Six Months Later

As my mate’s pregnancy became more obvious, I found myself fretting over him the way I always had with Janie, even though I could tell it drove him insane. For the first few months after he’d moved in, I’d been able to rein in my instincts, but now, I was hopeless. We were seated around the table with the rest of the Roman family and Dolores in attendance for the first time since the baby shower, and every time he moved, I shot to my feet to help him up.

Halfway through dinner, he’d given up and just started asking me for whatever he wanted, which I was more than happy with. At least Anika thought it was hilarious. She was still too young to understand that having a baby together didn’t automatically make Ellis and I married, and I wasn’t in any hurry to explain why we were rebelling against tradition, but her excitement over the news that she was going to have a baby brother seemed to have eclipsed any confusion.

For years, I’d worried that if I ever did take another mate, Anika would see them as a threat trying to replace her mother. Maybe it was the fact that she’d gotten to know Ellis and come to accept him as part of the family before we’d told her about the baby, or maybe it was just the fact that no one could be around Ellis for long without coming to love him, but the bond they shared had eased my biggest concern in life.

I watched as he reached over to cut up her steak and smiled as he listened to her latest story about school. For someone who claimed to be terrible with children, he’d won her heart pretty easily, not to mention the rest of my family.

Even my father had taken me aside earlier to announce his approval of my mate. I wasn’t as hopeful that Ellis would return the sentiment anytime soon, but he was polite if distant from the man at our many family gatherings. It helped that Luis and Ellis had gotten close over the last few months, which came as a surprise to me, since the other omega was far more artistic than business-minded. Ellis had been helping him format a grant proposal for an art charity he’d been trying to get off the ground, and I knew he appreciated the opportunity to work on something that utilized his skills.

As much as I loved having him at home, and knowing where he’d be when I got back from work, I also knew these days were coming to an end once the baby was old enough for him to start working again. I’d already promised myself that whatever he chose to do, I’d be supportive. He’d given more than enough to me.

Wren and Jayce’s infant son started crying from his bassinet next to the table and the omega started to stand. “He’s probably ready for his bottle.”

“I’ve got it,” Jayce said, leaning over to gather the screaming bundle up in his arms. “Hey, kiddo,” he said, melting as he took the bottle from his mate’s hand and started feeding Mark. The infant quieted down immediately. “There you go, drink up. You gotta get big and strong if you’re gonna be a linebacker one day.”

Wren rolled his eyes. “You forget that with my genes in the mix, he’s probably going to end up being a computer programmer.”

“Well, that’s okay, too,” Jayce cooed. “Just as long as he’s not a Titans fan.”

“You should know it’s no use by now, Wren. I had to talk him out of replacing the hospital blanket with a team fleece,” dad said with a snort.

“Oh, like you’re much better,” Luis teased. “You asked me if I could time Mia’s birth to the day your team won the Superbowl.”

Dad coughed, taking a sip of his wine. “I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask.”

Everyone laughed, and I found myself listening in as Luis and Ellis got to talking about his recent birth. My youngest sister was sleeping soundly in Luis’ arms, and unlike her older sister, she was usually quiet at the dinner table.

“So,” said Ellis, “You had the caesarian, right?”

“With Mia. They recommended it last time, and I’m glad I took them up on it.”

Ellis gulped. “Maybe I’ll reconsider.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” Luis assured him, touching his arm. “It’s always terrifying the first time, but once you hold him in your arms, you’ll forget all about it.”

Ellis looked down at his rounded belly and smiled nervously. Seeing him like this was driving me crazy in all the best ways, but it made it even harder to resist the drive to mark him. I had to remind myself on a daily basis that it had to go at his speed. When he was ready for me to mark him, I would and not a moment sooner.

He’d waited long enough for me to get my act together, the least I could do was give him time to make such a permanent decision.

Wren and Jayce were the first to leave after dinner, since Harriet had an art fair presentation early in the morning. Gray and Dylan followed soon after, while Dolores, dad and Luis remained, engaged in a lively debate about the best crib to put in the baby’s nursery.

Anika had taken to Dolores just as quickly as she had to Ellis, and while she was busy telling the older omega all about her newest homework assignment, I cleared the dishes with dad’s help.

“Any day now, huh?” he asked, smiling at me as he dunked a stack of plates into the sink. Despite being the richest family in town, he and mom had always insisted on making us manage the household chores ourselves because it built character. It was a parenting habit I’d passed on to Anika, even though it was tempting to treat her like the princess she was in my eyes and give her a staff of servants to do her bidding. I decided it was a good thing that I’d resisted that impulse, since I was sure Ellis would prefer a more down-to-earth approach to parenting as well.

“That’s what the doctor says.”

“He’s sturdy, and not just for an omega. He’ll be just fine,” he said, watching me closely. There was never any hiding what I was thinking with him, even if he rarely pressed me on it. “But after what happened with Janie, I’d understand if you were nervous.”

“I am,” I admitted. Terrified was a better word. Losing Janie was something I’d barely survived, and I knew I wouldn’t if anything happened to Ellis. That kind of grief was something you never fully understood until you experienced it, and knowing what it was like made me all the more apprehensive. “But Ellis is already scared out of his mind, so I have to keep it together.”

He nodded in understanding. “If there’s anything we can do to help, just let us know. I love you both, you know.” He smiled. “Even if I can tell your mate is still a bit gunshy around me.”

“Can you blame him?” I snorted. “You’re kind of his arch-nemesis.”

Dad chuckled. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to him about, but I thought I’d come to you first.”

“What’s that?”

“I know he doesn’t want to take over operations at Stover again, and he was right about his replacement. He’s not someone I would have hired, but he fits into the corporate culture perfectly. So perfectly, in fact, that I’d like to ask Ellis to come on board as my hiring consultant. When he’s ready, of course.”

“Consultant? For what, Stover?”

“For Roman Enterprises,” he replied. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that everyone has their gifts and weaknesses. People have always been the latter for me, and I’m not too prideful to admit it. I could use someone with his instincts, and I think it would be good to have his unique perspective on personnel issues to challenge me.”

“No offense, but I think taking a job at Roman Enterprises is just about the last thing he’d want to do.”

“Maybe so, but I’m open to making some changes if it means having a fresh perspective around. Will you talk to him?”

“Oh, no. Not again. If you want to hire him, I won’t stand in your way, but you’re gonna have to have the conversation with him yourself.”

He sighed. “Fair enough. I’ll talk to him after dinner.”

“Um, Reece?”

I turned around, nearly dropping the plate in my hands when I heard the worried tone in my mate’s voice. Ellis was standing in the doorway with his left hand propped against the wall to support himself and his right on his stomach. I rushed to his side, my heart lurching in terror. It was only a few days before his due date, but the fact that things had escalated so quickly when Janie had gone into labor had me on edge already.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but I think I’m going into labor.”

Dad pulled out a chair and I helped Ellis into it. “Sharp or dull pains?”

“A little of both,” Ellis said, wincing.

“How often?”

“Um. On and off throughout dinner.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked, reaching for my phone to call the hospital.

“The doctor said it was normal to feel some discomfort here and there. It didn’t get bad until the last few minutes.”

“Shit,” I muttered when the call went through to the hospital’s voicemail system. “I can’t get the doctor.”

“I’ll take care of it,” my dad said, holding his hand out. I passed him the phone and he hung up, dialing a different number. “There’s always someone in triage, and they can transfer you over. Go pull the car up, I’ll stay with him.”

I looked over at Ellis. “Are you alright for a couple of minutes?”

“Yeah,” he said, still holding his stomach. “Just hurry.”

I’d never run faster in my life, stopping only at the dining room table when I saw Dolores, who’d just come back into the room with Anika, who’d been showing her the “dragon” who now lived by our pond. “It’s Ellis,” I blurted out, fumbling through my jacket pockets for the keys. “He’s in labor, dad’s calling the hospital.”

“Oh!” Dolores cried, her eyes widening. “Anika, come on, sweetheart. Let’s go see if Ellis needs anything.”

I turned and rushed outside, pulling the car up and making sure the overnight bag we’d packed a week ago was still in the trunk. By the time I made it back into the kitchen, Dolores was holding Ellis’ hand and coaching through his next deep breath. I’d seen him bring a hammer down on his thumb without blinking, so I knew he was suffering.

“That’s six minutes apart,” dad announced. “Definitely time to get him to the hospital. Reece?” he asked, offering an arm to help my very pregnant mate to his feet.

I lunged to take Ellis’ other arm and nodded. “Already at the curb. The hospital?”

“They’re preparing a room as we speak. Luis, I’m going to drive them.”

“I’ll watch Anika,” the omega promised, smiling down at my daughter. “We’ll go up to the hospital a little later, okay, sweetheart?”

“I wanna go,” she said, her eyes were wide with worry as they settled on Ellis. “Mommy didn’t come back from the hospital when she had me.”

Ellis stopped and leaned down to stroke her hair while I was still standing there, shellshocked by Anika’s words. She was only voicing the fear that had plagued me for the last month. “Hey,” he said gently, cupping her face in his hand. “We’re going to be just fine, and in a little while, you’re going to meet your baby brother, alright?”

“Promise?” she asked in a small voice.

“I promise. But there is something important we need you to do while you wait.”

Her eyes widened. “What is it?”

“Well, the baby was so excited to meet you and the rest of the family that he decided to come before we could pick out a middle name,” he said, looking up at me.

I nodded, relieved that one of us had his shit together enough to deal with this, even if he was the one in labor. “That’s right. Do you think you could help us come up with something that sounds good with Levi?”

“Okay,” Anika said brightly. She leaned up, threw her arms around Ellis’ neck and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll pick a good name. Listen to the doctor and make sure they don’t give you the wrong baby.”

Ellis laughed. “I’ll do my very best,” he promised, letting me and dad lead him out to the car.

“You handled that like a pro,” I remarked as I helped him buckle in. “Already putting me to shame at this parenting thing, huh?”

“You already did the hard stuff with Anika,” he said, smiling through what I could tell was a particularly rough contraction.

I leaned in to kiss him. “You’ve got this. You’re stronger than anyone I know.”

“I’ve got you,” he said, pressing his forehead against mine. “That’s all I need.” He hesitated. “That and the drugs Luis was telling me about.”

I laughed, getting into the backseat with Dolores. I was relieved my father had agreed to drive, since I could scarcely remember my own name, let alone be trusted to not drive recklessly.

Once we arrived, we were ushered into the room we’d already visited on our tour of the delivery ward. Dolores coached Ellis through his breathing exercises while dad called the rest of the family to give them updates.

It turned out that Levi was not in as much of a hurry as he’d seemed to be at first. It took another three hours for the doctors to decide that a caesarian was in order, and while I could tell Ellis was nervous, he was yet again keeping it together so much better than I was. Despite dad and Dolores’s best efforts to keep me calm, I knew I’d only be able to breathe when I held our son in my arms and heard it from the doctor himself that my mate was going to be just fine.

They let me go in with Ellis, and the medicine they had him on had eased the pain, at least. He was still clinging to consciousness by the time our son’s cries filled the room, and my heart leaped with joy and trepidation as they placed the newborn in my arms.

The same sense of overwhelming love and gravity I’d felt when I first held Anika in my arms settled over me then as I caressed the shock of red hair on top of Levi’s head. “Hey, baby boy,” I cooed softly, still watching from the corner of my eye as the doctors and nurses worked around Ellis.

My mate smiled sleepily at us both, but the sight of the oxygen mask on his face was triggering memories of the worst moments of my life.

I held Levi so Ellis could see him and gave him a strained smile in return. “He’s perfect.” The words came out shaky. “You did so good.”

“Didn’t feel much,” he said with a tired laugh, gazing up at our son. “God, he’s beautiful.”

“Gets that from you.” My throat was so tight I could barely speak.

“Hm,” Ellis murmured with a yawn, closing his eyes.

“Ellis?”

“He’s fine, sweetheart,” the nurse insisted, gently guiding me over to a less crowded area of the room while the doctor finished stitching him up. “He’s gonna be in and out for a little while, but the procedure went well and he’s as strong as they come. There’s no reason to be worried.”

Easy for you to say, I thought. She didn’t know what it was like to lose your world only to find it again.

My father’s hand on my shoulder brought me out of my thoughts and reminded me of the small, helpless creature in my arms. I looked down at my son, smiling at his precious face. He was already falling asleep, as if his journey into the world had taken as much out of him as the one who’d brought him into it.

“He’s incredible,” dad said softly, leaning over to stroke the infant’s tiny hand.

“Yeah, he is,” I said with a strangled laugh. “He has Ellis’s eyes.”

“His hair, too.” His eyes met mine, full of the confidence and reassurance I needed. It didn’t matter that I was in my thirties with two kids of my own; in that moment, I needed my father as much as I ever had. “It’s okay to be scared, Reece.”

“I can’t lose him, dad. I just can’t. Losing Janie almost killed me, but this, it’s —“

“It’s different,” he said softly. Knowingly.

“Oh, God,” I breathed, realizing he was right. Hearing it out loud, even though I’d felt it for more than a year, made me feel even more like shit. Even more aware of how little I deserved the gift in my arms or the one in that room, hooked up to a machine like I’d sworn I would never let happen, even if it was an irrational promise to make. “Do I love him more?” I wondered aloud, my head and heart going places I didn’t want them to.

“You don’t. Love isn’t a comparison game, it’s not something you can compare objectively, analytically,” he insisted. “You didn’t imprint on Janie.”

I clenched my jaw, tears of shame burning my eyes as he spoke. It was the truth. God help me, it was the truth and I hated myself for it. “You knew.”

“I knew when you brought her home, but I also knew that it didn’t mean you loved her any less,” he said, his voice gentle. “I’ve loved two people, too, you know. I didn’t think I could until it happened and I imprinted on Luis,” he admitted, his voice rough. “For a long time, it ate at me. It’s not something I’d ever admit to your brothers, but you need to know because you need to understand. What I have with him, it doesn’t make what I had with her any less. What you and Ellis have doesn’t take away from everything you built with Janie, and loving him the way you do doesn’t mean you were anything but a faithful, devoted mate to her. She knew you loved her, and she knew you were going to meet someone else one day. Someone who would ease the pain, and help you move on the way she always wanted you to.”

“She told you that?” I asked in disbelief.

“We talked a lot. Smart young woman, that one,” he said with a nostalgic smile. “Always challenged me, just like Ellis does. Never took my bullshit, either.”

“Or mine,” I said with a snort.

“She had a sense for these things. She knew Dylan was the one for Gray when she met him, and she made me promise that when you found the one you were meant to be with, I wouldn’t let you throw it away like a bonehead because of misplaced guilt.”

I looked up, surprised. Those were definitely Janie’s words. “I’ve done so much wrong,” I said, my voice so strained it hurt to speak. I looked down at my sleeping son, marveling at his peaceful expression. “I’ve made so many mistakes.”

“This isn’t one of them,” he said firmly. “Loving Ellis isn’t wrong. Imprinting on him wasn’t a mistake, it was a gift, and no matter what there was between you in the past, you need to learn to accept it.”

“I thought some wounds were too deep to heal.”

He smiled softly. “That’s the thing about being alive for as long as I have. You learn new ways to be wrong every day.”