Kelso

The moment Ivy drove past me with swollen eyes and regret shining through, I locked down all my emotions. Don’t feel. It’s how I got in this position. Block out her face.

Pulling up to the wooden cabin and jumping out, I catch Mack striding over to me with purpose in his eyes. “What happened?” I ask, using all my strength not to shout at my brother to stop staring at me with sorrow in his eyes. I don’t want his pity or anyone else’s.  

“When I got here, they were already talking, but from what I could tell, Ivy was furious. She even had a gun in her hand.” My head draws back quickly as uncomfortable tingles race across my skin. “I caught the last bit where she told him to ‘rot in hell’ and then she left.” Mack pauses, but I know by the frown on his face he isn’t done. “She looked destroyed.” 

A lump forms in my throat and my mouth goes dry. “Good, now she knows how I feel.” 

My brother's eyes soften. He isn’t finished, but I don’t allow him a moment to continue. “I hate her so damn much right now that you need to be careful what you say on her behalf.”

Mack places his left hand on my right shoulder. “It’s not Ivy I’m worried about, brother. Own the pain, wield the anger, but don’t let them consume you.”  

Shaking my brother’s hand off, I ignore his words and walk around the car to Slater and Pacer. “I’m going in alone.” Slater and Pacer turn to me, each with confusion marring their expressions. “Piper was right, this is a mistake. It won’t end well, but I can’t let it go.” 

Slater’s throat bobs. He’s torn. I imagine it’s the first time he’s doubted our way of life.   

Baseball bat in one hand and my car keys in the other, I wait by the front door for Slater and Pacer to grab their stuff. Mack called to let me know Ivy’s driving west. I know where she’s going. Ivy once talked about a holiday cabin her parents own in Somerset. It’s the perfect place for her bastard of a father to be hiding out.

Growing impatient, I step away from the door to find my brothers. I don’t have to go far, they’re in the living room. Slater, Pacer, and Della on one side of the room, while Piper, Dom, and Lana stand on the other side. 

Slater is talking quietly, but I can still hear everything he says. “We can’t walk away from something like this. Power needs to be met with power. Ruthlessness needs to be met with death, or we’re sitting ducks, seen as feeble and fragile.” 

“Actually, you can, you can be smarter,” Piper states in a strained voice, trying hard to control her emotions so she can speak clearly. “I listen, I understand. I would never judge you or anyone else in this family.” Piper’s eyes meet mine for a moment before returning to Slater. “But when something needs to be said, I’ll say it. This is a mistake. Y-y-you,” she stutters and points at Slater, “are making a mistake by going through with this. He’s a sheriff and the father of a woman whom I've grown fond of. Who your youngest brother woke up this morning loving very much.” 

I step further into the room, my heart hitting my stomach, and I look up at Piper and love how she views the world. But without the memories, without the lessons we learned on the streets, she can’t comprehend the overwhelming sensation of being helpless. 

“I’m hearing you,” Slater replies, and it’s all he says. We all stand there silently as Slater and Piper eye each other, having a silent conversation with their stares. After a few moments, Piper sighs and shakes her head. 

She turns and walks to me with a defeated expression. “Don’t mistake me, Kel, if I had the opportunity, I-I-I-I’d skin alive anyone who hurt you, who hurt the people I love. But I fear this time, it will be this family’s undoing.” 

Piper walks out of the room. Slater follows. They don’t go far, only into the hall. Slater hugs her, and Piper wraps her arms around my brother’s middle. They whisper to each other. There’s no love lost, no anger or resentment, only comfort and support for one another. Everything I had with Ivy, everything that was ripped away from me. 

“Piper cares about our futures,” Slater states. “And I love my woman more than the stars adore the dark, but until she regains her memories, she’ll never understand why we cannot tolerate barbarity against our family. Why the black tentacles of cruel men must be cut off before they can take a tighter hold.”

“I agree with Slater,” Pacer interjects. “This is how we’ve always survived; however, there will be consequences, there’s always a cost.” 

“Survived,” Mack mutters, staring toward the cabin. He rubs a hand against his chest and looks at me. “I’m with you, brother, always, through to hell and back. Nevertheless, I want it said, I agree with Piper. After everything we’ve overcome, do you want this man, this asshole to be our downfall?” 

“Mackson,” Slater growls. 

Mack spins on Slater, gritting his teeth. “No, Slate, at some point you have to say enough is enough. Your constant need for us to feel safe and powerful is keeping your family in a cycle I want out of. You have a dream, a plan for us all that I have gotten behind, and now you’ve shown it to me I’m desperate for it. I want that life.” 

The anger in Slater’s face dies quickly. 

Pacer stands between my brothers, pushing them back a step from each other. “What fucking plan? I know of a plan to win death race and become millionaires, as well as have our name linked to one of the most dangerous races in history. Anyone will think twice before messing with us again. But something tells me this has nothing to do with it?” 

“It's time to tell them,” Mack declares. 

Pacer crosses his arms against his chest. “Okay, now I’m getting fucking pissed off.” 

“And I’ve grown impatient,” I announce. “Whatever plan you guys have cooking, I’ll hear about it later. What I’m going to do isn’t about my future or my past, it’s about today, my present. I was tied up, stripped, and touched. I want blood on my hands, and nothing anyone says will change that. I want Parks found and I want both men dead before the clock strikes midnight. It’s that simple, and I agree with you, Mack. I don’t want this fucker to be our downfall. Only mine, if it comes to it.” 

Mackson’s right. I understand where he’s coming from. Had this been yesterday, I would never have risked my relationship with Ivy or my freedom. I had someone to live for. Today, all I crave is revenge. I only care about the hours ahead of me. 

Slater shakes his head, preparing to tell me he’s coming with me no matter what. He’s unable to let me go into a situation he can’t control. Anyone else might fly off the handle at his obsessive need to take care of us all, but it’s how Slater gets through each day. I’ll never begrudge my brother any sliver of peace he can find, except this time, if Slater won’t think about his future with the little family he’s now growing, then I’ll do it for him.

“I’ll say it for the last time, I’m going in alone. I’m my own man and I can look after myself. If I’m forced to take even one of you with me, I’ll give up now and walk away, let it eat me alive from the inside out.”  

Mack’s shoulders slump. “If I can’t talk you out of it, then know, no matter what comes of this, we’ll get through it together as a family.” Mack steps away, but then suddenly turns back around to me. “If he’s not on the boat ramp, where he’s been since I arrived, then the back porch entrance should be your easiest way in.”

Slapping right hands and shoulder bumping, I thank Mackson as he turns and walks over to his car.

 “I’m pissed about so much right now,” Pacer says, “But if this is what you want, Kel, promise me you’ll make the motherfucker scream.” 

“You know it.” A dark chuckle escapes me, and I fist bump Pace. 

Turning to my big brother, I wait for Slater’s inevitable final words. “We’ll wait up here, but if I hear a gunshot or you take too long, I’m coming down. I don’t give a fuck how badly you want to do this on your own, Kel. We all go home alive tonight.” Slater’s voice is thick and his expression hard. 

Striding toward the boat ramp, I don’t nod or reply to my brother. I make no promises tonight, because honestly, living through today isn’t high on my priority list.