Kelly slipped into the employee bathroom and soaked in the silence of the small haven. The room was lit with a failing fluorescent light that sputtered overhead, giving light to the outmoded and decaying tile that had been obsolete in the 50’s. Beyond the door the old jukebox could still be heard faintly but she savored the solitude that she had for a moment.

She locked the deadbolt on the door, securing her privacy and stepped forward into the dimly lit room and stood before the mirror. The figure that looked back on her wasn’t a terrible looking thing… at least not completely. Her hair hung in thin blonde tendrils around her face, framing a visage of fair complexion and light brown eyes. Attached to those were a slender neck, a bosom that was ample, and a narrow waist. But all of it seemed ridiculous in the vintage 50’s waitress uniform that she wore, a thing of fading pink with a hideous hat crowned in lace and offset by a white apron.

“Sexy,” she murmured to her reflection.

She cringed at the word. Being sexy was exactly the problem.

To prove it, she turned around and lifted up the slender skirt of her uniform and observed the damage that had been done there.

On her left ass cheek there was the discernable impression of a forming bruise. A gift from a patron that believed the illusion that her appearance suggested: sexy. The pain that had come from the pinching fingers had been hard, almost as hard as the man that had given it to her.

“Fucking Turk,” she grumbled, surveying the damage.

Turk was a constant patron here at the diner. And like most of the other people who came in, he worked in the quarry pit. As a result, he was large, muscular, and he was accustomed to getting what he wanted.

Touchy Turk, the others in the diner had called him. On her first day here, years before, the other waitresses had warned her about him. He was an older man, pushing sixty or seventy with a beard that made him look like Santa Claus in the off-season. She wasn’t the only waitress that he flirted with; she wasn’t even the only one that he got particularly touchy with. But there were days when he was worse than usual.

With a sigh she lowered her skirt, covering the bruise. A couple of days on and it would be faded enough to where she wouldn’t even feel it. She had learned to deal with that; the touching, the teasing, the talking… it was all part of the job.

She had always mused that the more humiliating facets of her job would be lessened if they could only do without the stupid uniforms.

“We’re a vintage diner,” her manager had told her on day one. “Participation is payment.” That had been all he’d said and for the sake of needing money in a town where traditions meant a lot, she had endured it.

Holy Oaks wasn’t a city that could be found easily on any map. But if one looked closely enough in the historical records they would find that it once was famous for turning out fighter planes during World War II. It didn’t do much else. And that tradition was what it clung to.

Convinced that the bruise was nothing large to worry about she sighed. She had a few minutes at least before she would be missed. She checked the front pocket of her waitressing apron and looked at the change that Turk had left for her tip.

Two crumpled $1 bills sat there.

“Fifteen percent of the bill my ass,” she muttered, stuffing the bills back into her pocket. Turk, even if he was an asshole, had been the only one to tip her today. And though the payment was meager, she would take it. Every little bit helped. That also had been a lesson that she’d learned on day one.

Her phone chirped, shattering the brief silence of the restroom.

She nearly jumped, wondering who was trying to get in touch with her now. She removed her phone from her other pocket and checked the screen. She had a new text message… from a number that she didn’t recognize.

She frowned at the small screen.

That made 19 new messages today and all from the same number. She’d gotten into the habit of ignoring texts from numbers she didn’t know. Too many scams and whatever were out there these days that it seemed like a prudent measure. But now, with 19 texts from the same number, she felt a stab of curiosity.

“Fuck it,” she said and opened the text.

She scrolled through them all. They were nothing fancy, there was nothing indicative of whom the sender was or that there was any kind of a scam to be had. They were simple things: “Hi”. “What’re you doing?” “I’ve got so much to tell you.” They went on and on like that. It wasn’t until she got to the bottom that she realized the identity of the sender… and her intentions.

“I’m getting married!” … “Can’t wait to see you”… “We can hang out under South Bridge like we used to”… “I want you to be there!”…“Coming home in a couple days.”

Kelly’s jaw nearly dropped when she realized what this meant. As if to answer the texts she nearly whispered, “Susie?”

It had to be. Susie Cinch was her best friend in high school and Susie had been the only one – ever – that she had hung out with under South Bridge. It had been their little hideaway. A place where they did whatever they wanted… a place where they could tell each other anything… a place that was, well, theirs.

The suddenness of it hit her like an invisible fist to her chest. Susie was coming home? She was getting married? She was going to get married here?

“What the fuck for?” she murmured. Holy Oaks was the kind of place where any of the native-born residents all shared the same dream: to get out. Susie had been one of those that had managed this dream and she’d clung to it. But somewhere along the way they had lost touch. Susie was successful at her job, no real surprise there, but Kelly had always thought that she was too successful to stay in touch with a lowly urbanite like her. In truth, Kelly hadn’t really minded the silence that had formed between them. But now, spanning years since they had last spoken, Susie was reaching out to her as if they’d never lost touch. And though her text messages had gone unanswered, she had kept them coming as though she knew that Kelly had – or eventually would – read them.

Just like Susie… she thought.

More than nostalgia washed over her as she reread the texts. She had not input Susie’s number into her phone for years now, but it seemed that Susie never lost hers. Not surprising really, Kelly had never changed her number. There had never been any reason to.

But still, the vastness of it all was surprising. Susie was coming home. She was getting married. And that was where the nostalgia faded and the worry set in. Weddings were happier times… times when relatives came together from wherever in the world they were to witness the happy occasion. At least, all of the close relatives would come home.

Tightness slipped into her belly that threatened to tie her stomach like a balloon animal. She took several deep breaths and shut her eyes, trying to calm herself down. Worry… memories… fatigue… all of it came over her at once and she had no desire to feel any of it. She was already tired and suddenly it felt like more weight was about to be heaped upon her shoulders.

It doesn’t mean anything, she told herself. It doesn’t mean anything.

There was a knock on the door that startled her and she nearly jumped.

“Kelly? You okay in there?”

She recognized the voice of Marci, one of the other waitresses.

“Yeah,” she replied, stuffing her phone back into her apron. To complete her ruse she flushed the toilet. “I’ll be right out.”

“Ok. New customers at table three,” Marci’s voice said.

“Thanks,” she replied, turning on the sink as though she were washing her hands.

The sound of receding footsteps outside told her that she had a few more precious seconds of solitude. She took a moment to actually splash some of the cold water on her face and the tingling sensation felt refreshing. She looked again at her reflected twin and the figure that stood there wasn’t the same as that which had been there a moment before.

She looked aged, not like the twenty-something-year-old that had stood there a moment before, but more like one of those older girls that Susie and a younger version of herself used to make fun of. She looked like one of those girls that had tried to take on too much, too soon and paid the price for it.

Looks like the joke’s on me now, she thought.

She shut off the sink, dried her face, put on her best smile – though she didn’t really feel it – and stepped back out in her real life.

By the time she made it home, the sun had set and the air was hot and dry as it usually was in Holy Oaks during the summer months at night. The wind’s breath was as dry as the prairie on the far side of town and it drew sweat that formed beads on her skin that made her feel sticky.

She always looked forward to this part of the day: going home from work. Those few precious minutes between leaving the diner and getting to her front door felt like they were entirely her own. Brief, though they were they were precious. But at least returning to her front door she was returning to a part of her life that had been hard, but at least it was worth it.

When she opened her door the soft sounds of the TV reached her ears and across the narrow living room of her apartment she saw her babysitter stir on the couch.

The sitter, a young brunette girl that was only just fifteen, sat up on the couch. In a way, she reminded Kelly of herself in her younger days. She was full of spunk and had plans for the future and they included getting out of Holy Oaks. Perhaps that had been the reason Kelly liked her so much.

“Hi, Kelly,” the young teen said in a near whisper.

“Hi, Rachel,” Kelly replied, her voice matching. She looked around the apartment. All of the toys were put away when the floor should have been littered with them. Most of the lights were off, save for the kitchen and hall light. And the fading smell of something delicious wafted in from the kitchen. “Is she…?”

“Out like a light,” Rachel confirmed. “She played hard and wore herself out today.” She pointed off towards the kitchen. “I made a couple of steaks. She ate her fill. I fixed a plate for you and put in the microwave.”

Kelly smiled. Maybe that was the reason she liked Rachel so much. When summer ended and school started up again, she would miss the young girl’s capacity to keep her child company. “You’re a godsend.” She reached into her pocket and fished out her wallet. She removed a $20 and passed it to the eager teen. “Thanks again.”

“No problem,” Rachel said, picking up her shoulder bag and slinging it over her shoulder. “Same time tomorrow?”

Kelly nodded. “Same time.”

The teen smiled, gathered up the few things that she had brought with her and quietly excused herself from the apartment.

Alone for a moment, Kelly took the time to strip out of her waitresses uniform and dump her clothes into the washer, smelling the familiar odors of the restaurant on them as she did so. She slipped into a housecoat and tiptoed to the second bedroom of the apartment. The door was cracked open just enough for her to peer inside. She smiled at what she saw there.

Lying in the bed, curled up under her sheets and wrapped in her favorite blue blanket was a vision of surpassing loveliness.

A small head with dark brown curly hair lay pressed against the pillow. Her mouth was slightly open and drooling, her favorite teddy bear clutched under one arm smiled at her almost reassuringly.

Kelly softly chuckled. Normally her daughter was up and wide awake by the time she got home. She must have played hard today.

She smiled at her daughter and blew a gentle kiss across the room to the sleeping figure in the bed. “Goodnight, Ellie.”

She found the plate in the microwave that Rachel had told her of and heated it up, silently thanking god that she didn’t have to cook for herself tonight. One of the drawbacks to being a waitress, she thought, was that she had to deal with food all day. And by the time she got home, she was so sick of the thought of food that she would rather go hungry herself. But tonight, she found Rachel’s steak beckoning her. It was a small and simple thing framed in what she was sure had been canned vegetables, but she it looked good enough.

She poured herself a glass of wine, eager for some time to relax. For a brief moment she considered reaching into her closet and pulling out the old case that was there, containing one of the last elements from her more innocent days. But no… pulling that case out was a bad idea. Not just because it would make noise that could rouse Ellie from her rest, but because she didn’t really care to reattach herself to the memories inherent in the case’s contents.

No, it was peaceful now. And that was the way she needed to keep it. When Ellie was awake, her limits would be tested in the ways of energy. She would have none, and trying to keep up with a four-year-old only taxed her further. The chance to recharge her batteries was a rare delight.

She settled in front of the TV and set her dinner on a TV tray and checked to see what Rachel had been watching. Whatever the show was, it was on a commercial. She took the opportunity to cut and chew a piece of her steak. It was good, but the wine was better.

When the show came back on she nearly choked when she saw what Rachel had been watching.

Monday Night Football.

That alone was nothing strange; she knew that Rachel liked to watch football. They’d watched a few games together. But the game that was on… it didn’t feature Rachel’s preferred team. It was for another game… another team…

Why…?

And as if it were a sign from god the image on the screen opened up with the profile and stats of a particular player that the announcers spoke of heartily, almost reverently. Their words mocked her without them even realizing it and she hated them for it. They spoke of a player that was Susie’s older brother… a player she had not seen in four years.

She scrambled for the remote and quickly clicked the TV off. She sat there in the dark, staring at the blank screen that only a moment before had held his image. And in the dark, she stared at the blank screen.

“It doesn’t mean anything… it doesn’t mean anything…”

Chad Cinch sat on the chair that came supplied with his hotel room. He rested his weight evenly across the backrest of the chair, a glass of chilled whiskey in one hand. The sun was only just beginning to creep over the horizon, filling the room with its early rays and chasing away the last pockets of the night. He looked down at the sleeping form in his bed.

It was a woman that laid there.

She was naked, but half-covered in the sheets that they had shared. Her hair was a tangled mess that was nearly as twisted as the blankets. Her chest slowly rose and sank with the gentle breaths that she took. Her skin was olive-colored and he could see that she wore a tattoo on the small of her back.

A tramp stamp, he thought with amusement.

He’d gotten a good look at it last night.

She’d liked it doggy-style, this one. She had responded well to his thrusts, her moans had been enough to urge him on. She’d been more commanding than other women he’d fucked before. She had told him where she liked to be touched… how hard she wanted him to fuck her… that she wanted them to be in front of an open window while she sucked his cock so the whole world could see she was fucking an NFL star.

Joke’s on her, he thought, sipping his whiskey. The windows to the room were tinted. Nobody could have seen them, but she didn’t know that. Still, there was something exciting in her request. He’d never given in to voyeurism before. This girl had surprised him with that. None of the others before her had ever made such a demand. It had been different if not fleeting.

He would remember that: that she was different. But he wouldn’t remember anything else. Hell, he didn’t even remember her name. She had been like so many others that he’d found waiting for him outside the locker room after the game. Dressed somewhat slutty and with a face that was pleading for attention. And once he’d checked to be sure that she wasn’t some minor that an angry father would sue for millions, he’d brought her here.

No, she was definitely no teen looking to up her social status. In bed she’d demonstrated a few techniques that he knew only a practiced woman would know. And clearly she’d been practicing for a long time.

He sipped his whiskey, thinking that this nameless girl was like so many others: a star-fucker. Whatever it was that she’d hoped to get out of this, he felt certain that she’d gotten it. He’d taken so many women to bed that wanted something from him other than his body.

Some of them just wanted to be close to someone famous. Others had wanted bragging rights with their own circle of friends. But most, he knew, just wanted to be close to danger.

He almost chuckled again at that thought. “Bad Chad” the papers called him. It was a nickname that was so childish that it bordered on stupid. Apparently those that followed his career with interest couldn’t think of anything better. Not because he was overly troublesome like a few others in the business, nor was his reputation as a miscreant entirely original. But he’d hit the milestones. He’d been arrested once or twice, he’d been suspended for a few games, and there were wild rumors flying around about him that he would bed debutantes in every city he visited when they played away from home. The latter could not be substantiated, of course, which added to the mystery of Chad Cinch. And it was a mystery that so many women before now had tried to crack.

He grinned inwardly at that. The secret was nothing major. It was the simplest thing about his career in point of fact. The truth was: he didn’t care.

He didn’t care about his criminal record. He didn’t care what the public thought of him. He didn’t care how he was punished for his legal troubles. He didn’t care how his coaches thought best to reprimand him for this transgression or the other. And the reason was that he put up points during the game… he brought people into the stadiums… generally speaking, his adverse behavior was balanced – maybe even cancelled out – by the fact that he made lots of people money. It was all part of the package of being a pro-athlete. It had its quirks as well as its perks.

Just like this woman before him.

At first he’d been excited about having a different woman after every game… sometimes even after every practice… or whenever he wanted. There was something nostalgic about it. It reminded him of home, back in the days when he had just been a high school tailback that everyone loved and because he was popular for his sportsmanship. That he was star athlete had spread many a girl’s legs for him even then. He was on fire and so many lovely girls had been eager to get warm near that flame. He’d been happy to oblige.

At least he had at first.

He remembered some of them.

He’d had a cheerleader or two, both from rival teams. There had been a stewardess on one of their trips across the country. There had been a news reporter inside the back of her own news van. There had been a roadie that had snuck him into one of their trucks. There was that one girl that sold concessions at the game. There had even been a night when he’d enjoyed a couple of rich men’s daughters. They all blurred together in one never-ending parade of images that were held together by sweat and lust.

It had been fun in the very beginning.

But somewhere along the way, even the perks of his job had lost their appeal. It was too easy to bring these women to bed. There was no challenge to it anymore. They stood outside the locker room waiting for him, flashing him their brilliant smiles and showing a little – or a lot – of cleavage hoping to catch his attention. And those that did won the prize that the sleeping girl in his bed had enjoyed: a night with an NFL bad boy.

It was the same damn principal as having a pizza delivered. And it was pizza that was growing stale. He could eat it, but he couldn’t live off of it. Not anymore.

That made him smile as sipped his drink again, watching the naked woman before him whose name he did not know.

She didn’t begin to stir until he began moving around the room and packing himself up for the trip. She finally woke up to the sounds of a zipper being closed on a duffle bag. She blinked the sleep from her eyes and looked around drowsily, taking in the sights of everything that was around her as she sat up, the sheets falling away from her naked form. When she saw him, she put on a small smile as if expecting him to return the expression.

He didn’t. He looked away as if she wasn’t even there.

Then her eyes fell onto his bag, sitting idly on the edge of the bed and being filled with his clothes. He stood shirtless before her, the tattoos and scars of past games and old impulses greeted her.

“You’re leaving?” she asked sleepily, trying to flash the smile that he had first noticed last night. She played with the sheets, making sure that both her tits were visible as if inviting him back to bed.

His sexual energy did stir, but his interest didn’t. He’d had her… she’d been vibrant and full of energy and before her energy had been spent she’d made sure that they did everything she wanted. Apart from sucking him in front of what she thought was in view of the whole world, she’d done nothing to impress him. And Chad wasn’t in the habit of doing things that bored him.

“Flight leaves at ten,” he said, putting his shirt inside the bag. “It’s eight-thirty now. I have to get to the airport.”

She furrowed her brow in confusion. “I thought you weren’t leaving until the day after tomorrow?”

“The team leaves the day after tomorrow,” he corrected. “I’m leaving now. I have a special appointment that I need to be getting to.”

She stirred in the bed, sensing his immanent departure, her posture telling him that she didn’t like the idea of him leaving. “Where are you going?”

“Home,” he replied.

She smirked. “Can I come with you?”

He scoffed at the words, like she was telling him that she could fly by attaching propellers to her already hard nipples. “No,” he said flatly.

Her smirk faded. “Why not?”

“Because I only just met you.”

“But…” she asked confusedly. “I thought that… last night…”

He shook his head at her. “Let me ask you something. Do you think you’re the first to fuck me… or the hundredth?”

Her face remained confused. It was clear that she didn’t get the implication.

“Never mind,” he said, turning to pick up a shirt he’d saved from off the back of a chair and pulling it on over his torso.

“Can… can I call you? Maybe visit you in L.A.? That’s where you live, right?” she asked hopefully, grasping at straws. “I can get your address from–”

“No,” he interrupted. “I won’t be in L.A.”

Her look of confusion deepened, offset by a little panic at his sudden departure. “But… I read an interview you gave. You live in L.A.”

“I live part of the time in L.A. during the offseason. But that’s not home,” he replied as he tucked his shirt into his jeans.

“But you said you were going home,” the girl reiterated, getting to her knees as though she might spring on him to try and keep him in the pocket of what was sure to be a high point in her life.

“Yes, I did… and I am,” he said, plucking a jacket from the wardrobe and pulling it on. “My sister is getting married this weekend and there aren’t any airports in our hometown. I have to drive part of the way and I have to get there today.”

The girl’s face brightened, like a cat that saw an unsuspecting and plump mouse that she could sink her claws into. “I love weddings! I can go as your date!”

He ignored her over-eagerness to attach herself to his life. He felt like a shark that had suddenly became aware of the remoras that had attached themselves to him. And all it would take was a small swat of the fin to remove the problem.

“I don’t think so… you’re not that great to have around.”

Her face fell. “But… last night… it was great!”

This time, he did chuckle. “Maybe it was for you.”

She froze at the comment and looked at him confusingly, and a little hurt. This was where his reputation for being “Bad Chad” came into play.

He slung his duffel on over his shoulder and he moved for the door. “Thanks again… whatever your name is,” he said, giving her a final wink and the realization of the simple gesture washed over her as if he’d poured scalding acid on her.

With a soft chuckle he opened and closed the door behind him, hearing the girl quickly scrambling off the bed. Whether she was intending to follow him or not, he couldn’t guess, or maybe she was just eager to get at her precious phone and find the memento that she expected to find there.

She wouldn’t.

He’d gone through the girl’s phone while she slept. Looking for any evidence that she might have had picked up to show off to her friends or worse, a news agency, that could land him in hot water was a habit by this point. It was a simple thing, taught to him by one of the team’s tech gurus so that he wouldn’t wind up in more trouble than he liked. It was as standard a thing to do as getting the girl’s panties off.

He hadn’t been surprised to find that she had a recorder app on her phone that had recorded the whole of their tryst. From the time they’d been in the elevator to the time they’d fallen asleep, she had recorded the sounds of their lovemaking.

Now I know why she called me by name so often, he’d thought.

He’d been quick to delete it.

It always amused him when they tried such things. It was bold. It was also dumb… but bold. He did admire that kind of commitment, even if it was foolish and would amount to nothing.

He walked to the elevator bank and stepped into a vacant car. He’d seen girls chase after him naked through the halls before and his most recent challenger didn’t strike him as the kind that was above being seen naked if only to cling to him for a while longer.

By the time the doors closed, he felt safe that this most recent remora wouldn’t be a problem. Even if she did chase after him, she’d probably be looking for a limo waiting outside the lobby or a fancy sports car being looked after by a valet. He had neither, but had done what normal people did when he wanted to fly under the radar: he had a rental car waiting in the parking garage.

The game may be getting old and the benefits of being a top-rated NFL player might have been getting a bit dim, but one thing that he hadn’t lost interest in was how he left some of these debutantes in the dust.

As the elevator descended, he felt a small wave of nostalgia come over him. He was going home today. Odd as it was, he felt a prickle of uncertainty in that. He hadn’t been home since before he was drafted.

Good old Holy Oaks… he found himself wondering what it would be like to go home after all this time. Would it have changed? Doubtful. Had he changed? Apart from a successful career, not really. How would other people have changed? What about Susie? He hadn’t seen her in years, apart from the yearly family holidays. And what about this guy she was supposed to marry?

All were good questions and ones that he thought would be interesting to get answered. Maybe he could look up a few friends from back then, if any of them were still around.

The thought brought a new memory to the fore of his mind.

Old friends…

Yes… that seemed like something to do. Maybe not any of the guys he’d played ball with or anything. But maybe some of the girl’s he’d known back then. Or maybe he’d look up just one… one that he remembered more than others.

Kelly felt like she was sweating bullets and not because of the heat.

She had finally answered Susie’s texts, citing that she’d left her phone at home all day and that it needed to be recharged before she could use it as the excuse for not having answered sooner. Susie seemed to have bought the excuse easily enough and had sent her the details of their itinerary.

The list of things to be done was almost laughable. The entire wedding had been planned out, down to the minute. Kelly knew that Susie had gone off to California to study filmmaking at UCLA. It seemed that her studies had agreed with her if her own wedding had been organized like a film shoot.

And the first item on that last had been easy: Introduce Kelly to future hubby.

Oddly enough, Susie had actually called her to verify that part of the schedule. And untrue to genuine Hollywood form, Susie had actually sounded quite friendly on the phone. Her voice had changed… she had sounded more confident… stronger… like somewhere she had been hammered on the anvil of industry and been made tougher. Kelly had almost expected to hear the squeaky and excited voice of the girl she had once known.

It had been just another reminder of how people that she had once known had changed. But her? She had changed too… just not in the ways that everyone else had thought she had.

She knew Susie’s car at a distance, even though she had never seen it before. A large custom SUV stood out in Holy Oaks the same way Paris Hilton stuck out in a convent. And though she felt like a nervous wreck, she stood her ground.

What the fuck am I doing here? She asked herself over and over. What the fuck am I doing here?

The sun beat down on her mercilessly, warming her already overheating body. She wore her best outfit, a pant suit that she had only had cause to wear twice before now. It didn’t look like much, but it was the single most professional outfit that she had. And it seemed appropriate enough to wear for a meet-and-greet like this. She hoped it would be enough to perhaps allay suspicion and maybe even offer enough of an excuse as to be pardoned from this wedding.

As the SUV drew nearer she contemplated simply turning and walking away. Susie would never know that it had been her standing here and waiting to meet her old friend and her new fiancé as they came into town. Who was to know? She could always meet up with them later… make some excuse…

No. No, she couldn’t do that. She’d already resolved that the sooner she got this over and done with, the better off she would be. A quick hug, a quick introduction, an endearment or two, some congratulations and… ‘Sorry, Susie, but I can’t be at your wedding. Why? Well… because. Hope it all works out. See ya!’

“Yeah… what could possibly go wrong?” she thought out loud.

As the SUV finally pulled up to the Hayman rest stop, Kelly summed up her courage. The windows were tinted in classic California fashion to keep the paparazzi from peering inside. The license plates were arranged in a manner befitting someone successful as they spelled out “BIGTIME”. Kelly felt herself withering on the inside. To be so near to someone that had enjoyed such success felt like sunbathing naked inside a nuclear reactor.

Just get it over with quick, she told herself.

When the passenger door opened up, a slender figure poured out. She recognized Susie at once. Her hair had been long and streaked different colors when last she had seen it, now it was cut short to the length of her jaw and its natural dark brown. She was still skinny, though her breasts had swelled to an impressive size and her hips were flattering inside the business skirt that she wore. The sunglasses that she wore, Kelly realized, were easily a month’s pay from the diner and Susie wore them as if she had picked them up at the last gas station on the road.

“Oooooh!” Susie exclaimed when she saw her.

Despite herself, Kelly felt the warmth of recognition in seeing her old friend.

Susie rushed to her and threw her arms around her and Kelly couldn’t help but reciprocate. The embrace was tender and lasted only a moment before Susie pulled away, beaming at her.

“Fuck, it’s good to see you!” Susie said, her voice nearly teary.

Kelly smiled. “Well, it’s nice to know that Hollywood hasn’t dulled your mouth any.”

Susie laughed. “Are you kidding? The more foul-mouthed you are out there, the more people tend to respect you.” She took a step back and took in the sight of Kelly’s appearance. “And look at you! Julliard seems to have agreed with you! When did you get back into town?”

Kelly suddenly felt self-conscious for a moment. She had thought that her suit – bought cheap at a local store – wouldn’t fool someone whose daily business included the latest fashions. She had thought that Susie would see right through it and maybe… mock her for it? But if she was merely being polite, Kelly couldn’t tell.

Good old, Susie.

“Uh… well, I just got in really…” she lied quickly.

Susie smiled brightly at her. “Oh, you’ve got to tell me everything! I want to hear every last detail of how Julliard treated you.” She gasped with delight. “Oh, but first, you have to meet my future husband!” She turned back to the car. “Francis!”

Kelly almost laughed. “Francis?” she asked, genuinely curious.

Susie smirked. “I know, not exactly my type when we were in school, right? But you know… he grew on me.”

“Francis,” Kelly reiterated.

Susie’s smirk widened, showing a perfect row of teeth. “Back in L.A., if anyone knows what’s good for them, they call him ‘Francis’. He doesn’t respond well to anything else.” She turned a little red. “Well… he does when I say it.”

Kelly wasn’t sure if she was jealous or was about to be sick. She’d seen too many movies where the people told of in those stories were so perfect that they couldn’t possibly be real. And here was Susie and her intended and they seemed… well, perfect.

“Francis!” Susie called out again.

From inside the SUV the driver-side door opened and out came a figure that was enough to confirm that Kelly felt like she wanted to be sick.

Francis looked like a statue that had been magically brought to life. His chin was square and perfect, his hair hung in thin red tendrils that reached down to his shoulders. His eyes were hidden behind the squared frames of gold-rimmed sunglasses. He wore a suit, sans tie, and his shoes were brightly shined. He reminded her of one of those swollen-muscled men in kilts on the covers of romance novels. All that was missing was the kilt.

As Francis approached, he smiled, and she saw that he too had a perfect set of teeth. Kelly felt her own inadequacies growing as if they were being pumped with steroids. The desire to leave was welling up inside of her like a water balloon.

“Ah, you must be the amazing Kelly that I’ve heard so much about,” Francis said as he came to stand next to Susie. He extended a hand to her and Kelly saw an expensive gold watch resting on his wrist.

Unable to avoid the niceties she took his hand and gently shook it. “I’m pleased to meet you, Francis,” she replied nicely.

Francis smiled back at her and put his arm adoringly around Susie. “I couldn’t believe it when Susie told me that her best friend was a student at Julliard and that she would be at our wedding.” His smile was warm and inviting. “You must play for us.”

Kelly felt a surge of panic. “Oh, well… I’m sure you don’t want to hear me play.”

“Nonsense,” Francis said quickly. “Susie tells me that your instrument of choice is the violin? I love the violin. And to have a Julliard student here is something that I couldn’t have hoped for.”

Kelly was flattered, but panic still reigned supreme in her heart. “Well, I’m not as good as some of my, uh, classmates.”

“She’s lying,” Susie put in. “She was a prodigy as early as I can remember. One day for show-and-tell in school she brought her violin and played Scheherazade.”

“Really?” Francis asked, astounded. “But that’s one of the most difficult pieces to ever be played! And you did it, when? First… second grade?”

Kelly blushed. “Kindergarten, actually.”

Francis’ mouth gaped with surprise and awe. Kelly felt a genuine moment of achievement and nostalgia.

“Susie… she has to play at our wedding.”

The moment died. “Excuse me?”

“Wouldn’t it be amazing? Your best friend playing for us?”

Susie beamed. “Yes! That would be amazing!”

Kelly shook her head fervently. “No! No, no, no! I have a hard enough time performing for my professors,” she said, inventing wildly. “I-I can’t play for your wedding!”

“You must! I insist!” Francis said sternly. “I’ll call the wedding coordinator, I’m sure we can work it in.”

“I can’t be at your wedding!” Kelly blurted out desperately.

Susie and Francis both stood, silent.

“I can’t,” Kelly said, her voice genuinely sorry. “I… uh, have a lot to do… and I didn’t get your messages in time…”

“And what?” Susie asked, her voice laced with humor. “You flew all the way out here from Julliard just to tell me ‘no’ in person? There’s no one – not even in Hollywood – with that kind of commitment.” Susie set her jaw, a thing that Kelly knew she did when she made up her mind about something. “No. You’re already here… so here you’re going to stay. If you want, I’ll call Julliard and have them–”

“No!” Kelly blurted again, feeling her stomach do a flip.

She saw Susie form a victorious grin on her face.

“No,” she repeated more calmly, her mind racing, “I’ll stay for the wedding… but please don’t ask me to play.”

“No promises,” Francis said, though he looked almost as mischievous as Susie did. But Kelly was saved from any further questions by the chirping of his phone. He pulled the device from his pocket and checked it. “Damn… there’s a problem with the hall for the rehearsal dinner.”

“Shit,” Susie grumbled. “I bet I know what it is. We’d better get there.”

Francis nodded and looked to Kelly. “It was wonderful to meet you… and I’ll get you to play for us yet.” And without another word, he turned back to the car.

Susie stepped forward. “I wish we had more time to catch up, but we’re on a tight schedule here, sweetie.”

“I know, I saw your itinerary.”

Susie chuckled. “Well, here it is then,” she said, reaching into one of the pockets of her business jacket and pulling out a cardboard invitation. It was a handsome thing, engraved and trimmed in what Kelly thought for sure was gold. “Be there at that address for the rehearsal dinner. I’ll do my best to scrounge up some free time between now and then… we can catch up like old times.”

Kelly took the invitation and it felt heavy in her hands. “Susie… I don’t know if I can make it.”

“Julliard is on the other side of the country, sweetie. What can possibly keep you busy enough to not come and get some free food?”

Kelly couldn’t answer. The thought of telling her oldest friend the truth of how her life had turned out surfaced in her mind, but the idea of how Susie would react stuck out in her mind as if she had been brained by an arrow. She didn’t want anyone to know how her life had really turned out, yet it felt like divulging that information was the only thing that could save her from such a monumental embarrassment.

“I thought so,” Susie said with a nod. “Dinner’s at seven o’clock sharp. Be there, or I’ll call Julliard and be damn sure to chew out the dean if I have to!”

Kelly didn’t doubt for a second that Susie would follow through on that threat. She had the power, means, and money to do so. She wondered if maybe it would be better if she did and discovered the truth for herself. At least then she wouldn’t have to maintain this ridiculous façade. She would be embarrassed, but at least she wouldn’t have to go on with all the lies.

“But Susie…” Kelly tried one final time.

“I don’t want to hear any more about it, sweetie,” Susie said, a note of finality in her words. “Everyone is going to be there, including a few old friends from school and one or two acquaintances from work. And I’m anxious for you to meet them.”

The word “everyone” struck Kelly like a sledge hammer. “Everyone?”

“Everyone,” Susie said. “Seven o’clock at that address. Don’t be late. I’ll see you then if not sooner, sweetie.” And saying nothing more, but giving a final goodbye hug Susie turned and jumped right back into her supped up SUV and drove away.

Kelly stood there, under the hot sun, holding a wedding invitation that would have taken her a week to afford in her hand. It felt like she was holding her own death warrant.

“Fuck.”

Chad felt a little overwhelmed when he pulled into the driveway. He’d paid for the house that his parents lived in; a symbol of his appreciation. They had paid for his entire football career leading up to his draft by the NFL, it had seemed the least that he could do. And though he’d approved the designs, he’d never actually seen the house. To see the finished product was interesting.

Cinch Manor, he had heard it was called. He’d made sure that it was the largest and fanciest house to be found anywhere in the whole of Holy Oaks. It wasn’t that hard a thing to accomplish. Holy Oaks didn’t exactly have a neighborhood for the rich and powerful, although there were some that were more well-to-do than others. But the Manor surpassed them all by a hundred-yard-pass.

The house itself sat nestled in a portion of a hollowed-out hill with a massive yard stretching out before it. The yard itself was more like unto a park than anything else, with tree groves, fountains, stone benches, and other little odds and ends to give it a “rich-man’s” look, as his father called it. The grounds stretched on for fifty yards.

The manor stood three stories tall, maybe fifty yards wide. It was painted a terracotta color with white windows. Its roof was a gray ceramic tile built in the Spanish fashion. It wasn’t really his kind of house, but he’d given his parents final approval over how it would look being as how they would be the ones to live in the place. And though it was large enough to house a family of twenty, only his parents resided in it.

Money had its privileges.

The driveway was filled with everything that he’d expected. There were catering vans, trucks loaded up with dining tables and folding chairs, box trucks that were stuffed to the gills with lights, artificial flowers, and an assortment of other odds and ends all meant to make his sister’s big day memorable.

“Shit,” he muttered, surprised by the volume of items to be found. Even preparing for a road trip with the team didn’t require this much gear. It was clear that his parents had spared no expense in the development of this wedding. Or maybe it was Susie… she was the Hollywood bigshot. If anyone knew how to set a scene for a movie-worthy wedding, it would have been her.

He parked his truck and stepped out, the familiar rush of the Holy Oaks summer washed over him, instantly spurring sweat underneath his clothes. Everywhere he looked he saw workers moving about like army ants and getting the manor ready for the impending guests. Already there were wreaths and ropes of fake flowers hung across the bannisters of the outside balconies, around the doorways and windows, and wrapped around every lamp post that illuminated the grounds. Some of the trees had been draped with flowing sheaths of white fabric. Little fake gnomes had been arranged on the grass to appear as though they too were wedding guests. It really was something that he hadn’t been prepared for.

“Chad!” shrieked a voice across the yard.

He turned in the direction the voice had come from and he smirked. Susie came running out from the front door. He almost laughed at his little sister as she crossed the grassy yard to where he’d parked. She had dressed down to a simple pair of old jeans and a white shirt. She almost looked exactly like she had the last time he’d seen her.

He smirked as she rushed up to him and threw her arms around his neck, squealing with delight. Though she was smaller than him, when she got excited she could charge hard enough to give an offensive lineman a run for his money.

“Jesus!” he choked as hugged him tightly. “Easy… I’m still sore from the last game.”

“Shut your face,” she murmured. “I saw you play, you didn’t get hit that hard.”

He chuckled and hugged her back. “It’s good to see you, little sissy.”

She broke their embrace and playfully smacked him in the shoulder. “Don’t call me that… stretch.”

“Ouch,” he said, mockingly grabbing at his chest, “you wound me.”

She smiled broadly at him and bounced on her feet excitedly. “I’m so glad that you could come! I was afraid that your coach–”

He waved it off. “He thought I was just yanking his chain… but when he talked to mom – and he’s met her – he knew I was being serious. So I can stay up to the day after the ceremony, but then I’ve got to be getting back.”

Susie smile became smug and a silent joke passed between them. They had often laughed at how there had never been anyone who could refuse their mother anything. It came as no surprise to either of them that an NFL coach would be swayed by their mother’s words.

“How’re things going?” he asked, closing his car door. “Need any help?”

Susie half-shrugged, “Not really, mom’s in full queen-bee mode. She’s obviously been thinking about this for a long time… longer than me, even. And Francis is helping out where he can.”

“Francis?” he asked, trying to keep a straight face. He’d heard the name before, he and Susie did talk on the phone if they couldn’t see each other. He knew all about the man and his profession. But he couldn’t help teasing his sister a little about the namesake of her future husband.

She smacked him across the shoulder again. “God, you sound just like Kelly.”

The name struck a nerve in him harder than a blindside rush. “Kelly?” He tried to sound casual. “Wait, you mean your friend from school, the one that used to tutor me?”

Susie nodded. “Yeah… I saw her yesterday when we drove into town. I only had enough time to make sure she would show up for the rehearsal dinner.”

“That reminds me,” He said, “I didn’t get a chance to read your itinerary for this whole thing. Who makes an itinerary for their wedding anyway?”

She chuckled. “I do. And it’s okay. I can fill you in. It’s real easy; first step is the rehearsal dinner. You’ll be sitting on the bride’s side of the table, obviously. Your place will be next to mom and the rest of the bridal party.”

He licked his lips and again tried to sound casual. “Already got your bridal party lined up, huh? Anyone I know?”

She nodded. “Yes. Trista, Lannie, Margo, and Kelly of course… but she doesn’t know that. I want it to be a surprise.”

He gave a nod of approval as they passed into the slightly cooler atmosphere of the house. He knew the names, but didn’t recall any of the faces. Susie’s life had been pretty much her own. The only real connect that they shared had been her friend, Kelly, who’d recommended her as his tutor. “What have they been up to?”

Susie rolled her eyes, “Oh, god, what haven’t they been up to? Marriage, careers, kids, divorces, alimony… you name it.”

He arched a curious eyebrow. “All of them?”

“Yeah… er, well… maybe not all of them.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” Susie said, her voice becoming deeper, more somber. “This is going to sound bad, but I have no idea what Kelly’s been doing since we graduated. We haven’t really talked and I’ve been too busy to catch up with her while I’m in Cali, and I move around too much to keep a permanent phone number. But, I mean, I don’t really know what she’s been up to. I know she went to Julliard and she seems to be doing okay… at least I think she is.”

His interest was growing. “You think?”

Susie stopped them and they stood in the middle of the foyer at the center of the grand staircase just beyond the front door. All around them the workers that were moving quickly to arrange everything for the wedding moved as if they weren’t even there. “Yeah… it’s weird. Yesterday when I saw her she seemed so… secretive. She didn’t talk much about herself, although to be fair we didn’t exactly get a chance to sit and chat. I tried to get her to open up about what she’s been doing… but she didn’t say anything.” She folded her arms suspiciously. “It’s strange… you remember her, don’t you? You remember how she used to be a little chatty?”

Yeah, I remember her alright, Chad thought to himself. Aloud he said, “Yeah… I do, kind of. I remember that she was kind of brainy and that she helped me study.”

“Right,” Susie confirmed. “I’ve never seen her so quiet. When we got started talking she seemed to relax a little, but she didn’t say much. I kind of had a wedding emergency so we didn’t get to talk long… but yeah, I feel like something is wrong.”

Chad took that in and felt his own confusion swirling within him. That was odd behavior. The girl that remembered had been different, less secretive, and full of life and wonder. He’d always found that interesting about her. She had been the only one he’d ever known to actually interest him that way. If something was wrong, that worried him. “Well, take some time off from your wedding. Bring her over. Talk to her.” He hoped it sounded sympathetic and objective.

Susie grumbled, “Ugh, I would… but even though mom’s in full OCD mode she doesn’t know how to orchestrate a crew this size.” She shook her head. “I feel bad saying it, but Kelly’s problems will have to wait until I get everything straightened out here.”

He nodded. Plan B. “It’s okay. Do you need help? What do you need me to do? Is there anything I can help with?”

“The only thing I need you to do is get your tux fitted. You remember old man Chalmers?”

He knew the name. Chalmers Tuxedos was the only place in town where anyone could still rent formal attire. He doubted that that had changed since he’d been gone. “Yeah, down at the old square, what about him?”

“He’s got your tux, but his glasses are thick enough to be on the Hubble and I don’t trust his eyes without a fitting. Will you go and double check your tux for me? Oh! And check dad’s too! Dad got fitted yesterday but some adjustments needed to be made. Will you see if they’re done?”

“Sure,” he said, nearly starting off for the door. “Anything else?”

Susie shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m sure I’ll find something else wrong by the time you get back.”

He lightly scoffed. “Think positive… positive thinking wins the game.”

She smirked at him. “Whatever you say, coach.”

He turned and went to the door. By the time he was halfway back to his truck a single thought kept repeating over and over in his head. Kelly’s here. The thought was both exciting and a little dreadful. He hadn’t seen her since just before she and Susie graduated. How had she changed? Had she changed for the better? For the worse? Was she one of the girls who was divorced and paying alimony? He hoped not. He didn’t know much about Julliard but he knew that it was a hard school to get into… harder even than being drafted to play pro ball.

That was something.

But if there was one thing that Susie was good at, it was a being a judge of character. Her job, her career, depended on her knowing how to read people. And if she thought that something was wrong with her best friend, then something had to be wrong.

I need to find her, he thought as he climbed back into his truck. He wasn’t sure why or that it really was any of his business, but he knew that he needed to find her. His tux could wait. The more he thought about it the more he was convinced that something had to be wrong. It seemed strange; to be thinking this for someone that he hadn’t seen in years but there was tightness in his belly that unsettled him. He didn’t like that feeling and he knew that it would only go away once he had some answers.

He needed to find Kelly.

And he knew exactly where to start.

“Order’s up!” cried the cook from inside the kitchen, placing two fresh plates on the delivery window behind the order counter. “Table two!”

“Mine,” Kelly said, quickly stepping up and gathering the plates. She plucked one out and then the other and quickly danced her way from behind the counter and carried the plates across the room to the waiting customers that had ordered them. She slipped the plates in front of the men that sat waiting for their food, one of them a brushy-faced quarryman and the other a skinny man in a suit.

“There are you are, gents,” she said, taking her hands back. “Can I get you anything else?”

The brushy-faced one looked up at her, “How about your phone number?”

She writhed inside, but managed to keep her smile in place and her voice politely cheery. “Sorry, sir, only what’s on the menu.”

“I’ll wager that you’re on the desert menu, you’re so sweet,” he said with a wink. His skinnier friend looked embarrassed and put a hand to his forehead as if he had a sudden migraine and wished that he couldn’t be seen. She was able to sympathize with the skinner man and was pleased that at least one of her customers today had a sense of decency.

She did her best to maintain her smile, though she almost laughed at the cheesy pick-up line. This guy wasn’t like Touchy Turk, but sometimes the ones who talked instead of touching could be just as bad. Sensing an opportunity to get away from him she said, “Well thank you for saying so, sir. Enjoy your meals.” Quickly she walked away.

She felt like she was molting her skin as she did and quickly went behind the counter, washing her hands in the employee sink. Safe for a few moments she felt like she was washing away the grime that seemed to have leeched itself on her. The water burned her skin and it felt wonderful; like it was killing the germs she’d picked up just by being so close to that asshole.

“Excuse me, miss?” said a man’s voice behind her.

She knew that the voice was addressing her, though she wasn’t looking. “Yes, sir?” she asked over her shoulder, soaping her hands.

“I was wondering if you could help me?”

“Yes, sir,” she said, “our special today is our famous backed potato, filled with your choice of butter, sour cream, or bacon.”

“That actually sounds good,” the voice said. “But that’s not really the problem. The problem is, I do need lunch… but I don’t have anyone to share it with me. I was hoping that you could.”

She froze for a moment. The voice didn’t sound like one she easily recognized, not rough and sandy like the quarrymen that she was used to dealing with around here, but there was something familiar about it. She dried her hands and when she turned to see the face that owned that voice, she almost gasped.

Chad Cinch stood before her on the other side of the counter.

He looked very much like the last time she had seen him, though there were the few noticeable differences. He was taller, his shoulders had become broader, and the t-shirt he wore hugged to the contours of his body as if the very fabric itself wanted to attach to him. Through the thin fabric she could see all of the tattoos that he wore, trophies of his many past glories. He’d only had one tattoo the last time that she had seen him.

That brought forth an old pain that she hadn’t felt in years.

His hair was neatly combed, he had the scruff of a beard growing across his square jaw, and when he pulled his sunglasses off two of the deepest blue eyes that she had ever seen in her life stared back at her. His skin was lightly tanned from a lot of time under the sun and when he leaned on the counter the wood groaned from so much muscle.

“Chad,” she said, her voice nearly a whisper.

He smirked. “Hi, Kelly,” he said simply, his voice unusually gentle. He took in her appearance and suddenly she felt like she could dive into the tile beneath her feet to vanish if she wanted. “You work here?”

Her hands began to tremble, her knees threatened to collapse out from under her. She self-consciously spread her fingers out over her pink waitressing uniform as if she could somehow hide it that way. The effort lasted only a moment before she realized that she was caught.

“Uh, I…” she began.

He arched an eyebrow. “Someone hasn’t been very truthful with my sister.” It wasn’t a warning or meant to be a threat. It was simply a statement of fact.

She felt her throat going dry.

“Come have a seat with me,” he offered, his voice gentle and more than a little inviting.

She felt her heart stir and her breath became short, like she had just run a hundred meter dash in less than a second. Old feelings that she had thought to be drowned long ago resurfaced.

“I can’t,” she said quickly. “I’m working…” the phrase all but confirmed his statement. She felt as though she had just tied herself down for the crows.

“Yes, she is,” said a voice from beside her. Kelly suddenly felt herself turn a new shade of red when Mark, the diner’s manager, came walking up to stand beside her. He wore a sweater-vest despite the heat of the region with a hideous pair of slacks and his glasses gleamed in the nearly noon light. “And she doesn’t have any time for…” he paused, squinting his eyes through his massive lenses and taking in the figure of the man standing on the opposite side of the counter. “Chad? Chad Cinch?” he almost whispered the name, as if speaking it would be enough to frighten him away.

Kelly was surprised to see Chad looking a little self-conscious that his name was spoken with such reverence. “Yeah… that’s me,” he said, his voice cheery but not overly enthusiastic.

“Oh my god,” Mark said, cupping his hands over his mouth like an excited schoolgirl. “I saw you play… Dallas Stadium… last year! I spilled beer all over my wife!” For a second, Kelly thought Mark really would start dancing and clapping his hands rapidly like a schoolgirl. “Oh my god, Chad Cinch is in my diner!” He dropped his hands and suddenly became more businesslike. “Whatever you’d like, sir, it’s on the house.”

Chad nodded his head thankfully. “Thanks… uh, are you the manager?”

Mark stood up self-importantly. “Yes, sir, I am.”

“Good,” Chad said, his voice lifting an octave. “Kelly here is an old friend. I was hoping I could share lunch with her… but if she’s busy…”

For an instant, Kelly hoped that Marcus would have enough steel in his spine not to bend to his fanboy whims. The hope died almost as quickly as it formed.

“No, no, not at all!” He looked at her and with a smile that he didn’t usually wear and a tenderness he had never spoken with he added, “Kelly, why don’t you go ahead and take your lunch break. You’ve earned it.” To Chad he said, “Feel free to take any seats you like. I’ll see to your order personally.”

“Sounds good. I hear that your special is baked potatoes?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then we’ll have two, please.”

“Right away, sir.”

“I’m obliged, thank you,” Chad said.

Kelly felt as though she’d been rooted to the spot.

“Well, go on,” Mark said, a tad of his old urgent tone entering into his voice.

Kelly felt like a trout plucked from a stream and looking at Chad, he made a simple gentleman’s gesture, allowing her to pass first before him.

Silently grumbling and partially ashamed, she rounded the counter and walked off. Every step she took brought back old thoughts and emotions that she had spent the last four years trying to get over. They began to mount inside of her like bricks in a wall, and she meant to use that wall to shield herself against an onslaught that she knew was coming.

She picked a booth at the far end of the diner that was furthest away from any of the other customers, hoping that she would at least be able to secure her privacy for as long as she could. She knew the diner’s timetable and the lunch rush would be starting soon enough. She had to make this quick.

Chad slid into the seat opposite her and folded his hands in his lap. She almost admired the way his muscles bulged underneath his shirt. There was something eye-catching about them… something appealing. Hell, he was appealing. She couldn’t deny it… but neither could a whole slew of women from across the country if the rumors she’d heard had been true.

“It’s good to see you again,” he said, his voice honest.

She felt a small rush of pride, but it was crushed by present fears. “How’d you find me?”

He looked almost affronted. “Nice to see you too, Chad, how’ve you been?” he asked, his voice not mocking her, but more like he was pointing out that she wasn’t exactly being polite.

She silently resented him for that.

“Started at school,” he said, leaning back and resting against the seat. “I checked with the head of alumni relations… it’s amazing what being a pro-athlete can accomplish in your hometown.”

She sat silently, waiting for him to make his point.

“Susie said you’d gone to Julliard. I was surprised to find out that Hazel… Hazel Quint, you remember her, don’t you? She’s the head of the Alumni relations now.”

Kelly remembered the girl. She was a lump of a girl with too many freckles and an uncanny ability to stick her nose into other people’s business. It was no surprise that she managed to land a job that continued with that trend.

“To answer your question, Hazel told me an interesting story… that you never made it to Julliard. In fact, she had seen you here in town a few times, off and on. And each time she saw you, you were dressed ‘in one of those hideous pink waitress dresses from that old 50’s diner’ I think she said.”

Kelly set her lip and looked intently at him. “She’s wrong. I did make it to Julliard… it just didn’t work out. And I missed home, so I came back.” Shame stabbed at her. She wasn’t given over to lying very much but in the last forty-eight hours she had told more than she had in the last four years. Of course Hazel had been right, she hadn’t gone to Julliard, but only a couple of people – her own parents – knew the reason why.

“Really?” he asked. “Susie seems to think that you’ve been out there in New York all this time. She said that music school seems to have agreed with you.” He paused, his thumb tracing invisible lines on the cushioning of the seat. “Why didn’t you tell her that you were here in town still?”

Kelly could only remain silent. Feelings that she wanted to keep buried were pushing their way up within her like a pot about to boil over. But she pushed those thoughts and emotions down, doing her best to keep a lid on it all.

“None of your business,” she said.

He gave a short nod. “You’re right, it’s not. But in a way it is Susie’s I think… she could tell that something wasn’t right when you saw her yesterday. She’s worried about you.”

The knife of shame that she felt twisted in her heart. Susie really was a worthy friend and that she had lied to her didn’t feel well at all. Susie always had been able to discern when she, Kelly, wasn’t in a good mood and needed cheering up.

She pushed those thoughts aside as well.

“She has her own concerns at the moment,” she said softly.

Chad was quiet for a short time. “I was happy to hear that Susie wanted you to be a part of the wedding.” He formed a slightly curved smile. “I was looking forward to seeing you again.”

He spoke in a manner that was so smooth and cool that butter wouldn’t have melted in his mouth. Despite her feelings she felt a positive energy stir within her. He was charming. There was no denying that. He’d been that way when she’d first met him. At least that hasn’t changed.

“Were you?” she asked, still feeling defensive.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice still level. “I knew that I’d be seeing some old and familiar faces here. Shit, I’ve been in town for less than twelve hours and already I’ve seen people that I haven’t seen since school. But, I wasn’t looking forward – or even wanting – to see any of them.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “I’ve been wondering about you.”

She felt her heart flutter a little and she looked away to hide her blushing cheeks. “I’ve been wondering about you, too,” she said, feeling an old surge of regret pushing its way to the summit of her emotions. “I see your name in the papers. ‘Bad Chad’ they call you. Drunk and disorderly, attempted theft, brawling…”

He lowered his head almost shamefully. “Well… the news guys greatly exaggerated some of those incidents…”

“Oh?” she asked, feeling her defensive power rising. “And all these women I heard about?”

He froze.

“Yeah, I’ve heard about that. You’ve got quite a loyal following,” she said, folding her arms across her chest. “One of them even has her own blog.”

He tried to shake it off and look smooth about it. “You can’t trust everything you read on the net, Kelly. If you did–”

“She described your tattoo in perfect detail,” Kelly said pointedly, almost spitting the words out. “The one that you had when you graduated that no one can see easily.” She leaned forward on the table, like a judge passing a sentence on a convict. “She said, ‘He told me I was sweet… that he’d never met anyone like me… that my skin was so soft it was like cream.’ Does that sound familiar to you? It sure as hell sounds familiar to me.”

He froze again, a look of shame washed over his features. That surprised her. The Chad that she had known years before would have been proud of that accomplishment. He’d spoken those same sweet words to her long ago. That someone else, a stranger, could quote them… she had felt crushed. She had known his reputation around school and she had only agreed to tutor him because Susie had vouched for him. Later she had come to realize that his reputation was well founded, though no one could prove it. At least, not then they couldn’t. But once she’d seen that blog and read those descriptive words, she had found the truth.

“That was a long time ago,” he said, his voice regretful.

“The Bronze Age was a long time ago,” she retorted. “That blog was posted only four years ago, Chad. That’s recent history.”

He said nothing.

“Why did you come here?” she asked, going on the offensive.

He folded his hands on the table, interlacing his fingers like he was about pray. “I came for the wedding.”

“Not here to Holy Oaks… I mean here, to the diner? Why did you go looking for me?”

“I wanted to see you,” he said.

She waited, wanting to see if he would say any more. But no other words left his lips. “That’s it?”

“Plain and simple.”

She felt a small anger surging within her. She could almost see the Chad Cinch in front of her that was written of in the papers and spoken of on the news. He was looking for another woman to drag into his bed that might increase his popularity or whatever after another sexual escapade. Somewhere in the past she had realized that that was all she had been: an episode in his life. She had no desire to be a re-run. Chad was anything but plain and simple. She had known that from the beginning. “Well, you’ve seen me… and I’m humiliated. I suppose you’re going to go back to Susie and tell her what you’ve learned?”

His face fell, like he was actually hurt that she assumed he would do such a thing. She felt a small pang of regret at it, but she recalled who he was now and why he often did the things he did. The regret faded instantly.

“No,” he said, shaking his head gently. “No, I won’t tell her anything.”

She paused at that. “Why?”

His eyes didn’t leave hers. “Because it’s not my place to tell her the truth, if anyone should it should be you.” He looked around at the diner. “Whatever the reason is that Julliard didn’t work out for you… that you missed home… that’s your business. If it comes from me then it’s just gossip and I’d be no better than those fuckers who print the news about me. They don’t know me and they don’t know what I’ve done or why I did it to begin with. But you know what you’ve done and you know better than anyone else why you did it. And if it comes from you, then that’s the truth.”

It sounded so enlightened that it was uncharacteristic of him. That didn’t strike her as the popular football player she had known back then, or of the playboy that he had since become. She’d really only gotten to know him for a month at the time when they had been in school together. But during their time together in that month…

Unbidden into her mind came an old memory. She and Chad… the dimness of an empty room around them… feeling his muscles underneath her bare hands… seeing that tattoo… a tattoo that so many other girls had seen.

That snapped her out of it.

“Well, it’s big of you to admit that.” She looked at the clock on the wall. “Well, look at that. My lunch break is over. Time to get back to work.”

He looked at the same clock with confusion. “What do you mean it’s over? We’ve been sitting here for ten minutes.”

“Have we?” she asked. “Time does fly when you’re having fun.” She began to push her way off of the seat.

“Kelly…” he said, reaching out and taking her hand, stopping her from leaving. She could feel the strength in his hands. Strength that she remembered, strength that she had craved, had felt safe with… but strength that had cradled the bodies of so many other women. “Please, don’t go.”

“Sorry, I have to get back to work,” she said plainly and freeing herself from his grip she stood up. “I’ll make sure that you get that baked potato.” And without looking back she walked away. She was pleased that she did so, because the instant she turned her back on him, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Chad stood leaning against the front fender of his truck when she came out. It was nearly five in the afternoon when he saw Kelly emerge from out of the diner. She looked a little more ragged than she had when first he’d seen her. Obviously waitressing was tougher work than he had imagined. But he’d seen some of the characters that had been in the diner and he could well imagine that such work would take its toll. Her hair hung about her head in thin strings, looking partially unkempt. Her dress was stained in the remnants of someone else’s baked potato and she had the look of someone who’d had their fill for today.

He’d seen that look countless times before.

But when he saw it on her, he actually felt pity for her. Pity and something else that he couldn’t readily identify and it was that uncertainty that kept him anchored here, like a ship trying to stand against a great storm.

When Kelly stepped out from the diner she saw him instantly and froze.

All he could do was stand there, watching her.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. He just stood silent and ponderous while she stood with the deer-in-the-headlights expression on her face. She looked angry, he could accept that. But what he couldn’t accept was how she so easily brushed him off like he’d been nothing more than an unwelcome nuisance. He had done things that he wasn’t proud of… in fact he’d been light hearted about some of them. But for whatever reason, it was different with her.

He couldn’t get around that.

“How long have you been standing there?” she asked, folding her arms sternly.

He checked his watch. “Roughly, since I had to eat two baked potatoes by myself. I wasn’t sure what time you got off work.”

She stood staring at him. “You’re lucky. Today I got the morning shift. Last night I didn’t get home until after dark. You should have gone home, Chad. What will Susie think?”

He shrugged innocently. “I texted her. She thinks that the measurements for my tux were all wrong and that old man Chalmers had to start over. I said it could be hours before I made it home. It looks like I was telling the truth in that.”

Kelly’s stern look didn’t diminish.

He looked around at the parking lot. Most of the vehicles parked here were service trucks, most of them labeled with the rock-hammering logo of the local mining industry. There were a few others, mostly minivans or compacts. None of them struck him as the kind of car that a musical prodigy would drive.

“Which car is yours?”

She looked angry for a moment, “I’m a waitress working for minimum wage, Chad.” Her look changed, becoming embarrassed. “I can’t afford a car. I take the bus to work.”

“Oh?” He sensed an opportunity. “Then will it be okay if we go somewhere and talk? Just talk, I swear.” The words sounded feeble, even to him. He’d used that same arrangement of words before hoping that it would lead to sex.

She seemed to be thinking the exact same thing as her angry look returned. “I can’t. I have to get home. I have… things to do there.”

“Really?” he asked. He gestured to his truck. “Hop in, I’ll give you a ride.”

“No thanks,” she said, starting to walk towards him, though he knew she was aiming for the bus stop on the far side of the parking lot behind him. She walked by him, not looking back for the second time today. “I’m used to it.”

“Kelly,” he said, his voice filling with defeat. Something inside of him told him that it was time to go for broke and pray for a Hail Mary Pass. “Look… I know you don’t enjoy being this close to me. I understand that. But I’m trying to make amends here. Will you at least allow me to be polite and take you home?”

She paused midstride.

Feeling like a fisherman with a small nibble on the line, he kept at it. “If I do anything that you don’t like, you can scream ‘I’ve been kidnapped’ out the window and I’ll confess to the first cop that shows up. I swear.”

She remained still but he could see the scales of her mind balancing in her head. He’d given up long ago trying to figure out women that didn’t throw themselves at him. But there was something about Kelly that simply demanded attention.

“Does that include talking to me?” she asked.

He felt a twitch of irritation in his mind. “No… I want to talk to you.” This didn’t’ seem the right thing to say, so he settled for a compromise. “You don’t have to talk back if you don’t want to, but I do want to say a few things. I can’t promise I’ll be quiet. But I won’t do anything else to upset you, I swear.”

She remained where she was for a moment, looking off at the waiting bus stop that was empty of anyone else. The sun was still high in the sky and the heat was already unbearable. He didn’t like the idea of her taking the bus. And the chance to speak with her, privately, seemed too good to pass up.

She finally turned to him. “You’d like that though, wouldn’t you? It would feed this bad boy image that you’ve been building up for years now, wouldn’t it? To have a woman scream that you kidnapped her probably wouldn’t be good for you though. You’d be looking at federal jail time for that.”

Her words had all the sensitivity of a mac truck running him over and they stung like poison. They were even laced with appeal, like she might do just as he suggested so that he would go to prison. Okay… that backfired, he thought with self-loathing. “No…” he tried quickly, “that’s not what I meant…” He fumbled his words. “Oh, Jesus in a taxicab… Kelly… I just want to talk to you. I have to say a few things that have been on my mind since Susie told me you were here. After that if you never want to see me again – after the wedding, obviously – then I’ll respect that. But please, just give me the length of time it takes to get you home. Give me that, at least.”

She fixed him with a stern look, the scales of her mind still looked off balanced, but she seemed to be coming to a decision. After only a few more seconds, she finally spoke. “Alright… but I’m not coming because I’m interested in what you have to say. And I sure as hell don’t want Susie to blame me for her cherished brother to go to jail. I’m just going because it means I’ll get home faster.”

He felt a tremendous moment of victory but tried not to let it show. He stepped to the passenger door of his truck and opened it.

She looked irritated that he’d done so but walked over and though he offered her a hand up, she ignored it and climbed in all on her own. She even yanked the door out from his grip and closed it before he could do the gentlemanly thing and close it for her.

He climbed in and started the engine. “Where do you live?”

She looked away from him out the passenger window as she responded, “The Hathaway Apartment building.”

Without commenting on this he put the truck into gear and drove out from the diner’s parking lot. He knew where the building was, an old high school conquest had once lived there. And it would be a short trip, he knew.

As if she were reading his thoughts she said, “Whatever you have to say, you’d better say it. We’ll be there in ten minutes.”

He took a breath. He’d had hours to rehearse what he wanted to say in his head, but now that the moment of truth was upon him he was at a loss as to how he should begin. “I feel bad about this, I really do.”

He expected that to evoke some kind of a reaction from her, but it didn’t. She simply kept gazing out of the passenger window and didn’t look at him. She had always been one to stick to her guns. He’d admired that about her. It was one of the things that he remembered most about her.

“Look, I know that it should send off a stalker alert the way I tracked you down today, but I had to talk to you… I had to see you. We have a history and I know that it’s complicated. And I know I didn’t make it any better after I left but neither did you. You were the one who wanted to stop seeing me, remember? I can still remember the text message you sent me. We have to stop. Don’t come back. Do you remember that?”

He expected that to have a reaction, but again she remained silent.

“When I went away to college I used to talk to Susie, asking her how you were. But she said that she was too busy with school and she didn’t keep in touch with anyone from home but she imagined that you were out becoming a master musician. I tried texting you… calling you… but you never answered. After a while, I admit, I just gave up trying to reach out to you. But I wasn’t trying to get in touch with you because…” he slammed the wheel of his truck in frustration. “I wasn’t trying to get in touch with you because I was horny or anything… I really wanted to talk to you.”

She said nothing.

“I wondered about you for weeks. What was Julliard like? What were you studying? Would there be a time I could fly out there and surprise you? Fuck, Kelly, I wanted to see you again.”

She looked away from him pointedly, deliberately keeping him well out of her vision. This wasn’t the girl he’d known before. She had been warmer… more inviting… soothing even. But now she was cold and detached. It was like she had built a wall of ice around her.

“It took me a while to accept that you didn’t want to see me again, Kelly. To this day – and I’m not trying to sound self-important here – you’re the only girl that has done that. And I can’t deny that I’ve been with other women… you’ve seen the blog, so you know that’s true. But those others would sell their grandparents into slavery for the chance to be as close to me as you are now. I don’t expect that to mean anything to you, but between you and them I’d rather have you.”

She put an arm up and rested her head on her fist as if she was bored and on the verge of falling asleep, but again she was silent.

“Christ,” he murmured. Why am I even bothering? She obviously doesn’t care. But he knew he had to speak his piece on this. He might never get another chance. “I always wondered if it was something that I did – or didn’t do – that made you want to stop seeing me. Maybe it was something that I said – or didn’t say – that got you so pissed off at me. I made mistakes in school, I admit that. And I do wish I could take it all back sometimes, but here we are. You have secrets that you want to keep from Susie, that’s fine. You don’t want her to know that you’ve been here all this time and that Julliard didn’t work out? I’ll take that to the grave, she’ll never hear it from me.

“If you want to start your own blog about what it is that I’ve said here, that’s fine too. I’ll swear to it in court if you want. But the full of it is… fuck, it hurt when you said you didn’t want to see me anymore. I remember that feeling and it feels like someone pumped molten metal into my chest. And all I ever really wanted to know was why you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

She maintained her silence and kept her eyes away from him.

He decided that he wasn’t going to get any reaction out of her. He decided that he wasn’t going to torture himself with this at all a second longer. “That’s all I wanted to say.”

The rest of the trip passed in silence.

When he pulled into the parking lot of the Hathaway building he drove right up to the front entrance. Kelly was quick to unbuckle herself and she almost jumped out of the door with paratrooper-like readiness. That she was so eager to get away from him suddenly hurt him all the more.

That’s the irony, isn’t it? Bad Chad… the definition of a gridiron man on the field; he’s so hard that he doesn’t care what legal troubles he causes for himself or for his team. He doesn’t care how the public perceives him, because they show up in droves to see him play. And he doesn’t care that he leaves broken-hearted women in his wake everywhere he goes. And yet this simple girl, that used to tutor him years ago, can make him blabber like a sitcom actor. Yeah… if a blog starts on this, you’ll never live it down.

He watched as Kelly began to close the door, but she halted.

He froze, watching her.

She lowered her head as if some massive thought had just struck the back of her mind and more of her golden tresses hung limply around her face. She turned to look at him and much to his surprise her eyes were wet with tears that had not yet formed.

“I didn’t go to Julliard,” she said, her voice tense. “I never even made it past the town limits after I graduated. I’ve been here for four years. Everyone else has moved on… and I’m still here.”

With that, she slammed the door shut before he could respond and rushed inside the building, vanishing through the glass lobby doors.

Kelly’s stomach did a belly flop the following day when she looked at her cell phone and found that Susie had sent her a new text message. The message was short and sweet, but it felt like she had been impaled with the lightning rod of a skyscraper.

We need to talk. Come to my parent’s house.

Cinch Manor. Kelly dreaded going there almost as much as she dreaded standing before the gates of judgement. She knew the residence of the Cinch family. Everyone in town had known about it. It had been big news when the house was built because a home-grown hero had made it big in the NFL. To Kelly, it was just a monument that looked down on her the same way a vulture looks upon a carcass. To be summoned there, now, she felt like she was being summoned before an executioner.

He told her, she thought with a heavy heart. He had to have told her everything. So much for taking my secret to your grave… thanks a lot, Chad.

It was a piercing thought. She wondered briefly how this day was going to end and how her friendship with Susie – such as it was – would end. Sure, they had lost touch and she felt like she wouldn’t even notice the loss. But there was something reminiscent in the back of her mind that would grieve for the loss of a close friend like Susie. Strange as it was, she had been thinking for the last two days that she rather enjoyed having her friendship with Susie renewed. But whatever it was that she was about to face, she was certain would tear it apart.

It was her day off from work and normally she would have been more than happy to spend her day watching Ellie and give Rachel the day off as well. But circumstances being what they were, Rachel had been more than ready to accept a day of unexpected babysitting duty. She paid Rachel an extra $20 for her trouble and her teenage babysitter had happily accepted the money. But on her way out, Rachel had stopped her, “Is everything okay?”

Kelly tried to keep a brave face on. “Yeah… I just have to go take care of some stuff. I’ll probably be back soon.”

Rachel hadn’t argued and Kelly gave Ellie a small kiss on the forehead before leaving. Her heart was heavy as she took the bus across town, dreading every single inch of the way. She counted herself lucky that she had someone as understanding as Rachel in her corner.

I could have just said ‘no’, she thought over and over again. But somehow, that didn’t seem like the right thing to do. She had spent the last four years of her life clinging to the edges of the lives that everyone she had once known; hiding like a rat in the wall. If she was going to be done with this whole thing, then she was at least going to face it head-on. People might talk bad about her for it, but at least they would know – at least to some degree – that she’d had the courage to stand up and take it.

I’m so fucked.

By the time the bus made its final stop she knew she had to walk part of the way to Cinch Manor. And disembarking from the bus she set on the walk, it was nearly four blocks until she got to where she needed to be. The sun was already hot and the warm air threatened to drain her of all the moisture in her body as she walked, her sweat already beginning to soak into her clothes. She had worn a simple pair of shorts and a light shirt but even the simple garments were no defense against the heat.

When she arrived at the manor she was already keenly aware of the tremendous amount of activity that was going on as she crossed into the massive front yard. She saw the preparations that had gone into getting the house ready for the wedding. She was both impressed and even a little sad that she wouldn’t be here to see the big day take place.

Two groups of seats had been arranged along the long grassy field of the front yard. There were ten seats in each row and twenty rows on each side that she counted. Obviously Susie was expecting a big crowd. Each chair was a brilliant white and made from elaborately carved wood. The chairs were decorated with white streamers and faux flowers. Running along the center of isle of the chairs, where she knew the bride would eventually walk, was a long white silken fabric that was protected by a plastic cover that would keep the material safe from rain and sunlight.

At the head of the assembled seats was an arch that had been crafted to look as though it were made from twisted vines and branches. That too was covered in the same fake flowers and white streamers, capped in a decorative figurehead of two wooden doves.

Elaborate as this all seemed, workers still moved about the grounds tending to more preparations. The air was thick with the scent of freshly mown grass, hedges and trees were being trimmed, strange garden gnomes that looked as if they too were wedding guests were being situated across the grounds, fountains were being cleaned, and dead leaves and grass were being raked and bagged by hard working laborers.

Ahead she saw the house.

It looked as though it was being decorated for some kind of a festival, which Kelly supposed it was in a way. The windows, the doors, the iron bannisters of the outside balconies had all been draped in matching fabrics like those hanging in the yard. The front doors were open and a stream of workers moved to and fro, taking things from out of waiting trucks and vans and moving along tirelessly as if the wedding were taking place today.

Kelly felt nervous as she came to the front door and stepped inside. She had never been to the house before and stepping into the massive foyer beyond she felt like she had stepped onto another planet. The floors beneath her feet were marble, there was a grand staircase on her left and right leading up to the next level and its rails were made of highly polished mahogany. Up above her on the landing there was a massive stain-glass window depicting some medieval scene of knights and ladies that she didn’t recognize.

Susie’s parents always liked the medieval look of things, she recalled. She remembered Susie’s old house, a veritable dump compared to this place. But she recalled that Susie’s mom and dad had a fondness for medievalism. Apparently their son’s money hadn’t changed that, though it seemed to have changed him.

“Kelly!” cried Susie’s voice.

She looked to her right and emerging from a wing door she saw Susie come rushing out. Susie, like herself, was dressed to accommodate the heat. She wore a pair of jean shorts and a white tank top, her skin was also beaded with sweat where her skin was exposed. And much to Kelly’s surprise, Susie didn’t look at all angry at her. She looked rather excited, actually.

“You came!” her old friend said, rushing to her much the same way she had when they had first seen each other the other day. She gave her a small but sweaty hug. “I’m so glad you could come.”

“I didn’t expect to be invited,” Kelly said, sensing that something was off.

“Why not?” Susie asked, pulling away lightly.

“Well…” she panicked, her mind at a loss for words. It took only a moment to gauge that Susie was genuinely curious. Susie was many things, but she wasn’t all that great at masking her emotions; a thing she would have thought a Hollywood personality greatly required. She cast about quickly for something to say, “I figured you’d be busy here, with all of this,” she said, swirling her finger around in the air to encompass the whole of the house.

Susie waved that off. “Oh, hell… I needed some time off. And my mom thought it would be best if I took a break. You know, ‘if a bride worries too much she’ll get wrinkles’… or whatever.”

Kelly nodded, a little relieved. “Okay… if she says so.”

“Fuck, it’s hot,” Susie said, pinching her shirt between her fingers and lightly tugging on the fabric to create a soft breeze to cool herself.

“Yeah, I noticed. You guys don’t have air conditioning here?”

“We do,” Susie replied, a little irritated, “but with the doors open so people can move in and out easier, there’s no point to have it on in here. But, it’s on upstairs in the west wing; let’s go, before we melt.”

Kelly followed Susie up the stairs and around several turns before she was led to a massive den. When she opened the doors that admitted them a rush of refreshingly cool air greeted them, kissing at the beads of sweat on the skin. She and Susie both let out a relieved sigh as Susie closed the doors, sealing them in.

“Much better,” Susie said. “Want something to drink?”

“Uh, sure,” Kelly said, hoping that a little alcohol would make this whole thing easier. Part of her could sense that she was still on the hook for something. And even if Susie wasn’t angry – why wouldn’t she be? – She would at least have found a way to discuss her anger in a Hollywood-kind-of-way. Although from her treatment thus far, she began to suspect that Susie wasn’t upset with her… for anything. Even so, the thought of alcohol was a welcome one.

“Brandy okay? I don’t have much else to offer.”

“That’s fine,” she said, looking around the den. The room was large enough to fit her entire apartment with room to spare. It was lined with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and a quartet of leather sofas rested in the center, framing a marble coffee table. On one side of the room there was a fireplace and on the other was a small liquor cart where Susie prepared two glasses. She filled both with ice and poured a generous amount of amber-colored liquor into each.

Susie brought them over and passed one to her. “Cheers,” she said and they clinked their glasses and sipped the brandy. It was actually quite good, Kelly noticed. Normally a glass of wine – cheap wine at that – was the best that Kelly could hope for, but this brandy went down nice and smooth.

Susie smirked, swallowing a mouthful of the delicious beverage. “You remember that time we stole that half-finished bottle of wine my mom had?”

Kelly recalled the incident and though she didn’t much care to, she became swept up in the memory of it. Memories of simpler and happier times often had that effect. “That bottle of red wine… she’d had it in the fridge for a month and neither of us knew that that red wine turned to vinegar after it had breathed for too long.” She chuckled. “We thought that was what wine was supposed to taste like and we drank the whole thing.”

Susie laughed aloud and planted herself on one of leather couches. “We got so damn sick… my mom was furious. What was it she said us after that?”

Kelly settled onto the sofa opposite Susie and in her best voice that imitated Susie’s mom she said, “Betcha won’t do that shit again, will ya?”

Susie chortled and fell back on the sofa with a wide grin on her face. “Oh my god… those were the days, weren’t they?”

Kelly nodded reminiscently. “Yeah… I miss those days.”

“Me, too.” There was silence between them for a moment and they enjoyed a few more sips of the brandy. “So… how’s Julliard treating you? You should be about done, aren’t you? It’s been four years.”

Kelly felt her stomach knot and bought a few more seconds of silence by sipping her drink. “More or less,” she said quickly.

“Has anything exciting happened while you’ve been there?” Susie prodded.

“Exciting?”

“Yeah… you know,” Susie asked, winking, an old sign to indicate that she was talking about sex but didn’t want to acknowledge it outright.

Kelly shook her head. “No… nothing like that.”

“Oh, come on!” Susie half-cried, exasperated. “There has to have been someone! Another rising star… a classmate… oh! A professor maybe?”

Kelly wanted to laugh, feeling like she was slipping back into her old teenage tendencies when all that had been on her mind was music and her occasional crush, but she held herself in check. “No, no, no.”

Susie shook her head this time. “All work and no play, huh?”

Kelly felt a small pit forming in her stomach. “Well… it wasn’t for a lack of wanting, I’ll tell you that.” That was true enough, but there were reasons for it.

Susie seemed to accept that easily enough. “There’ll be plenty of bachelors here soon enough. You can have your pick of the litter, but… I want details if you do.”

“Susie…”

“I’m serious,” Susie reiterated. “I’ll want every last detail, down to the dirtiest bits. I don’t care how revolting you might think it is.”

“Why is that so important to you?”

Susie grew a fiendish grin. “Sweetie, do you know what it’s like in Hollywood? Everyone is either screwing each other or screwing each other over. Either way, the details always come to light… news of a deal gone sour… a sex tape… this person or that gets fired… a pair of eavesdropping eyes… a wall that’s just hollow enough to hear through… some loose-lipped aide… a ten-dollar snitch… there’s no end to it. Some of them do it on purpose, thinking it’ll heighten their career or some shit. Some people don’t do it on purpose and generally they’re just careless.” She leaned forward and looked at Kelly intently. “You know what the rarest kind of scandal is in Hollywood?”

“No. What?”

“It’s people who actually fall in love… but gain nothing.” She leaned back on the couch. “I deal with the prior scandals all the time, it goes with the territory. But I’ll tell you what, honey, never before have I had to deal with the steamy details of someone I actually care about. That’s where I’m hoping you’ll come in and save me from my usual boredoms.”

Kelly scoffed amusedly, though deep inside she felt some sense of relief. “Is that why you called me here today? You want me to have a sex-capade and tell you all the steamy details?”

Susie smirked. “No… that’s not why I called you here.”

The humor and relief that she’d felt a moment before evaporated, but Kelly waited and listened to her friend.

Susie sipped her drink, as if she was bracing herself. “I want you to be my maid of honor.”

Kelly paused. She had been expecting a bomb to drop, but certainly not that one. She’d been prepared to endure a blockbuster bomb, but this felt more like a firecracker compared to what she had been expecting. “Me?”

“There’s no one else I’d rather have there. You are my best friend, you know.”

Kelly sat, a little dumbfounded. On some level she had thought that she had been lucky. She had imagined Susie becoming upset over being lied to for all this time, but it seemed that an ass-chewing for past deceits wasn’t really what was on her mind. Her intentions were far more pure… and innocent.

“Uh…”

“Oh, come on!” Susie pleaded. “Do you really expect Trista, Lannie, or Margo to be my maid of honor? They were ass kissers in school and not much has changed, I hear. I least I can count on you.” She folded her hands around her icy glass, “You’re like family.”

Kelly was about to respond – with gibberish more than likely – when the doors opened with a small clatter. She and Susie both looked up to the same doors that they had entered through and for the second time today, Kelly’s stomach did a backflip.

Chad stood in the doorway.

“I thought I heard you laughing,” he said, entering into the room and closing the doors behind him. “I thought I should come and check on you.”

“Oh, my hero,” Susie said mockingly. “I thought you and Francis were hanging out in the weight room?”

“We were,” Chad said, crossing the small distance from the doors to the couches where his sister and Kelly sat. Kelly watched him cross the whole way, his strides making her think of some ancient Greek hero bent on an impossible task. “But then dad came in… he wanted to spend some time with his future son-in-law. He told me to get lost.”

Susie’s face soured. “And you let him? You left them alone together?”

“Relax,” Chad said, coming to stand at the edge of the couch. “I made him promise not to do anything that would piss you off. ‘Honest man-to-man talk’ he said.”

Susie seemed to relax.

Kelly was a complete wreck.

She couldn’t take her eyes off of Chad. He was dressed in a black tank top that showed off nearly as much muscle as the white shirt he’d been wearing yesterday. It was lightly darkened in a wet “V” shape down the front of his torso from sweat and the veins in his arms bulged, showing the stress that they had been under. His hair was lightly messy and though she was torn between anger and fear of him, there was something undeniably appealing in seeing him a little sweaty.

When his eyes turned to her all she felt was the fear.

“Hi,” he said simply.

“Oh!” Susie said, perking up at once. “You remember Kelly, right?”

He turned his head sideways as if he were trying to pour a memory into the right side of his brain. His eyes narrowed and he pointed at her, his voice sounding deliberately but vaguely familiar. “Yes… the little blonde-haired girl that tutored me in history. I haven’t seen you since… when? Ah! That’s right, the night of Susie’s graduation party.”

Kelly was unsure if she was going to be sick or cheer with joy. The words had flowed so easily from Chad’s mouth that even she had found herself believing them. It had been the night of Susie’s graduation party that their history had become – as he had put it – complicated. But she didn’t want the silence to linger between them. In the span of a second she counted herself lucky that he was playing it off as though he hadn’t been to see her yet and she realized that she had to do the same.

“Yeah… I think so,” she said, her voice barely sounding on the edge of believability.

“She’s grown up nice, don’t you think?” Susie asked, elbowing her brother.

“Yes, very nice,” he said. That tone of honesty was again in his words and it seemed that only Kelly was able to detect it. It made her feel miserable inside.

“Chad came into town for the wedding,” Susie added simply. It was no secret that her brother was successful at what he did and Kelly knew that her best friend would have no need or desire to play up her brother’s career.

“Welcome home,” Kelly said, trying to sound sincere.

“And you, too,” he countered. “Susie tells me you were off in New York somewhere?” He settled onto the couch next to his sister.

She could see what he was doing and realized that it was all for Susie’s benefit. “Yeah… I’ve been at Julliard.”

“That’s that fancy music school, right?” he asked, furrowing his brow as if he were uncertain of this.

Susie elbowed him again. “You know it is. Don’t play stupid… you do that on the field almost every game.”

“Oh!” he half-cried and nudged his sister, who laughed at him. “Hundreds of professional comedians are begging for work and here you are making bad jokes… I should report you to someone.”

Susie shrugged. “Good luck with that.”

Chad looked back to her. “Sorry about my sister, Kelly. She’s become accustomed to living in Hollywood and thinking that everything is about her. I blame our parents for that… they got her started thinking that way.”

“Brat,” Susie berated him. “That’s big talk coming from the one that mom and dad put every penny into making sure you went to school for football. Now look at you. Who’s spoiled?”

He played thoughtful for a moment. “Mom and dad? Look at the house they live in now.”

Susie was pensive for a moment. Flatly she replied, “Good point. It’s bigger than my apartment.”

“The west wing is bigger than my house in L.A.”

“The one you barely live in?”

“Yeah… that one.” He looked back to Kelly. “So… what brings you here?”

Susie sat forward eagerly before Kelly could respond. “Oh! I was just asking Kelly to be my maid of honor.”

Chad’s eyes brightened. “Did you?” To Kelly he said, “Are you?”

Kelly felt like an ant put under a focused magnifying lens. She felt like she could burst into flame from so much focused attention. It was obvious that Chad had kept his promise and not told his sister anything that they had shared – yesterday or from years before – and she felt gratitude towards him for that. And here he was, playing the dumb jock and not for the sake of his sister, she knew… but for her.

A small twist of appreciation was wrenched from her heart for him for that.

She sighed, trying to make it look comical and resigned, “Yeah… ok.”

Susie squealed and tapped her feet on the floor excitedly. She planted her nearly-empty glass of brandy on the marble coffee table and rounded it to pull Kelly to her feet and hugged her tightly. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…”

“Ok, ease up, ease up,” Kelly said, feeling genuine honor and pride. “If you thank me too much I might decide to take it back.”

Susie made no reply to that except to say, “This is going to be a fucking treat!”

“I’m already terrified,” Chad said, standing up. “And not to nitpick, sissy, but isn’t it kind of late to be choosing a maid of honor?”

Susie rolled her eyes at her brother. “No, it’s not… half the shit we need to do still isn’t done. Putting the bridal party together will be a cinch.”

“Pun intended?” Chad asked.

“Ha ha, so funny,” Susie shot back.

“Oh!” Chad said, getting to his feet. “In the way of needing things, maybe you can help me, Kelly.”

She felt a shard of ice form in her belly. “Me?”

He nodded. “I don’t have a date for the rehearsal dinner… or the wedding come to think of it. Would you be willing to be on my arm for both?”

For the third time today, Kelly’s belly did a backflip, but this time it added an extra two somersaults to its routine and failed miserably to stick the landing. Chad’s face wasn’t filled with a smug or sneaky look of any kind. Something like this reminded her of a mischievous child that had just lulled an inattentive adult into some kind of a trick. It was genuine… honest… even hopeful. He reminded her of the boy she had known years before… when he hadn’t been like he was now. It was like seeing a fleshy shadow of the past. And she didn’t mind looking at it.

Something stirred within her that felt warm and familiar. Something that provided comfort in a part of her heart that had only been cold and abandoned for years now. It was something that she hadn’t expected to feel today… or ever again.

“Now that is a fucking good idea!” Susie boomed. “You’ve already admitted that you don’t have a significant other, in any capacity,” she added pointedly. “And I’m not going to let my own brother or my best friend sit at the single’s table at my wedding.” She clapped her hands like a sultana summoning slaves. “It’s a done deal!”

Kelly felt flabbergasted. “What? Wait…!”

“No, it’s done, sweetie,” Susie said definitively. “Chad is already going to be Francis’ best man – his real best friend is somewhere in Turkey – and I like the symmetry of the best man and the maid of honor being each other’s dates.”

“Susie…”

“It’s my wedding,” Susie said, her voice dropping an octave and becoming a tad threatening. “And I say it’s a done deal.”

Kelly only stood there with her jaw nearly touching the floor.

“Say ‘Yes, Susie.’”

Kelly looked at her best friend, feeling as though she had just been doused in sheep’s blood and thrown into a tank of hungry sharks. How could Susie do this to her? It’s simple… Susie doesn’t know what happened that night. A twist formed in heart. Neither does Chad… not really.

She looked at the man that stood next to her best friend. Part of her couldn’t get past the idea that he had planned this somehow. He knew that she, Kelly, wouldn’t refuse her best friend if she couldn’t help it. And it seemed to her mind that he had kept her secret and played the ignorant and distant brother for her sake more than for his sister’s. And that somewhere in the back of his mind he had resolved that she would owe him for that.

Damn it.

“Yes, Susie,” she said, her voice a little flat.

Susie smiled.

Chad smirked.

Kelly drank the last of her brandy.

Slick’s Tavern wasn’t high on the list places that Chad cared to visit while he was here, but after a day like today he felt like there was no better option. As a child he’d always been taught that it was a place to avoid where only the most drunken and scummiest of people dwelled. That had always been enough to keep him from wanting to go there… as a child. But as an adult, he felt like there was no place better for him to be just now.

He needed a drink. Sure, there was plenty of booze to be had at Cinch Manor but he preferred to drink somewhere outside of the sight of his family. He had a lot on his mind and he didn’t care to share his thoughts – drunken as they were sure to become – with anyone at the house. Slick’s was only a car ride away and ironically it offered a comfortable amount of anonymity.

He sat alone in a booth with his back to the far wall, absorbed in his own thoughts. He was grateful for the solitude, at least for the moment. The only company he had was the waitress who occasionally brought him a fresh drink every now and again. And he’d noticed that after his second drink, she paused, her eyes lingering on his face though he pretended not to notice. Aside from the waitress, no one here had seemed to recognize him and was thankful for that. There had been times when he’d enjoyed the fame that his career had brought him. But now, he craved isolation.

The tavern was dimly lit, as most taverns tended to be, and as he’d walked in tonight the crunch of peanut shells under his feet had been rivaled only by the sound of the music playing on the overhead speakers and the conversations of the numerous patrons that had droned on as he’d entered unmarked by everyone else in the place.

That alone had made him think that this place was the perfect locale to sit quietly and grease the wheels of his mind. But unfortunately, the only thing that seemed to be coming to him at all was how terribly he had fucked things up for himself today. Him… Kelly… he’d made a shit sandwich out of the whole thing when he’d been hoping for…

He paused at that thought.

Shit, he thought wryly, I don’t even know what I was hoping for.

He just couldn’t figure Kelly out. Sure, maybe he could have gone about it all a different way, but goddamn it… he didn’t know what else to do. Fuck, he’d known hundreds of girls who would have thrown themselves at him for the chance to be his wedding date. That nameless girl he’d left in his hotel room on the other side of the country and jumped at the chance to be so close to him for such a formal occasion. And then here was Kelly. He had an honest, if not strange history with her, and yet she seemed determined to keep away from him at every chance she could get.

He had thought that asking her to be his date to the wedding was, well… romantic. But apparently Susie was the only one who thought so now, and that was largely because she wasn’t in possession of all of the facts. After he’d pounced on Kelly with that suggestion her reactions toward him had gone from being cold and angry to just being downright indifferent. It was as if she suddenly didn’t care if he stopped breathing and dropped dead on the spot.

He would have preferred her to be cold and angry towards him. At least then he would have known how and what she was feeling. He felt alienated now. He wasn’t accustomed to being ignored. And somehow, that Kelly treated him that way made him focus on her all the more, strange as that sounded.

He’d tried to be polite. He’d tried to be charming and not in his usual bad boy kind of way. He’d laughed at her jokes. He tried to talk about the old days. He’d tried to strike up conversations that were half-intellectual, though he wound up looking stupider for trying. He’d sat next to her, but maintained a respectful distance to show that he had no foul intentions. He’d tried to keep close to her for the whole of her visit, even to the point of offering to drive her home – to the “hotel” that she maintained she was staying at, for Susie’s sake – and he’d gotten nothing.

When they had finally had a moment alone, right as she was leaving the grounds, all she had said to him was, “Thanks for not saying anything. Please let me make my own way home.” And she had said it with such determination that a 300 lb. charging linebacker would have seemed less intimidating.

“Shit,” he muttered as pulled his boilermaker towards his lips. The cold drink went down easily and it dulled his senses just enough to the point where he didn’t feel so bad. And again, the irony of his situation washed over him. Bad Chad… the great heartbreaker… felt like he was getting his own heart broken.

Am I? I mean, am I really getting my heart broken? It was a valid enough question. Heartbreak required that the other person in a relationship – Ha! We don’t even have one! – had cared at all about him. That being the case, was he really experiencing heartbreak here? He’d asked himself the same question over and over again with every mug that he’d tipped back. By the end of his third brew his head had become so fogged that it felt like he was actually beginning to forget about his current conundrum.

That’s progress for you, he thought.

He stared at the golden liquid in his mug, watching the bubbles slowly dance their way up the glass. And each little bubble seemed to carry old memories up with them to the surface. Memories went across his mind faster than watching a subway car speed by. He tried to hang on to them, but they slipped away and popped more easily than those same carbonated bubbles he was watching in his glass.

He remembered Kelly… Susie’s party… dancing with her… other girls that had been there weren’t there for Susie, not all of them. They had come for him, some of them. But somehow, his mind was set only on Kelly. The other girls had noticed that and they fixed Kelly with looks of absolute loathing. He remembered bringing her a cup of punch… sitting out on the front steps… thanking her for helping him with school… some innocent laughter between them…

He remembered the warmth of her lips as they pressed against his. So warm… so tender… so inviting… and a strange sensation filling him up like drink took over him and he had wanted more. No girl that he had ever been with had made him feel like that. He’d wanted something from them, sure. But that had always felt like wanting a piece of candy; the experience was sweet, quick, and then it was done with. But Kelly… she was the only one that he’d ever met where he’d felt like he couldn’t get enough.

And that’s what I remember about her.

The memory hung before his eyes like a worm on a hook. He was tempted to take it, but doing so might mean getting caught up in something that would take him completely out of his element. It was both exciting… and terrifying.

More memories came to him.

He remembered holding her hand… gently avoiding the eyes of others at the party as they slipped away… his old room. She had been the one to lock the door. She had stripped away his shirt… his jeans. He’d pulled off her shorts… her bra… their hands had explored each other’s bodies hungrily. The kissing… the moistness of her body as it had pressed against his… the soft and gentle moans she had made…

“Fuck!” he grumbled through clenched teeth, squeezing his mug so tightly that the glass cracked. The mug didn’t shatter, but the wet feeling of beer as it poured over his fingers focused his thoughts. His eyes went to the mug and the golden liquid slowly seeped out through the cracks in the glass where his fingers had bitten into it. The liquid pooled across the table that he sat at and slowly streamed and poured over the edge, soaked up by the dusty shells on the floor.

He pulled his hand way, seeing only a minor cut on his palm. The beer gently dripped from off his hand, gently mingling with a single droplet of blood there. The alcohol didn’t even sting.

“My god, are you okay?” asked a woman’s voice that drew his attention.

He looked and saw the waitress that had been serving him approaching. He took in the full measure of her for the first time since he’d been sitting here. She wore a pair of jean shorts that had been cut Daisy-Duke-style and wore a Harley Davidson t-shirt that was cut low at the neck to show an incredible amount of cleavage and he noticed that she had chosen to come to work braless tonight. Around her waist was an apron that gave him a jolt, reminding him of the uniform that Kelly had worn at her diner. Her hair was dark and curly and she had a figure that would have made him lustful if he were somewhere other than his hometown.

The dark haired woman pulled a towel from the pocket of her apron and pressed it against his injury. He was drunk, he knew it, but he also knew that the wound didn’t merit this kind of attention. If he’d gone to the bathroom and let the faucet run over his hand for thirty seconds the damage would be contained.

“There you go,” she said, her voice becoming smooth as silk. She paused, looking at him. Her eyes flitted over his face and a look of sultry intention formed there. He knew what she was and she knew who he was in turn. By the way her eyes combed over his features he could tell what her intentions were. “Hey… you look familiar.”

Bet she’s been waiting all damn night to use that line, he thought bitterly.

“You’re… Chad? Chad Cinch, aren’t you?” She said it so softly that he could tell she was afraid that someone might overhear her. She was like a dog being greedy with a bone that she intended to snatch from other alley dogs and keep all to herself.

He didn’t answer.

The waitress slowly slunk her way onto the seat opposite him, her fingers gently clasping at his bare skin more than holding the towel to his palm. Her eyes were full of desire and he almost laughed as she straightened her back, allowing her low cut shirt to show him the shape of her tits.

“I’m a big fan,” she said, her voice remaining low. “I never miss your games.”

“That right?”

She nodded. “It’s always incredible to me how you move.” She bit her lip and smiled suggestively. “Not a single fumble this season… you must be very good with your hands.” She gently turned her head sideways and indicated the door. “You know, my shift is up in about ten minutes. Maybe we could…?”

Maybe it was the beer, but suddenly he was feeling sick. He pulled his hands free from the waitresses and looked at his watch. “Sorry, I have someplace I need to be.”

Her look soured, like he had just announced to everyone in the bar that her tits were too small. “You do? Where?”

He pushed himself up out of the booth and dropped her slightly-soiled towel on the table. “Someplace important.” He fished a $50 out of his pocket and dropped it on the table in front of her. “Thanks for the drinks.”

He turned and headed off determinedly for the door. The privacy and anonymity of this place had suddenly gone and he was resolved to be gone just as quickly. Though he slightly wobbled he managed to get the door without interference from anyone and stepped into the slightly cooler night air of Holy Oaks.

I wasn’t lying, he told himself as he stumbled to his truck and started the engine. I do have someplace important to be. Unsure of what it was that he was planning to do once he got there he drove off for the Hathaway apartments.

The trip was quick, taking less than five minutes.

He pulled his truck into a vacant spot on the street and half stumbled up to the lobby door. He was surprised to find that the lobby wasn’t locked. Most cities that he’d been to, usually accompanied by another one of his trophy one-night-stands, there were always some kind of lobby security measures in place.

It’s Holy Oaks, he reminded himself. Everyone trusts each other here.

He found a bank of call buttons on the lobby beside a wall of mail boxes. Mail! He realized it like a kick in the nuts, Kelly’s name’s got to be on one of these! He leaned against the wall, his fingers and eyes tracing every name on every box that was present. He grunted in frustration when he didn’t find Kelly’s name on any of them. Some of them didn’t have names on them at all. It’s Holy Oaks, he reminded himself bitterly.

His eyes fell to the call buttons and a wild idea struck him. It was a wild thought… but perhaps a brilliant one… and one that could lead to some embarrassment.

“Fuck it.”

As if he were tracing a line down the bank of plastic buttons he ran his index finger over each and every one of them. Mechanical buzzes rang out like a chorus of angry mechanized bees until he reached the bottom, indicator lights flashed an angry red next to each button showing that a phone was ringing somewhere in the apartment building. At first, there was no response. He did it again, his second attempt yielded fruit and a cacophony of angry voices reached out to him over the intercom.

“-the fuck is this?”

“Do you know what time it is?”

“I should call the cops!”

“-who’s there?”

“Peter, is that you?”

“Who is it?”

The last voice struck a nerve and he knew whose it was. He leaned against the wall, feeling the alcohol stirring in his blood. “Kelly?”

There were more voices on the intercom.

“Fuck off!”

“-the hell is Kelly?”

“-don’t know any Kelly!”

“-sleep it off, asshole!”

He was undeterred by the angry voices. He’d heard worse from coaches, teammates, and angry rival teams. But his eyes fixated on an indicator light that was blinking and from which Kelly’s sweet voice issued out: apartment 510. He pressed the button eagerly. “Kelly… it’s me! We have to talk!” he demanded.

There was silence for a moment. No more voices reached out to him for a short time before her voice returned. “Chad… go home.”

“No,” he replied, then nearly slurring his words he added, “We need to talk, Kelly and I mean now. Please.”

“Chad… have you been drinking?”

He shook his head in frustration rather than denial, though he knew she could not see him. “Kelly, please, let me come up.” His voice wasn’t angry or upset, but pleading, desperate for a chance to work this out.

Again there was silence before her voice again replied. “Chad, go home.”

“No,” he replied, feeling his determination rising. “I have to see you.” He looked to his left and saw the lobby door. It was electronically locked, he saw that plain enough. Nobody got in unless someone in the building buzzed them in. He was getting in that way. He couldn’t just walk up to her door. He set his lower lip. “If you won’t let me in, then I’m coming up to you.”

He left the lobby behind and stepped back out into the night air. He rounded the corner and had a look up at the building. It was only seven stories high and he felt a slight twitch of irritation at the memory, but the last time he’d been here he remembered where his old conquest had lived. He knew that the even-numbered apartments were on the west side of the building.

First, second, third, fourth, fifth floor… apartment 510… west side… there!

He was saved from having to do anything superbly embarrassing – like looking into people’s open windows for the woman that vexed him so – as he saw a light switch on, on the fifth floor, and then framing herself inside that window was none other than Kelly. She was wearing a housecoat and even from this distance it was impossible to mistake her. And he could feel her eyes watching him.

His eyes turned to the means he knew he had to take to reach her. The old iron fire escape was still there. To his private chagrin he remembered that the escape had been the same way he’d used to get away from his high school tryst when parents had come home unexpectedly. The irony that he would use the same trick, but now in reverse, was not lost on him.

He rushed to the fire escape, jumping the distance to where the second-floor scaffolding hung suspended above the building’s yard. With muscle honed over years of football he easily pulled himself up to the first landing. After that, he scrambled up the iron stairs with slightly uneven steps until finally he came to the right window.

Kelly stood on the opposite side of the glass, her eyes wide, not with terror but surprise. He could barely believe that he had made the climb himself.

“Kelly,” he whispered, leaning against the glass.

“Are you out of your damn mind?!” she growled through the glass.

He began to respond, but stopped. The strangeness of his situation washed over him like a tidal wave. Maybe he was out of his mind. No woman ever had caused him to go to these lengths before. Less than a week ago he’d been content to just leave women in his bed without any explanation for his leaving and crushing any hopes that they’d had of attaching themselves to him. But here he was, very nearly stalking a girl that he’d only really known as his tutor, and years before. And climbing a fire escape to ascend to her apartment like a drunken Romeo seeking a resistant Juliet was definitely not in his repertoire of tricks.

The urgency of the situation forced him to reevaluate his decision to come here and his actions to this very point. “Do you want me to go?” he asked, turning as if to go right back down the iron steps he’d taken to get this high. His foot slipped on the hardened metal and he nearly fell down the steps, barely managing to catch himself as he went.

“Jesus, Chad!” Kelly said, opening the window and stepping out onto the balcony. She slipped her slender hands around his thicker arm and helped to haul him to his feet. She sniffed the air and he was positive she could detect the beer on him. “Christ, you are fucking drunk.”

“I… I…” he tried to speak, but the words would not form. It didn’t matter. She wouldn’t listen to anything that he had to say. Better make it count then, he realized. “I’m sorry… I just had to see you.” He very nearly slouched over and were it not for her support he may well have gone over the side of the fire escape and fallen the full five stories to his death.

“Fuck, Chad,” she growled, her grip tightening. She sighed deeply. The sound was full of regret made in an instant decision. “I’m probably going to regret this, but you can’t leave like this.”

He looked at her, a glimmer of hope formed in his heart.

“Not down the fire escape, I mean,” she clarified. “You’re going to fall and fucking die if you go that way.” She gestured at her open window. “Come on.”

He smirked as he got to his feet, looking at her. “Are you asking me to stay?”

“No, I just want you to leave through the front door. You can…” her words trailed off and she looked him squarely in the eye. For a moment, silence hung between them. It brought back to mind that night so long ago. Sitting on the front steps… out in the open… that silence that had passed between them before he’d had the courage to lean in and kiss her. “Why did you come here?”

“I want you,” he said, the words leaving his mouth before he even realized the weight of them.

Shit.

Kelly only stared at him. Her reaction was not angry, accepting, puzzled, or delighted. She remained just as indifferent now as she had this afternoon. Instead she only held her ground, her gentle strength keeping him upright and the words he’d just spoken seemed to lend him strength. After only a short time, her eyes seemed to pool with tears. It was the same look he’d seen on her face yesterday when he’d dropped her off.

She was in pain.

“Come in, Chad,” she said gently. “I want to show you something.”

He’d heard such words before from other women. And usually it meant that he was about to see everything under their clothes. But that wasn’t the impression he got from Kelly. He sensed that she had something more profound to share with him… something more meaningful.

What?

Gently she guided him into her small apartment. The place wasn’t large and he suddenly felt more like an asshole for it. Being in the house that he’d built for his parents must have been overwhelmingly humbling to her. And to make it worse he realized that all this time Susie had thought that she was living some kind of a grand life in New York, likely inside some kind of a cushy apartment or something. But here she was, in an apartment that didn’t seem any grander than a college dorm with a little extra elbow room.

The apartment was dark, except for the single light that Kelly had turned on when he’d seen her from the ground level. She took him through a narrow hall to a door that was left part way open. She pushed the door softly aside and with only the bit of light shining in from the lamp in the next room, he peered inside.

There was a bed that greeted his sight. And sleeping upon the larger mattress was a small figure. He glimpsed a head of dark and curly hair, a small and rounded face that was almost angelic, and a small pudgy fist that was clenched around a smiling teddy bear.

It was a young girl, he realized. A toddler, she was, and she couldn’t have been more than four or five years old. And one that bore an incredible resemblance to Kelly. As he stood there taking in that sight, the reason Kelly had never left home… had never gone away to school… suddenly became clear.

He looked to Kelly and in an awed voice he whispered, “She’s yours?”

Kelly looked frightened, maybe even a little ashamed, but she nodded. “Ellie,” she said, softly introducing her child. The word was simple, but somehow it seemed elegant. It was fitting… perfect. “She’s the reason why… why I don’t want anyone…” Her voice cracked as though she were truly on the edge of her control now. “Please… just go away.”

He felt as if he’d grown iron spikes that had stuck to the floor, keeping him where he was. He looked back to the sleeping child in the next room and then back to Kelly. It was as if some invisible force were holding him to this spot. That little girl in the next room… she was not a newborn, he’d already determined that. She was four years old at least. Wait… four years old? His heart skipped a beat. No… no, it couldn’t be!

He leaned against the wall, barring Kelly from leaving or even moving. A thought crossed his mind that sailed down his spine and stirred his heart as if he’d been pumped with liquid lightning.

“Kelly,” he said, his voice becoming dry and suddenly it felt as if the alcohol in his body had just evaporated, his mind clearing to the point where it had never felt sharper in the whole of his life. “Is… is she mine?”

“No. She’s not.” She said it simply enough and matter-of-factly before stiffening her lip. “You weren’t the only guy I had in school, Chad. I had others. Now, please, just go home. Leave me here.”

Chad was uncertain if he wanted to feel relieved or if he was crushed. He looked back at the sleeping child and found that he couldn’t take his eyes away from her. He felt captivated by the sight of the young girl, sleeping so innocently. He was drawn to this place and it felt like no power on earth could force him away from it.

“I… I can’t leave,” he whispered. “I don’t want to leave.”

Kelly made no move to force him out. She only tensed her lips and kept her hands to herself. She shut her eyes like some kind of a terrible and painful thought was passing before the front of her mind. When she opened her eyes again she lightly shook her head as if she were already telling him that he could not stay.

“Chad… I need you to go. Please.”

He could hear the pleading in her voice, the pain that was filling her words stabbed at him like knives. He had no desire to cause her any pain and if his presence was enough to do that then he knew that he should leave. But his eyes were drawn back to the sleeping toddler… then back to her mother.

“Kelly… I… I would… I swear, I would… but…” he wobbled again on his feet. He saw a tear roll down her face. That was twice in the last two days that he had seen her cry and a part of him longed to reach out and sooth that pain. He wanted to hold her, to absorb that hurt any way that he could. But he felt powerless just standing here as he was. Kelly obviously didn’t want his help. She didn’t want anything to do with him.

“Fine,” she said, resolutely, but her tone was bordering on the edge of her patience. “You can sleep on the couch,” she said, her voice teary and nearly a sob. “But when I wake up in the morning, I want you to be gone.”

She quickly turned and slipped into the room with her daughter and closed the door. The telltale click of the lock told him that he was not welcome past that threshold. And for a long time, he simply stood there alone in the dark.

The silence and the darkness enveloped her on the outside, offering little or no sanctuary. The pain and anguish consumed her from the inside out.

Kelly’s face was wet with tears that had poured from her in silence.

As soon as she had closed and locked the door on Chad she had crossed her arms and slid down the wall to sit on the carpeted floor of her daughter’s room. It seemed a cowardly thing to do, but she couldn’t bear to stand there looking at him a second longer. And once she was secure in Ellie’s bedroom, hugging her knees up to her chest, the tears had flowed freely. She silently sobbed into her knees, trying her level best to keep her voice from rising too high. It was more for Chad’s sake than it was for Ellie’s. She had no desire to rouse her child from her rest, but more than that she was terrified that Chad would hear her crying.

He had that damn look!

She knew that look he’d worn. She’d never forgotten it. It was the expression of man that could tell that she was upset and in pain and that he might do whatever he needed to do in order to quell that pain.

She didn’t want him to know that she was in pain. She didn’t want him to know that she was hurting. She didn’t want him to know that it was killing her inside to be this close to him and not wanting to be with him. That was what hurt her more than anything; she knew the reason why she didn’t want to be with him… but to acknowledge it aloud seemed as suicidal as playing chicken with a train.

She felt inside out.

Tears rolled freely down her cheeks and she felt as helpless as a thirty ton whale washed ashore. She felt like she was dying… drying out slowly in a hot sun. No matter how she struggled, no matter how badly she wished to return to the cold depths of the ocean that was so very near, she was forever cut off from it by no more than a small strip of sand. And it was sand that was choking her.

She looked at Ellie, who slept soundly in her bed and holding onto her favorite teddy bear, completely unaware of the anguish that her mother was in. Gently the child stirred beneath her covers, turning over and releasing the gentlest of sighs, her breathing even and comfortable. Kelly envied her daughter for her peaceful sleep. Ellie was unaware of the mountain of regret that was currently piled upon her mother’s shoulders. Tomorrow, Ellie would wake and never be aware of everything that had happened this night.

She’ll never know how close she came to meeting her father, she realized. And that thought struck her as if she had been impaled on some kind of a medieval war pike. But the pain that it caused was just as severe and life-threatening.

Kelly felt a crushing feeling upon her whole body. It felt as if she couldn’t breathe and not just because of her own crying, but because of the weight of her situation. Her shoulders… her lungs… her neck… her arms… her legs… they all felt as limp and lifeless as a puppet with its strings cut.

God… why did I lie?

She had no idea, except to say that at the time it had seemed like the thing to do. She wanted things simple… she wanted them organized. That was the way it had been when she was growing up. Everything could be organized according to schedules, to timetables, to a good sense or order. Like music; a few notes, a couple of rests, everything in its appropriate measure, while on a page it looked like chaos, but to one who could interpret it, it would form a thing of incredible beauty.

But then Chad had come along. And all it had taken was one night for her to learn that organization was not possible where Chad Cinch was involved. And from that single night, her life had spiraled out of control until she had landed here.

Although here was not a bad place to be… she had Ellie. And that had seemed enough, the only music that she needed was the laughter of her daughter.

And then Chad had returned home and suddenly it felt as if she were swept up into the funnel of a raging tornado. More chaos seemed inevitable now that Chad was here… that he was in her life, however briefly.

All he has to do is stay for the wedding and then he’ll be gone, she told herself. Just a few more days, then he’ll go back to his damn football team… to his fame… to the other women that he finds.

To see him taking the long road out of town seemed a pleasant thought. But to have him close again, as close as he had been that night… that seemed equally pleasant.

No, she realized after only a moment’s deliberation. No… it seems better.

“She’s not yours,” she whispered to the darkness, hoping that somehow Chad, hell, the universe would hear the words and accept them.

She had screamed this thought in her mind over and over again so many times and yet it had not lost its sting. The words had burned in her mind as if they had been seared there with a red hot branding iron and to have spoken them aloud made it feel as if someone had poured a gallon of lemon juice over those wounds.

The whole situation was hanging over her head like a storm cloud and every crash of thunder sent new waves of pain to her mind. She couldn’t get over what she had said… what Chad had done… and what she was thinking now.

I had other guys in high school? It had sounded ridiculous when she had said it aloud. And now, locked alone with the privacy of her thoughts it sounded even more absurd. Everyone had known Kelly in high school, even if they weren’t directly friendly with her. She had been the musical prodigy that no one would look twice at… the strange and awkward girl that was constantly ignored wherever she went… the one that most people only vaguely recognized in passing if at all. To indicate that she had been popular enough in high school to the point where she’d had sex with more than one guy was like saying that she was more promiscuous than Chad himself.

Yeah… I had other guys in high school… he’s going to totally believe that.

She had no idea what was going on. Not in her life… not in her mind… nothing was as it had been just a few short days ago. Nothing about her life had been complicated or overly necessary to worry about. It had just been her, Ellie, and the usual day-to-day struggles when her biggest worry was Touchy Turk and how hard he would pinch her ass.

Now, everything seemed as inverted as though her world had literally been turned upside down. Chad. Susie. She had to spend time with them now because if she didn’t then the truth of her lies would come out. And somehow that frightened her more than being alone. She had never been one to worry about what others had thought of her… but if Susie were to learn the truth… that she and Chad had…

“Oh, god,” she whispered, bending her forehead back to her knees. She whimpered, trying to keep her sobs as silent as possible.

She had no idea why, but somehow it seemed important to her that someone still thought of her as a good person. Chad already knew the truth, even before she had tried to cover it with her lies, and he knew even more now. And whatever reason he had for coming here…

“I want you,” he had said. The words rebounded off the walls of her mind as if they had been shouted in a room with a high-vaulted ceiling. And she ached from hearing them.

She wanted to believe that they were true. That they were true on some level she didn’t doubt, but what she did doubt was that they were true the way she wanted them to be. What does he want? Does he want me? Or does he want my body? From everything that she had heard about him, namely his sexual escapades, it was easy enough to believe that he only wanted her body. He had come home to the place where he had been most promiscuous. Kelly knew that if she threw a coin in the air it would land at the feet of some girl that Chad had fucked when he was still here. Hell, even if she dropped that coin at her own feet it would still be true.

That thought stung at her as well. Yes, she had admitted to herself long ago, that she had felt something for Chad Cinch once upon a time. Where others worshipped him for his prowess as a football player, she had found something else in him to admire. She had found him attractive… charming… he’d said all of the right words… made her feel good… and she’d wanted him. She’d tutored him off and on for a time and she had found herself looking forward to that time they’d spent together whenever he needed to hit the books. And then, in the course of a single night, she had found herself wanting more.

She wasn’t an idiot. She had heard about Chad’s reputation from other girls… but she had been naïve and hadn’t believed it. She liked to think that he presented the persona of the run-of-the-mil bad boy and she had found that marginally attractive as well. But when they were alone together, he wasn’t that guy. He was… someone else. He was different… and that held more appeal. And she’d wanted it, even if only for a little while.

And she’d gotten it.

“Fuck,” she whispered to the darkness.

From somewhere through the door, the silence of the night slowly dissipated and a new sound reached her ears. She froze, her ears becoming as alert as a dog’s. She waited, hoping to receive some sign that Chad had sobered up enough to make his way to the door and shown himself out.

She looked at the clock on Ellie’s bedside table. It read 4:19 A.M. Damn… Realizing how long she’d been sitting here shocked her. It had been just after 1 A.M. that Chad had pulled his crazy stunt of climbing the fire escape to get to her window. And that she had been sitting here this whole time, wrapped up in her own thoughts, made her feel all the more uncomfortable.

The familiar sound of water running, the gentle patter of water on the plastic floor reached her ears.

He’s taking a shower?!

The realization hit her as if he had walked into this room and smacked her across the jaw. He’d done the opposite of leaving. He was staying… and he was making himself comfortable.

“Christ,” she whimpered.

She rocked back and forth on her hindquarters. The air suddenly seemed to have become more charged than it had been a moment before. It was heavy, like it actually hurt her lungs to breathe.

She cringed. The idea of him being in her home… in this small pocket of the world that she had carved out and claimed as her own… and using it as if he were welcome to it any time he liked… it was officially too much.

“Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!” she uttered.

She pushed herself up to her feet, unlocked Ellie’s bedroom door, and slipped out into the dark hall beyond.

She saw a light coming from under the bathroom door and the sounds of the shower running confirmed her fear. She stiffened her resolve. Chad had been here for hours and in all that time he hadn’t bothered her, but now he had crossed the line. If he was sober enough to shower then he was sober enough to drive home. It was time for him to leave.

She threw open the bathroom door and halted in her tracks.

A wave of heat and steam rushed out to meet her. The steam cleared and revealed to her an image that stole her breath away and stirred more than a few old feelings within her.

Well… what did I expect to find in my shower other than a naked man?

His clothes were scattered across the floor and Chad stood there under the simple jets of her shower. The image of his body was obscured through the glass shower doors. Though his back was to her and the image of his skin was clouded by the fogged glass she could tell that he was covered in more tattoos and scars than she remembered. His muscles tensed and the water dripped off of his flesh over more ridges than she would have thought possible. His shape had improved since the last time she had seen him naked. He was more developed; his muscles were more highly toned. Apparently a life in the NFL agreed with him.

“Chad…” she said, her voice barely a whisper that didn’t reach him over the hiss of the shower.

He kept his back to her, his hands resting against the tiled wall of the shower as though he were being arrested. The water continued to beat down on his head, strings of water dripped from off of his body.

She gathered her strength and stepped further into the bathroom, closing the door behind her and coming closer to him. She gingerly reached out and opened the shower door and a fresh wave of steam reached out to envelope her.

“Chad!” she said, the volume of her voice rising.

This time he heard her and slowly he turned to face her.

Her breath caught in her throat.

He was hard.

His cock was already standing at attention, as if she were a general and he some lowly soldier ready for inspection. Unable to help herself her eyes drifted down to his cock. It was ready and begging for her attention.

Her eyes traversed over his body. His abs were rock hard and looked fit enough to grate cheese over. His pectorals were well formed, his shoulders broad, his thighs and calves thick from years spent running a football across a hundred yards of turf. His hair had been washed into a wet mess and thin threads of water dripped from the tips of his scalp. The veins of his neck pulsed almost as much as the veins within his penis.

The water dripped from off of him and every single droplet seemed to cling to him as if the water itself didn’t want to leave so perfect a form. For a moment she forgot that the steam was being generated by the shower and thought that it was more likely that he was turning the water to mist by doing nothing more than standing there.

His eyes locked and hers and years’ worth of old feelings came back over her. She felt it again… that old pull… that same desire that she’d felt years ago. It overtook her as if she had just stuck her head into a bear trap and suddenly her mind seemed detached from the rest of her.

“Kelly…” he said softly, his voice just as endearing as the rest of him.

For a moment, all she could do was stand where she was. As she looked into his eyes, her own grief, her anger, her self-resentment, every little detail of her life that had formed her into the person that she was now seemed to evaporate just as quickly as the steam that surrounded them both.

A fresh tear formed on her face, but this one was born from a different emotion. And that emotion overpowered her as he stepped out of the shower to stand evenly with her. He was so close that she could feel the heat rising from off of his body.

“Goddamn you,” she said, her voice breaking. “I want you, too. I’ve only ever wanted you.”

There was silence between them. It was the same silence that had passed through them once before, years ago. The silence seemed so palpable that it felt like an invisible barrier had gone up between them. Despite that, Chad managed to surmount and shatter that barrier with the simplest of ease.

Slowly he reached out a hand. His fingers found the simple cotton belt of her housecoat and with slow and deliberate movements he untied it. She kept her hands to her side, not stopping him or helping him as he parted the flaps.

He used both hands to slowly reach inside her cotton garment, parting the folds. Slowly more and more of her skin was exposed to the heat of the already steamy bathroom. But her skin felt so warm, her blood like fire, that she didn’t even notice the heat generated by the hot water any longer.

With a tantalizing touch, he slowly ran his fingers up from her abdomen, through the narrow valley between her breasts to her shoulders. And with a simple push he slipped her from out of her garment entirely and it fell into a heap at her ankles.

His eyes took in the sight of her, though she was dressed still in her panties and her bra she could feel his interest growing. She trembled under his touch as he used the back of his fingers to lightly caress her chest… her belly… her thighs. She remembered that touch. She remembered how electrifying it had felt and how powerless she had been against it.

He stepped to her, standing so close that she could feel the tip of his cock lightly prodding her. His hands found her breasts, lightly squeezing them. Her body began to ache for more of his touch. It had been so long since she had been with a man… four years in fact… and the last man that she’d been with stood before her now.

His hands snaked around her, finding the clasp of her bra and unhitching it. With fingers so delicate in their touch he gently pulled the garment away and dropped it to the floor. His fingers lightly traced the edges of her areolas and brushed against her nipples, making them hard.

His fingers went south, slipping inside the elastic band that held her panties in place. To her delight he dropped down to his knees, like a humble man about to pray to the statue of a chosen goddess. She could only watch him, her body trembling under the soft strokes of his fingers as they slowly began to pull her panties down until they too pooled on the floor at her feet.

Then he stood, his fingers interlacing with hers and slowly he pulled her under the warm jets of the shower.

Chad pulled her to him.

He felt like a magnet and she was some piece of metal that ordinarily was not drawn to his power. But through some magnificent trick of nature, she was now attracted to him. He reveled in that power, but not in the way he usually did when a woman was drawn to him.

With others, it had been nothing more than sex. It had been only the pleasures of the body that he sought. But with the woman now in his arms, it became more important than that. It felt like together they were forging something unique… something special… something that even he, with all of his wealth and fame had always been lacking.

But with Kelly, he found it in abundance… whatever it was.

It was powerful, this feeling. It overcame the confusion, the anger, the strange awkwardness he had felt… even the cold indifference that she had presented him with all day were suddenly lost and absorbed into the void. It was as if their feelings were being cleansed by the steam of the shower. All that mattered was that they were here, together.

He ached for her touch.

He put his mouth hungrily upon hers and she welcomed and returned the affection. Her arms snaked around his neck, her fingers running through his thick scalp, exciting him. His hands snaked around to her ass, clutching it, squeezing it. A painful and delighted moan left her.

She parted their kiss for only a moment. “God… I don’t know what I’m doing,” she whispered, uncertainty was still rife in her voice.

That was enough to cause him pause. “Do you want to stop?” His heart skipped a beat as the words left his lips. More than anything he wanted them to go on. He wanted to relive that night that they had shared long ago… but he wanted to do it right. There was no party in the next room. They had no need to be quiet for fear that the other party guests would hear and see them. Tonight was entirely for them… at least he wanted it that way.

He was quiet, waiting for her response. Silently he prayed that she would not want to stop. He had heard her words, “I want you, too,” she had said. That seemed more than enough for him… more than he had ever hoped for.

“No,” she said, shaking her head gently from side to side, locking eyes with him. “No,” she repeated. “I don’t want us to stop.”

He needed nothing else.

He hiked one of her legs up around his hip, her foot arching over the back of his leg. Her tongue slipped eagerly into his mouth, exciting him. Her tongue played with his, slipping in and out and probing every last crevice of his mouth as if she had never explored it before. He remembered that about her… she was good with her tongue.

Her hands slid down from around his neck, combing over his pecs and abs as if she were blind and reading brail. He almost gasped as her hands found his dick, one hand holding steady at the base while the other began to gently massage and pump him.

He did his best to keep their kiss connected, but the actions of her hands demanded his focus. He wanted this… god, he wanted this! Not just the sex, but what it was attached to. He felt amazing and only Kelly had ever made him feel this way. She wasn’t just that quiet girl who loved to play the violin that he remembered. She had a fire… a wild side that only he had ever seen. And he felt that fire even now, growing and growing between them to the point where even the heat of the shower was dwarfed by that kind of fire.

“Shit…” he gasped as her hands stroked him eagerly, “oh, shit!”

Her tongue slipped one final time into his mouth before she withdrew from him and fell to her knees. He was surprised by the movement and he felt passionately enthralled to her as her mouth slid over his cock, taking over what her hands bad begun.

Fuck! She’s learned a few things since the last time!

Her mouth was even warmer than the hot water that drenched them both. He leaned against the wall of the shower, the power of her mouth alone made him feel weak and helpless. With her left hand she played with his balls, gently cradling and kneading them and sending him right to the edge of control. With her right hand she reached up, her fingers splayed, running over his wet torso. The tips of her fingers traced the edges of his muscles and teased the seams of his scars.

“Fuck,” he groaned as she bobbed up and down on him. She moved slowly at first, then faster and faster, driving him to the verge of madness. God! Her mouth is so warm! No other woman that he’d ever been with had been this good. Even ones that had known very well how to please him had never been like this. Something had been absent with those others… something that only Kelly seemed to have.

She pulled him from her mouth and looked up at him, a small smile forming on her face. He liked it when she smiled. It was magnetic, forcing him to smile as well. He cupped her face in his hands and guided her back to her feet. He put his mouth on hers and once again her tongue entered eagerly into his mouth. The cold indifference that she had met him with was gone, like it had never existed.

“God, I want you,” he repeated, his passion and desire flaring as if suddenly fueled with napalm. His hands slipped down to her ass and grasping them firmly he lifted her from off the slippery shower floor and with no more effort than was required to lift a football above his head, he hoisted her up and pressed her against the wall so that the palms of her hands could touch the ceiling.

She gasped as he held her aloft, burying his face in the narrow space between her legs. Her gasp turned to a pleasurable moan as his stuck his tongue inside of her. Desire lent him strength as he held her up with one hand and using his free fingers he pried apart the folds of her pussy. His tongue and fingers eagerly explored her inside and out. That was something that he had not done to her before. But years’ worth of practice had taught him the right way to pleasure a woman.

He licked at her mons… he teased the folds of her vulva both inside and out, he tickled her G-spot with the tip of his tongue. He could taste the sweet and saltiness of her at the same time. Her legs folded around his neck, the backs of her knees rested on his shoulders, giving him leverage.

He pressed his face so deeply into her that she moaned aloud, her fingers running through his hair like mad, driving him on. It was so strange. He had not done this for her either, when last they had been together. It was suddenly as if he was possessed by some kind of hunger that only she could fill. And now that he tasted her, he didn’t want to eat anything else. The realization hit him as hard as any offensive player he’d encountered on the field.

He liked it.

His lips pried her pussy apart while his hands shot up her belly the same way that hers had over his torso. His hands felt their way up to her tits, squeezing them firmly. Again she moaned under his touch. Inside and out, he was able to feel the warmth generated by her.

“Put me down,” she half-whispered, “Chad, put me down.”

Though he felt as if she could have gone on forever with her this way, he obeyed. Gently, he lowered her back to the floor, her legs unhooking from over his shoulders until he set her lithely back upon her feet.

Her mouth once more sought his out, her hands brushing against the stubble on his face. His hands explored her flanks, the tips of his fingers sensuously running up and down her sides. She lightly giggled at his touch, but their kiss endured.

She gently broke away from his lips, kissing her way along his cheek until her lips hovered just above his ear. “Fuck me,” she whispered. “Do whatever you want with me.”

He obeyed, taking her and putting her against the glass wall of the shower, her hands and breasts pressing against the steamed glass. He put one hand on the back of her neck, the other on her hip.

Slowly, he slid into her from behind.

God, she’s even warmer here!

This too, was something that they had not tried before. It felt amazing. His first thrust conjured a small moan from her, as did his second, and third, and fourth. Together, they settled into a rhythm. He could feel that same sensation growing within him that he had not felt for four years. There was a sense of rightness to being with Kelly. It was as if they were supposed to be this way and that every other woman he’d had before now was nothing more than a diversion… something that had kept him distracted from what was more important. Distracted from what was most important. And that he had been without this – without Kelly – for all this time seemed as stupid an idea as fireworks on an oil rig.

Her hands abandoned their place on the glass, reaching out behind her… to him. He took her slender hands in his larger ones and their fingers interlocked. Together the tension that formed between his arms and hers added to their passion. She pulled against him as he thrust inside of her and the reaction brought forth more than just heat and pleasured groans from the pair of them… it was almost musical. Music that only Kelly could have made him appreciate.

She paused, releasing his hands and holding herself up against the glass of the wall. He too paused, leaning forward, his chest pressed against her back as they nearly doubled over with their delight. His hands sought out her tits, cupping them, gently massaging them as though it were the first time he had ever been with a woman. Her hands went to his, slowing his movements down, showing him silently how she liked to be touched.

“Yes, yes,” she moaned.

She stood up straight, tilting her head so that they might again kiss and they leaned against the wall of the shower. She freed one hand and blindly felt around for the shower faucet and shut the water off. The hiss of the spraying jets ceased and in the sudden silence of the stilled bathroom, he continued to fondle her, their mouths joined.

His free hand traveled down to her pussy, the tips of his fingers gently playing with the thin patch of pubic hair that resided there. She responded to his touch, her legs nearly giving out underneath her.

He bent low and swept her up into his arms, her arms in turn hooking around his neck to give herself support. He held her up, their mouths still joined, and with little effort he carried her from the bathroom and back into the slightly cooler air of the hallway beyond.

“Where are we going?” she asked, her voice quiet as if she feared waking her sleeping daughter.

He smiled at her in the darkness. “To the bed,” he replied before hastily putting his mouth back upon hers. Too many years had gone by where he was not kissing those lips and now, it felt as if he had been presented an opportunity to make up for it. And he intended to not waste a second of it.

Before he’d gotten into the shower he had done a small piece of exploring when looking for the bathroom. He knew where Kelly’s bedroom was and as though he’d lived here as long as she had he carried her to her bedroom.

He lovingly set her atop her bed. The sheets were cool compared to the heat of the shower, drying some of the moisture that lingered on each of their bodies. Her hands swept over his face and down his torso, once again taking hold of his cock as he gently pried her legs apart.

She guided him into her.

It felt so right, being with her and like this. The sensation had been so far removed from his senses that it felt brand new to him all over again. He took it all in. She was wet, and not just from the shower, and that heat that she seemed to be creating from nothingness threatened to swallow them both. He welcomed it. He could think of nothing better than to be swept up inside that heat… with her.

She hooked her legs around his waist, linking them at her ankles while the flat of her hands pressed against his chest. He put his hands out on either side of her, almost as if he were about to do pushups.

Slowly, he began to move with her.

Her body tensed and moistened, her fingers digging lightly into his skin. The deeper he plunged the more her fingers dug at him. She had no fingernails, but the slightly painful but blunted sensation was nothing new to him. But coming from her, it was as if he had never felt it before in his life.

“Oh, Chad,” she moaned softly, her hands hooking up under his arms to rest on his shoulder blades, hugging him closer to her.

Their bodies pressed together, his face only lightly hovering above hers. He looked into her eyes as they moved together. Her eyes were searching, like she was plunging as deeply inside of him as he was inside of her. But her searching seemed the more passionate… the more personal. He could have gotten lost in those eyes and not cared if he spent the rest of his life searching for a way out. All he wanted was to be here with her, in this one perfect moment in time.

“Tell me you want me,” she said, her voice almost sounding as though she were still on the verge of tears.

“I want you,” he obeyed, kissing her neck.

“Tell me you need me,” she added, a tear rolling from the corner of her eye.

“I need you, Kelly,” he added, rising up to look her in the eyes once again. “I need you more than I’ve ever needed anything in my whole fucking life.”

He saw it again, that look of pain on her face. But this time, he wasn’t about to let it go unchallenged. He cradled her as best as he could with his own body, as if he could shield her from all of the hurt in the world.

And together, locked in the most primal of dances that a man and a woman could share, they continued to move to music that only they could make.

The rest of the world just seemed to fade away.

It was the beeping of her alarm that woke her.

She blinked the sleep from out of her eyes as they went to her alarm clock. The clock told her that it was 6:30 A.M. She was confused a moment before she recalled that today was her day off. Ellie would be rising soon and she had to get ready to serve breakfast. And from the time displayed she was able to infer that she had only been asleep for an hour or so.

No… less than that… we didn’t stop until… She couldn’t remember exactly when she had fallen asleep. She remembered that it had been close to 4 A.M. when she’d heard Chad in the shower. And their lovemaking had lasted for so long… God, maybe she had only been asleep for a few minutes?

No, that didn’t seem likely. She felt rested, at least partially. It was clear that a full night’s sleep hadn’t been a part of her evening, but she felt as though she had slept for at least a portion of a long while.

She wondered at that. How long was I asleep for? It didn’t seem right as she reached out to silence the annoying alarm clock. Her muscles almost felt as if they had been stretched to the point of snapping as she did so, then she relaxed, drawing her arm back in.

Memories of last night came pouring back to her. Chad… the fire escape of her apartment… she remembered showing him Ellie… their time in the shower… and eventually they had wound up together in bed. Warm and tender as the latter thought had been, she felt groggy thinking about it.

Was it a mistake to do that?

Part of her thought so. Another part of her thought that nothing could have been more right. She recalled the passion of their lovemaking. The touching… the tasting… the kissing… the sensation of Chad feeling her inside and out… the tender words that they had exchanged… the exhilaration of doing things that she had only ever dreamt of doing before.

In a way, it still almost felt like a dream. There was certainly nothing wrong about that. Something had been special about last night. It was as if she had found some long-lost personal treasure and had enjoyed the revelry of having found it again.

Maybe Chad felt the same way?

She smiled to herself at the possibility as she rolled over on her bed, half-expecting to find the warm and muscled form of Chad to be lying in the bed with her. But as her arm crossed the expanse of her mattress she found only empty space waiting for her.

For one brief moment she thought that she had imagined the whole thing. But as she moved, she felt soreness in her muscles that promised that what she had experienced had been real. And the fact that she was naked under her covers confirmed that fact.

She sat up, noticing that the sun was already shining through her bedroom window, casting lances of light through the shutters of her windows. The sheets fell away from her body and though she was alone she self-consciously drew them back up to hide her naked form.

She sniffed at the air. Something was different about it. She smelled musk, the aftereffect of dried sweat and pheromones and otherwise spent sexual energies lingered in the air.

Her eyes went to a nearby chair. She saw her housecoat and the bra and panties she had been wearing last night resting idly upon it. She tried to remember when she had last been wearing them.

The shower… Chad took them off…

And Chad was nowhere to be seen.

“Oh god,” she whispered to herself.

She quickly swept from out of her bed and rushed to where her garments laid. She slipped her bra and panties back on and tucked herself back into her housecoat. As she moved she noticed how her muscles responded. She definitely felt tender, she had not moved as she had last night for quite some time. Some muscle groups felt as though they had not been exercised for a long time.

She flew to her bedroom door, which she noticed had been left closed. She opened it and a new scent reached her nostrils. One that was enough to give her pause, for its scent was sweet and familiar.

Pancakes?

The sound of clanking plates and a low laugh froze her. She listened, her ears trained down the hall. She heard it again, the sound of plates clanking and the unmistakable sound of Ellie’s laughter. It was followed almost immediately by a low rumbling laughter that belonged to a man.

Slowly, she inched forward in the hall towards the strange noise. A quick glance down the hall showed her that Ellie’s bedroom door was open. She went to her daughter’s room and peered inside. Ellie’s bed was empty, the covers had been left unattended as if she had just risen from sleep and began to wander about the house.

That was strange. Kelly knew Ellie’s temperaments and when her child rose before she did, she had a habit of waking her up, asking for breakfast. Even on a day like today, when Kelly had time off from the diner, Ellie would still be awake and demanding her mother’s attention.

She slowly moved down the hall towards the sound of the kitchen noise, the calm laughter, and the pleasing smell of what could only be breakfast.

When she came to the bend that would lead her to the kitchen, she paused, listening to the voices just beyond. What she heard made her question her own sanity.

“Would you like some more milk, your highness?”

Chad?

There was a response of excited half gibberish that Kelly recognized as Ellie’s voice, but she took it to mean, “Yes, please.”

She arched a curious eyebrow and slowly peered around the corner. What she saw there made her think that she was in fact still dreaming.

Ellie sat at the breakfast table, still clad in her pajamas but with her favorite princess tiara sitting squarely on her head, and a pair of pink fairy wings clipped to her back. Sitting adjacent to her was her teddy bear, with an empty plate and cup sitting in front of him, but he maintained his constant smile just the same.

But the true wonder that met her eyes was Chad.

He sat in the chair opposite Ellie. He was dressed in his clothes, thankfully, but his look was supplemented by the pair of pink fairy wings and princess tiara that matched Ellie’s that he wore. The wings looked tiny upon his back. She imagined that from Ellie’s vantage point that they could barely be seen if at all. He almost looked ridiculous, this overlarge football player with tattoos running up and down his arms, dressed with fairy wings and a princess tiara on his head.

But at the same time he looked… sweet.

Before Ellie and Chad both, a steaming pancake sat on their plates. Ellie’s was slightly smaller and already much of the flapjack was gone. She had a healthy appetite this morning, Kelly saw. Chad’s plate was also partially cleared. And on the counter beside the stove there sat a small bowl of batter, ready to make more of the delicious smelling breakfast items if they wished.

Chad poured milk into Ellie’s smaller cup, filling it halfway. When he’d finished, Ellie picked up her cup and drank from it, a milk mustache gracing her features, but she thanked him silently with a smile.

I’m dreaming… I must be dreaming… she thought.

Ellie’s eyes turned from Chad and went to her. “Mommy!”

Chad turned to see her. For a moment, she half expected him to embarrassingly pull the tiara and wings from off his head and back to save himself from any embarrassment. But to her astonishment, he only smiled as if this were the most natural thing in the world and that he had done it hundreds of times.

Ellie dropped down from her chair and sped towards her, throwing her arms around her legs and hugging her the only way a four-year-old knew how. She squealed with delight, her energy already up and ready to sap Kelly’s already depleted strength. She hugged her child back. “Hi, baby,” she greeted the eager girl.

“Good morning,” Chad said as he rose to his feet.

Kelly’s eyes went to him, watching him as he moved. He didn’t carry himself like there was any alcohol in his system. Somewhere in the back of her mind she noted that that meant he was alright to travel, but some part of her wanted him to stay right here. She wanted things to be just as they were, here and now, and that they would never change.

“Morning,” she replied, feeling herself blush a little. For a moment there was silence between them until she cast around for something to say, her sight returning to the bowl of batter on the kitchen counter. “It smells good. I didn’t know you could cook.”

He shrugged. “I’m a man of many hidden talents, I guess.”

I learned that last night, she thought to herself, her cheeks flushing more.

“Would the queen like her breakfast?” he asked, sweeping into a deep and almost impish bow. “The princess of the castle has enjoyed her breakfast. I suppose mommy would like some as well?”

Ellie jumped up and down excitedly on her feet. “Say, yes, mommy!”

Spurred by her child’s enthusiasm she smiled and realized the gesture that he was making was for Ellie’s benefit. “Why, yes… the queen would very much like to dine with the princess.”

“I’ll prepare thee a feast, straight away,” Chad said, striking an upright and soldierly pose as he marched like a wind-up soldier to the kitchen where he began preparing another pancake on a steaming skillet.

Ellie laughed and clapped her hands delightedly at the sight. Kelly couldn’t help but smile as well.

They enjoyed their breakfast, much of which involved small gestures and jokes on Chad’s behalf that Ellie found nothing but hysterical. Kelly had never seen her laugh so much. Not even with Rachel in the house. It seemed to her that the newness of a fresh face did wonders for her child.

The morning carried on and Kelly was surprised to see that Chad couldn’t seem to tear himself away from Ellie’s side. They played Candyland, Ellie’s favorite game, and she stomped him every time they started a new game. They played hide and seek, to which she also noticed that Ellie demonstrated new skills in finding places to hide. And in keeping with appearances, Chad was invited to Ellie’s tea time, in which her favorite teddy bear and a small assortment of other stuffed animals were invited.

Unable to help herself, Kelly took out her phone and began to take pictures of this large pro football player drinking invisible tea with a little girl, now dressed in one of her silver princess dresses. The sight of them together was like magic. He took to Ellie like he had been here every day for her whole life. And what was more, Ellie seemed to relish the attention that she was getting.

They played other games. Ellie removed her toy violin from her toy chest and put on a show-stopping concert for Chad and her both, to which she received enormous applause.

They sat at the table and drew on paper pads. Ellie drew something that looked much like a house with trees and lots of flowers in front. Kelly was uncertain what Chad had drawn, but Ellie seemed to find it amazing nonetheless, especially when she put stickers all over his creation.

They took a brief break to help her wash the dishes. Kelly washed the dishes before handing them off to Ellie, who dried them with practiced expertise, and then passed them in turn to Chad who put each plate, pot, pan, bowl, and piece of silverware exactly where Ellie instructed him to. It was strange having Chad so near and doing things that seemed utterly out-of-character for him.

Kelly was almost jealous.

It wasn’t until Ellie was finally tuckered out enough to need a nap – and nearly an hour ahead of her usual time – that Kelly felt the weight of the previous night bearing down on her. The old emotions of them being together long ago and then again last night seemed to clash inside of her, creating a storm that she was unsure how to weather.

Chad closed the door to Ellie’s room, leaving it open only part of the way as he knew it had been last night. And with silence finally returning to the apartment, he turned to look at her, a smile on his face. Not a lustful smile, like she had expected. Something else was there. It was something that spoke of… contentment.

“She played hard,” she said softly, not knowing what else to say. “She usually doesn’t go down for a nap for at least another hour.”

He smirked and finally removed the tiara from off of his head, examining it in his hand like he’d never seen one before. “Well, I guess all that NFL conditioning is good training for dealing with kids.” They stood in silence for a moment before he spoke again. “She’s a good kid, Kelly.”

“The best,” she acknowledged.

“She’s a lot like you.”

It was meant to be a compliment, she knew, but the words dug at her like a bulldozer. She diverted her eyes downward, extending her hand out to take the tiara from him as cover for diverting her gaze. “Thanks,” she said, turning away, unable to look at him. The weight of her lies from the past evening was starting to crush her and that weight was supplemented by the fact that she had watched her daughter enjoy an entire morning playing… with her father.

“Listen… about last night…” he began.

“It was great,” she acknowledged, but her tone was flat and without enthusiasm. It was like she was talking about the color of the walls of her apartment.

“Uh… I would have chosen a different adjective,” he replied, trying to be humorous. “Something more along the lines of… I don’t know… amazing, maybe?”

She felt the pressure of her lies building. He was being sweet, just like he had been the first time that they had slept together. And she was able to gauge that he was being honest with her. He had already gotten the sex… he had no reason to keep pouring on the charm unless he meant it. She was compounded by her lies and the desire to suddenly see him gone became just as important as wanting him to stay when she’d first awoken this morning.

“Listen, Chad,” she said, trying to muster her courage. “I… I don’t know what to make of all of this.”

He shrugged. “Well, I don’t either… but that’s what makes it kind of exciting, doesn’t it? I mean, we can figure this out together.”

She shook her head. “How? I figure you’re not going to be around long after the wedding, are you?”

He froze at that, his eyes falling guiltily to the floor.

“See?” she pointed out. She saw an opening and decided to take it. “Chad… last night was amazing. But, we both know that it can’t lead anywhere. So let’s just say that this was one time for old time’s sake… and we’ll just leave it at that.”

He looked up at her. There had been something reminiscent of joy and pleasure on his face a moment before. But now, he almost looked hurt by the suggestion that she had silently made. “You want me to leave?”

The words bit into her like a Great White. Last night, with him drunk on her fire escape, she had wanted nothing more. But now, only uncertainty lived where desire had been. She wanted him to go… but part of her also wanted him to stay. Confusion was seeping into her every thought.

“Yes,” she said, the word seemed to bite her tongue even as she said it. “You did great with Ellie today, really. But we both know that… that a kid complicates things…”

“But that’s just it,” he said, sounding surprised. “I actually had fun playing with her today. And that may not seem like much but I think–”

“It’s done now,” she said, her voice resolved though she didn’t feel it. “You need to go, Chad.” She looked at her watch. “I remember Susie’s itinerary and pretty soon she’s going to need help setting up for the rehearsal dinner tonight. She’s going to need you there. And you have to pick up your tux today.”

The look of hurt on his face became as solid as cement. This time the hurt that rebounded within her, she knew, was entirely of her own making. She had thought of this for so long… she had wanted it. But to her own shame she had only ever imagined what it would be like. Chad had his career and she knew that he wasn’t about to give that up. Not for anything.

“Right,” he said, his voice level with her own, though she could hear the hurt in his voice. Slowly he took off the fairy wings that had been on his back since this morning and passed them to her. “I’ll pick you up in time for the rehearsal dinner tonight.” He walked to the door and slowly opened it but before passing through it he turned to look at her.

He said nothing, though she could tell from the look on his face that something was still weighing heavily upon his mind. And without a word he passed through the door and into the hallway beyond.

Chad stood on a wooded pedestal and looked at himself in the mirror of old man Chalmers’ tuxedo rental. How he looked was the last thing on his mind. He had dressed almost mechanically, the movements of his hands automatic. He’d worn a tux for countless team and league functions before and contrary to the lies he’d told his sister, old man Chalmers had made him a suit with exact precision. He had actually been a little impressed by that, as no other tailor – who had been paid better – had been able to get his suit size down exactly on the first try.

But it’s not as comfortable as a pair of fairy wings, he thought to himself with a small tinge of regret. The very thought should have shocked him, he knew, but it didn’t. His mind kept coming back to that little girl he had seen sleeping in her bed last night. The same one that he played games with all morning… the thought of that sweet little girl kept coming up in his mind the same way a life-preserver floated on a rough tide.

Ellie…

The word stuck out in his mind like an iceberg. What he’d seen was only a little part of the mystery, but it seemed that there was a lot that he knew nothing about. And that mystery was prodding at his mind like it was attached to the tip of a drill bit. It kept swirling around and around in his brain, nearly causing him pain.

And Kelly, he supplemented.

Fuck it all, he just couldn’t figure her out. Last night had been… well, just as she had said, amazing. The passion… the warmth… the feeling of their bodies joined as they had been. It had felt like he had had a dose of some kind of a drug that he’d been without for years and had suddenly found again.

Kelly could have thrown him out any time she wanted. She had that right to and he knew it. But dammit, something had drawn him in and made him want to stay. It had to be Ellie. That sweet little girl who had laughed at the big guy that she had never met before as he donned a pair of fairy wings and a plastic tiara had been the biggest joy of her day.

Oddly, making that child happy stuck out in his mind even more than the sex did. But even so the thought of Kelly, letting her child grow up without a father? That didn’t seem like her. True, he hadn’t seen her or been aware of her movements or life events since the last time she had texted him and then outright ignored him. But still, that odd girl that he had known years before… she wouldn’t stand for raising a baby alone if she had the choice.

What is going on?

“Fuck,” he whispered.

“Pardon, sir?” asked old man Chalmers, distracting him from his thoughts.

He looked back down at the old man that was making a slight repair to a loose stitch at the hem of his pants. The old and wizened man with his bald head and wrinkled face looked up to him as if he had done something wrong… something that would give a rich man cause to disgrace this old man and his entire shop, ruining him.

“Nothing,” he said, giving the man a reassuring smile. “I was just thinking.”

“Anything I can help you with, sir?” the old man asked, his voice slightly nervous.

Chad shook his head. “No, that’s okay, but thank you for offering Mr. Chalmers.”

The old man continued to look tense, but he resumed his work.

Chad went back to his thoughts and they began with a question that he’d been asking himself ever since he had climbed into his truck as he’d left Kelly’s apartment.

Kelly… what are you hiding from me?

The answer was both obvious and still mysterious. The answer was of course, Ellie. He recalled Kelly’s parents… they didn’t stick out so greatly in his mind, but he did recall that they were at least decent people. But Kelly was living like she had not had anyone’s help for years… maybe even since before Ellie was born.

Why?

Kelly had refused to show Ellie to him and she had only shown him her daughter in an effort to get him to leave. What was so wrong about that? Why was Kelly so determined to keep Ellie a secret? Even though he had spent only a morning with the child it was clear that Kelly had done a great job with her. Why wouldn’t she want other people – like her best friend Susie, of all people – to know that?

That was the thing that stuck at him the most.

Kelly had a daughter. Alright, people have kids all the time, why not? It was plain enough to see that Ellie was the reason why Kelly had never left Holy Oaks. A kid changed everything; they changed plans, affected decisions, and clearly having Ellie had forced Kelly to make some drastic ones. Julliard… Susie… me…

The thought struck him as if he’d been brained with an anvil in a cartoon. And the simplicity of the realization was so overwhelming he couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought of it before.

Ellie… four years old…

The math fit. He knew that it was incredibly difficult to make a liar out of simple arithmetic and he knew that his figures were spot on. Ellie was four years old… meaning that she would have been born just about the time that Kelly had graduated high school.

Less than a year after her and me… oh, shit!

He closed his fists tightly, anger surging inside of him. Following that anger was rage. He felt a new fire within him, and it was one that was kindled by Kelly… but for the wrong reasons.

He’d felt drawn to Kelly… and to her daughter. And now he knew the reason why. He would piss on any DNA test and shit on the lies that Kelly had obviously told him. He knew the truth, beyond any doubt, and he needed no proof to know otherwise. It was like lightning had just struck his brain and sent his thoughts into a raging boil.

The night of Susie’s party… the night that they had been together for the first time and hadn’t been together since. It fit so perfectly that he felt as dumb as a bucket of dog shit for not having realized it sooner.

Why didn’t she tell me?

That was an answer that continued to elude him and he knew that there was only one person that could answer it. And it was a conversation that he was looking forward to having… but still dreading it somehow.

When old man Chalmers had finished he hastily redressed into his street clothes, paid the old tailor for his work, gathered up his tux, and hastily drove away from the shop. He felt anger growing within him and his first instinct was to drive right over to Kelly’s apartment and demand the truth from her.

It wasn’t a far drive from the shop; he could be there in ten minutes. And the business that weighed on his mind seemed far too pressing to be delayed even for even another second. He wanted answers, he wanted the truth, and damned if he wasn’t going to get it.

As he came to the first red light between him and Kelly’s apartment something caught his eye. It was simple and yet it seemed as divine a sign as the burning bush in the Old Testament.

There in the street ahead of him, walking in the crosswalk was a small little family, oblivious to him and his rage and yet they had a profound impact upon him. There was a woman, pushing a stroller with a light haired little boy sitting within it. The woman herself was in her thirties or so, her hair matching that of the infant she pushed about. Beside her there was a man, who held a slightly older child in his arms. It was a young girl with dark hair that he carried, and she resembled the man as much as the boy resembled his mother.

And together they walked right on by, the man and the woman laughing about something that their children were oblivious to. Their laughter was so kind-hearted that they even spared a moment to give each other a quick and tender kiss as they walked before reaching the opposite curve and walking right on by.

As if it had been waved away by a magic wand, his rage evaporated. The simple sight of a family… happy and normal… it was like some kind of a pain-numbing balm had just been applied to a serious wound.

It was self-loathing that stabbed at him rather than shame as he realized how disastrous his current plan would have been had he gone through with it. What the fuck was I thinking? Of course he couldn’t go to Kelly’s apartment and demand answers. He couldn’t… not in front of Ellie.

He could almost see the scene unfolding before his very eyes. He would come knocking at the door, angry and full of rage. And Ellie, sweet little Ellie, whom he had played hide and seek with… whom he had swallowed his pride and worn a princess’ tiara and fairy wings for… would see him angry and full of rage. Comparing that to the thought of her having only seen him, goofy and playful this morning…

The thought felt like a knife shoved into his temple.

The light turned green and without realizing it, he drove off, suddenly more calm than he had been thirty seconds before. Rather than driving in the direction of Kelly’s apartment, he changed lanes and headed for home.

That he needed the truth and that he would get it, he didn’t doubt. But not yet… he needed to think this out. This wasn’t some random play executed on the field when the circumstances dictated it. This was serious… this was life-altering serious. He needed to be smart about it.

He checked his watch. The rehearsal dinner was tonight. He’d already helped prepare for it and it would begin in just a few hours. Kelly was going to be his date… she would come down to meet him when he arrived to pick her up… she would put on a good show for the rehearsal dinner, he already knew that she could do that much. No! No, he couldn’t risk this on what Kelly might do. He had to wait until later. He had to wait until at least after the dinner tonight.

A new plan began to take shape in his mind.

Yes, he would get the truth. He just had to be patient… just for a little while longer.

Kelly’s mind had felt as weighted down as the anchor on a super tanker all day. She had carried the motions of getting ready for the rehearsal dinner, putting on one of her simplest dresses and even adding some makeup for effect. And though she thought she looked rather striking, she was dreading the evening. And the company that she would have to endure worried her more than anything other.

Susie… do you know what you’re doing to me?

She kept thinking of last night. She kept thinking of Chad and how right it had felt having him in her bed. She kept thinking of how good it felt to wake up and find that he had cooked breakfast for her – their – daughter. She couldn’t deny how wonderfully amazing it had been to watch the two of them play together. The bad boy that was suddenly reformed by his child into a more domestic role… she couldn’t get over it.

She felt like she was sweating bullets when Chad pulled up to the curb of her apartment building and she’d climbed in. He too had been wearing simple attire; a suit without a tie that made him look rather fetching. But what was even more fetching was the small smile on his face, like he held no grudge for having been readily dismissed from her home this afternoon.

“You look amazing,” he’d said as she had climbed in.

“Thanks,” she had replied, feeling a little awkward by the compliment, and more than a little guilty for the lies that had slipped over her mouth.

“How’s Ellie?” he’d asked.

She had swallowed a lump in her throat. “She’s fine. She was a little sad that you weren’t there when she woke up from her nap.” The words had felt like she was spitting up molten metal, they burned her so bad. They were true, but why they burned her at all was a reason that only she was aware of.

But to her relief, Chad spoke no more of it. She could sense that he was still slightly upset about something, likely her treatment of him last prior to their sex and this morning regarding she’d all but kicked him out of her apartment. But it turned out that politeness won out in him and he respected her desire to let the issue rest. It seemed, after all, that he had accepted the lies that she had told. That had made her feel even worse. And to boot she wasn’t looking forward to the events – and the other lies – that she would have to tell to get through tonight.

As it turned out, the rehearsal dinner wasn’t all bad.

She had gotten to talk with a few people that she hadn’t seen or talked to since high school and all of them seemed to have been under the impression that she had gone off to study music somewhere across the country. Some of them thought she had gone to some fancy college in Boston, others thought she’d gone away to California. And that had been flattering, until Susie corrected them, feeding the lie that she had told her best friend. Following that she learned that some of the girls had remained just as rooted here in Holy Oaks as she had been and hadn’t amounted to much.

Under normal circumstances, that would have made me feel better, she had thought listening to some of the other bridal party tell their stories.

Kelly, it turned out, was the focal point of their conversations as much as Susie was; two girls who got out of Holy Oaks and made something of their lives. They had praised her as being one of those people who had managed to break the shackles of their home town and gotten away from it. Their praises were false, she knew, and they had only managed to sink her spirits even lower. They all thought of her as something that she wasn’t… a false idol.

She writhed inside for it.

And Susie, true to her word, had insisted that she play something for them for the wedding and that tonight was a perfect night to practice. Kelly had thought to use not having brought her violin as an excuse for such a thing, but Susie – as vigilant a Hollywood mind as ever – had thought of that and gone out of her way to buy a violin and had brought it to the dinner for her to use. Francis, being somewhat familiar with classical pieces, had suggested a variety of them for her to play. And when her old friends, demanding to see what fancy lessons she had learned, had cornered her on the issue. She had finally caved in, her lies catching up with her at last.

Having found herself in the proverbial hard place – and with no excuse to get out of it – she picked one of the suggested pieces that Francis had named and played.

To her astonishment, the music had flowed freely from her bow arm and the violin tucked under her chin. She had chosen something soothing and calming at the start with both a powerful and soothing finish, one of her favorite pieces called “The Lark Ascending” by Vaughan Williams. It had been something that she had learned in her younger days and had learned to play it from memory. Though she hadn’t picked up a violin in years, her technique was flawless, the notes were perfect, and by the time she was finished nearly fifteen-minutes later she rewarded by an awe-inspired silence, followed closely by a round of tremendous applause.

It seemed that she hadn’t lost her touch. She actually felt quite good about it. Part of her even began to wonder if Ellie would enjoy the violin as much as she did. That might be something to ask her about, she thought.

As the evening progressed she did as she knew was expected of her. She laughed at jokes, told a few humorous anecdotes, made up stories about fun times she had at a music school that she never attended… there was no end to it.

All through the evening she played the respectful guest. It wasn’t until it was finally time to go home when her sense of dread became overwhelming. And that was only because she kept seeing Chad out of the corner of her eye throughout the night. Though he sat next to her, she could almost feel a strange heat brewing from within him. It had felt as though she were sitting next to a blast furnace, but only she was affected by the inferno building within.

She knew what some of that heat represented and why she was feeling it. She had the same feeling herself. It was a combination of anger and desire that he had to be feeling. Though she would have bet Touchy Turk’s weight in platinum that it was more anger than desire that he was feeling just now.

And when the dinner had finally concluded Chad, in a gentlemanly fashion, escorted her to his truck and even opened the door for her. She couldn’t escape the fact that she felt like she was being shown to the gallows to face her own execution. And when Chad climbed into the driver’s seat, he slammed the door with unusual fervor.

Oh, shit, she thought, suddenly feeling as though like she had just walked into a trap with a trick door that had just snapped shut.

Chad started his truck and as they drove off, she could hear his fingers tensing on the leather of the steering wheel. The leather seemed to be reacting to his rage, unable to withstand the stress that he was now putting upon it.

“Chad…?” she began, knowing that there was no point in pretending like she didn’t know that he was upset.

“You look gorgeous,” he replied, but the compliment was without its usual warmth. It was cold and unfeeling, almost as cold and unfeeling as she had been to him yesterday.

She couldn’t bring herself to say ‘thank you’. Instead, she folded her hands in her lap and almost looked down at her legs like a shamed child. He knows, she thought regretfully.

“I want you,” he said as he drove on, his foot pushing down on the gas pedal almost angrily. “I wanted you then… I wanted you last night… and I want you now.” Again, the words were meant to be endearing but she felt as if they would give her frost bite just hearing them. He blew an angry breath from his nostrils, reminding her of an angry bull about to charge and pawing the ground tauntingly.

“If you care for me at all… then… now… whatever, then I want the truth from you. And I promise that I won’t be angry.” His hands tensed, contradicting his words for his controlled anger. “Is Ellie mine?”

Kelly was quiet, feeling like she had just had her head stuffed into a vice and someone was twisting the jaws shut. A second vice was added to her chest and a third to her belly. All resolve to hide the truth was being squeezed out of her as if someone was pressing her body like grapes to make wine. But what was removed from her was the impurity of her body… the lies… the will to keep her life a secret… all of it seemed to be fleeing her like rats deserting a doomed ship.

“I can’t get her face out of my head, Kelly,” he said, his voice threatening to become sharp and hurtful but he managed to maintain his calm. “She looks just like you… but then it hit me. There was something familiar about her that I couldn’t quite recognize and then it hit me like a fucking meteorite. And I’m the dumb shit for not having realized it sooner.” He drew a sharp breath. “It was her eyes.” He looked at her and she was unable to keeping looking away from him, her head slowly turned to look and meet his gaze. “They’re mine.” He blew another angry burst of air from his nostrils. “So tell me the truth… she is mine, isn’t she?”

The jaws of the vices across her body clamped shut. Every last drop of resolve that had been in her body had been removed. Tears began to form in her eyes and that seemed proof enough for him as the hurt that seemed to wash across his face grew. But the silence that endured was proof enough for her that he wouldn’t let the silence stand as confirmation.

She summed up her courage, feeling her stomach tie into an uncomfortable knot. “Yes…,” she said softly, her voice less than a whisper, “she’s yours.” The silence that endured following the comment was so pronounced that she could almost hear Chad’s heart beating… or maybe it was her own.

He turned his attention forward, almost like it was poisonous just to look at her. The feeling made her feel alone and vulnerable. He shook his head with disbelief. “Why?”

The question was so simple and yet it carried tremendous weight. With all of her resolve already gone from her, she didn’t have it in her to lie any further. “Because… I wanted you to have a future.”

He didn’t interrupt. He just waited for her to speak her piece.

“You were going to places, Chad. College ball… the NFL… we all knew that you were going to make it. And you did. Having a baby, that changes everything, doesn’t it? Would you have stayed here to take care of her… of us? Could you have done that if you’d stayed? What would everyone else think? Chad Cinch, the star of the team, suddenly trades a successful career for the life of a family man? That doesn’t sound at all like you. How many girls did you fuck in school? How many have you fucked since then? You’re still in that life, Chad. And you obviously like it.”

The words felt good to say, but at the same time they felt like she was only poisoning herself. His attention remained fixated ahead. She knew that they were already nearing her apartment and with those few precious seconds left she knew she had to say one last thing… something that could affect her life forever yet again.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” she said, her voice breaking. “I just wanted you to have everything that meant something to you.”

He didn’t respond. He was silent until he pulled up to the door of her apartment building. He turned his head sideways to look at her. “You shouldn’t have made that decision without me. I think that I do have some say in it, don’t I?”

Now it was her turn to remain silent. No words came to mind that would ease the pain that she had obviously filled him with.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning for the wedding.”

The words were final… and curt. He’d said everything that he wanted to say and he’d heard everything he wanted to. Unable to endure his company a second longer she quickly scrambled out of the truck, but she paused when it came time to close the door.

She had felt this way once before. It wasn’t long after she had learned that she was pregnant… when her own parents had disowned her for her pregnancy… and she had felt like she was entirely alone. And the only person she could have thought to turn to was about to leave… to move on to bigger and greater things.

But she could see the hurt on his face. She hadn’t protected him… she had played on his ignorance. And if there was one thing that she knew, having tutored him before, she knew that Chad Cinch didn’t like to feel stupid.

She closed the door.

And she watched him as he slowly drove off into the night. She watched his tail lights as they were absorbed by the darkness. And though she knew she would see him tomorrow, it felt as if she would never see him again.

She sobbed openly, not caring if anyone saw her.

Chad put on his tuxedo with slowness that was not good for an NFL star to have. It took him ten minutes to tie one shoe, almost twice as long just to put his cummerbund and jacket on. Combing his hair had taken him just as long, though on a normal day it would have taken him thirty seconds.

Fuck.

When his look was complete he looked at himself in the full length mirror. His tux was fit and neat, he looked so unlike himself that it was almost comforting. None of his tattoos were visible, nor were any of his scars. He reminded himself of his high school days, before tattoos and scars were meaningful things. If he had not known better, he would have thought that he wasn’t Bad Chad. He would have thought that he was just Chad… a simple boy from Holy Oaks.

He stood looking at himself for a long time. Underneath this tuxedo he knew what he really was. A star athlete with a promising career… money… fame… women… all of the usual perks that came with being what he was.

That’s what I am… but it’s not who I am, he thought wryly.

He thought about that. What was he, really? Take away the fame and the fortune, what was he? He was just an asshole who bedded a different woman every time he literally went to town… somewhere else. He had never allowed any of those other women to attach themselves to him. He’d burned them, like he was pulling leaches or ticks from off his body. He’d even learned to check their phones and purses and make sure that they weren’t trying to get a digital memento of their trysts with him.

But he hadn’t done that with Kelly.

Shit, he’d smiled and posed for some of the pictures that she had taken of him with Ellie on her phone. And that he should try and erase them hadn’t even entered into his mind. Kelly could be posting them online right now… they would go viral… and then he would be the joke of the NFL. What would his teammates think? What would every sportscaster and commentator think? What would the other women he’d fucked think?

Fuck if I care, he thought easily. That was strange, too. It really was that simple. He didn’t care. One of his oldest rules was finally coming into play and for the better. He didn’t care what anyone would think if those pictures would surface. He knew the truth now: he had been playing with his daughter.

Ellie is my daughter.

The words struck home as if they had been put there with a sledge hammer and a driving spike. It had a more profound impact on him than being nominated for MVP. Anything that he had achieved in his sports career suddenly seemed worthless compared to that. No trophy he could have ever hoisted could have amounted to holding his own daughter in his arms. No title he could have ever won would have likened to being called ‘Daddy’. And nothing could have amounted to how good it had felt sleeping beside Kelly.

He looked at himself in the mirror again. He didn’t see Bad Chad Cinch staring back at him. He actually looked quite normal.

“You look so handsome,” Susie’s voice said.

He turned and saw his sister standing at the threshold of his room, watching him as he examined himself in the mirror. She wasn’t dressed yet, but the leisure garment she wore told him that she was prepared to get into her wedding gown at a moment’s notice. The ceremony was still two hours off and he’d seen her in her gown… there was no rush getting into it.

He smirked. “Thanks, Sissy.”

“You’re welcome, Stretch.”

Together they shared a chuckle as she entered into his room and did what all sisters would do when surveying the appearance of their brother. Her hands went to his bowtie and she adjusted it slightly. “There. All better now.”

If only things were all better now, he thought sadly. “Are you excited?”

She smirked anxiously. “Yes… I am. Are you?”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Huh?”

She smacked him across the shoulder in true sisterly fashion. “Don’t play dumb, Stretch. I saw you staring at Kelly last night.”

He felt a sliver of fear inch its way into his heart. “I wasn’t staring.”

“Yes, you were.” She shook her head at him, “Men… so clueless sometimes.”

His look of confusion maintained itself.

“I saw her watching you, too, out of the corner of her eye. You two were looking at each other.” She smiled. “I’ve seen that look too many times before now, Chad. I’ve seen it at dinners, business meetings, publicity functions… whatever.” She grew a wide smile on her face. “You two slept together and you don’t want anyone else to know.”

His heart felt like it was about to bottom out.

“That makes at least twice that you two have, uh, shall we say ‘taken the plunge’ now?” Susie said, her smile brightening.

He stood, dumbfounded. “Uh… I…”

“Oh, come on, Chad. I recognize two people who’ve fucked each other when I see it and when they try to hide it. It’s as much a part of my job as getting coffee every morning.” She put a thoughtful finger to her chin. “The first time was that night of my graduation party – and don’t deny it!” She poked him hard in the chest with her finger to accent her point. “The two of you disappeared for more than an hour and every girl at that party was looking for you… and I happened to notice that Kelly was missing too. It didn’t take much to figure out what you two were doing.”

“Er… uh… I…”

“Why do you think I asked her to be my maid of honor, stupid? It’s so that you two would have to talk to each other and maybe pick up where you left off. Why do you think I kept her number all of these years? It was pretty obvious. Way back when I had you, asking me how she was doing when you didn’t care about any of your other girls? That was my first clue. And there was her, feigning a casual interest in your life? That was clue number two. I’m not stupid, Chad. And then seeing how you two were watching each other last night? You obviously rekindled an old flame.” Susie crossed her arms, looking rather smug and satisfied with herself.

He stood there, his mouth slightly agape.

Susie put her hands on his face, much like she had when they were children and she was intent on embarrassing her big brother in some fashion. But they were alone here and her words were only for him. “Chad… stop being stupid. I know that Kelly didn’t go away to school. When Francis and I got engaged I happened to be in New York… I thought she was there at Julliard and I wanted to spring the news on her firsthand and surprise her. As it turned out I was surprised to find out that she had never been to Julliard… and I know she’s been lying to me all this time. That’s fine… I really have no problem with it. I’ve been lying to her since we were nineteen and pretending like I didn’t know that you and her had knocked boots.

“Now I don’t know why she didn’t go, I’m not crazy enough to dig that deep into her life… and some things have to remain personal. But I’m guessing it had to be a damn good reason why she never left.” She paused, her tone becoming more serious. “And I’m guessing that it had something to do with you.”

Chad couldn’t have been more surprised than if Susie had reached into his chest and pulled his heart out and shown it to him. He’d always known that his little sister was smarter than a lot of people… but he’d never thought that she could outsmart him. He had always thought that he’d been so careful.

“Now,” Susie said, stepping aside. “Go and get her.”

Though he felt like his I.Q. had just dropped sharply in the last twenty seconds, he knew that she wasn’t talking about just bringing Kelly here for the wedding.

He smirked and grabbed his keys off the dresser and kissed his sister on the cheek before running out the door with all of the speed that his pro-athlete legs could muster. He dodged staff and waiters as they moved about the house, making their final preparations.

He jumped into his truck and sped off. Everything that he had been brooding over… every negative thought… every lie that he had been trying to get past… it all seemed to go away. What was negative about the past was literally shit. He’d digested it and he was prepared to flush it into oblivion and never give it a second thought. All that really mattered now was the future. He had always thought that the future was something to be planned.

And he had planned his future out with simplicity. College. The NFL. Successful career. Retirement. It had been that simple. And it all had been only about himself. That was about to change.

When he pulled up to the building, he didn’t bother finding a proper parking space or even closing and locking his door. He just ran into the lobby and as if fate was on his side, some other person had just opened the secure lobby door. He caught the door like a one-handed interception and raced inside.

He didn’t bother with the elevator, he ran up the stairs taking them three at a time until he reached the fifth floor. A couple of quick turns and he found Kelly’s apartment. When he arrived there, he resisted the urge to bang on the door like an invading army at a castle.

This is big, he told himself. Do it right, goddamn it!

He spared a moment to collect his breath and compose himself, his tux becoming a little loose and his carefully prepared appearance a little slighted. When he prepared himself he knocked gently on the door. His heart began to race. It wasn’t anxiousness that was gripping him. It was something else… something better… it was certainty.

When the door opened, Kelly stood there. She was dressed in a scarlet red gown that he knew the rest of the bridal party would be wearing. Her shoulders were bare and her hair had been neatly braided, she wore elbow-length white gloves, a beautiful diamond necklace hung about her neck.

She was gorgeous.

“Hi,” she said, trying to sound cheery. “I was just–”

He didn’t give her a chance to finish. He rushed past the threshold and drew her into his arms. He put his mouth on hers and all the dullness… the grey feelings… the anger and resentment he’d felt… it evaporated like shards of ice on a hot iron skillet.

She didn’t resist him. Her hands in their silken gloves gently wrapped themselves around his neck. He sucked on her tongue and she moaned softly and delightedly as he did so.

When the kiss finally broke he looked at her. Her eyes were not brimming with tears, but with joy, acceptance, and delight.

“Ahem… ‘cough, cough’ said the uncomfortable young person,” came another voice.

He turned and looked to who had spoken, finding someone that he did not expect. A young teenage girl sat in the living room with Ellie sitting squarely in her lap. Chad felt a little embarrassed. He hadn’t even stopped to consider that someone else might be in the apartment as well.

“Oh, hi,” he said to the young teen. “I’m–”

“I know who you are,” the young girl said, her face breaking into a wide smile. “I’ve seen you play… and your picture is on the wall of fame at school.” She looked to Kelly and gave a small look of approval.

“Uh… this is Rachel,” Kelly said, “my babysitter.”

“Oh?” Chad said, not relinquishing his grip on her until just that moment. A thought stuck him as he did so. “Uh… I hate to do this to you,” he said, reaching for his wallet and pulling out every last bill that he had in it. He counted three hundred dollars and passed it to the teen. “But, I don’t think we’ll need your services today, but here’s something for your trouble.”

The young girl, Rachel, took the offered money and stared at it like she had never seen so much cash in her life.

“But can I ask one last favor from you?”

Rachel looked up at him eagerly. “Uh… sure.”

He indicated Ellie who was excited to see the goofy and playful stranger from the day before once again in her home. “Can you put Ellie in her favorite princess dress? The three of us,” he said, indicating Kelly, Ellie, and himself, “have someplace to go.”

He heard a barely audible gasp from Kelly behind him.

Rachel nodded. “Sure… whatever you say.” She stood up and hefted Ellie in her arms. “Come on, sweetie… we have to get you in your favorite princess dress. Which one should we put you in?”

Ellie squealed with delight as she and Rachel disappeared down the short hall to where Ellie’s room was.

Alone for the moment, he turned to Kelly who stood with a look that he imagined was just as dumbfounded as his had been when Susie had hit him with the truth. He stepped slowly to her and took her gloved hands in his.

When he spoke, he spoke softly, these words meant only for her. “I took a hard look at myself in the mirror this morning. I wasn’t that crazy about what I saw… and on the way over here I thought about what I – what we – could be.” He licked his lips with determination. “I liked that thought better than anything else.”

Kelly’s eyes seemed to brighten, but now she held her silence, listening to him with rapt attention.

He thought about telling her what Susie had told him… about knowing the truth. But he decided against it. Some things did have to remain personal and private. All he knew that he wanted to say was what concerned their future together.

“I have a future… and I see it with you and Ellie as part of it. You… Ellie… it took all of a second for me to realize that you two mean more to me than anything. And I want you both in my life from here on out. I’m not letting another minute go by without the both of you with me.”

Kelly remained silent and still, her gloved fingers closing tightly around his. “But… your career?”

He shook his head dismissively. “Other players have families, too. I’ll just be joining the club.” He smirked a little. “And to be honest, it’ll be a welcome relief.” He looked at her intently. “You sacrificed your own future to give our daughter a life… you let her play princess while disgusting men grab at your ass all day.” He put a hand on her soft cheek. “That stops now. You’re going to quit that shit job… we’ll stop at the diner on our way to the wedding, and if I have to tell your boss that I’m taking you away then I will.” He smiled. “I’m going to let our daughter become a real princess… and you’re going to study music. You want to go to school for it, I can help make it happen. You want a tutor to come to you so you don’t have leave Ellie alone… I can arrange that too. But you’re getting back what you sacrificed for our daughter… and I’ll sacrifice anything I have to, to keep you with me.”

Kelly looked as if she were about to break down crying, but he took her hands once again in her own, lending her his strength.

“This is a wedding we’re going to… it’s a family affair.” He stiffed his back. “And we’re going as a family.”

Kelly looked on at him, an excited gasp leaving her mouth. She swept into his arms again and their mouths joined.