“Are you sure, sweetheart?”

It wasn’t the first time my mother had asked that question. In fact, I’d lost count around the dozenth time she’d asked me on the drive to the airport. Patrick was with us, but Brayden had been conveniently MIA all week, once I’d finally come out of my condo and started making plans to leave for Guatemala.

Reece had stayed through my heat, as promised, and I was relieved that he hadn’t tried to fight me on leaving. Maybe if I kept telling myself that, it would be true.

The truth was that in spite of myself and everything I claimed to stand for, I’d wanted him to fight for me. For us. I’d let myself believe the lie those moments in his arms had woven that maybe there wasn’t too much time and space and pain between us to close the distance. That maybe if he wasn’t the same person and neither was I, we could actually be something more. Together.

Instead, he’d helped me book my plane ticket and spent half an hour lecturing me on how not to look like a tourist. Like a six-foot-tall white guy with bright red hair wasn’t going to stand out wherever he went with the exception of a Scottish heritage festival, fanny pack or not.

He’d said he was coming to the airport to see me off, but I’d already checked in and it was twenty minutes till boarding call, but there was still no sign of him. At least that solved the problem of how I was going to explain his presence to mom and Patrick.

“I’m very sure,” I said, pulling her into my arms for the hundredth time. She was more upset about this trip than she’d been about the one I’d taken at sixteen. Maybe she just knew what I was trying to pretend like I didn’t. That this time, I was running from something so much worse than a bully. I was running from the man I loved, despite all the energy I’d expended trying to hate him. To keep him at a distance.

It looked like I had gotten my wish. Now, I had to live with it.

“I’ll call you as soon as the plane lands,” I promised, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “It’s only for a few months.”

The tears in her eyes made it clear she didn’t believe me. “Just be safe. And take lots of pictures. And call me whenever you can, and write. Both.”

“I will. You’re gonna be sick of me by the time I come back, alright?”

“Take care of yourself,” Patrick said, frowning at me in that brotherly way that said concern was as close as he felt safe coming to affection. “And you’d better not decide you’re staying there. I’m not dealing with Brayden by myself.”

I pulled him into a hug and he made a show of grudgingly returning it. “I love you,” I said, pulling away to see the shock on his face. If I couldn’t say it to Reece, I could at least say it to the people who already knew and deserved to hear the words once in a while. I’d already promised myself that things were going to be different when I got back. That I was going to start letting my family in a little more, even if I shut the rest of the world out.

“Love you, too,” he mumbled, his words barely intelligible.

I smiled and kissed my mother one last time before grabbing my suitcase when I heard them call my flight over the intercom. “That’s me, and I still haven’t found my gate.”

“We love you,” mom sobbed, leaning into Brayden’s side. He draped an arm around her shoulder and raised his hand to wave goodbye. As I watched them, for the first time since my father’s death, I knew they’d be okay. For the first time, I felt like our family was still intact, even if a huge part of it had broken off, and that it would stay that way as long as we had each other. For the first time, I realized that thing, that intangible sense of belonging and security and cooperation I’d felt all the times my dad had taken me to work and proudly introduced me as his son, had nothing to do with the company. It was family, and that wasn’t something Lionel Roman with all his billions could ever buy out.

I would give him one thing, though. He’d raised a good man, even if it had taken Reece a while to get there. As I stood in line and waited for the attendant at the desk to take my boarding pass, I told myself that more than just my relationship with my family was going to change when I got back. Whether it took three months or three years, I was going to find a way to release the anger and resentment the way I so badly wanted to believe I already had. When I got back, I was going to be able to look Reece in the eye, tell him that I forgave him and actually mean it. Maybe by then I’d even have the courage to tell him all the other things I needed to say.

“Ellis!”

That familiar voice sounded like home, right when I’d finally gotten up the nerve to walk away from it. I turned to see Reece running toward me in his socks with his blazer draped over his arm.

I stared in shock as he came to a stop in front of me. A few of my soon-to-be fellow passengers started whispering and I heard one woman ask, “Is that Reece Roman?”

“What are you doing?” I asked, looking down at his sagging slacks. “And where the hell is your belt?”

“I had to go through security,” he muttered, pulling them up. “I’m sorry. I would have been here sooner, but Anika had a meltdown and my car wouldn’t start.”

I’d never seen him even close to disheveled, and though I felt bad for him, I couldn’t help but find it a bit amusing. “You were in that much of a hurry just to say goodbye?”

“Yes,” he said, clearing his throat. “I mean, no. Not just goodbye. I…shit, where is it?” he muttered, feeling around in his pockets. “Hang on. Stay right here, I’ll be back,” he said before rushing back over to the security stand.

I cocked my head and watched along with the twenty other passengers waiting in line as Reece flailed his hands and seemed to be arguing with the guy at the security checkpoint. The man reached into a plastic bin and pulled out a small black box to hand to Reece, along with his shoes and belt. He was still carrying the latter as he ran back over to me.

“Okay,” he said, breathless. “This was supposed to be a lot more of a romantic gesture, but I can’t let you get on that plane without telling you the truth.”

“Romantic gesture?” I asked warily, eyeing the box in his hand. “What is that?”

When he opened it, I realized it was exactly what I’d been too afraid to guess. A gold band with a few diamond inlays sat on top of the cushion inside of the box. It was simple, but I recognized the insignia on the box as the same manufacturer who’d made my watch, and if their engagement line was half as pricey as their timepieces, it had cost a fortune. “You’re joking.” It was a plea. Everyone was staring at us now. “God help me, Reece, if you get down on one knee in front of all these people, I’ll kick you in the stomach.”

“I’m not proposing,” he said quickly. “I wouldn’t do that to you, not here, not now. I just wanted to give you something to consider while you’re gone,” he said, closing the box before placing it in my hands. “I know it’s selfish, and I’ve been trying to talk myself out of it all night, but I can’t let you leave without knowing what you mean to me.”

“I’m getting on the plane, Reece.” I spoke slowly and deliberately, trying to reaffirm my resolve as much as to inform him.

“I know that. And I wouldn’t try to stop you,” he said, his hands still closed around mine. “This is what you need to do right now. I’ve been living for myself all this time, and you deserve a chance to do the same. You deserve the time and space to figure out what it is that you want out of life. I just want you to know that when you come back, if you decide that there’s even a chance you could ever see me as part of that life, I’ll play whatever role you want me to. Your mate, your friend, the guy you call to get you through a heat or just to fix your fucking air conditioner. Whatever you want, whatever you need, I’ll be it. I’ll do anything to make you happy, Ellis, and if walking away forever is what it takes, so be it. I just need you to know that.”

I stared at him in shock, convinced that this was all some bizarre dream born of my mild flight anxiety. The certainty of his touch reassured me this was all real, and that he really was saying the words I’d always longed to hear. My heart should have soared, but the weight of all the grief I’d tried to deny for so long sent it plummeting down. Why couldn’t he have shown up at the airport and said these words fifteen years ago?

The box felt even heavier in my hand and I pulled away, deciding at length to tuck it into my pocket. Until that moment, I’d been looking for ways to talk myself out of getting on that plane and I’d hoped that he would show up and give me a reason. Now that he was, I knew I had to leave.

“I appreciate that,” I said, clearing my throat. “And I’ll think about it. I will, but I have to do this. You get that, right?”

He swallowed hard and nodded. “Of course. Yes, of course I do.” He gave me a smile that didn’t reach his eyes and for a second, I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he took my hand again and gave it a tight squeeze. There was more affection in that gesture than all the breathless kisses we’d shared in the throes of heat and passion. “Enjoy your trip, Ellis. I hope it’s everything you want it to be.”

I forced myself to smile as they made the final boarding call. “Thanks. Just do me a favor and give me a heads up if your dad has any plans on buying the charity I’m working for, alright?”

He laughed, slipping his hands into his pockets. “You have my word.”

I turned and walked toward my gate. I didn’t let myself check to see if he was still there before I walked through the tunnel and boarded my flight. I knew if I looked back at all, I’d stay.