Chapter 4
Lost
My stomach tenses as I walk through the gates of the Light Council's chambers. No one has told me much about my mother's state, but then again, they're not usually the most helpful creatures.
Thanks to Gage constantly pointing out their flaws, I'm starting to grow weary of all their foolish rules and hypocrisy. Everything we stand for seems to be a joke when it's all on the line.
It took us hours to get here, and now the sunlight has returned. I'm exhausted, so tired my eyes keep trying to close, but I refuse to sleep before I see my mother. I have to see her. I have to know she's really safe again. I should have come sooner despite the protests of the council and Frankie.
I push through the healing room to find my mother's supposed bed empty, crisp, and perfectly made. There's no sign of anyone being in here for a while.
I glance around to find nothing to prove she has ever been here. With a growl in my throat, I get ready to start shaking some answers out of people when I suddenly slam into a body.
"Lyss?" Frankie asks in disbelief as I stagger backwards. "What are you doing here?"
"You knew I would be coming. Where's Mom?"
I'm not backing down. She's my mother, and I should be here for her the way she's always been there for me.
"She's in the courtyard. She's healed now. Hasn't she called you?"
Since when doesn't Mom tell Frankie every detail of her daily activities. He's like her personal vent friend.
"I haven't heard from her at all. That's why I'm here."
He frowns, seeming disappointed by that. He nods and then moves out of my way as I head to the courtyard. Suspense builds in my stomach as the tears ready themselves to flow. When I reach the courtyard, they drop like a monsoon.
My mother's blond hair whips in the wind as she works on the rose garden in front of her.
"Mom," my hoarse voices releases in a near whisper.
She turns around swiftly, and a soft smile graces her lips as she opens her arms for me to run to. I dart across the yard to close the distance between us, and she curls me to her as I dive into her arms.
"Why the hell haven't you called?" I sob out, sniffling between breaths as I hold her tighter.
"Oh, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. It's been a hell of a few weeks. I didn't know what to say to you. I was trying to wait until I could hold it together."
I just cry that much harder as her firmer than usual lips stroke my forehead.
"What happened?"
She shakes her head, pulling back and wiping her eyes before the tears even start to fall.
"I really don't want to talk about it. I've been grilled by the council for weeks. I've recounted every detail I can, but I have no idea who they were, what they were, or even what they needed me for."
My lips tighten as I stare at the woman I thought to be unbreakable. Throughout her many centuries, she's dealt with more than any other being I know. She's had her share of heartache, pain, and unspeakable torture, but I've never seen her fragile... until now. Ordinarily, she'd be ready to go after these sons of bitches.
"Let's talk about you instead. Frankie told me you had a boyfriend who turned out to be an immortal playing a trick on you."
She says it so coldly, nothing like the ginger steps she would normally take around such a sore subject. I suppose it's selfish of me to even expect her to make room for my petty problems, given the magnitude of what she's just endured.
I'm glad Frankie apparently omitted the part about Kane being a night stalker. Mom has enough on her.
"Yeah. I felt like an idiot, but I'm okay," I lie, making light of the heavy situation.
She smiles, though it's not the warm, make-me-feel-all-better smile she usually bears.
"Sweetie, you will get over him. I swear."
Sweetie? She knows I hate that term of endearment. It's what the night stalker called me before sinking his teeth into my flesh when I was seventeen.
Once again, I'm expecting her to focus solely on me, and that's too selfish. With all she's had going on, it's fine if she slips up and calls me the wrong name.
"I know I will. It's just, now I'm bonded to him apparently, since he was my first."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I completely forgot about that."
I guess Frankie already told her. Great. She had better not mention socks.
"Next time I'll be a little more careful and definitely more suspicious," I add, still not showing her the pain I'm in.
I literally found a room full of immortally crafted toys - a dark dungeon full of tainted proof - and I overlooked it. How stupid am I?
"Next time just use your mark, dear. That's what it's for."
I stop speaking at that moment. She knows I can't do that.
Before I can pipe up, a woman cloaked in white walks in and tugs at her blond strands of hair as she crosses through the path of roses.
"Calypso, you're needed in the chambers now. Sorry to interrupt."
Mom smiles at her, a gracious, completely fake smile I've never seen her use before. Then she turns to me with that same phony smile.
"I love you, sweetie. I'll talk to you later."
With that, she's gone, vaporized into thin air.
Frankie is nowhere to be seen, but he wouldn't believe me if I told him. Instead of searching for him, I run full speed out of the council headquarters. I never slow down as I head to Gage’s car.
I pound on the hotel room, and Gage swings the door open, catching me as I almost collapse.
"What the hell, Alyssa?"
"It's not her, Gage. It's not my mom."
"What?" His confusion is genuine as he helps me into the room. He wraps me up in his arms as he pulls me into his lap, and we both fall to the sofa. "Why are you saying she's not your mom?"
"She called me sweetie. Twice. I've told you before why I'd break your face if you ever called me that."
He seems confused by this. Apparently, that's not enough proof. "O...kay. Alyssa, your mom just went through a traumatic ordeal. It's going to take a while-"
"She told me I should have shown Kane my mark. Other than me, three people know that it's deadly to a human. You, my father, and my mother. This imposter didn't know that or she wouldn't have said it."
This time I've got his attention.
"Alright, but that's obviously not something you can take to the council."
"I know it's flimsy at best, but I swear something's wrong. My mother would never say that. She was there when I killed that guy."
I shiver as the memories flood back to me, and then I banish them with the small chant Mom taught me long ago.
He tightens his lips, seeming uncertain about whether or not he should say anything else.
"Okay, so you think a changer is there in her place?"
"No, she vaporized, so it has to be a witch or warlock."
He starts to shake his head, and I realize he doesn’t believe me at all.
"Alyssa, I've seen guys forget their children's names after an ordeal like your mother just faced. It's her, babe. She's just a little lost right now. It's impossible for a witch or warlock to change their identity for more than a few hours at a time. Not to mention, after they've done it once, the spell essentially has to reboot for at least a couple of weeks after they use it.
"The symbols and spells protecting that place could hold out anyone. It'd be impossible for an imposter to make it through there. I know this is tough, but it's her. She's just not herself yet. Maybe that's why she was waiting to speak to you. Physically, her body is healed. Mentally... that could take a while."
I lean back, soaking in his words. Maybe he's right. I don't know what she went through, but there's no magical way that's not her. I can't believe I acted so crazy.
"Do you want to stay here for a couple of days?" he asks as he reclines back on the sofa.
I'm still in his lap, and now I realize that's probably inappropriate.
"Yeah. I'm going to see my Aunt Hilly while I'm here. Since the whole incident with my mother, she's been regarding the light council as assholes. She's still staying close by for the sake of my mother, but she's not doing their bidding any longer. She was their number one undercover... and I shouldn't be sharing that information with a dark user."
Big mouth girl.
He laughs a little, and I head over to his bed, unsure of whether or not he got one room or two.
"You're never going to view me as anything more than a dark user, are you?"
I view you as someone I'd desperately like to see naked. I blame this stupid aura problem.
"It's hard to do since I'm supposed to be wary of you. Besides, it's not like you've shared any deep secrets with me."
"Haven't I? I clued you in on the existence of the Somage. It's definitely a big secret amongst my people."
True. He has me there. Though I was apparently one of the few people who believed the Somage to be a mere rumor. Most everyone else knew they were real. That's just how frigging naive I am. And that's not the same as sharing Intel on who's who in the undercover departments.
"What about your mom?" I ask, turning this more personal and pushing away the attention. "You've never divulged anything about her. Not to mention, you've never told me how you knew I was Drackus's daughter."
He stands up and comes to lie down beside me while flipping on the television. His long-sleeved, ribbed, red shirt looks so good against his golden skin and dark hair. I try not to acknowledge my carnal craziness as he finally answers.
"My mother is a sore subject. She's psycho. I mean that very literally. Drackus... well, he's got a worse rep than he deserves. However, he'd probably kick my ass if he knew I was here with you. I know him well enough to know he wouldn't kill me, but he'd sure as hell-"
"You work for him? I thought you said you didn't."
I suddenly feel hurt. I knew Thad only stuck around because of his devout loyalty to my father, but I thought Gage was here for me.
Why do I keep giving the bad boys a benefit of the doubt?
"Hey, I don't work for him. Never have, never will. Like I just said, he'd kick my ass if he knew I was here. I'm here because I want to be. And let's face it; you don't exactly have anyone else sticking up for you right now. What happened to your light warlock friend?"
I let a small huff of a laugh free. "Frankie? He's not my friend; he's my mother's friend. He's going to be up her ass for a while. This whole disappearance scared the hell out of him."
"Well, see there? You need me. Stop trying to pick a fight with me. I'm smarter than you think."
I let a small smirk free, and then my hand lifts up to touch his eyebrow ring.
"Don't let it be Thad," I mutter absentmindedly, focusing my attention on the piercing.
My eyes finally fall to his as he tilts his head, curiosity clearly shining through his bemused blues as he stares at me expectantly.
"Don't let what be Thad?"
My gaze moves back, fixating on the spiky metal I'm touching once more.
"If I get to a point where my aura is too much... just don't let it be him. I love him to death, but he's such a pervert."
He scoffs lightly under his breath while turning his nose up.
"I can swear to you I won't let that happen. But what are you going to do?"
I rise up, taking in all the possibilities. Everyday this thing connecting me to Kane gets stronger and it's starting to physically hurt more and more.
"Will you... I know I don't have any right to ask, but if it reaches the point where something has to be done... Will you be the one..."
I can't finish the question, but it's still out there. Gage lets a smirk fall free by accident, and he tries to cover it quickly.
"Of course. I was hoping you'd ask while you were sane and sober. I'll be here when you need me, and all the times in between as well. Just don't tell-"
"Believe me. I swear I won't tell anyone, especially not my father if that's what you're asking."
"Embarrassed?" he jokes, though I see a hint of honest insult in his eyes.
"No, but I don't feel like hearing the lectures. Considering my first time was with a night stalker, I'd prefer it if everyone didn't know I just propositioned a dark user as well."
His throaty laughter vibrates through me, and then he leans back on the pillow behind him. After a few seconds of his chuckling release, his laughter tapers off.
"If Thad hadn't walked in on us in that room, you'd already be free from that bond. Problem is, I don't think you would have forgiven me."
I've thought about that experience more than I care to admit aloud. I'd like to tell him I was more pissed about the fact he didn't do it than I would have been if he had.
"It's not like you could help it, first of all. Secondly, if we had done it, then so what. I just asked you to help me out when the time comes."
"True. I wish I had known that. It could have saved me some hypothermia."
I laugh lightly at his joke as I curl into his body. His hand slides around my waist, and we both just lie there in silence until I yawn.
"Did you get me my own room?"
"Yeah. You're right next door," he says while turning down the television a little.
"Can I just stay with you today?"
I feel his smile against my forehead as he kisses it. "That sounds good."
Within seconds, I'm off in another land, taking in the air like I'm a human without a care, as the world of dreams offers me my desired escape.
"Your mom looks good, doesn't she?" Aunt Hilly asks as she sits across the table from me.
I take a bite of the sandwich just as the waitress comes to refill our glasses. Mom didn't look like Mom to me, but I won't disclose my freak-out with Aunt Hilly.
"Yes, she does. Um... by any chance, have you talked to Frankie? He seems a little... distracted. I tried calling him today, but he was too busy to talk."
She nods as she folds her napkin in her lap and leans back from her food.
"He's just stressed out, dear. You know how torn up about her disappearance he was. He's just a little hesitant about leaving her side right now. Don't worry. It'll all be fine. Your mother is one tough woman."
I smile, still feeling uncertain about how tough she really is. Everyone has a breaking point, and Mom has had a rough enough life for this to be her final straw.
Our chitchat turns idler, and I start to feel a distance between us. I think with all that's going on with her, she's starting to feel the weight of the life she's chosen. It makes me question my alignment with the light. Though I'd never go dark, no one says I have to stay light.
My dad is unaligned. A few others have chosen his path. I'd have to learn a whole new way of magic, but I'm starting to think it might be worth it.
"Oh, by the way, I found that information you wanted... about Castine. You're not thinking about going after her, are you?"
Her concern is genuine, but I can't tell her what's going on.
"Of course not, but I like to be well versed on all the special-circumstance beings. Lately, I've learned she's a little more than just a night stalker."
She nods as she pulls out a leather-bound book. As she hands it to me, a page falls free to reveal handwritten passages. It almost looks like a journal.
"Indeed. She's not something you should be messing with. She's vicious, merciless, and completely insane. She's an old-school killer, sweet niece. Don't start a fight you'll never win."
I clutch the book to me, looking her in the eyes. "I don't intend to, but I know someone who does. I want him to have the facts before hand. Thanks for this. Where'd you get it?"
An enigmatic smirk quirks up. "Let's just say the light library is short a book now. They'll never know it's missing as long as you return it to me soon. Just call it our little secret. I think you might be able to use this one, too."
She hands me another, old fragile book, and I add it to my bag to hide it with the one on Castine. I smile, and then I stand to my feet while tossing the napkin to my plate.
"Thanks for lunch, Aunt Hilly. And for the Intel. I need to get back."
She smiles softly, and then she stands to offer me a noninvasive hug. After her light embrace ends, I walk out, pulling my phone from my purse.
Punching in the number I never thought I'd use, I anxiously wait for the ringing to turn into a voice.
"Yeah," a gruff voice answers, proving I've just woke him up.
"Zee, this is Alyssa. I've got something Kane will need before he faces Castine, but I don't want to see him. Can you meet me somewhere tomorrow when I get home?"
"Yeah. Um, actually, I'm on guard detail tomorrow. Amy loses it about three days a month right now, and we have to keep her chained up. The others are going to the blood bank in town, so it'll be safe for you to just swing by. I can't leave, or I'd meet you."
Three days? That's all? I didn't know she ever had it to lose. Psycho bitch.
"As long as he's not there, I'll swing by."
"He won't be back until nightfall. It'll be fine."