Chapter Fourteen
Penny
After Darren left, I had a minor panic attack. I had no intention of actually going skydiving on Saturday, but he had backed me into a corner. Now I had to go.
“What was all that about me hiding in the back room?” asked Nic, coming out of the back room. “And why are you hyperventilating?” I was standing at the counter breathing deep into a white paper bag.
“I told DARREN that I was going skydiving,” I said slowly. “And NOW he wants to go with me.”
“Penny, when have you ever been skydiving?”
“Never! It was a joke, and it went too far, and now, I’m going skydiving. Do I look like the sort of girl who has ever been skydiving? The closest I’ve ever come to being in an airplane was when we went to Florida, and an airplane flew over our house.”
“Wow, calm down.” Grabbing me by the wrists, she lowered me into the swivel chair. “You can always text Darren and tell him you’ve changed your mind and decided not to go.”
“No way. I’ve already promised I would go with him, and I can’t back out. Now I just have to research how you skydive without dying, so I don’t look like a total idiot when we get up there.”
“Well, I’m sure there are videos you can watch. I know you’re worried because you’ve never been thrown out of a plane before, but if you want to get close to Darren, I think this is a great way to do it.”
“No, because I’ll end up wearing my parachute backward and he’ll realize he wants to go out with some other girl who actually knows how to fall out of a plane and is smart and brave and adventurous. I can only pretend to be brave and adventurous for so long before he figures out the awful truth.”
“Well, you outran a squadron of police cars last weekend, so I’d say you bought yourself some time. And think of it this way: If this goes well, you could end up doing more than skydiving together on Saturday.”
Judging by the look on her face, I think she expected me to know what she was hinting at, but I had no idea what she was hinting at. “What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Penny, don’t make me spell it out for you. Darren clearly likes you, and this is sort of a romantic, boyfriend-and-girlfriend thing that people do together. If it goes well and you don’t plummet to your death, it could lead to more…boyfriend and girlfriend things that night. I’m just saying.”
“What are you saying?”
Nic winced in frustration and breathed a quick prayer to her late grandmother. “Sometimes when a guy is really passionately interested in a girl—”
“Oh, you think he’ll try to sleep with me?” I said in alarm.
She threw her hands up in relief. “I’m just saying that after you land, you’ll both be coming down off a high, and you’ll have that adrenaline running through you, and one thing could lead to another.”
“But this is all just speculation. You don’t know that for sure.”
“I’m not saying I’m a prophet, but I think it’s probably what he’ll want. And you might be surprised to find that you also want it.”
I scrunched up my nose in disgust. “Why would anyone want that? Especially after you had just gotten off a hot, sweaty airplane?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t want it!” said Nic with a wicked smile. “Don’t glare at me with those big, innocent eyes of yours like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I know you have sexual feelings for boys.”
“I do,” I said sadly. “I do have sexual feelings. But I don’t think we necessarily have to act on them.”
“But haven’t you ever wanted someone—like Darren, for example—to hold you and kiss you and nail you until you had to crawl out of bed?”
“Mmmm, not necessarily. When I think about being with a guy, like Darren, I imagine there being a lot of snuggles. I think I would want him to cuddle me and place his hand under my chin and maybe kiss me on the mouth. Maybe. I don’t know about the kissing. I’ve never actually been kissed. It could be gross.”
“It’s not gross,” said Nic. “If you’re going to sleep with a boy, you ought to at least get used to the idea.”
“I’m not saying it wouldn’t be nice. But when I think about sleeping with a boy, I don’t think so much about the part where he’s…drilling me, or whatever.” I could feel the heat flooding into my face at the mere suggestion. “I think about the parts where he’s tender and romantic and tells me he loves me and that I’m the best person he’s ever met.”
“So, it’s more about the intimacy, and the romance, and the snuggles for you.”
“Exactly. I want him to romance me. I’m sure intercourse is great and all, but I think I would be disappointed if that’s all it was, if it was just some sweaty boy ramming himself against me. He could do that at home by himself.”
“I suppose. Though for the record, some of us actually like that kind of sex.”
“I know, and I love you, but I will never understand you.”
“Well, I guess we’ll find out which one Darren prefers. You’ve still got a few days before you have to be ready, so I think we ought to take Friday off and go out.”
“Seriously, again? We’ve already taken one day off this week.”
“I know, but this is an emergency!” cried Nic, grabbing me by the wrists and shaking my arms. “We’ve gotta get your hair fixed and your nails done, maybe buy you some new clothes that you wouldn’t mind being naked in, and if you decide you want to get laid on Saturday after you finish plunging to your doom, then you’ll be ready.”
“You almost make it sound like something that’s exciting and not terrifying,” I replied, resting my hand on my tummy.
“It’ll be both,” said Nic. “This is going to be way scarier than going skydiving, but I have a feeling you’re going to enjoy it more.”
“If you say so,” I said, and then I went back to scrubbing down the counter.