I waited at the gate of the international airport a month ahead of my original return flight date, fiddling with my luggage tags. I had mixed feelings about returning home. On the one hand, I was ready. No matter how hard I tried or how much good work we’d done, I just didn’t have the same sense of freedom the trip had given me the first time around. Maybe it was because this time, I knew I was running away and that I’d already made up my mind about what came next, whether I wanted to admit it or not.

I still wasn’t sure if I’d succeeded in finding myself, but I had gained at least a nine-month reason to stay sober, regardless of what Reece’s reaction ended up being. Part of me was sure he’d be happy, but in a way, that was more intimidating than the alternative.

He’d been stuck with me before, the moment he’d imprinted. A baby was just another form of obligation, and I hadn’t talked to him in months. What if he’d realized during my absence that he really was better off without me? That he’d been just fine for fourteen years and he would be fine for another fourteen without me?

I already knew how I was going to tell him, and I spent the long plane ride rehearsing it to counteract my nerves. We still hadn’t talked, but I had sent him an email to let him know I’d be in that night and to ask if he wanted to meet somewhere the following morning to discuss things. When I checked my phone close to landing, he still hadn’t replied, so who knew where his head was at?

As I spilled out of the gate with the other passengers and headed down the escalator to wait for Patrick, I couldn’t help but have second thoughts. Maybe I shouldn’t have contacted Reece at all. My email sounded more desperate each time I read it back, even though it was only a single line. I had all but convinced myself that he was probably going to go dark on me when I saw him waiting at the bottom of the escalator with a bouquet of roses in his hand.

The shock was almost surreal, and I still hadn’t recovered by the time I reached the bottom, but there were people behind me, so I followed him a short distance to the side. “What the hell?”

He looked down at the flowers, frowning in concern. “Are the roses too much?”

“I… what are you even doing here? Patrick was coming to pick me up.”

“Yeah, I uh, paid him off.”

I blinked. “Why?”

“I got your email and I couldn’t wait to see you,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. “I wanted to get you something better, but I was in Sacramento and I only had time to stop at the gas station, so —“

“Wait. You drove up from Sacramento just to pick me up at the airport?”

“Yes…?”

I sighed. Maybe we had more in common than I’d initially thought. We both overreacted and overthought things similarly enough. “I have to pick up my luggage from claims, but if you have time, maybe we could go somewhere to talk?”

“I have all the time in the world,” he said, following me over to the baggage carousel. He reached for my suitcase before I had the chance, and while I usually would have griped about it, I thanked him instead and he stared at me like I’d grown a second head.

“What?”

“You’re not going to yell at me for picking up your bag?”

“Not as long as you don’t drop it. I’ve got souvenirs in there, and they’re breakable.”

He shrugged and led me out to his car in the garage. “How was your flight?”

“Long and there was a baby screaming the entire time.”

“Ah. That must have driven you crazy.”

“Nah. I’m sure his ears hurt worse than mine did. The guy behind me listening to his music without headphones got the bird, though.”

He laughed, loading my luggage into the back. “I’m glad you’re home.” He hesitated. “Why are you home, anyway? You weren’t due back for another month.”

I chewed my bottom lip and slipped into the car, deciding I didn’t want to tell him in the middle of an airport parking garage. “How about I explain over dinner? I’m starving.”

“Of course.” A few minutes later, we were on the road and I found myself fiddling with the radio for something else to focus on besides my nausea. I’d never forgive myself if I threw up on his upholstery.

“Are you alright?” he asked worriedly. “You seem a little off.”

“I’ll be fine. Just jet lagged.”

He nodded in understanding. “What are you in the mood for?”

I pursed my lips to stop myself from giving the first answer that came to mind. “Anything other than Italian.” The smell of cheese turned my stomach in an instant.

A bit later, we were settled in a booth at a French restaurant, and while I would have found the smells heavenly under any other circumstances, it was only slightly preferable to a cheddar factory. I took a bite of bread to calm my stomach and found Reece watching me worriedly as I sipped my seltzer.

“You sure you don’t want anything to drink?”

“No, I decided to give that up along with everything else.” At least that was the truth. Not that I could drink anymore for different reasons.

“Have I told you how glad I am to have you back?” he asked wistfully, gazing at me from across the table.

I couldn’t help but smile. “Only about thirty times.”

“You’re probably going to hear it another thirty before the evening’s through,” he admitted. “Now, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

I took a deep breath and reminded myself that just because he was being sweet and, by all indications, he’d felt my absence as surely as I’d felt his, that didn’t mean he was going to take my confession as good news. We’d never talked about kids and he already had one in grade school. For all I knew, he had no interest in having any more.

“I still wasn’t planning on coming back for another month, but I got some news and they thought it would be better if I saw a doctor over here.” I could see the worry on his face turning to panic as I spoke and realized I was just tripping over myself.

“A doctor? Are you sick?”

“No. No, it’s nothing like that, I just…um, I’m pregnant.”

He stared at me for an eternity, unblinking and his expression unaltered. He finally choked out, “Pregnant?”

“Yeah… Look, this was as much of a surprise to me as it was to you, and I understand if it takes some time for you to process. I don’t expect you to give me an answer right away.”

“An answer?” He frowned. Realization dawned in his eyes and he swallowed audibly. “Oh. You haven’t decided if you’re going to —“

“I’m going to have the baby,” I said firmly, not wanting there to be any question about the matter. “And I’ve given it a lot of thought, but I’m going to keep it. I don’t know if I’m going to be a good father, and I know my breakdown before I left is every indication that I won’t be, but I’m going to try. I’m not some teenager who can’t take care of himself. I have the means to handle it, and what I don’t know, I’ll figure out. If you don’t want this, I’m not going to pressure you or anything, and I’m sure there’s some agreement I can sign to that effect, but I have my mom and Patrick. I’ll be okay.”

“Agreement? Ellis, slow down,” he pleaded, reaching across the table for my hand. “I don’t know what gave you the idea that I’d want you to give this baby up, or think you’d be anything less than an incredible father, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m still in shock, but you need to understand one thing. I’m in. I’m all in, not just for you, but for this. For our baby.” His voice softened and his gaze filled with awe, like he was seeing something in me for the first time. The moment I’d seen him standing there waiting for me at the airport, he’d looked at me like he couldn’t believe I was there any more than I could understand why he was, but this was different still. “I’m shocked, but not because I don’t want this. I just never imagined I’d get the chance.”

It took me a moment to remember how to speak. When I did, my voice was hoarse with emotion. “I just…it’s been so long since we talked.”

“That was all you,” he reminded me gently. “You needed space, and it’s been hell, but I wanted to give it to you.”

“I know.” I wet my lips, still reeling from relief that he wasn’t angry. I hadn’t realized just how afraid I’d been until I got the words out and realized he was anything but. “I needed it, for a while. You were right, I needed to get my bearings and remember what’s really important to me.”

“I’m glad you did.” Reece took my hand and held my gaze. “And did you have a chance to give any thought to the question I asked before you left?”

“You mean the question you didn’t ask?” I teased, taking the ring out of my pocket. I looked down at it thoughtfully, realizing how familiar the feeling of holding it in my palm had become. “I have, actually.”

“What’s the verdict?” He laughed lightly, but I could tell he was nervous. At one point, the idea of turning the tables in our relationship, knowing he finally wanted me the way I’d wanted him so long ago, would have been my idea of the perfect revenge. Now, the idea of leaving him wondering and waiting the way he’d left me for so long felt hollow. Petty. I loved him more than I’d ever hated him, and if I had accomplished one goal in my shortened trip, it was that I’d finally laid the bitterness in my heart toward him to rest.

“First things first, I need to tell you that I do forgive you. I know I said I did before, and I thought it was the truth, but it took leaving to realize just how much I was holding on,” I admitted.

He raised my hand and brushed his lips against the back of it. “Thank you, Ellis.”

“I mean it,” I said firmly. “We can’t keep living in the past, and that goes for both of us. You can’t blame yourself for everything that happened. I don’t,” I admitted. “If this is going to go anywhere between us, you have to forgive yourself, too.”

“If?” he asked warily. “I take it that means I shouldn’t get down on one knee right now.”

I smiled a little. “I love you, Reece. I never stopped.”

“I love you, too,” he said, searching my gaze. “But…?”

“But,” I continued, “We’ve still got a lot of ground to cover as friends, which is something we’ve never been. Whether it turns into anything more or not, we’re going to have to get good at being friends if we’re going to hack co-parenting together.”

He sighed, but I could tell he was considering my words. “Yeah. Yeah, of course you’re right.”

“That’s something you’re willing to try?” I asked, afraid to get my hopes up.

“Of course it is. Ellis, I know it took me fourteen years too long to get my shit together, but now that I have a chance at getting this right? I’m not gonna screw it up again. If I have to wait forever, and friends is all you ever want to be, it’s still a hell of a lot more than I deserve.”

I gave him a look and realized I still hadn’t let go of his hand, nor he mine. “That’s what I’m talking about. This is a fresh start for both of us. It has to be.”

He smiled softly and my resolve to start things off on a platonic note faltered. “Deal. So, am I allowed to ask for a compromise?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“Knowing you were halfway across the world for two months was bad, but knowing you’re halfway across town carrying my baby and wondering if something’s wrong is going to drive me out of my damn mind.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. He had a point, and I couldn’t fault him for being an Alpha. I liked the idea of being around him all the time far more than I should. “What are you suggesting?”

“Move in with me. Let me take care of you and the baby the way you deserve.”

I bit my lip. “What about Anika? That’s a bit adjustment for her to make.”

“All she needs to know for now is that you’re a friend who’s staying with us. We’ll play it by ear from there.”

“If you’re sure. I just don’t want to be the person who comes in and turns her world upside down, you know? If this is going to work, Anika and this baby have to come before what we want.”

“You’re right,” he said softly, taking my hand. “And they will. But this is going to work, I promise you that.”

I smiled. There was so much strength in his words. Strength I hadn’t found in myself lately. Maybe it was time to swallow my pride and lean on someone else for a change.

Maybe it was time to trust him.