Chapter 14

Shay explained some things to me about women who had been through traumatic experiences.

“I’m no expert,” she said. “So, take this with a grain of salt. But sometimes people just can’t let go. They’re drawn back. They can’t let themselves heal. That’s what makes you different, Clara. All this time, you’ve been healing. You’ve been getting better. And now, you’ve found a mate who loves you. Who wants to take care of you. Who will make you even better and stronger than ever before.”

I shook my head. Was I really so different than those other women? Sometimes, I caught myself thinking… it could have been me who chose to go back to Kypher, like the others who went back to their mates. One bad thought could have led me to flee my freedom, like those other women did.

“I don’t think I’m special,” I insisted.

“But you are,” she said. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along. I’ve known it since I first met you.”

Leaving Shay, I set out for a walk on the Kamani compound. Things had been a bit more solemn than usual since everybody had found out what happened with the women who were taken, and we didn’t know what would happen now that the Ak-hal retrieved their ships. It was frightening to think they were in a better position than before to rebuild their empire on this planet, after everything that we had been through to take them down in the first place.

“I will keep you safe, no matter what happens,” Atik told me when I brought up my concerns.

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” I told him as we walked across the snow, my hand held firmly in his. He always reassured me that he would keep me safe, as if it were some sort of mantra. “There are just so many things to think about. Now, the Ak-hal can kidnap more women. And what will happen with the women who went back to them? So many of them will regret it, but…”

“You always worry about everyone else,” said Atik. “But never about yourself.”

I looked over at him. “What do you mean?”

“You are important too.”

“Well, I mean…”

“To me, you are the most important person.”

I felt my face heat up at this statement. The idea that I could be so important to anyone, but especially to someone like Atik… it sent my head spinning in a million directions. Thinking back to that shy girl I had been back in that ballroom, that girl who had willingly gone with the Ak-hal for the promise of what had seemed like love at the time…

So much had happened since then. But I was still that girl. I had just learned a lot of hard truths about the world. More importantly, though, I had found someone to stand beside me. Someone who cared about my thoughts and my opinions. Someone who didn’t want to control me. Someone who would allow me to be me.

As we walked back to our room, I looked over at him. I could never stop looking at him, and not just because he was beautiful. When I looked at Atik, I finally saw somewhere that I belonged. I knew that when I was by his side, I didn’t want or need to be anywhere else.

“I love you,” I said. I couldn’t say it often enough.

“I love you,” said Atik, turning around to me and leaning down, tracing his lips over mine as he tangled his fingers through my curls. I closed my eyes and breathed in softly as those lips trailed down, tracing a path along my jaw and my throat, finally coming to rest at that sweet spot on my chest that he knew drove me crazy. Then I felt his fingers undo the closures of my jumpsuit, and a chill crept along my skin as it was exposed to the cool air.

Atik eased back onto the furred bedding, pulling me down with him. I smiled gently, laying my hand on his cheek as I stared deep into his eyes, still unable to believe that I had been so lucky to find him in all the trials and tribulations. Sometimes, I still thought I was only dreaming. But no… this was no dream. No dream could feel like this, I told myself as his hands reached up to touch my bare skin, to cup my breasts, and tease my nipples, sending shockwaves through my body.

I made my way astride him, and eased myself down, feeling him push inside me. Then holding his hands, I moved, building up a rhythm, slow at first, then faster and faster…

“You’re everything,” I said as I rode him. “You’re everything that I ever wanted.”

He was my light in the darkness. He was my heart. But more than anything, he was the thing that had brought me out of the depths when I had most needed a way out. He had given me a reason to finally realize that it was all right to love myself. How could I not love the thing that he loved so much? I knew that things wouldn’t always be easy. I knew that challenges still awaited us. Things hadn’t turned out the way we thought they would. But whatever happened, we could keep on fighting, because we had each other.

I had been through so much, but with Atik by my side, I was healing.