Ivy

After two more bowls of ice cream, Kelso and I end up in his bedroom. We’re watching television on his big bed, which sits on a black wooden plank bed frame. I envy the simplistic style Kelso has to everything in his life, which includes his bedroom. White walls, except for one that’s a cool gray color. His bed is centered on the colored wall, and his television is mounted on the opposite wall. He has a desk and chair next to his bed, and on the other side a stack of books and CDs sit haphazardly on the floor. Kelso also has an en suite, the only one in the house. How he scored it out of four siblings, I have no idea. Perhaps they flipped a coin.

Staring up at the screen, I’m not sure what we’re watching. I’m too busy adjusting my position to appear sexy, and lowering my shirt to show more of my boobs. Since having the cast removed, I’ve been thinking about how tonight might go. 

It’s been four months and one week since Kelso and I bonded at TK’s bar. I’m determined to take us to the next level. Kelso told me he wants to, but something’s holding him back. I know it’s his past, and I’m sure it has something to do with the stories I’ve heard of how he takes women. Knowing Kelso, without his past I’d call bullshit on those rumors, but hearing him talk about the horrors he endured, I’m almost certain the women are telling the truth. Who could walk away from such a terrible childhood and not be fucked-up? And maybe I’m nuts for not caring if Kelso may tie me up, but at this point I don’t care. I want to be with him, long to be with him. There’s a strong connection between sex and love. Without intimacy, we’re cruising along as close friends, and I want so much more with him. If it means sacrificing my freedom for as long as it takes for Kelso to have me, then call me the ditzy heroine from the movies who walks willingly into a trap, because in my heart I’m already there. I’m stupidly head over heels for the bad guy. 

Kelso’s moving around the room. I know this routine. We’re alone in his bedroom, so he prepares for a shower and spends a fair while in there. He returns to the room with wet hair, dressed in a singlet, loose pants hanging deliciously on his hips. He cuddles me from behind, and soon after he’s snoring, appearing to be dead asleep. Not even a bomb would wake him; trust me, I’ve tried almost everything else. After a while, I played the same game, and I soon found when my eyes closed and my breathing evened out, Kelso would stir. He gets up and goes to the desk, then sits there for hours and reads his car magazines. He claims reading them is like a student studying. Cars are constantly evolving, and keeping up to date with the industry is important to him and his family. 

One thing no one ever talks about is the Kings’ ability to build their own business from the ground up and keep it going successfully. These were children who never even went to school. Their passion and ability to stay focused is awe-inspiring. 

Getting up from the bed, I stand behind Kelso and wrap my arms around his waist. Softly I place a kiss on his neck, letting my mouth linger on his skin long enough for Kel to understand what I want. 

Kelso tenses, and my eyes close when I feel the muscles in his shoulders stiffen.   

“Turn on something you want to watch, Ives. I’m gonna have a shower,” he says, and shuts his dresser drawer.

Kelso tries to move, but I clasp my hands together, not letting him go. Rising on my tippy toes, I whisper into his ear, “Fuck me, Kelso.” 

He stills. Doesn’t move an inch. I take the opportunity and suck his earlobe into my mouth. Warmth floods through me, and electricity ignites my body as it comes alive. 

Suddenly Kel spins out of my arms, and in a heartbeat he’s on the other side of the room, leaning on the wall, his back rising and falling fast with deep breaths. 

“Kelso.” My voice comes out low and timid as doubt crawls inside my mind. 

He pushes off the wall and turns, hands jammed into his armpits. Kelso flexes his neck as if it's sore. His eyes bounce around the room, refusing to look at me. “I’ve been thinking, with life being hectic, your dad, our jobs, and my family’s going through something at the moment… maybe we should take a break until we know it's safe for you to be around me and my family.” Kelso’s voice is level and clear. There’s no sign of the man I thought would crumple at the thought of us separating. 

My mouth falls open, and I struggle to pick an emotion. The warmth I was feeling turns ice-cold, and I attempt to find my bearings, trying to understand where this is coming from. His fears. Like a light bulb lighting up in my mind, I see through Kelso’s words. 

“No,” I say with authority in my tone. “We’re either together, or I’m single to do as I please.”

Kelso grimaces. His gaze bounces around his room as if searching for an answer I know he will not find there.

Pissed off he even suggested a break after everything we’ve already been through, I walk to the bedroom door. I want Kelso to think I’m leaving; I want to scare him. It’s been tactic after tactic with him when it comes to avoiding intimacy. This time he went too far. 

“Where are you going?” Kelso demands, grabbing hold of the door handle and not allowing me to touch it. 

Turning my head, I look him straight in the eyes. “I’m leaving. The insecurities you hide so well have now turned into a game and I don’t want to play. Either talk to me or we’re done.” 

My stomach churns and my heart pumps. I’m taking a huge risk. I don’t want to lose him.

Kelso’s eyes scan mine, and then he shifts nervously from one foot to the other. 

My heart pounds hard against my chest as his hand moves on the handle. For a split second, relief floods my chest as I think he will finally open up and talk, but it’s short-lived. The door in front of me opens, and Kelso stands with his head bowed, holding it clear for me to walk through. 

Holding my head up high, I walk out of the room, however my heart cracks wide open. My fears can’t change what my heart already knows. In the end, his fears won out, and sadly for Kelso if they did today, they always will. 

Rounding the corner, Kelso grips my wrist. “You deserve better, Red. My lifestyle isn’t meant for someone like you.”

“Coward,” I spit out in a harsh tone. I twist my hand free from his grip and move hastily down the stairs. Plucking my tote bag from the front buffet table, I continue through the front screen door. Keep moving, Ivy. Do not look back. 

“Ivy!” Kelso’s voice rings out in the night air. 

I ignore him, stalking through the front gate and up the street. With trembling hands, I pull my phone out of my bag. Swiping to my contacts, I search for Becca’s name. It should be one of the first, but my thumb is moving too fast, and the screen continues to scroll. My heart refuses to calm down enough for me to stop and think. Pounding begins in my ears, and suddenly my sight goes blurry as tears prick my eyes.

Spotting Becca’s name, I press to call, but I end up calling the office instead. I hang up and growl, aggravated. 

“Ivy.”

Screaming, I jump and spin around with my phone clutched to my chest. My poor heart tonight. 

Kelso

“I’m sorry.” Ivy has no idea how much it hurt me to utter those words, and the strength it took to open my fucking bedroom door. Every cell in my body screamed at me to stop ruining everything we’d built. “I never want to hurt you.”

A bitter laugh escapes Ivy.

How can I explain this to her? To a woman who thinks she can tackle anything in life. “We’re two very different people.” 

“Bullshit,” Ivy hisses, staring at me with a lack of warmth I don’t like. “You’re scared, you think I’ll run after we have sex for the first time.”

My breath catches. So she’s heard the gossip. I wasn’t sure. I especially didn’t know if she would believe it. Gossip around here is almost always exaggerated. “You know?”

Breathing, Ivy calms herself. “Yes.” 

I scramble to understand as a tingling begins in my chest. “And you still want me?” 

“Of course I do, Kelso. Stop wrapping me up in bubble wrap and trust I’m strong enough. You owe me at least that.”

“And if you run? What if you hate me afterwards?” My voice deepens, turning ragged. 

Ivy reaches out and wraps her fingers around my wrists, squeezing them with determination in her eyes. “I won’t.” 

Unease stirs in my gut, but before it can grow too deep, I reach over and take Ivy’s hand. Not saying a word, I lead her back into the house and up to my bedroom, and lock my door. This will be a first, having sex in my bedroom. I haven’t had a woman in my bed before. This room is my sanctuary; apart from my nightmares, this is my safe place. Sex is not a safe place for me. Sex is a burning need my body craves from time to time. It became a chore; it’s never been something I enjoyed. It’s a dirty secret between two people.

Ivy stands in the middle of the room, her eyes searching mine. 

“Strip,” I demand, my voice hard and edged with dominance.

Ivy’s soft lips part at my words, but she doesn’t argue. She keeps strong eye contact with me as she removes her jean shorts, top, and then her bra and panties. Ivy releases her ponytail and her hair falls down her back in a smooth, layered curtain.

She looks fucking… delicious. My mouth waters as I continue to stare at her naked body. My heartbeat spirals out of control as my eyes cling to each sensual curve of her body. A pair of full high breasts that I know would be a handful for me. I’ve appreciated women’s bodies in the past, but they’ve only ever been a means to an end, a way to push my body into overdrive to get the long-awaited release I’d fought hard against for months. This is different; never have I had to hold myself back from wanting to have my mouth on her tits and her pussy. Never have I wanted a woman to touch me back. 

Ivy steps forward, and suddenly I’m torn from paradise and thrown back into reality. Panic rises and my muscles twitch. “Against the wall.” My voice is deep and has a husky tone, one I’ve never heard before. 

Ivy stills and doesn’t move. Just when I’ve concluded she’s not going to follow my order, she shifts, striding to the wall between my bathroom and bedroom. She stands facing the wall, her head tilted to the side, watching me carefully. 

I strip off my clothes, my cock jutting free, and I spot Ivy licking her lips while staring at my dick. Throwing my head back, I groan internally. Fuck. My blood feels as if hot lava is flowing through my veins. I’ve had sex so many times it’s become automatic, but right now, this is as far from mechanical as I have ever felt. 

My next instinct is to put a condom on, except I don’t want to. Ivy has assured me occasionally that she’s on the pill. Any other time I wouldn’t care. I never get my dick wet without a condom, but for the first fucking time in my life I’m thanking the gods for that damn pill some hero out there created. I ache to be skin to skin with Ivy. 

The hairs on my skin stand up as my fingers ache and my breathing quickens. I’m close to losing all control and I can’t allow it, because what happens if she touches me and I can’t handle it? What if she does something, and it reminds me of my past? What if I go back there and forever condemn us? Because it’s something I can’t handle, I cannot go back. I can’t look into Ivy’s eyes and see a monster. 

One shaky leg follows the other, and suddenly I’m at her back. I slide Ivy’s silky red hair over her shoulder exposing her flawless and freckled naked back. Ivy moans, and my cock jerks, skimming her ass cheek. Molten heat hits deep in my gut, and I know I can’t handle any more waiting. 

Grasping Ivy’s waist, I pull her ass backwards and her cheeks rub up against my cock. We both groan. 

“Are you wet?” I ask, sliding my right hand over the soft skin of her stomach and down between Ivy’s slick folds. 

She moans, hangs her head forward, and holds on to the wall as if she’s struggling to keep her body upright. Wrapping my other arm around Ivy’s middle, I hold her steady as I slide one finger inside her while my thumb presses and swirls her clit. “Jesus,” I growl. She’s soaking wet and panting, all for me. 

Ivy leans her head back, resting it on my shoulder. From the corner of my eye I watch as her lips part and she draws in deep, shuddering breaths. Her eyes close and she whimpers. Her soft, lust-driven tone is all it takes for my cravings to turn into a furious hunger. Releasing her pussy, I lift Ivy up, both my hands grasping her thighs. Ivy gasps as she’s pushed up against the wall. There’s no room for her to move, only for my body to control hers. 

“You want me to fuck you, Red?” My breath wisps across her cheek. Ivy nods, but I can tell she’s tense from the position I’ve put her in, one I’m familiar with. “Then feel me, baby, and don’t be afraid. I’d never let you fall.” 

Ivy’s body relaxes. 

“Keep your hands on the wall, and no turning around to face me, okay?” 

“Yes,” Ivy replies hoarsely. 

With her understanding and trust in me, I slowly inch my cock up and into her pussy. My nostrils flare as my cock goes deeper inside the woman who holds my heart. When I’m buried to the hilt, I still for a second, resting my forehead on Ivy’s spine. Fuuuuck. She’s tight, and it feels so damn good.

Holding Ivy against the wall, I thrust my hips up and down slowly. Ivy whimpers low in her throat. Fuck. I’m gone. I’m desperate to hear her make the sound again. This time I thrust up harder, and Ivy’s moans turn deeper, like a plea. I’ve lost all control to go slow; I’m slamming into Ivy as she whimpers and breathlessly says my name. With each delicious thrust I’m rewarded by Ivy’s pleas to go harder and faster. I obey, the dominant becoming the servant. I lower Ivy’s feet to the ground while still thrusting inside her; I push down on the middle of her spine, and she pushes back and bends perfectly. I slide my right hand up her body and close it possessively around her throat, and my other hand closes over her breast, rolling her nipple between my fingers. I cherish the whimpers it draws from Ivy. 

My throat bobs as my balls grow heavy. I clench my teeth and pound into Ivy as I continue to experience a sensation I wish would never end. Ivy’s moans grow louder, and as she’s throwing her head back I grasp her jaw, turning her head to face me. Our eyes meet. Her expression radiates pure adoration and love. 

I blink in surprise and a tingling sensation covers my body. 

Ivy’s eyes widen as my balls grow to the point of exploding. A deep warmth spreads throughout my gut, and suddenly I’m leaning down and taking Ivy’s mouth, kissing her, stealing what’s mine. The whimpers and moans of a vicious orgasm rock Ivy’s body to its core. Stars explode behind my irises. My knees wobble and I need to lock them into place so I don’t fall on my ass, even though in my mind, body, and spirit it’s what Ivy has done to me.

Coming to, I find Ivy's back rising and falling heavily as she leans against the wall. Her hands are exactly where I asked her to keep them. I release my grip on her throat and breast. 

Ivy did exactly as I asked, it was me who broke my own rules, gazing into her eyes as we both orgasmed and kissed. The first kiss I’ve ever had during sex. I regret nothing. I’ve never felt so aware of myself or a woman’s body. 

Ivy stands, turning to me with a smile on her face. Her face is flushed, almost matching her hair. 

“That was….” She laughs. “Epic.” 

I don’t laugh, but I understand what she’s saying. Nothing can compare to what I experienced. 

I pull Ivy to me and rest a palm on her cheek. I tilt my head, staring at her, an enigma, the one and only soul on this planet who can make the world fall away with only a look. Who had my utmost attention and never once, not even for a split second did I care about anything except our bodies becoming one, and wanting her to make those cute whimpers over and over again.  

Ivy raises her hands and then drops them again as if suddenly remembering my rule. Disappointment slams into me as my chest tightens. I want her to touch me. 

I stare down at Ivy’s hands; they fumble together, as if she’s trying to keep them busy. A deep-seated yearning unlocks inside me, and I take Ivy’s hand. Leading her into the bathroom, I release her fingers and turn the shower on.

Shifting to focus on Ivy again, I see her looking up at me, her gaze darting between me and the shower. She stops on me and raises an eyebrow, her lips tipped up in a curious smile.

“I want you again.” My voice is back to the husky tone I now realize is only for her. My cock is springing back to life; he’s as greedy for her as I am.

Ivy smiles, and her eyes have a gleam in them; a little sexy and a little mischievous. My Red. Her natural and happy grin is something I love to see more than the sun in the morning. If I had to choose, I’m afraid mankind would have to live in eternal darkness.

Getting into the shower, I let the warm water wash over my shoulders and back. I extend my hand to Ivy, and she takes it. 

Blowing out a big breath, I say something I hope to God I won’t regret later on. “Touch me, Red. Stroke my cock.” Ivy’s eyes snap to mine, her lips part, and even though I’m the one who asked, she’s still seeking my permission with her eyes. “Go on, baby. I can do this. I want to do this.” 

Red reaches out and then pulls her hands back. My heart near explodes, and I’m glad to say it’s because I came so close to having her soft flesh on mine. “Kel, I want you to know, I’ll never hurt you. I promise.” 

Terror bursts through my body; not the bad kind, the good. The type where I know I’m not alone. I have this special person in my life now, and I need to hold on to her with everything I have. Protect her with everything I am. It’s not only me and my family anymore, but also the woman who has seen me naked, inside and out. 

Heat descends my face… tears, an expression of emotion I never expected. They mingle with the water and Ivy has no idea what her words meant to me.

Slowly Ivy extends her hand, and she touches me. Wraps her hand around my cock, something I’ve held protected and hidden. The warmth from her skin sends pleasure spiraling through me. My head falls back, and my eyes close. Each stroke is in time with my heartbeat. They beat together in a song, a rhythm I’ll never forget. I sense Ivy come closer; she lays her other hand on my chest and kisses my neck. 

My body shudders and legs wobble. I reach up and grab hold of the top of the shower frame, attempting to steady myself. My eyes fall to Ivy’s, and I find a question there. One I know, but I’m too afraid to answer. I know what I want, but can I handle it? Her tongue darts out across her lips and a deep groan climbs up from my chest and out of my mouth. 

Ivy slowly lowers herself to her knees, and I grasp hold of the shower frame with all my strength, not wanting my hands near her, scared I may push Ivy away ruthlessly if fear overwhelms me. 

Suddenly my body shakes uncontrollably. I don’t need to look to know my knuckles are pale and my palms will have deep indents in them. My shoulders grow stiff and the air rushes out of me. My leg muscles tighten and rattle with fear. Not daring to watch, I extend my neck back and close my eyes as my chin trembles. Don’t fuck this moment up. Be normal, Kelso, for once be normal.

The exact moment Ivy’s hot mouth covers my cock, a powerful shudder rocks my body. Pleasure explodes through every single one of my nerve endings. My mind blanks, and my body begs for more. 

Relaxing, my hips move with Ivy, craving her to go deeper. Ivy doesn’t disappoint; she sucks, licks, and cups my balls until I can’t hold back a furious orgasm, one like nothing I’ve ever felt. I shout, “Fuuuuck,” in a guttural tone, one of true unadulterated pleasure. 

Ivy finishes pumping me into her mouth and then glances up at me through her thick eyelashes. Her eyes dance as she grins up at me. 

Unclenching my hands from the sides of the shower, I cup Ivy’s chin and hold her stare. Fuck, how did I get so lucky? And how on earth could I think I loved Ivy before this? My feelings before were strong, but what I feel now, it’s overwhelming, almost bringing me to my knees. It’s not only my heart, but every crevice of my being. My world turned upside down, and what I feared before aren’t my fears now. Where life was once average, it’s now bursting with color and possibilities. Ivy crossed boundaries I thought would be impossible for anyone to get through. 

I see our future. Standing together, side by side. Love and trust building our foundation. Strengthening us, a formidable force that no one could ever tear apart.