast to keep a rhythm. "It sure as hell looked more like pleasure to me." Then I turn back to Kane who seems to be piecing it all together. "Zee can drive me back. You can take that twisted freak with you."
"Hey," Dice spews, feigning offense.
"Why are you taking this out on me?" Kane gripes, glancing over at Gage who is gripping his head.
"Because the two of you are the worst things that ever happened to me." Kane's face drops, as though I've wounded him. I don't care. I don't care that Gage looks like I've just ripped his heart out. "I want both of you gone. I can take care of myself."
Zee tightens his lips, but he nods - reluctantly so. Apparently I've also insulted him by taking a shot at Kane.
"Forget it. I'll call a cab. None of you had better return to my house. Your shit will be in the yard in a few hours. You can get it from there."
I start walking off, but Zee grabs my hand this time. "What did I do?"
I glare at him while he feigns innocence.
"You're with Kane. That's obvious. Right now, I'm alone. I'd rather be alone while I'm alone."
"What did I do?" Dice asks in confusion, like the idiot he is.
"You love this. You're feeding off of it. I know an incubus loves a good argument between lovers. It fuels you more than feeding. Go. To. Hell."
He raises his arms up, genuinely perplexed. "It's my nature. Don't hold that against me. Right now, I'm almost buzzing because it's so thick with sexual energy being released from your anger."
Gage starts to touch me, but I jerk back, leaving him to grab only air. "I mean it. I want all of you out."
I walk off, pulling out my phone and scrolling through web to find the number to a cab company. Screw them all. I'd rather die alone than with people so willing to break me around every turn.
With my mother struggling with her own issues, Frankie dealing with her, and Aunt Hilly going through her withdrawal from the light officials, my family is indisposed. I really miss Thad right now.
It's sad to say that I barely knew him, but he was my only real friend. Now... I don't have anyone.
No one chases me this time, and I'm thankful for that. I'm sick of all the ups and downs. I'm ready to just go back to being Alyssa Coldwell and enjoying my mortal life while it still exists.
As promised, I used my magic to throw everyone's shit outside, and then I recast the spell to keep everyone out. But I keep forgetting Kane is frigging immune.
He strolls in, unaffected by the death glare I'm offering him from the corner of my house. I hold my hot tea to me, letting the aroma try to bring me calmness. It's not working.
"Alyssa, we need to talk."
I say nothing. I just look away, refusing to acknowledge him. I keep hoping if I shut my eyes, I'll open them to see he has left me in peace.
"Fine. I'll talk," he says with exasperation. "Gage told me what happened, and I realize you're pissed at him, but that has absolutely nothing to do with Zee or me. You're still welcome to hate Dice. That guy's a prick."
Involuntarily, the corners of my lips try to tug into a smile, but I refrain, banishing the reaction too quickly for him to fully notice before he continues.
"You need us here, and we need you to be around. Personally, I'd like to have someone other than Zee vouching for my whereabouts at all times, since this bitch is trying to set me up. He's my best friend, so it'd be hard for them to take his word. You need someone vouching for you as well."
I lean back, letting his words fully resonate before countering, "I'll call Drackus, and I'll see if he can send someone less abhorrent than Dice. As for you staying, the answer is no. You know plenty of people who can vouch for you. Don't play that game. I can't do this anymore. I was in love with you, and you destroyed me. Then I fell for Gage, thinking someone cared about me enough to make it matter, but again I was destroyed. And I thought my mother had bad taste in men."
I stand up to walk away, but he catches my free hand in his while I hold my tea a little tighter.
"You really were in love with me, weren't you? It wasn't a game or a scheme of any kind?"
"Don't do this right now, Kane. I'm hurt enough as it is. With you and Gage, my heart is smashed. With the loss of Thad, I'm aching. Just leave me in peace instead of pieces this time. Please."
He tightens his lips, his hand still holding mine, but he finally releases me.
"You had no idea what I was. I just assumed you did because you never revealed your mark. All witches reveal their marks upon entering any type of friendship or relationship."
I breathe out heavily, realizing his reason for suspicion. He sits down on my sofa, acting as though it's all sinking in. I sit back down beside him and hold my hand out - my palm facing up as I slide the back of my hand onto his leg.
"This is something you can't tell anyone... including Zee, Deke, or any of the others."
He narrows his eyes as he silently questions my intentions.
"Okay. I can manage that. You don't want me to tell them about your palm? Should I be reading it or something?"
I smile slightly, and then I take a steadying breath. "Don't break physical contact or this will hurt."
He tenses but nods. The lines of my palm shift, change, and meld together to form the mark I've rarely shown. The lights spark and sizzle, red and blue fusing together and growing stronger by the second until he starts to grow dizzy beside me.
His eyes are forced to glow blue to prove his night stalker nature. His fangs peek out of hiding, but I'm not afraid. Instead of viewing him like he's a monster, I find him beautiful. The purity of him being so unguarded as he's forced to reveal himself is almost endearing. He slinks back - my magic being more than he can tolerate in his weakened state. It lets me know he's not completely immune after all.
"Fuck," he murmurs breathlessly as the power subsides, sinking back down to slumber, and I pull my hand away.
"That's why I didn't use it. If you had been human, that would have killed you. It's not something I tell anyone outside of my family very often. As a matter of fact, there are now five people who know - you, Mom, Dad, me, and Gage."
He huffs, leaning his head back, and I watch as the glowing blues fizzle from sight. The darkness in my house hides his brilliant greens, but his tense posture tells me he realizes I was telling the truth. I'm not ready for this conversation. I don't know if I ever will be.
"A witch and a night stalker together but oblivious to the truth about each other. The entire fey nation would laugh at that," he almost groans out, rubbing his face in exasperation.
"Well, we're not together anymore. Now we're a witch and a night stalker with scars." I sigh, admiring his dark beauty in the shadows of the room.
So many things have happened since we met, split up, and somehow became entwined due to a couple of crazy bitches.
"Alyssa, I-"
"Kane, please go. Right now, I need some time alone. I keep trusting all the wrong people, and it's starting to take its toll on me."
He pulls my hand to his lips, and he kisses the palm where my mark was just shining.
"I'm sorry," he says so softly. "For all of it. I thought... I was-"
"Please don't do this," I whimper, pulling away from his clutches. "This night has overwhelmed me enough."
I can't deal with him regretting his cold and callous actions right now. I can't deal with the fact we quite possibly threw everything we had away because we were both too afraid to trust the other based on what we are. That's not love. It never was. We just fooled ourselves into thinking it was.
He sighs out hard, and then he stands up. "I'm not going far. I'll be back tomorrow. Get some rest tonight."
He leans down and kisses the top of my head, making the butterflies in my stomach ruffle. When did my life get so confusing? The only two men I've ever been with are polar opposites yet exactly the same.
As soon as my door shuts, I hear Gage's voice. "You were supposed to explain what the hell happened, not work your own angle, you asshole."
Kane laughs and I move to the window, barely peeking out behind the curtain to watch them. Gage looks distraught and exhausted, like he's the one who just saw me making out with someone random at a party.
"You're on your own. This whole thing just changed, and I'm not about to let you have her."
Gage almost growls at him, but Dray shows up before punches can be thrown. He stayed with Amy, Sierra, and Deke to finish healing Amy once his strength returned. He looks dumbfounded by the overload of testosterone on the front lawn.
"Why are we standing out here, and where's Alyssa?"
Dice strolls into the mix, his extreme leather getup probably scraping against his body as he nearly skips in delight. I wish he was mortal. Then that leather would chafe him.
"Mr. Magic had the girl, but he forgot to warn her about the perks of his position in the Somage. Fang boy over here just realized the girl of his dreams really did love him the whole time. Now a duel is in place to find out which bloke gets the girl. I'm rooting for them to kill each other so I can get a little closer to the only girl I've ever known to be so resistant to my charms."
I roll my eyes while silently mocking a gag. Kane swats Dice's useless input away before walking off with his hands in his pockets. My heart has stopped beating. Kane can't possibly want me back; not after all we've endured with our rude awakenings.
"Kane, we need to stay here," Dray calls, bringing Kane's retreat to a halt.
"Alyssa has requested we leave her in peace for the night. She's earned at least one night's reprieve from all of this... All of us."
"I'm not leaving," Gage growls.
"Neither am I, but we can't stay in the house. I'll be in my car if anyone needs me," Kane says with a devious smirk, his eyes catching my spying ones before giving me a wink.
I instantly slide against the wall, vanishing from sight before anyone else catches me. I should have known he'd feel my eyes on him.
Suddenly a loud pounding erupts against the window, making me wish I had extended the barrier. I pull the curtain back to see Gage staring in, heartbroken as he presses his forehead against the window.
"Please talk to me, Alyssa. You know that was business. I had to get a lead, and we need to talk about what I've found out. Please, just let me in."
I sigh out heavily, knowing this night is only getting longer.
"Tomorrow morning. Not until then. We'll only discuss things pertinent to the threats at hand. If you mention one thing about us, I'll kick you out."
He pops his head against the window again, growing frustrated before slapping the side of the house and cursing aloud.
"Damn it, Alyssa. You know how I feel about you. You know what we have isn't something I would mess up to fuck around with some stupid human."
"Labels aren't really your thing, so I don't know what we had, but I do know it's over. I'm not my mother. I won't listen to the ramblings of a man caught in the act. Just go get a hotel room. Leave me alone. We'll all talk tomorrow."
His silver ring falls between his teeth along with his lower lip. Finally, after a long, drawn-out pause, he murmurs, "I'll be in my car. I'm not leaving."
Dray steps to the door to knock once, and he stares at me peering through the window.
"Am I also going to have to sleep in a car?"
His small grin taunts the two men who are now supposedly dueling over me - according to the twisted incubus.
"You can go sleep in a hotel. I'm going to enjoy my house for a night without anyone talking about what I need to do."
He frowns. Apparently he had expected to show the boys up. Zee slouches down beside Kane, taking the passenger seat in his car and reclining back. Are they really going to sleep outside?
"Fine," I grumble in defeat. "No one talks to me. I'm going to my room... alone. I don't want lectures, advice, or explanations from anyone. Got it?"
Dray smiles, giving me one nod, and then I silently chant them in. Gage, Zee, and Dray can come in. It's not like Kane needs an invitation.
After being magically inclined to do so, the door swings open. Dray steps in first, followed by Zee. Gage steps in, his eyes searching mine for forgiveness, but I look away. Next, Kane walks in, a small, dangerous smile playing on his lips as he brushes by me, deliberately trying to send chills over my body.
I couldn't get him to be nice to me for five seconds just a week ago, and now he's flirting? I hate immortals.
Dice walks in... or tries to. Snickers break free as he's thrown backwards, digging up the ground as the unexpected force of my barricade slings him away. I walk toward the door, a devilish grin on my face.
"Who's smiling now? You can sleep outside."
I slam the door, making a few more chuckles erupt, but Gage is stone-faced when I turn around.
"I'll take you up on your offer," Kane says, bringing my eyes away from Gage and to him.
"My what?" I ask skeptically.
He smiles, taking a step closer as he does. "Your offer to help me. I'll take you up on it. I'll need to be at my strongest when we face whoever this is. Walking through your barricade was harder than it should have been. When do you want to do it? And how?"
He would pick right now to do this. This air is already too thick to breathe as it is.
"Um, it's actually simple. I'll give you a little bit of my blood, and then I'll cast the spell that will free you. We can do it early tomorrow or now. Whichever you prefer."
That leaves me squirming, considering the intimacy required to complete the spell.
"We can do it now and get it over with."
"Your spells won't work on him, Alyssa. He's immune to your magic," Gage quickly interjects, eyeing the night stalker with his best I-want-you-dead glare.
"This one will. It's not from light or dark magic, but from unaligned. I found it in Drackus's library," I insert, deliberately refraining from meeting his eyes.
Gage's jaw tenses, his mind racing to find a way to counter that. He knows he can't. If Drackus's magic worked on Castine, then it'll work on Kane.
"Let's go to the kitchen," I mumble, growing tired of the stifling silence and all the eyes on me.
"Or we could go to my room," Kane seductively releases, bringing me back to a time when I would just dissolve from that tone.
Damn it. I'm still dissolving.
"Hell no," Gage asserts, coming to step between us.
"The last I checked, you blew your chances," Kane quips. "Therefore, you lost your right to object."
"The last I checked, you blew your chances first," Gage growls.
Dray smirks as he leans against the wall, seeming to enjoy this. A dark user and a night stalker are fighting over a light witch. Usually when such a thing is going on, it's because they're fighting about which dark force gets to kill the light one. This is so messed up.
"The kitchen will be fine for this. Stop fighting or I'll kick you both back out."
They both cease fire and Kane trails me as I head into the kitchen. I turn around to see Gage propping up against the wall, his eyes not moving from me.
"Do we need an audience for this?" Kane asks, his head motioning to a glaring Gage.
"Gage can stay until it's time for the spell, then he has to leave. Otherwise, it could hurt him."
"How?" Gage grumbles. "I've never heard of such a thing, and I've been using magic for a while."
"Have you been around spells thought up by Drackus?" I ask, looking up from the table where I'm assembling the necessary supplies - knife, silver, and a candle.
I know candles are so cliché as far as "witchcraft" goes, but Drackus has a flare for such things. I wasn't surprised when I saw it on the list of ingredients.
Holding the knife to my hand, I shake a little. I look up to see Gage concentrating far too hard on me, making me nervous.
"I changed my mind. You can go ahead and go. I can't do this when you're staring at me."
He huffs slightly and then walks out, disappearing from sight as he goes to rejoin the others. Kane stifles a grin, but I pretend not to notice.
I waft the candle flame, per Drackus's instructions - again, with the cliché theatrics. I let the cool steel bite my soft, still mortal flesh.
The blade burns against my skin as the pain sinks in, but I block it out as the blood pours. The silver - a solid silver coin I keep on hand - goes into my hand so I can cover it in my blood.
Kane struggles to keep his control as the need to fulfill his need for my blood becomes harder with the strong scent of the red slipping freely from my veins. I'm dreading the intimacy of this spell, but if it works, then it'll be justified in the end.
I step closer, and press the coin against his chest, using my magic to make it stay in place.
"Can I ask what the coin is for?" he muses, trying to act unaffected, though he's clearly shaking.
"Silver is a great grounding mechanism for magic. It'll hold the power to you, letting you absorb the spell instead of it half-ass working."
He smirks, and then I shiver as I stare at my hand. "This next part is a little... intimate. I have to draw the blood to my mouth and deliver it to yours."
He smiles bigger, seeming to enjoy that. "And you were going to let him watch? You're a little more spiteful than I realized."
Maybe I am spiteful, but I chickened out, unable to do to Gage what he did to me.
"Just be careful not to nick me with your fangs. That'll ruin the spell. It'll be intense for a second; you'll need to hold onto me. Once I've delivered the blood to your mouth, I'll silently chant the spell, and you're going to get dizzy. If it gets too bad, let me know, and I'll give you more blood."
He nods while parting his legs for me to come stand between as I pull the blood from my hand to my mouth. The bitter tang of metallic red taints my mouth. I'm ready to hurry up and get rid of it before I'm sick.
He smiles a little more as I lean forward. His hands grip me at my waist, pulling me closer, his touch feeling so familiar and so much better than I remember. Then again, I'm very vulnerable right now.
My lips slide over his as I pour the blood in, and like the devil he is, he slips his tongue into my mouth, pulling me closer to make this more like a kiss than a transfer. I almost give in, but when his grip tightens, I remember what I'm supposed to be doing.
I pull back, leaving him breathless as the high of my blood rushes him, and he licks his lips while gripping my ass.
Free from me, free from my blood; Let all the ties be undone.
I had been expecting him to get dizzy, but I hadn't expected this to make me so fuzzy. He pulls me closer as the room seems to spin around us, making me clutch him for stability.
"More," he whispers, and I pull my hand to my mouth, drawing in the blood and then I proceed pouring it into his mouth once more.
This time, one of his hands tangles in my hair as his other grips me at my waist and forces me into the kiss. I remind myself it's the blood, the addiction, and the intimate spell. It'd be nice if Drackus could draw up something that didn't have me kissing my ex with a mouthful of my own blood.
He moans as his tongue plays in my mouth, but I withdraw, steadying myself after the heady flow of the power starts to subside.
"Kiss me," he murmurs softly. "Kiss me because you want to."
I shiver at his request as tears breach my eyes. "No."
He jerks me back to him, standing to press me against the counter. "I'm cured; you're free from the bond... Kiss me. Let's see how real we are."
I stare up at him, wishing I could go back, but I can't. Too much has been said. Too much has changed.
I grab the bandaging materials I had laid out, and I start wrapping my hand while he hovers over me, making my work space very small between us. I focus on wrapping my bleeding hand, ignoring his grip on my sides as I speak.
"It's like you've forgotten what we are - enemies by nature. I'm prey; you're predator. Not to mention, you've been ruthless, tearing me down with each breath. That's not forgotten simply because you realize you were wrong. On top of all that, we weren't real. We couldn't trust each other, so we freaked out the second we were tested."
"Alyssa, anyone in our situation would have freaked out. You're still mine. Nothing has changed. You're not my prey... At least not in the sense you're stating." He gives me a sly wink which forces me to blush. "We fell in love for real. We can get us back. Kiss me."
He leans forward, but I slide out of his grasp just in time, my bandaging done, though my hand still stings. "You fell in love with a human girl. I fell in love with a human guy. We only thought we knew each other, Kane. Everything has changed. Not to mention, you shattered my heart. You were so-"
"I know," he groans, gripping his hair in frustration. I see genuine regret in his eyes, but I refuse to fall prey. "I hate the way I acted, but I was wrong. Alyssa, I still lov-"
"Don't say it," I interrupt, holding up an interfering hand. "Please, don't say it. Just let me go to bed. All I came in here to do was cure you of me. I didn't want to hash out our screwed-up relationship."
His shoulders drop and he nods. "For now, I'll let it rest. We'll just have to get to know each other... for real this time. You'll see we're still the same two people that fell in love."
I officially have a migraine.
I walk out of the kitchen while massaging my temples to see the others in a huddle with a white board laid across my coffee table. It's a good thing this house is too big for me, otherwise, Gage wouldn't have a bed tonight.
I look at him just as his saddened eyes find mine. "You can take the last room. I'm sure you've figured out by now that I don't want you in my bed."
He huffs out, barely nodding, and then Dray stands to walk over to me. "Let me see your hand."
I hand him the bandaged hand to see the blood has started seeping out and dripping. I guess I cut it deeper than I realized. The throbbing is painful, but I've learned to shut pain out... physical pain - not extreme physical pain, but this isn't extreme.
I feel something warming me, flowing through my veins, as the throbbing yields and the blood flowing from the wound slows to a halt. He smiles as he unwraps my hand to show the healed surface that has left no trace of the mark left behind.
I gasp at how perfect it looks, and then my eyes find his. "Can you heal old scars?"
He tilts his head curiously. "You mean the one left behind by-"
"Yeah. I figured you knew about it. Can you make it go away so I never have to see it again?"
He frowns, and Kane's hand slides up my back as Dray answers. "I wish I could, Alyssa. Your father asked me the same thing years ago. Dragon's breath venom scars a mortal if the night stalker is of a strong sire. There's nothing I can do. It's amazing you ever even survived that attack."
I just nod; grateful I can at least mask it. It was miraculous I survived. It just goes to show the strength of the magic inside me. Any other mortal would have slipped away quickly.
"It was worth a shot," I murmur softly, moving away from Kane's touch and out from under Gage's glare. "I'm going to bed."
"We're discussing the leads Gage was able obtain," Dray chirps, trying to keep me from retreating to the folds of my glorious bed.
My right eyebrow cocks up as I turn my gaze on Gage while speaking to the dark angel instead of the dark user. "I'm sure he worked hard for those leads, but I'll let you fill me in on the details in the morning. I'm too tired to try to process anymore tonight. Some of us are still mortal."
"Very well, Alyssa. We'll see you in the morning." Dray's paternal tone bids me ado, and I head up the stairs, away from the eyes burning against my back.
While walking over to my dresser, I use my magic to shut and lock the door. I'm exhausted, and my tears don't take long to start falling. Gage was the one to pick me up when Kane broke me, and now he's the one who has left me in shambles.
I don't intend on letting Kane pick up the pieces. I still love him - as much as I hate to admit it - but I can't go back.
I smile as I stare down at the luxurious fabrics in the drawer. One thing is for sure, Drackus has exquisite taste. I should have thanked him a little better for the hefty amount of clothes he gave me.
Changing into a soft, long white gown, I stare into the mirror at the girl with blond hair and teary eyes. The sexy ensemble makes me think back to the first night with Gage. It hurts to feel betrayed, more so than I imagined.
Kane betrayed me, but not intentionally. Still, he's intended to be my enemy. It's hard for me not to feel brainwashed right now. Everything I've believed in for so long is constantly proven to be half-truths.
Not all dark are evil. That doesn't mean Kane and I can ever be. Gage was so perfect until he wasn't. The two of them are really driving me crazy.
I definitely have a migraine.
I drop to my bed, only covering the lower half of my body with the sheet as I stare at the ceiling. As my thoughts wander around aimlessly, a small breeze stirs for Gage to materialize on the bed next to me.
"Please just go away," I groan while rolling over to my side.
His arm slides around my waist as he snuggles up next to me, letting his body spoon with mine. I stiffen against his touch that always makes me warmer.
"Alyssa, I don't want to lose you. I didn't do anything with her besides what you saw. It's just a tactic to seduce information out of someone - more flies with honey and all that. I swear I only did it to get information. You know I want to be with you."
He rolls me over to see the fresh spill of tears on my face, and he wipes my cheek with his thumb as I finally stare into his eyes.
"I don't know anything anymore. I've trusted two men with something as intimate as a person can offer, and both of you have hurt me in your own ways. Maybe we should just take a step back. I don't want to be with you right now. After seeing you with her... It's not the same. You looked at her the way you look at me. I feel as played as she probably does."
He sighs out hard while pressing his forehead to mine. Before I realize what he's doing, his lips are pressed against mine. He jerks my hips to meet his center, letting me feel his arousal as he kisses me harder.
During a moment of pure weakness, I clutch him to me, reveling in the feel of his body against mine no matter how wrong it is. His tongue plays with mine, the heated metal in his mouth delighting me to my core.
At last, sanity returns and I push him back. "Stop. Just get out. I can't do this."
"Alyssa, I want-"
"I said get out!"
My door swings open, and Kane appears with glowing blue eyes, ready to fight until he sees I'm screaming at Gage.
Gage puffs, kissing me lightly on the forehead, and then he rolls out of the bed. Having both of them in my room feels so dirty. I feel dirty. I've officially had my lips on both of theirs in the same night a few times now. Are you a slut even if you've only been with two guys?
I don't want to be a slut.
Gage pushes Kane to the side as he storms out, feeling rejected. Kane shuts the door, but remains in my room.
"Don't," I mumble while holding my hand up in a stop motion. "I just want to sleep, damn it. Please go."
He smiles and walks over to me, making me shiver as he sits on the edge of my bed. He brushes my hair from my face and leans over to kiss me on the cheek - a lingering kiss.
He stands and heads back to the door, but he stops short of opening it. "I love you, Alyssa. That's all I have to say."
With that, he's out the door before my mind can process his retreat.
Fucking immortals.