There was a bite to the winter air. Von imagined the nights were probably downright cold here already. Back in Phoenix, Von probably would’ve had to wait until February for the weather to cool down. Here, it felt great in the daytime. Von wondered if the weather was a sign he was making the right decision. As if the universe heard him and decided to hand him another clue he was on the right track, he spotted the grocery store where he’d first met Justin.

Von changed lanes. They sold flowers there. Surely flowers would help his case when he fell on his knees and begged Justin to forgive him… again. It seemed eleven a.m. was the time to shop for groceries. There was no more than a handful of cars parked in the lot. He parked in the second space directly in front of the entrance. As he climbed from his truck, he eyed the Lotus parked next to him. It was sweet. Its body was the orange and black combo he’d thought about buying for himself. He almost got away with eye fucking a stranger’s vehicle. Before he could move away, he found his path blocked by Jamie. Von was hard pressed to decide which of them was more surprised to see the other.

“What are you doing here?”

The hostility in Jamie’s question caught Von off guard. He glanced around, seeking any clue to Jamie’s anger. His gaze landed on Hawke. Damn, the man’s green eyes were even more beautiful in the sunlight, but they too held a hint of hatred Von never expected. A large chocolate-skinned male who matched Von in size stood at Hawke’s back. Von dismissed him as part of Jamie’s security team. He focused on Jamie once more. “I dropped by to grab Justin some flowers. Is there some reason I shouldn’t shop here? Wait. Are they selling used bath water and calling it spring water?” Von asked, hoping to tease the fury from Jamie’s expression. Normally, jokes always won over Jamie.

Jamie’s brow furrowed. “I don’t mean here, here,” Jamie said, motioning toward the store. “I mean here, here,” he said, pointing at the ground. “Like here in South Carolina.”

Von felt his face screw up in his confusion. “This is where Justin lives. Where else would I be?”

To Von’s surprise, Jamie’s temper snapped. “You’d be in hell if there was any justice in the world.”

Von blinked at the sudden rage flying his way “Whoa.”

“Jamie,” Hawke said, obviously hoping to call his husband under control.

Von kept his gaze locked on Jamie. “Did I miss something?”

Jamie shook his head as if he couldn’t believe Von’s gall. “You’re the dumbest genius I’ve ever met.” Jamie seemed to think it over, before adding, “Not that I’ve met many geniuses.”

“Wow. Don’t hold back.” Even Von heard the sarcasm in his tone, but either Jamie chose to ignore it or Von’s words suited his purposes because he kept talking.

“Okay, then. You’re also the biggest jackass I’ve ever met, and that’s really saying something. Do you have any idea how many people I meet in a day?”

Von felt his face screw up in confusion. He shook his head. “Did I do something to you?”

Jamie scratched his chin, being as obnoxious as possible. “Let me think. Hmmm. Do I feel your actions directly affected me?” He straightened and threw off all appearances of joking. “Yeah, I guess in a way, I do. I don’t like it when people give me the feels. Nobody gives me the fucking feels but my husband. But damn, man, it was hard as hell to hold my shit together, sitting there with Justin while the doctor told him he had cancer. Then, this is the best part of the story, five minutes later, you call and dump him.” Von couldn’t fucking breathe. He thought he might be having a heart attack, but Jamie was nowhere near finished. “Oh, and let’s not forget—”

“Jamie, maybe we should stay out of it,” Hawke said, cutting him off.

Jamie went back to pretending to think it over. “Nah. I think staying silent at the hospital was the extent of my business-minding abilities. Dude, he gave up his job. Sold his house. What the fuck did you think—”

“He sold his house?”

Jamie rolled his eyes. “Do you know any fucking thing about Justin or is everything always about you? Wait,” Jamie said, holding up his hand. “Don’t bother answering that. I already know.”

Von ignored Jamie’s open hatred. Nothing mattered as much as finding Justin. “If he sold his house, where’s he staying?”

“Like I would tell you,” Jamie shot back.

In spite of Jamie’s anger, Von didn’t stop pushing. “Please? I’m here because I want to fall on my knees and beg. I didn’t know about the…” Von swallowed, because it hurt. “I didn’t know about the cancer or the house. I knew he’d quit his job, but I’d planned to send him the money to cover everything.” He stopped, recognizing he wasn’t getting through to Jamie. “He’s been ignoring my calls. I need to find him.”

A muscle in Jamie’s jaw ticked. He stared Von down, obviously intent on holding his ground.

“He’s at Geeks Unlimited,” Hawke said behind Jamie.

Von’s chin shot up, meeting Hawke’s gaze. “What?”

Hawke motioned toward a strip mall next to the store where they stood. “Geeks Unlimited. It’s a computer repair shop slash electronics store. That’s where Justin is right now.”

Hope lit in Von’s chest. Jamie still stared at him with hatred in his eyes and Hawke didn’t look any happier about handing over the information, but Von didn’t care. He had what he needed. “Thanks for being here for him,” Von said, hoping to extend the first olive branch, but he couldn’t stop from adding, “I still wish you would’ve called me and let me know what was happening.”

Jamie’s gaze slid his way. “Would it have made a difference? You made your choice, and it wasn’t Justin.”

Jamie opened the passenger side door of the ultra-expensive car and motioned Hawke inside. Hawke moved to slide inside. With one foot inside the car, Hawke met his gaze. “For the record, I didn’t tell you where Justin is so you can make things right. Personally, I don’t think you deserve him. But Justin deserves closure, and the chance to spit in your face,” Hawke added before turning his back on Von and sliding inside the car.

Von never considered arguing his case. All he wanted was to get to Justin before the man disappeared. Justin was a get in and get what he needed and get out type of guy when it came to shopping. If he was at an electronics store, he might not be there much longer. He could’ve walked, but he didn’t have time. Instead, he fired his truck to life and cut through the parking lot before snagging the closest space. He searched the lot for Justin’s car but didn’t see it. Von’s heart rate kicked up. What if he was already gone? He didn’t know where the man lived any longer. Von doubted he’d get any further answers from Jamie or Hawke. Maybe they’d dropped Justin off, and that was how they knew where he was?

With his panic rising by the moment, Von rushed inside. Thankfully, it wasn’t a huge place. He spotted Justin right away. Even with Justin’s head covered by a stocking cap, Von knew it was him. It was as if his body was attuned to Justin. He could find the man in any crowd. Von’s panic disappeared, replaced with confusion. Justin wore a royal blue polo with the store’s logo on the sleeve—like every other employee inside the store. His feet moved in Justin’s direction. He didn’t stop until no more than two feet separated them. His hands itched to touch the man he’d missed with everything he possessed. It felt like forever since the last time he saw him.

Von thought of all the many things he needed to say. He opened his mouth, intent on pleading for Justin to forgive him—to love him again. “What are you doing working in an electronics store?”

Justin went still. He didn’t turn right away. When he did, his face was clear of all surprise or emotion of any kind. For all the pep talks Von gave himself, there was no way he could’ve prepared himself for seeing Justin again. The dark circles under the man’s eyes were new. He’d also lost weight he couldn’t spare. There was a hard edge to his eyes that hadn’t been there before. All those things were Von’s fault. There wasn’t enough penance in the world.

Rather than telling Von to fuck off, as Von expected, Justin surprised him by answering. “Well, since I’d quit my job to move to Phoenix, and no longer had health insurance when I found out—” Justin paused, as if stopping himself before he told too much. He started again. “When I had a medical emergency, here I am. I’m now working two jobs, hoping not to completely wreck my credit while I try to fight my way out from underneath a couple of hundred thousand dollars’ worth of medical debt that’s all soon to be headed for collection. Thanks for asking. Unless you’re here to get your computer fixed, I need to get back to work.”

It was the same as getting kicked in the throat. Von had no excuse for a lot of things, but the medical bills hadn’t even occurred to him. “I’ll take care of your bills tomorrow.”

Justin laughed. There wasn’t an ounce of humor in the gesture. In fact, Von had never heard an uglier sound. “It must be so nice to be you. All guilt removed with the swipe of a debit card.” He motioned as if swiping a card. “Cha-ching. Every sin wiped clean. Go fuck yourself, Von. I don’t want your money.” As if lending truth to his words, Justin walked away.

Von wasn’t having it. He stayed on Justin’s heels. “Where’s your car? I didn’t see it outside.”

While keeping his eyes locked on the clipboard in his hand, Justin made notes as he answered. “Jamie dropped me off today. I had a doctor’s appointment and I always feel bad after…” Justin snapped his teeth together as if loath to say more.

“That was nice of Jamie,” Von said for lack of anything more. This was bad. He didn’t know how to fix this. His eyes burned. He wanted to hold Justin—tell him everything would be all right, but Justin wouldn’t even look at him.

“It was nice. The man has this huge tour happening right now, and a hundred other things going on his life, yet he’s able to deal with me and all of that.” Justin met Von’s gaze. “Imagine that,” he said, looking away again.

He deserved that dig, but it didn’t mean Von would go away. “I’m here now. He can get back to his tour.”

“There’s no socializing on the clock,” a guy who looked to be sixteen said, interrupting them.

Von glanced over, more than ready to get Justin fired if it meant he could have his say. “Look, dude—”

“Oh, wow. You’re Von Wolf. Could I get your autograph?” the dude asked.

Even though Von could feel Justin’s glare biting into his skin, he didn’t glance Justin’s way as he used the situation to his advantage. Von pasted on his most winning smile. “I’d be more than happy to sign whatever you’d like…”

“Charlie,” the man supplied.

Von nodded. “I’d be happy to sign whatever you like, Charlie if I can steal Justin away for the day. See, I’m having an issue with my home entertainment system, and he’s the only person I trust in my house.”

Charlie nodded. “Of course. Someone like you wouldn’t want strangers invading your home. I’m cool with you stealing Justin for the day, but I’ll still have to charge you for his time.”

Von nodded. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

Justin was seething. Von could feel the hatred rolling off the man in waves, but he didn’t argue. What could he say? Von had backed him in a corner. If Justin needed his job as much as he claimed, he wouldn’t do anything to damage it. However, Von would make damn sure his man didn’t have to ever come back to this place again.

* * *

Justin was torn between feeling resigned and ready to cry. He was so tired—more exhausted than he’d ever been in his life. It seemed he should’ve been surprised to see Von there, but he wasn’t. Everything sucked, so it only seemed fair Von should show up to kick Justin some more while he was down. He watched Von signing autographs. For a moment, he even considered making a run for it. He could call a cab. Most likely, if he texted Jamie or Hawke, the pair would come back for him. Instead, Justin stood there and waited.

Von had gotten bigger. Justin marveled over that fact. If he’d thought about it, Justin would’ve thought the man would’ve lost some muscle, considering he hadn’t been playing these past few months. Justin had tried damn hard not to think about Von at all. Sometimes, when he was at his weakest, Justin’s brain would dredge up a memory of Von—the way he smelled or the way it felt when Von would hold him. Justin always shut those thoughts down before they took hold and killed him. Before Von, Justin hadn’t known it was possible to hate someone and love someone so much at the same time.

Von finished up and turned his sexy gaze Justin’s way. Justin wanted to vomit. “You ready?”

“Do I have a choice?” Justin muttered under his breath as Von steered him toward the door.

“You always have a choice,” Von said as he opened the passenger side door for Justin. “But no matter what you do, I’ll follow,” Von promised as he closed the door, shutting Justin inside the truck.

Justin’s traitorous gaze followed Von as he circled the front of the truck. He wanted to punch him in the balls for being so hot. If there was any justice in the world, Von would be as ugly on the outside as he was inside. If anyone knew how unfair life was, it was Justin. Von was only one of the many ways life had fucked Justin. He’d always believed by the time he made it to thirty, he would have all his shit together. Justin was thirty-two and further away from shit togetherness than he’d ever been in his life.

Von slid behind the wheel. For a moment, their gazes met. Justin narrowed his eyes before looking away. If he looked fucking childish, he couldn’t be bothered to care. It was not like Von didn’t know he shouldn’t have come back here.

Justin stared out the window and tried to pretend he was somewhere else. Von wasn’t there beside him. This wasn’t happening to him. The truck crawled to a stop at a red light. He could see Von’s reflection in the window. Each breath Justin took came harder than the last as he watched Von turn his head.

“I love you.”

At Von’s claim, Justin opened the door and got out. He couldn’t fucking do this. They’d driven far enough away from his work that no one would know he hadn’t gone with Von. The fucking bastard. He loved only himself. There was a bus stop down the road. Justin didn’t know the schedule. He had no clue when the next bus ran or where it went, but any fucking thing was better than Von. He could hear Von cursing as he slammed the door. Justin didn’t look back. He could call Jamie or Hawke. In fact, he could call a cab. There was no reason whatsoever for him to endure this.

Tires screeched behind him. Von took the corner fast before whipping into the pharmacy and parking. He was close enough Justin heard the man’s door slam as he came after him. Justin picked up his pace. It didn’t matter that he knew he was being ridiculous. Justin couldn’t stop. He could hear Von’s footsteps, proving how attuned he was to Von’s every move. When the man’s shadow almost overtook him, Justin spun, and lost it.

“I need you to go away from me,” Justin said, hearing the desperation in his voice and unable to stop. “I know you don’t care. You’re so used to everyone giving you everything you want, but you have to hear me now. I need you to go away from me today.”

Von put his hands out as if trying to placate Justin. “Let me take you home, and I promise to leave you alone for today.” Justin wasn’t stupid. He knew Von would keep to the exact letter of his word. He’d leave Justin alone for today, but tomorrow, he’d be back. “I get that you’re sick—”

“How you do know that?” Justin snapped. “You shouldn’t know that.” Justin took a step toward Von as he yelled the words. He’d never wanted to physically fight someone as much as he did Von.

“My mistake,” Von said, as if trying to calm a wild animal. Justin didn’t doubt for a second he looked like one at the moment. “Blame me, okay? I ran into Jamie and Hawke at the store and they let it slip.”

Justin wanted to stamp his feet and scream at the top of his lungs. He never wanted Von to know. “I guess I know why you’re here now.”

Von shook his head. “That’s not true. I’d stopped at the store to buy you flowers and that’s when I ran into them.” He drew a cross on his chest. “Cross my heart, I was already on my way to see you. I’d already decided I couldn’t live another day without you.”

If Justin had been armed, Von would be dead already. He’d never been more enraged in his entire life. He didn’t know a person could feel so much fury toward another person. Justin took another step toward Von. “How dare you say that to me? You don’t deserve to get to say that to me.”

“Justin, please get in the truck. If you don’t want to talk, we won’t, but let me get you home.”

Without a word, Justin stomped his way back to the truck. He stood at the door and waited for Von to unlock the door. Instead of hitting the button on the key fob and letting Justin in, Von waited to hit the button until he could open the door for Justin. He scurried in, hoping Von wouldn’t use this opportunity to touch him. Justin was scared what he might do if any part of Von came in contact with him.

Staying true to his word, Von didn’t speak other than asking directions to Justin’s house. As he gave them, Justin cursed himself as being ten shades of an idiot. Of course Von wanted to take him home, so he’d know where Justin lived now. He would’ve given the man the wrong address if it had occurred to him before he’d given Von the right one. The apartment he lived in now was a lot smaller than his house had been. Unfortunately, after using all the money he’d made selling his home on medical bills, he didn’t have anything left but even more medical bills. Now, he was back to apartment living. It wasn’t so bad. Only one of his neighbors had a dog that barked nonstop. The other made up for it by having screaming kids. He was also convinced the guy who lived above him had two wooden legs, causing him to stomp with every step he took, but otherwise, Justin got by.

Von pulled into the parking spot next to Justin’s car and put the truck in park. “Justin, I—”

Justin leapt from the truck and slammed the door, cutting off whatever Von had been about to say. There was nothing Von could say to him that would change a damn thing. Von didn’t pull away, even as Justin let himself in, but Justin didn’t look back. If there was a god in heaven, Von would keep his word and leave Justin alone for at least a few hours. He wasn’t equipped to deal with Von Wolf today. Justin needed time to think.

* * *

Von stared at Justin’s closed front door and tried not to think. This was so much worse than anything he’d imagined. Since Jamie had dropped the cancer bomb, Von had been going through the motions—concentrating on Justin. Now that he’d seen the hatred in Justin’s exhausted gaze, Von was at a complete loss. Being an ass, he could fix by proving he’d never do it again. This… Von had nothing. The humane thing to do would be to fix all the monetary problems he’d created and get the hell out of Justin’s life for good. Von couldn’t do it. He’d already proven he was the worst sort of selfish bastard. Today was no different. He still loved Justin. Von couldn’t stop.

He turned the keys in the ignition, shutting off the truck. There was no way he could leave. Justin wouldn’t let him stay. The thing was—Von physically couldn’t put the truck in reverse and drive away from Justin. His arms felt too heavy. He’d never been more heartsick in his life. No one would ever understand how badly he wished he’d been here. If anyone had given him a single clue, he didn’t doubt for a second he would’ve been. The problem was—Justin would never believe any of that. So, Von would stay. Even if Justin wouldn’t let him inside, Von would sit here until Justin let him make it right. All the calls he needed to make to pay off Justin’s debt, Von could do right here from his cellphone. He had a car charger. No need to ever move again.