Chapter Twelve
Marynne
Asking Sam to kiss me was probably one of the stupidest things I'd ever done, and definitely the hardest, but I simply couldn't keep on wondering. The night he kissed me the first time, he promised not to hurt me. And the feel of his mouth on mine haunted every moment, waking or asleep. I needed to find out if that was a one-time thing, or if it would happen every time. And I needed to know if he meant what he said.
The answer to my first question was a very definite yes. When his lips touched mine, everything in my body woke up and took notice. His subtle commands made it all intense, and left me wanting so much more. My entire body buzzed, and he'd done nothing more than touch my mouth with his.
Was this what my friends were all so enamored with in college? They never included me in their 'chick nights', since Grandmother refused to allow me to hang out anywhere but the library, and only then if I proved I had an assignment I couldn't complete at home. I often heard hints, though, after they'd gone out with some guy, about whether or not he was a good kisser. I thought Sam qualified as a great kisser.
He pulled back, breathing hard, and leaned his forehead against mine. "Sweetheart, I'm going to hold you close now." He didn't ask, just informed me.
His hands came down to rest on my hips and tugged me closer, until my front pressed close to his. He moaned against my mouth and kissed me again. I kept waiting for some hint of the beast Grandmother warned me about to show itself, but it didn't. Sam stayed true to his word and did exactly as he said.
The next time he drew away, he practically panted. "You're so fucking incredible, Marynne. I can't believe you're even real." He chuckled a little. "The moment I first saw you, I would never have imagined this. You seemed like an entitled heiress bitch."
I laughed. "I was an entitled heiress bitch. I guess you and your family gave me the Quick Start guide to being a real person, like one of those guide things you get with a new phone so you can use it without reading the manual." It was true. So many of the things I thought I knew about the world turned out to be dead wrong. Gratitude filled my heart. "Thank you."
He kissed the top of my head. "I'm glad you decided to drive up under my truck."
I laughed again. "Me, too." I tried in vain to remember the person I'd been that day. I never thought of myself as a bad person before, and I wasn't, but I certainly took a lot of things for granted.
"Feel like taking a little walk?" He moved and tucked me in close to his side, one arm protectively around me.
I gave an eager nod. Anything to spend more time with him in this mood. "Lead the way."
He led me around the house to a little garden, where I'd seen Jake and Ande sitting a few evenings ago. He pointed out the wooden double glider at the edge. "This was Gramma's favorite place to sit in the evenings. She'd work on all kinds of little things, and if one of us boys happened to be around, sometimes she'd let us help. Other times, she told us stories about our family and the things they accomplished generations ago." He sat and tugged my hand until I sat beside him.
I took in how the moonbeams played among the pots and trellis' in the garden, though most of the herbs were finished for the season. "I can see why she liked it. It's beautiful out here." My imagination conjured up a tiny version of Sam sitting there, listening with rapt attention. "You were lucky to have her."
He toyed with the ends of my hair where it lay over my shoulder. "Yes, we were. Not a day goes by that I don't miss her, and I know it's the same for Nate, Jake, and Dad. We were all close to her in our own ways."
Bitterness curled my heart a little. "I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if things were different. If my parents hadn't died, or if Grandmother were different."
He stayed quiet a moment, trailing his fingertips up and down my arm. "I want to wish you'd had that, something better. But then I think, if you had, you might not be the woman you are right now, and you might not be sitting here with me. I wouldn't trade that for anything."
I laid my head back on his shoulder and studied the constellations hanging so near, yet so far. What would happen if I asked him for more than a kiss? Would he turn into a beast then? My heart told me no, but the possibility still terrified me. Sometimes, at the most unexpected moments, clear memories would surface of that boy's rough hands groping me, and painfully squeezing my breasts. What if Sam turned into that?
"What are you thinking?" The soft words interrupted the replay of Grandmother's barrage of warnings about men and the things they expected, and took, from women.
I pushed all the memories back. Concentrate on the present. The future. "I'm just wondering…" I stopped. I couldn't say it. What if he took that as permission and then went too far?
"Wondering what would happen if I touched you here?" His fingertips skimmed over my breast. My entire body tightened in response, but not with fear. With wanting something. More. "Or here." The back of his thumb brushed against my nipple and harsh longing shot straight to my center. "I won't hurt you, Marynne. No matter how many times that woman's nonsense runs through your head." He dipped his head and claimed my mouth again with a new level of intensity. While he kissed me, his hands stayed busy, stroking and coaxing various responses from my body.
"Mmm. Do you trust me, Marynne? Trust me to not take anything you're not willing to give?" The rumbled words both excited and terrified me.
Despite everything, all the dire predictions Grandmother made my entire life, I couldn't bring myself to actually fear Sam in that moment. He'd shown me nothing to make me believe otherwise. I reminded myself to stay in the present, and focus on the future. Forget the past. "Yes." The word came out on a gasp as he moved his wicked lips down my throat, licking and nipping, and wreaking havoc with my senses.
"Go somewhere more private with me? Where no one will overhear us, or walk in?" The question begged me to take a huge chance with him.
"Okay." God help me, I agreed.
Sam
When she agreed, I wanted to cry in relief. Gaining this much of her trust meant the world to me, and put everything, the whole world, within reach. "Wait for me right here. I'll be back in two minutes." I rushed inside, trying to stay silent, unsuccessfully.
"Something wrong, Sam?" Nate spoke from the open door of his room. Nosy bastard.
"Nope." I hurried into my own room, grabbed the quilt off the bed and folded it as neatly as possible in two-point-nine seconds, and prepared to run the Nate-gauntlet again.
"Well, where's the fire? Why you in such a hurry?" He followed me back down the hall.
I stopped and turned to face him. "Go to bed, Nate. There's nothing you need to worry about."
Sudden understanding dawned in his face. "You sure? You better be good to her, Sam. I'd hate to have to kill my own brother."
"Positive. She's fine." Fully aware of Marynne sitting out there waiting for me, I turned my back on him and walked away, even though I wanted to sprint. When I reached the garden, she was still there, much to my relief. "I'm sorry for taking so long." I gathered her to me. "You still trust me?"
She nodded, her eyes luminous with both want and fear.
I tucked the quilt under my arm and wrapped my other arm around her shoulders. "If you get scared, or just want to come back to the house, any time, for any reason, you just say it. Okay?" I needed her to understand this was on her terms. She had all the control here.
She nodded and leaned into me as I led her toward my favorite spot, grateful for the warm night so late in the year. "Where are we going?"
"The Lookout. When the Quicks first came here to settle, there was always a threat of war parties passing through, or worse, white outlaws. So they set up the first camp around a little rise, and they kept a sentry posted. Several times, it saved their lives. Now, it's just a quiet spot to sit and relax." I wanted to explain the significance of that spot to her, but words failed me. Most of the Quick marriages in generations past began on that spot. And probably a lot of the babies, too. Taking her there betrayed the depth of what I felt for her, even if only to me. If my brothers knew, they would understand entirely.
We walked about twenty minutes, talking about anything and everything, all nonsense. I spoke only to get her to reply so I could hear her voice again. The words were meaningless. I only needed the sound. Finally, we approached the small copse of trees that now stood on the leeward side of the Lookout.
"Try to watch your step. We've cleaned it up over the years, but there are still pieces of old foundations and hearths. Don't want you to trip over anything." I drew her as close as possible, and considered swinging her up into my arms. Only the risk of tripping myself and hurting her kept me from it. In this case, she was safer on her own feet.
We climbed until we reached the top of the small knoll. While the trees blocked the view of the house and barns, the rest of the property spread out before us, illuminated like some kind of magical place in the moonlight. She gave a little gasp as she looked. "Is this all Quick property?"
"It is." I spread the quilt on the ground at our feet and sat down, ignoring the tired protests of my knees.
"It's beautiful here. I can see why your ancestors chose to stay." She smiled back at me, then sat on the other side of the quilt, too far away, keeping her gaze lowered. "What are we doing here, Sam?"
I moved close enough to glide my fingertips along her jeans-clad knee, not pushing, just touching. "We're here for you to learn a few things that I really think you'll like. Remember what I said earlier. All you have to do is say it, and we'll go straight back to the house."
She nodded, then looked up. The stark fear in her eyes hit me like a punch to the gut. "Okay."
I felt like an ass. "Marynne, if this is too much, we can go back now. Or we can just sit here and talk."
"No. I asked for more. And I want…so much, but I'm still afraid." She turned to gaze over the pastures. "I can't get Grandmother's voice out of my head."
"Well, that's why we're here. To send her packing." I sifted her hair through my fingers, marveling at the texture. How could anything be so soft? I let it curl around my knuckles.
She took a deep breath. "When I was fifteen, some girls at school invited me to a party. I wanted to go so badly, but Grandmother forbade it. For the first time, I rebelled. I snuck out and met my friends, and went to the party. A boy I liked was there. He was really nice to me, and we talked. After a while, he brought me a drink."
Dread for her next words sank like a rock in my gut. Shit. I waited for her to go on.
"Things got really fuzzy after that. Sometimes, I remember bits and pieces. Like how badly it hurt when he pinched my nipple. And how Grandmother's driver carried me out of there. I'm still not entirely sure what happened."
I couldn't hold the words back. "Did he—" I stopped, unwilling to finish the question.
She shook her head. "I don't know for sure. The doctor said there was no sign of trauma, but said that only meant I hadn't been injured."
I understood now. The compulsion to replace those bad memories with good ones made me reach for her. "Come here." Her whole body trembled, but she moved closer, scooting over the quilt. I shifted around until we were face to face, and side by side. "Gonna kiss you now." And I did. I swallowed her small whimper and gave myself over to showing her the world in that kiss. "Don't forget, all you have to do is say no, and I'll stop."
Gathering her closer, I let my hands stroke and explore, soothing her nerves. Gradually, her shaking subsided. "Sam. More." Her breathless plea nearly made me come in my jeans.
I groaned, filling my hand with her breast, gently teasing her nipple. She moaned again and her fingers clutched at my chest. The buttons of her shirt parted easily as I licked down her neck, swirling my tongue over her pulse. The urge to suck hard, to leave my mark on her, to stake my claim for all to see, hit hard, and I gave in to it.
Her shirt parted and I drew back with a hiss, anxious to see her. The moonlight cast her curves in sharp contrast, making me need to explore every shadow, every highlight. I traced my fingers over her, slightly startled to note how my own hands shook. I wanted to ask if she were still okay, but hesitated. I didn't want to jerk her from the moment and take her back to her fear, so I forced myself to move slowly and trust her to stop me if it became too much. When she thrust her breast into my hand with a moan, seeking more, I slid the cup of her bra down to reveal her perfect nipple.
At the first breath of warm air over her sensitive flesh, she moaned and arched her body until I lay her back and rested beside her. I flicked my tongue over her peak and she cried out, arching again. I lavished attention on her breasts, exploring every inch of skin. She trembled in my arms again, but this time, not from fear. Her hips rolled against me, seeking friction.
Still moving as slowly as humanly possible in the situation, I kissed down over her ribs, across her belly, and opened her jeans. She froze for a second as I started to pull them over her hips, but my tongue on her lower belly drew her attention back to more important matters.
She lay there before me, naked, spread in wanton need and such innocence. "I'm going to worship every inch of you." I began to make good on my word, shifting around so I could begin with her toes. She flexed and I nibbled the arch of her foot in passing, then worked up to the back of her knee. Instinct rocked her hips and dug her fingers into my hair as I spread her knees further and leaned in to breathe in her scent.
The first time I brushed my fingers over her, her muscles locked with the intensity of her response. Then she arched toward me with a wordless mewling plea. Ever so gently, I stroked her. So fucking wet and ready. I found her clit with a slight touch.
She fell apart, her body writhing as she moaned, then cried out my name.
Anxious to keep it going, I slipped the tip of my finger in her tight entrance. Her heat thrust my dick against the ground, desperate for any friction. She gasped and her muscles gripped my finger as I moved it deeper. And then I swirled my tongue over her clit.
"Sam!" Her scream rocked my world. I would move heaven and hell both to hear that cry again. "Oh, God!" I added a second finger.
When she finally lay lax and sated, I drew back to watch her. The moonlight gleamed on the faint sheen of sweat on her skin, and turned her eyes to bottomless pits of something that looked to me like hope.
A sudden sob wracked her body, and my heart leapt with horror. "Shit, sweetheart, are you okay? Please tell me I didn't hurt you?" Desperate to console her, I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her.
She cried on my chest and I frantically searched for anything I might have done wrong. Finally, the storm subsided. "I'm sorry. You didn't hurt me. That…that was incredibly beautiful. I never imagined it could be like that,"
Relieved, I stroked her hair and silently begged my demanding hard-on to go down. This was enough for one night. "I'm glad you liked it." I kissed along her hair line. "Because I want to do it again. A lot." I nuzzled under her chin, tickling her, and she granted me a giggle.
I settled again, relaxed and grateful to have her in my arms. Content.
"That wasn't all of it." Her soft voice sounded nervous again.
"No, it wasn't, but it's enough for now." My dick practically mutinied at those words. "Tonight was all about you."
"But what about you? Didn't you want to?"
Dear God, only a short time before, she trembled in fear at the prospect of sex, and now she was concerned for me. I caught her hand and moved it to the front of my jeans and rocked shamelessly against her. "More than anything in the world. Except giving you pleasure."
She kept her hand where I put it even after I let go, and her fingers began a maddening exploration through the denim of my jeans. "But, doesn't it hurt if you don't finish when you want to?"
I chuckled. "It's definitely uncomfortable, but I'll live. We'll get to that part when you're ready."