CHAPTER ONE
Home Again
I did my hundredth crunch for the day while my mother’s morning announcement to Mars Station echoed from the speakers. I knew what she planned to tell the population. The time for us to leave had come. Sandler had been attacking us on the Station for years. We weren’t going to hold out much longer. The Council had decided to evacuate, to give Sandler the win.
My mother disagreed with the vote. At least publicly. Privately, my family and friends were working on a plan to win—but one requiring us to look like we lost. Sandler would let his guard down. Then we’d end his reign of terror. For now, we had to leave.
I didn’t care. One place was much the same as any other.
I pictured their faces as I worked out. Sterling—my super-soldier who didn’t know his own heart. Damian—wounded inside with a shield around his emotions to cover the way life had broken his heart. Judge—sweet, bouncy, brilliant, ethical to his very core. Cash—brilliant, his mind always working, his constant need to control the world, to keep everyone safe. Lewis—kindhearted, lonely, always questioning whether he deserved…anything.
My necklace, holding all five of my wedding rings, bounced while I finished my last sit-ups, slapping hard on my sweaty skin. I only let myself picture them three times a day. They still held my heart, and I didn’t want to listen to the endless, lonely drum of it beat out my loss. It was better to be numb.
I grabbed a towel and wiped off. My family had gone over everything the night before. The kids—my siblings—had been evacuated with my uncles Cooper and C.J. to a place the family had acquired years before on a planet far from here. No one outside of our nearest and dearest knew about it. Those of us left on the Station were going to help with the evacuation and then board our own shuttles. My mom had wanted me to leave earlier, but I’d scoffed. I could be of more help here. I needed to be busy.
For the last two years I’d kept myself endlessly moving. Time couldn’t catch me, grief couldn’t drown me, if I never let it get hold.
Two years and three weeks earlier and on the other side of the universe, Evander Corporation had forcibly taken my husbands from me. The corporation had used chips implanted in their necks to pull them, against their wills, into pods that then launched into space. The act had left me behind. I’d only been with them because an attack had shoved my ship through a black hole. I loved them—Cash, Lewis, Damian, Sterling and Judge—with the kind of abandon that comes with finally believing happiness was possible.
They’d loved me with similar devotion too.
I’d been bitten by an Infected—a Zombie—and would have died if my family hadn’t shown up to save me. I could hardly remember the experience, and each day that I’d lived since then seemed exactly the same as the ones before it. Or maybe it had to do with the six months in a medically induced coma while Uncle Dane used my husbands’ research to fix me. Maybe I had brain damage. Everyone kept insisting I was fixed.
Well, most of me.
I should be feeling something, anything. But nothing came. Just a deep hole of nothingness. This was always the way after I let myself think about my loves. I got into the shower, letting the sweat wash off my body. This was my last day in my room. I had no idea what the new place would be like.
I had no stuff to pack except my clothes.
I dried off and took a good look at the scar on my arm. The place where the Zombie had bitten me never healed. A large, ugly patch of dried skin. It was paler than the rest of me, which was difficult to fathom, but there it was. Once a week, my Uncle Dane injected with me a serum he’d made to stop the dead skin underneath from spreading. I’d have to do it forever. Sometimes it took fifty shots to get it right. Every Monday. Nine sharp. By the time he finished, I was usually silently crying. I couldn’t help it. Pain was pain. At least the physical kind.
I never fussed. I never objected.
I endured. That was life.
After dressing myself in a black skirt, black boots that made me look taller and fiercer, and a black turtleneck sweater to match, I checked the mirror to make sure I’d gotten the look I wanted. No one bothered the girl dressed in black. It matched my dark hair and eyes. I grabbed my backpack, swinging it over my shoulder. My clothes and the serum I needed were inside. Dane had given me three months’ worth in case, for some reason, we were separated. Nothing could be taken for granted anymore, not even us getting onto the same ship.
If I had to, I could inject myself.
My communicator beeped, and I answered. My mother was on the other line. I didn’t say hello. I knew what she wanted. “I’m on my way there now. I’ll be on the shuttle in an hour.”
“Just making sure you didn’t oversleep.”
I fingered one of my wedding rings around my neck. “I never sleep. Not possible to overdo it on two hours a night.”
She sighed. “I want to talk again when we get there. Wes will recreate the time device that moved you through the black hole, the one that didn’t allow the black hole to shoot you out in a different time. He’ll do it. We’ll take you. After we get set up in the new location.”
“I don’t know where they are, and every minute we’re here, their timeline hurtles forward. Time moves faster there. The second I arrived here, they were probably ten years older. Or more. I’ll see you on the shuttle. Be careful. Sandler wants you as much as the station. They want to break the Alexander reign.” That wasn’t exactly accurate. He’d tried to kill me and would still like to. If I died, it would destroy my mother. He wanted my death to break her. But we never discussed that. I wouldn’t be used. I think we both understood how far I was willing to go to make sure I was neither killed nor kidnapped. I would vanish, if I had to. I’d find somewhere to go where no one would ever find me again.
Not telling her didn’t mean she didn’t know. In the time I’d been away, my people had discovered a lot of things, including the Sandler’s objectives of universal domination. The Sandlers had a playbook, a step-by-step map to success. Each objective brought them closer to the next one. Capturing my mother was something to check off.
She refused to cower.
“Uncle Nolan and your father are flanking me. You be careful, too.”
No one hid as well as I did.
I disconnected our call and walked fast from my small apartment onto the main pathway, which would take me to the shuttle where my family waited. The only people left on the station were either leaving today or riding out the Sandler takeover, which was crazy. Most everyone else had fled a long time ago. Sandler wanted the station, and some people didn’t care who ran it. I hoped they weren’t all beheaded by the end of the day.
Two people nodded at me. They wouldn’t have before I’d gotten sucked through the black hole and come back having survived a Zombie bite. I’d gone from odd to exotic. I couldn’t for the life of me remember their names.
The only people whose opinion mattered to me were probably fifty or sixty years old on the other side of the universe. I hoped they had wives. I hoped they’d made lives. I knew they’d loved me. I could still feel them in my soul. I would always be married to them. But I didn’t wish my loneliness on their existences. Just the opposite. I wanted them to be happy.
And to remember me well.
Even if what I really wanted was to claw out their wives’ eyes.
I hurried. The sooner I got on the ship, the better. Time moved forward; it always did. This would be another phase in my life.
Maybe they hadn’t all remarried. Maybe some of them would miss me forever, too. Okay, maybe all of them had. I groaned. Diana Mallory, crazy and lonely…
The hallway was crowded, and I drifted into a slow-moving crowd. I didn’t have far to go. I forced myself to relax and put up with the inconvenience. There had been a time that I wouldn’t have cared, when I wasn’t running from a human enemy and time itself.
Now, anything that got in my way made me want to throw things, and I had, actually. When I’d first woken up back at home and not with my loves, I’d thrown anything and everything I could get my hands on. I’d hurled medical equipment, food, and my shoes at anyone stupid enough to get in my way. Then that had all passed, and left in its wake was the nothingness that had become me. The vast emptiness of my soul…
A movement caught my attention. I glanced left. There were a million things happening in the promenade. What made my mind stand up and pay attention when all I wanted to do was get this done? A man stood, leaning against one of the closed bakeries. He pulled his hoodie over his head and looked left and right. I stopped moving, and the person behind me oomphed into my behind. I said a quick sorry and ran ahead a bit to get a better look at the guy. It seemed as though my husbands appeared to me in the faces of other people a hundred times a week. It’s never them.
Despite my own family’s story about getting through the black hole, the likelihood my guys could pull it off while they were under the thumb of Evander was slim to none. It had taken my family eight years to reconnect. If the exact same thing were to happen, it was six years at least until I could see them, and even then the chances were zilch.
Still, the guy to the side seemed so damned familiar. He stepped toward the crowd, his hoodie falling back again.
It was … him. It … was Damian.
How was he here? My heart rate kicked up till it pounded so loudly it drowned out all other sounds. I ran. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t call his name. My boots struck loudly on the floor with every move I made. I slammed into someone, couldn’t even apologize, and grabbed Damian’s arm.
He whirled around, facing me. Recognition flooded his expression. I knew this man—love, wonder, awe, disbelief—they all played in his gaze until utter joy took their place. “Di-Diana.” His voice shook, and then his arms were around me.
“Diana.” He said again, tugging me close, so tightly I could hardly breathe. “We thought…when we docked today, everyone was leaving. We thought you were gone. Judge was working on some plans … but I told them I had to give it a last look. You’re here. You’re here.”
I breathed him in. He smelled … right. One of my guys. My love. Two years without him and we’d almost missed each other. “Damian. Damian. Damian.” I kept saying his name, almost unable to utter anything else. There were things … I had to think, I had to say. “I’d just thought—literally seconds ago—that I’d never see you again, not ever.” A sob threatened, and I shoved it away. I had to think, I had to make myself function through the most elation I’d ever experienced. “We-we have to get out of here now. It’s not safe. Where are the others? I don’t know what to do. I think I’m in shock.”
He nodded, his eyes narrowing. “The others are on Artemis. Come on. I’ve got you, Diana. I’ve got you.”
I grabbed my communicator and sent my mom a message. It was brief, unclear, but I hoped she got the gist that I had found one of my husbands and was getting on Artemis. I’d meet her on the planet. Or maybe I said nothing coherent. I didn’t know. Things were somehow both fast and slow; had the Station tilted?
Damian took my hand. His strong fingers held me tight, anchored me when things spun around us. “How did you get here?” I shouted to be heard over the crowd.
“Later.” He yelled back. “I-I can’t think. If you’re not safe, I’ll get you safe. Please.”
His words told me that I wasn’t alone in my brain shutting down to basic functions. Would it come back? I really didn’t know. I never could deny his please. We walked for what felt like forever but eventually made into the docking station. Artemis was three-quarters of the way down. Like they suddenly popped into existence, Sterling and Cash were talking outside of the ship, and I could hardly trust my own eyes. There they were. They were … there.
I…
Sterling saw me first, or maybe he heard my heartbeat—I didn’t know which. He leapt into a run and had his arms around me in seconds. I hung on. What was he saying? Sorry? What was he sorry for? I pressed my forehead to his chest. His heart beat and beat and beat. I could hear it. Didn’t that make it real? And then I was being passed into Cash’s waiting hug. He said some things too. Love. Yes, I loved him, too. But I couldn’t think.
“Cash.” I touched his face. He felt real, not a hallucination.
I’d dreamed this moment a million times. I wanted to be in it. I shook my head. Why couldn’t I focus?
Lewis and Judge were suddenly there too. They were all hugging me, all touching me. There was so much noise.
I breathed out. “Hi.”
“She’s going to faint.” Lewis’ voice pushed through. “Let’s give her some air.” His arm was around my waist. “Come inside. Sit down. Someone go get her water.”
I was soon on one of the couches from Orion. It didn’t belong on Artemis. It was supposed to be on the other side of the universe. But then again, so were my husbands. They must have brought furniture onto Artemis. Strange, small details made their way into my mind while large, important things couldn’t get through. A blanket was around me, water in my hand, and they were all snuggled near me, either on the couch or the floor next to it.
I held out my hand. “We have to get off this station. I need to think. I keep saying that because it’s true. Um, I’m so happy you’re here. You can’t know.” My voice shook. “I…”
Sterling kissed my cheek. He sat to my left. I leaned on Cash, who stroked my arm. Damian was right in front of me, kneeling down. Lewis and Judge were each touching my knees. They were so beautiful.
“Where do you want to go?” Sterling kissed my cheek again. “I’ll put in the coordinates.”
I had them memorized. My mother had insisted. Either I told him or Sterling had learned to read minds. He disappeared into the cockpit, likely to enter the designated coordinates and get us launched. Lewis took his place.
He touched my arm, over the dead skin. “How are you here? Please don’t get me wrong; this is what I hoped for. But you should be dead. I want to know what he did and … why your arm has this one spot of dead skin. Is it going to spread? Is it still healing? What is your prognosis?”
“Please don’t look at it. I mean, I guess you’re going to have to look at it. One of you will have to give me my injections until we get to where we’re going. Or I can do it. Don’t look. It’s gross.”
Cash actually kissed the yucky part of skin. “It’s not gross. You’re alive. Help us understand.”
“You’ll have to talk to Dane. He’s the one who did it. All I know is he used your research, and he could manage to fix all of me except right here. This has to be constantly managed, stopped from taking over again. Every Monday.”
Lewis stroked the spot. They were really preoccupied. “We can wound care. That’s no problem whatsoever.”
“It’s not gross.” Judge’s voice was rough, like he hadn’t used it in a while. He hadn’t spoken since I’d come on board. “It’s a miracle. A battle wound.”
The ship launched, jerking aft then port as the ship’s systems adjusted to the lack of any real gravitational pull. Artemis was old. Sometimes it took her a second to catch up to the speed we asked of her. She smelled exactly the same; there was always the scent of cleaning fluid in the air. I’d never been able to figure out why. It was like … home. After a second, Sterling came back to us, having put the ship on autopilot, which meant we must be clear of the station and relatively safe.
He lifted me into his arms so I could look him straight in the eyes. “We failed you. We all promised you’d never be alone on Orion and you’d never get hurt by the Infected. Both things happened. Please forgive me.”
“And me,” Judge added.
Three other repeats of the same request flew out of my husbands’ mouths.
I put my arms around Sterling‘s neck. “You didn’t do it on purpose. None of you could have predicted what would happen. There’s nothing to forgive. How are you here in two years? I had this idea that maybe I’d see you in two decades. You’d all be aged, so would I. Yet here you are looking like yourselves.”
Judge rose. “Do you remember the weird device that made the time differential in the cave?”
“Actually, I’ve seen its like many times since then. My Uncle Wes made it. It’s his invention.” I couldn’t make sense of how that exactly had happened, but there it was. I’d tried to throw it at his head once …
Judge made eye contact with Damian. “What?”
Damian added, “Explain.”
I knew where my guys must have hooked it into Artemis’ engine. I’d seen it on C.J.’s ship before he’d left. I walked to the engine room, all five of them on my tail, and bent down to look at the device. “Wes made one. As far as I know, there’s only the one. It let my uncles hook their ship to my time stream.” I touched the writing. “It can’t be, but … this is his handwriting.”
“It can be.” Judge exhaled loudly. “But time travel makes my frickin’ head hurt. Or at least it does today. Can we figure out this mystery another time?”
“Yes,” Cash added. “We’ve had two years to imagine this moment. You look … incredible. Alive. Beautiful. Bright-eyed, now that the shock has worn off.” He was right. My head had cleared. They were here. This was actually happening, and I could be … happy about it. I grinned at him, and he looked me up and down. “And wearing clothes that aren’t too big on you. Do you have a thing for black?”
“Black tells other people to leave me alone. Off limits.”
Lewis smirked. “It isn’t telling me to leave you alone.”
Heat surged inside of me. They all had that look in their eyes, and we were all together. What did they have in mind?
“We figure,” Lewis continued, “first you’re going to drink that water. While you do that, I’ll tell you what we have in mind for you. As we see it, you can handle two of us at once. There are five. Someone really has to watch the helm. We all know how to fly Artemis. We drew straws. Are you up for a little sharing? We’ve never done it, but we think we’ve worked it out.”
Heat passed through my body until it reddened my cheeks. I finished my water quickly. “I think I’ve missed all five of you for two years. If you want to share me—in the bed as well as not in it—then let’s give it a go.”
Lewis grinned. “That’s awesome.” He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I squealed, and Sterling patted my rear end. “Her room has the biggest bed.”
“See you in a bit.” Cash winked at me. “If you fall asleep, we’re going to wake you.”
Lewis dropped me on the bed while Sterling kicked closed the door. They both stood over me, and my mouth went dry. There were little things I’d forgotten about them, even though I wouldn’t have thought it possible.
Sterling had a freckle on the left side of his neck. I don’t think I’d ever tongued it. I really wanted to. Lewis’ stood with one foot slightly in front of the other, as though he might be ready to run at any time. Or in this case jump on me.
Lewis spoke first. “We considered figuring out how we could all be together, all five of us, with you. It might be a possibility someday. But not today. Too much, too soon. Ease into that. And we still all want our alone times. We talked about a lot of things. Not just sex. I think we’ve all been pretty much constantly discussing our love for you for two years. Do I seem frantic? I’m having a hard time really believing you’re here. I really love you.”
He was the most frantic I’d ever seen him, except when I’d been very sick. “I love you, too, so much. I’m not sure how to start this … I …”
Lewis’ mouth was on me. He kissed me hard. “We’ve got it. I promise.”
Sterling jumped on the bed, moving around behind me. His hand travelled the length of my spine above my shirt before he pulled the piece of clothing over my head and tossed it aside. “Not wearing a bra?”
“My breasts are tiny. Sometimes I don’t need one.”
Lewis groaned. “Now I’m going to be sporting an erection every day all day thinking of you braless.”
“Sweet baby.” Sterling nipped at my ear. “Are you wearing panties?”
I shook my head, and they both made growly noises in their throats. I could have explained that the skirt went to my calves, but they didn’t seem to want to discuss clothing and neither did I. Lewis tugged my skirt down my legs; my shoes were thrown wherever they’d discarded my shirt. I was naked, and they were completely dressed. That quickly changed.
And then before I could think, they were both all over me. Lewis was at my mouth, kissing me over and over again while behind me Sterling gripped my hips, kissing my neck, my shoulders. I moaned. Every nerve ending in my body had gone on high alert. This was what it was to be worshiped. Lewis’ eyes were hot—steaming—and his cock stood strong and erect against my stomach. I wanted it in me.
I grabbed onto Lewis’ neck to hold on while, with my other hand, I gripped Sterling’s legs. They were both erect and unashamedly wanting to have me at the same time.
“Stop thinking.” Sterling ordered. He pressed closer, grinding his cock against my rear. I moaned. And then it was more like I floated. Pleasure mixed with relief, making me giddy. Lewis pressed a finger inside of me, finding my clit. He stroked it, and my muscles clenched around him.
Sterling smacked my rear end gently. I moaned. “Think you missed us as much as we did you, pretty baby. I’m going to come fast. I knew I’d be worked up; I didn’t realize I’d be so close to losing control so fast.”
“Same thing.” Lewis’ voice was low. “Here’s what we’re going to do. Sterling is going to come inside of you, and assuming you’re willing, you’re going to take me in your mouth.”
My mouth watered. “I’m willing.”
“Good girl.” Sterling crooned in my ear.
We repositioned until I could take Lewis in my mouth and Sterling could enter me at the same time. The whole thing might have been awkward if it hadn’t been completely organic. I tasted Lewis. He was hot, throbbing, and ready for me. I didn’t care if he was too big. I wanted as much of him as I could get. Who needed to breathe?
I deep throated him. Lewis’ hips jerked off the bed as Sterling pressed inside of me. I moaned at the flavor of Lewis—salty and all male. My two husbands in the bed with me both liked to be in control; neither one of them cared to be vulnerable. Yet they both gave in to this moment like they trusted me to always take care of them. I would.
My pussy throbbed. Our dance of sucking and pressing became a movement all our own. Lewis gripped the bed, his head thrown back. As Sterling fucked me, he sounded desperate. His hand found my clit, and with a grunt he pressed on it. I came hard and long.
As I moaned, Lewis came into my mouth. He groaned his release while Sterling sighed his. I throbbed everywhere. My ears rang.
“Fuck.” Lewis scooted around, pulling me with him until I was between him and Sterling. He kissed my forehead. “Missed you, Doll. So much.” His voice shook.
“Too much. Love you. Love you,” Sterling whispered in my ear. “The way you let us love you, the way you love us back. I thought maybe I’d imagined how good it was. Some nights I convinced myself you weren’t real, you couldn’t be everything I remembered. You are. You’re here. You’re ours.”
I closed my eyes. “I love you two completely.”
They held me close between them. They were warm, real, and mine. The sound of Sterling’s heart beating lulled me to darkness. I fell asleep with two of my loves holding me tightly. Waking, I became aware of Lewis’ snore behind me. Sterling breathed evenly, his eyes closed. How long had I dozed for, and more importantly, what had woken me?
Cash stood at the end of the bed, his hand on my foot. “Told you I was going to wake you.” He whispered, but I could hear him. I grinned at him before scooting out of Lewis’ and Sterling’s embraces to get off the bed.
Sterling made a whining sigh but didn’t otherwise move, and Lewis continued to snore the sleep of the truly out of it.
Cash scooped me into his arms took me down the hall to another bedroom. They’d made the ship their own, and I loved it. Artemis should belong to them now. They’d travelled the universe in it, and it was as though they’d breathed life back into her.
Judge sprawled out on the center of the bed.
“Hi.” I grinned at him, and he smiled back.
“Have a nap, Di? Been waiting for you.”
His gaze was proprietary, and my heart rate kicked up. “I’m awake now.”
Cash kissed my neck. “Good.”