Chapter Twenty
Kelli
Zack froze, looking taken aback. I paused, wondering if I had moved too fast. Maybe it was presumptuous to assume that because he had invited me up to his apartment, he was as horny and as willing as I was. He gave me a look that seemed to say, “Are we really doing this?”
“You alright?” I asked, as he continued to waver uncertainly at the edge of the kitchen.
“Yeah,” he said. “Sorry for staring, it’s just been a while.”
I laughed incredulously. “I haven’t even gotten my shirt off yet!”
That was the great thing about Zack, his ability to make me feel like the most important, most interesting person in the world. The last time we had made love, he had prefaced by telling me the various things he liked about me, which was oddly effective at getting me aroused even though at the time he barely knew me. It had laid to rest my concerns that maybe he saw me as just another body to be fucked and discarded. Even he seemed surprised by it, like he had never tried that before.
Of course, it wasn’t all talk; toward the end, his sweet words had become hoarse whispers, low moans, and growls; the animal look had come into his eyes and for a few minutes, we were two bodies in heat doing what bodies in heat had always done. It was a strange alchemy, this melding of poetry and passion, human and animal, and it had resulted in some of the hottest sex of my life.
Now as I stood there in the doorway with one hand on the center button of my shirt, he walked over and placed both hands on my shoulders. After looking into my eyes for a long moment, he said in a low voice, “Oh, baby, you are perfect.” And he kissed me like I hadn’t been kissed in almost a year.
I closed my eyes and felt the brush of his lips against my face and neck, hungry and unashamed. Gradually, I became aware that his fingers were fumbling for the bottom buttons of my shirt. His hands were shaking, the way a person’s hands might shake when they haven’t eaten in three days.
“You sure you’re feeling up to this?” I asked him, placing a hand on his stubbly cheek.
“Baby, I’ve been ready,” he said as he unbuttoned the lowest button.
Now I was standing half-in, half-out of my shirt and he had a full view of my blue bra. Instinctively I folded my hands over my chest so he couldn’t see. He shook his head and smiled. “You always do that.”
“Do what?” I could feel the heat rising into my face, burning like a brick pavement.
“Try to hide your body, like you’re ashamed of it.”
“I guess I’m not used to being looked at by men.”
“You mean you never slept with a man before?”
“Not every day.” I smiled. “And the guys I’ve had in the past were always in and out, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, if you know what I mean. Sometimes they didn’t even wait until I had gotten my clothes all the way off.”
Zack shook his head sadly. “See, that’s no way to treat a lady,” he said. “You’ve gotta be kind, and you’ve gotta show them affection, and you’ve gotta be willing to take things slow at first.”
“Is that how you do it?”
Zack’s eyes lit up with a look of mischief and cunning. “Why don’t I just show you?” he replied.
While we had been talking, my arms had automatically drifted back over my breasts. He grabbed me gently by the wrists and pulled them away, and there was a moment as we looked at each other where I think we both knew this was really about to happen—the lovemaking, the words of affection whispered low in my ear, my hands around his head, his body and mine intertwined.
“You know, I thought I liked you before,” he said as he traced his fingers along my belly. “But I’ve come to respect you so much more in the last year, even though we barely talked.”
“Mmmm, why is that?” I asked. His words were already having their strange effect.
“Because of all the shit you put up with after that piece went to press. And even before, if we’re being honest. My boys had no right to treat you like that, and I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had decided it wasn’t worth it, given up, and gone home. But you kept going no matter how nasty they got, no matter how much they ignored you.” He reached over and eased me out of my shirt, then kissed me once on the forehead. “I think that deserves some kind of medal.”
“I was just doing my job,” I said.
“I know. But after the chilly reception you got from the rest of the base, you must have known your report wasn’t gonna make you friends. And for the last year, you’ve put up with the death threats, and the harassment, and the hate mail, and you haven’t let it consume your life, and you’ve pressed on despite the hate and the venom and the anger.” He was unhooking my bra now, but he paused to look me directly in the face as he said, “I think you must be one of the bravest women I’ve ever met.”
“Thank you,” I said, because I didn’t know what else to say. “That means a lot coming from someone who risks his life probably every day.”
He shrugged. “Just doing my job.”
By now, he had managed to get my bra off. I felt naked and exposed to him, despite the fact that I was still wearing my jeans. This was always the hardest part, the part where I had to let go and surrender to him fully. But after the things he had just said to me, I was more than ready.