CHAPTER TWO
Changes
Judge scooted down the bed and lifted me into his arms. “I think she needs a shower to really make her alert.”
“Ooh, a shower. Sounds like a plan.” Cash rushed into the bathroom. A second later, Judge carried me in, following in Cash’s wake. The water already ran. It took me a moment to realize the bathroom was lit in candlelight.
I raised my eyes to meet Cash’s. “Why do I think you’ve been plotting this?”
“We’ve had years to plot and then plot again. So, yes, Judge and I thought getting you in the bathroom was what we wanted to do.”
My body came alive with his words. Any residual tiredness fled. They’d had years together on this ship and they’d made a plan. A romantic one ….
Judge stripped. As I watched him, it dawned on me he’d gained muscle in the years we’d been away. Gone was the skinny, lean frame, and in its place was a body honed from time spent in the weight room. Judge had become a physical force.
He was like a stranger.
I gulped. I’d gone to bed no problem with Lewis and Sterling. I’d not thought twice about it, and the reclaiming had been fantastic. Doubt crept through my haze. I hadn’t seen them in years. What if I really didn’t know them anymore? What if they were … different?
Judge narrowed his eyes. “What’s the matter, Di?”
I loved the nickname. Judge had always called me Di. It helped, somehow. Why had I suddenly plummeted into insecurity?
“I don’t know. Not really.”
He furrowed his brow. “Come here.”
I walked right into the spray. When I reached him, Judge tightened me up against him, holding me with all his new strength. I pressed my forehead down on his shoulder. He’d gotten bigger, but he was still Judge. He always knew when I needed a hug.
“This is a lot.” He kissed my cheeks. “We get it. You didn’t plan on this today. You woke up this morning and had no idea we would find you.”
I pulled back and extended my hand so Cash could join in the hug. He took it and did as I’d hoped, drawing close to us.
“I looked for you every day. Every single day.” I sucked in my breath. “I’d have looked forever and ever.”
Cash kissed the back of my neck. “Then why are you nervous?”
“Because Judge went and got all muscular in the last two years, and you’ve got a necklace around your neck I don’t recognize. What if you’ve all changed and don’t like me anymore?”
Cash snickered, and Judge whacked him on the arm. “Don’t laugh. She’s being serious. She’s very upset.”
Cash nodded, a serious expression on his face, but his eyes remained amused. “The necklace is actually related to you. While Judge was fixing Artemis to make the black hole trip, I found your tools and took a screw out of one of them. I wear it around my neck, all the time. I shower with it on. Even ones I take where I don’t have my clothes on.” He was right. We were all getting soaked and Cash was fully dressed. “And as for Judge, you’re right. I’ve never seen someone spend so much time working out. He took all the equipment from the pod and put it on this ship.”
“I needed something to do with myself. For as old as she is, Artemis is very well maintained. Didn’t take all my time or energy. I didn’t know if we’d get to you, Di. I ran a lot and lifted weights. It was that or throw myself against the walls.”
With a shaking hand, I tentatively touched one of his much more pronounced, six-pack ab muscles. “So you’re not suddenly completely different? Or maybe not suddenly. Maybe over the …”
Judge kissed me with such tenderness tears slipped from my eyes. “I’m yours. That’s all I want to be. You want me back skinny, and I’ll …”
“Shut up.” I kissed him back, and he smiled against my lips.
After the kiss, Cash undressed. His breathing quickened, and soon he bit down on my shoulder. I shuddered with pleasure.
We were all finally naked in the warm spray. “I remember this shower used to sometimes be glitchy with the hot water. We’ve got some right now.”
Judge groaned. “Week one in the black hole I got this fixed. You could have done it if you’d wanted to. Easy for you, Di.”
Cash watched me closely. “Boo, I want you to put your arms around Judge. You two can debate later about whether or not you should have fixed your own shower or asked him to do it.” Cash sucked in his breath. “Now.”
I loved when Cash ordered me around. I obeyed. Judge grinned at me, kissing me lightly on the lips.
“What we want to do, Boo, is show you how much we missed you and how much we are glad you are here.” Cash’s voice shook on the word missed. “We didn’t know if you’d be on the station, and then we were basically sure you weren’t. Or if you were dead or unconscious somewhere. I swear we would have torn the galaxy apart to find you. Whatever adjustments we have to make, we’ll all make. You’re our wife. I love you.” He sucked in his breath. “You’re going to let us pleasure you now. Got it?”
“Yes.” I would have done whatever they wanted. This was like coming home.
With the water pounding down on us, they made love to my body. Cash’s hands came around me, squeezing my breasts while Judge kissed me over and over. His breath quickened, and his cock pressed into my stomach. His hands roamed my sides. Behind me, Cash was also hard. I pressed back into him, and he moaned my name.
“Turn,” Cash instructed. Judge sighed, a pained look on his face for a second before he nodded. Sharing wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. I wrapped one arm around Judge’s neck after I did what Cash said. Cash held me up, his hands coming to my stomach.
Cash grinned before he dropped to his knees. His mouth was on me, and he closed his eyes. My knees gave out, and if Judge hadn’t been holding me, I’d have fallen splat on the shower floor.
Judge stroked my breasts as Cash’s smart tongue made love to my clit. Pleasure zapped up and down my spine.
“You like this, Di?” Judge whispered in my ear. “Cash getting you so hot, and me worshiping your body.”
I turned my head slightly so I could lightly bite at his chin. “More.”
“More?” His hips moved, bringing his hardness back against my ass. “I’d think about you every morning, dream of you at night, wake so erect I couldn’t stand until I stroked myself off thinking of you.”
I hissed in my breath. Judge’s voice was as much an aphrodisiac as anything ever. Cash found the right rhythm, and I shattered. There was no other word for me. All the tension, all the worry, all the hellish nights of silently wondering why I had been saved only to live the rest of my life without those I loved, exploded out of me.
I’d never cried during an orgasm before, but that was exactly what I did. Tears streamed down my face, and I couldn’t do a thing to stop them. Judge hauled me into his arms while Cash backed away from my body.
“Bed.” He wasn’t asking me.
“Yep.”
Cash grabbed three towels and, between the two of them, they dried us all off. I’d gone limp in Judge’s arms. Cash turned my chin to look at him.
I smiled through my finally slowing tears. “That was amazing.”
He snorted. “Haven’t gotten started yet.”
Cash wasn’t kidding. Once we were on the bed, they were all over me. Judge’s lips. Cash’s hands. I couldn’t tell where one of us began and the others ended. I’d kissed Cash’s chest and leaned back against Judge’s rapidly growing erection. He moaned in my ear.
I was wet, I was ready, and I needed them. Now.
Cash moved until he was centered right in front of my core. He kissed the end of my nose. “You ready for me?”
“You know I am.”
He nodded once. “Good.”
With one move, he was inside me, balls deep. He hissed his breath. “Boo, I’ve missed you so completely.”
“Me too.” I stroked the side of his face. “I missed you every second.”
Judge kissed the back of my neck. “Cash is going to start, and I am going to finish you off.” He finished off his words by massaging my ass.
Cash moved inside of me, in and out, in the way I’d come to expect from him before we’d been separated. He took control, and I was happy to let him do so. He moved us, he set the rhythm, and I was along for the ride.
Over and over, I lost track of everything but how I could breathe and if I even wanted to. Who needed air? I closed my eyes, burying my face against his shoulder. Judge murmured words behind me, hot words. We were all in a cocoon. The world couldn’t touch us as our moment moved on.
I came slowly this time. “Cash,” I whispered his name.
His breath sucked in, once, twice, and then he came, too. For a second, his face almost looked pained, but then it smoothed out. His eyes were closed, and he kissed my lips over and over.
Judge pulled me back, and Cash sighed. “Love you. He is going to make you feel amazing over and over.” He sounded groggy, and I smiled. A sleepy Cash was an adorable one.
My other husband was as hard as I’d ever seen him. I stroked his cock, from his tip to his balls. “Careful, Di. One more of those and I’m going to explode.”
He kissed my face, all over. “I’ve waited for you my whole life. Wasn’t going to lose you because of some black hole. You survived an Infected bite. How are you so amazing?”
How could I have been nervous around Judge, even for a second? He was hands down the sweetest man I’d ever known. “I don’t know what I did to inspire this kind of loyalty. I love you. I’ll never stop being grateful.”
The tip of his penis rubbed against my clit. I moaned. I was sensitive. After nothing but my own hand, imagining them for years, this much attention had my nerve endings on edge. It wasn’t going to take much.
His eyes were pleading. Judge wanted this as much as I did. “Can I climb on top?”
He nodded, fast. “Yes.”
I took his cock in my hand as I did as I’d asked. With one stroke, I brought him inside of me, arching my back to get him deeper.
He drew my hands into his. Leaning forward, I moved slowly. Up and down, riding his cock in such a way I could rub my very alert clit against his extremely erect cock.
My ears rang. I held back; I wanted to make this last for Judge. I wanted him to know he was special, that coming back to him meant something to me. I was so on the edge. I wasn’t sure I could speak my own name if asked to in that moment.
Judge’s hips jerked beneath me. “Shit, Di, I’m going to …”
“Yeah …” I pressed down on his penis, coming at the same time as he did. We both cried out. I lost his hands, my breasts hitting his chest as I fell forward.
He wrapped his arms around me while his cock continued to throb inside my body. We stayed that way for a long while. I didn’t want to move. Maybe ever again.
Cash rolled over, eventually hugging Judge and me in his embrace.
“Okay.” He whispered against our bodies. “Bed. Now.”
It didn’t take either of them very long to conk out. With my body stuck between the two of them, I was warm and cozy. They should have lulled me to sleep, but I was wide awake. There was still someone missing from my reunion. Damian piloted the ship. They’d drawn straws, but I highly suspected he’d somehow manipulated the results. He didn’t mind sharing his love with the others. His body and his time with me constituted a very different matter.
He’d come for me when it was his turn. Judge rolled closer, muttering my name but not opening his eyes. He smiled. I wondered if he still had a difficult time sleeping. Cash breathed deeply. My body slowly calmed down. I didn’t sleep much anymore. War and constant threats had left me jumpy, coupled with the agony of missing my men, which had me constantly numb. They weren’t great combinations for bedtime.
The Sandler Cartel had worse things they could do to me than shoving me through a black hole. I could end up in the Dark Worlds, sold to the highest bidder and used until I had nothing left to give.
Sandler didn’t care if a woman was married. He didn’t care if a woman said no. Among other equally disgusting things, Garrison Sandler sold women.
My family protected me as best they could from most things, but it didn’t help with the sleeping. Cash moved his hands on my hip. He nuzzled into my back. Judge’s smile fell, and he made a noise in his throat, which told me he was about to have one of his bad dreams. I stroked the side of his face. I’d actually missed this, comforting him in the night.
“Sshh. You’re okay.” His brow eased. My sweet Judge.
Cash kissed my shoulder. “Is that how you did it? All of these years I’ve been wondering how you got Judge to sleep through the night.”
His voice was barely a whisper, but I heard him. Rolling over a bit to face him, I grinned at Cash. “I thought you were asleep.”
“Dozing, but you’re not sleeping, and I’m very attuned to you at the moment.” He kissed my mouth, gently. “What’s keeping you awake? Am I snoring?”
I grinned. “I don’t sleep much. Things are very frightening right now. I slept before. That’s probably it for the night.”
He kissed my palm. “I have to tell you how sorry I am. The Infected were my responsibility. They got to you. I can’t forgive myself. I won’t ever.”
“Hey now, that whole thing was an accident. Blame me. I got bitten. I should have been paying better attention. I could have gotten away if I hadn’t been dumb. So please, let’s blame me.”
Cash shook his head. “No.”
“Cash …”
He sighed. “Have I told you about the time I took my mother to the zoo?”
“No.” I stroked his bottom lip with my forefinger. “I don’t know that story.”
“We had a day away from my father. You remember what I told you about him? He was awful to my mom, always yelling, totally narcissistic. Made us both miserable. Such a relief to have been away from the quasi-abuse. Sometimes I’m scared I have some of that inside of me.”
I shook my head—a little too roughly because Judge shifted like he’d been slightly disturbed. It took him a second, but he settled again.
I tried to whisper lower. “You’re not. Nothing like him.”
“I appreciate your faith in me, more than you can know. I’ll always try to make sure I’m not that person. Every day. Anyway, I took my mother to the zoo. Or she took me. I was never clear on exactly who took whom anywhere when it came to my mom.”
Cash had told me his mother had withered and died under the emotional abuse from his father. I could imagine Cash taking care of her, even when he was young.
“How old were you in this memory?” I loved to hear him talk, but I really wanted to be able to picture it.
“Seven.” He scrunched his nose. “Maybe eight.”
I could see him in my mind’s eye. Dark hair, dark eyes, maybe his eyebrows had already started to thicken. Had his face always been long, or did the shape change? His eyes would have taken up most of his face, huge, brown and wise beyond his years.
“She would have to have taken you, then, right?” I couldn’t imagine it the other way around. Of course, at seven I’d been living on Artemis, just coming out of the black hole. What did I know?
He smirked. “The driver took us. I think it was my idea to go. We wandered around from exhibit to exhibit looking at the animals. Most of them don’t live anywhere except zoos anymore. Other than work animals, most places on our side of the galaxy don’t let animals live if they’re in the way.”
“I’ve never been to a zoo. There wasn’t one on the Station. Other than there, I never lived anywhere but with you. I’ve never seen one. Are the animals in cages?”
He kissed me gently. “I forget you’ve not done a lot of stuff. You were so brave coming through the hole and living on your own, but you’ve really not travelled.”
“I guess we did spend time on Earth. If I went to a zoo, I don’t remember.” I couldn’t remember it. I just remembered my dad and my uncles constantly arguing with my grandfather. Then we left in the middle of the night.
“They are not in cages. Enclosures meant to look like their natural habitats. The unicorn in the unicorn space.”
I grabbed his arm, and his eyes widened. “Cash, unicorns are not real.”
“They are where I’m from.”
I could have squealed. “Really? I’m sorry. Go on.”
“My mom actually seemed happy that day. She liked the birds. She liked the animals with funny faces. I was so happy to be there with her, making her smile.”
I thought of my brothers. They all smiled all the time, even during the scary moments. They didn’t know any different.
“I can’t imagine her not smiling around you all the time.”
He shrugged, and I understood more from that movement than anything else. He’d been so helpless to his mom’s pain there had been nothing he could do about it, and he still carried it around.
“I promised her that day I’d take care of her. I promised her I’d make sure she was always happy. I … I obviously didn’t keep my promise to her. I didn’t to you either. I have a real history now of breaking my word to the women I love. It won’t happen again. I’ll die first.”
I placed my hand over his heart. “You have nothing to be blamed for. I am not upset with you. I’m not holding back any blame. In fact”—I took a deep breath—“this is tough to say. But when I was dying …”
His sucking in his breath paused me for a second, but I did continue. “When I was dying, I went to our spot. That’s where I wanted to be, so I could be close to you. Even though you weren’t there, you were. Like you were holding me.”
A tear slipped from his eye, and he brushed it away. “We can agree to disagree on this. Just know I will die before I let anything happen to this second chance.”
I cuddled against his chest. “Go to sleep, my love. I’ll try to as well so I don’t keep you awake.”
“I love you, too.”
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was being shaken gently to my feet. Damian smiled at me, and after I squirmed away from Cash and Judge, I wrapped my arms around him, giving the guys on the bed a quick look. Judge hadn’t stirred, and Cash was on his back, one arm over his head. He didn’t move when Damian took me.
“Hi,” he whispered in my ear. “Been waiting all night.”
I kissed his cheek. “Thanks for flying.”
“Thanks for not being dead.”