Chapter 17

Jonathan

A few weeks later...

I watched Claire’s chest rise and fall as she lay on my couch. She’d fallen asleep minutes after we had sex against my office windows.

I brought my hand to her face and pushed a few stray hairs off her forehead, smiling at how beautiful she was, how peaceful she looked.

She wasn’t wearing any make-up today, and for the first time I realized that she had light freckles on each of her cheeks, that her long and full eye lashes naturally bowed upwards. And I’d kissed her lips thousands of times, but I’d never noticed the tiny tan mole above her top lip.

Why didn’t I notice her before this year? We had to have crossed paths at least once...

I wasn’t sure what was going on between us, but whatever it was I didn’t want it stop; it was like nothing I’d ever felt before.

The women I’d been with in the past were mostly a means to pass the time, a way to fill my days with something steady until I was bored or driven away by their erratic behavior. But Claire never bored me, never annoyed me—even when she was frustrating the shit out of me.

I trailed my fingertips against her mouth and her eyes fluttered open.

“Hi.”

“Hi...” She blinked and slowly sat up. “Do you get aroused by watching me sleep?”

“No, but if you didn’t snore so much maybe I would.”

She rolled her eyes and tapped her shoulder, her way of saying she was ready for me to put her clothes back on.

I picked her bra up from the floor and clasped it around her back. I stared at it for a few seconds, looking at the black lace that covered the cups, at the red silk that lined the edges. I looked down and realized that her panties were an exact match.

How cute...

“Is this a new bra?” I slid the straps over her shoulder. “I’ve never seen you wear this one before.”

“You think I bought brand new lingerie just for you?”

“Did you?”

“No.” She leaned over and reached for her shirt. “Sorry to break it to you, but you’re not that special...I found this in my closet yesterday while I was cleaning it out, and I—”

I reached around her and gently ripped the small white tag that was hanging from the side. I held it in front of her and smiled. “Next time you happen to find something in your closet, make sure you cut the tag off first.”

Her face turned bright red.

“I love it.” I kissed her right strap and helped her into her shirt. “Would you like to go out to dinner tonight? Anywhere you want—and yes, we can arrange to sit in a private room.”

She didn’t say anything. She just sat there blushing.

“Claire?”

“I can’t...I have to be home by eight tonight. I’m helping the girls make cupcakes for a bake sale.”

“A bake sale? For what?”

“For the cheerleading squad.” She put on her pants. “All twenty of them are going to be there tonight and I need to make sure my house doesn’t burn down.”

“Hmmm. Do your daughters know you’re dating me?”

“Not yet...”

Of course not... “Okay, since we can’t do dinner, let’s make use of what little time we have.”

“How about watching a movie at your place? I think that would get me back in time.”

“No. I have a much better idea.” I stood up and grabbed her blazer off the coat rack. “How do you feel about pizza?”

“Pizza?”

“Yes. It’s a popular dish made from dough, tomato sauce, and cheese. It’s baked in an oven and sold in boxes all over the world.”

She smiled. “You don’t strike me as a take-out pizza type of guy.”

“Who said anything about take-out?”

––––––––

Claire tossed another ball of dough into the air and smashed it with her hands, making a gust of flour float across the air and fall onto my floor. Then she giggled like a child.

I shook my head. “It doesn’t take much to entertain you does it?”

“I’m not the one who suggested we make pizza from scratch...My mom used to do this with me and my—” She stopped. “She would get all the best stuff from the store and we’d waste a whole Saturday baking five or six huge pizzas.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“It was...”

The oven’s timer went off and I slipped an oven mitt on my hand. I carefully pulled the pepperoni and spinach pizza off the rack and set it down on the island.

I felt Claire moving behind me and turned around. “What are you doing?”

“I was going to pour us both a glass of wine.” She held up the glasses and her eyes met mine. “You don’t want one?”

“Yes...” My heartbeat started to speed up.

“Is red okay with you?”

“It’s perfect...”

We both stood still and stared at each other, not moving, not saying anything. The second alarm for the breadsticks was blaring, but neither of us made an attempt to shut it off.

I closed the gap between us and wrapped an arm around her hips, looking down into her gorgeous green eyes, pretending not to notice how loudly her heart was thumping against her chest.

She reached up and placed her arms around my neck, pressing her body tightly against mine, standing on her toes to reach my lips.

I bent down to kiss her—watching her close her eyes, watching her take a short breath in anticipation, but then I stopped. 

Fuck...

I cleared my throat. “We should eat.”

She opened her eyes and stepped back. “Yeah, you’re right...” She walked around me and grabbed a bottle of wine.

I waited until she sat down and we ate our food in our own special silence—though at this point, I wasn’t even sure if it could really be called “silence.” All we had to do was look at each other to have a conversation, words weren’t really necessary.

I could tell when she was thinking about work, when she was thinking about us, or when she was putting on her best poker face to pretend like she wasn’t thinking about me.

She put down her pizza crust and sighed. “Where do you buy your wine?”

“What do you mean?”

“You have a wine room in every place you’ve showed me, even on your yachts. But none of the brands are domestic and I know my wine. You can’t buy most of your collection in America.”

I smiled. “Very astute. I stock up on most of it twice a year. I go to a collector’s vineyard in France. I’ll take you there on my jet this summer.”

“Okay...” She looked off to the side, like she always did when she doubted something, when she was analyzing us.

“What is it now, Claire? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing...”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

I set my plate down and walked over. “I need to ask you another personal question, a very personal question.”

“Okay...” She sipped her wine. “Go ahead.”

“We’ve been having sex since what? Late January? It’s about to be May...”

“That’s not a question.”

“I can’t think of one week when we didn’t have sex at least once.”

“Also not a question.”

“Why haven’t you gotten your period?”

She spluttered her wine into the air. “What?”

“You heard me.” I wrapped my arms around her waist. “I’m not complaining. I just want to know why you’ve never mentioned anything about your time of the month.”

“Oh my god! You ask the worst personal—”

“And you always try to change the subject. I’m waiting...”

“I can’t believe you’re asking me about menstruation! Do you have any sense of shame or—”

“Claire...”

“Ugh...” She shook her head. “I was really depressed after my divorce. I can’t put how depressed into words, but... I couldn’t get out of bed, I had to force myself to eat, and I... I just couldn’t function...So um, after I’d lost about ten pounds from wasting away, I made myself go to the doctor and he prescribed some antidepressants. One of the side effects was irregular periods and—Do I really need to go into this?”

“You do. I need to know.”

She sighed. “I got my period every day for the first two months and they swore that was typical for first time dosage. Then I got it for six more months, and then it just stopped. I kept taking the medicine for a year after that, but when I decided to stop, it never came back...They ran test after test and said that everything was normal, that I was perfectly fine. They said that I may experience spotting from time to time, but I’ll probably never get a full period again. Happy?”

“Ecstatic.”

She rolled her eyes and stepped out of my embrace. “Which picture is of your sister Hayley?” She walked towards the fireplace.

“The one on the left.”

“She looks just like you...” She took the picture off the mantle and looked at it. She didn’t say anything, but I knew why she was scrutinizing it.

At first glance, Hayley was just a beautiful blue eyed girl in a yellow sundress. But upon further notice, you could see the hundreds of red lined scars and cuts that sat on her wrists; they completely covered her arms.

“That’s the main reason why I can’t forgive my parents so easily...” I cleared my throat. “Hayley started cutting herself once we were put in separate foster homes. That’s how she dealt with not having any family around...I’ve paid to have the majority of the marks removed, but she insists on keeping the ones on her arms.”

“I’m so sorry...Is that a Scrabble necklace she’s wearing?”

I smiled. “It is. She’s the captain of her school’s Scrabble team. Fifty thousand dollars in tuition every year, and she wants to play Scrabble. Isn’t that ridiculous?”

She laughed. “Do you two play when she visits you?”

“There wouldn’t be a point. She’d beat me in seconds. The only game I can beat her in is Monopoly, but only because that’s my favorite game.”

“Ashley and Caroline beat me at that all the time. Even when I cheat.”

“On family game night?”

“Yeah...” She put the picture back on the shelf and slowly walked over to me, giving me a look that would make me do anything for her. Then she leaned in for a kiss.

I wanted to kiss her back, needed to kiss her back, but I didn’t.

I turned away and sighed. “It’s seven thirty. I should take you home now.”

––––––––

I pulled my Murcielago outside of her house and turned off the engine. “Greg parked your car three houses down. Is that alright?”

“Yes...”

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you after work tomorrow.”

“No, you won’t,” she said. “I’ll be busy all week.”

“You know that already?”

“I do...” She looked up at me, giving me that sultry look again.

God, she needs to go...Now...

“Well, I’ll see you when you’re not busy.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened my door, but she grabbed my shoulder.

“Wait...Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“You haven’t kissed me all day...Are you going to kiss me goodnight?”

“No.”

“What?” She looked stunned. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“Is this because I haven’t told my daughters about us?”

I laughed. “No, even though I’m pretty sure they know you’ve been dating someone. You could at least admit it. They’re sixteen, not six.”

“Is it because I was quiet at dinner?”

“I enjoy our silent dinners.” I reached over and caressed her face. “You know that.”

“Well, you’re going to be the only one that regrets this lack of goodnight kiss, Jonathan. While you’re lying in bed thinking about how you should’ve kissed me, I’ll be too busy to think about you.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. My team is staying late all week, so I won’t be able to slip away into your secret rooms. I probably won’t see you until next weekend—maybe even the week after that. I need to catch up with my other friends now that I think about it.”

“Do you see me crying?”

“You are mad at me about something! What is it?”

“I’m not mad at you.” I’m mad that I’m falling for you...

“Well...” She unbuckled her seatbelt and looked around.

She leaned forward to kiss me, but I held her still and whispered against her lips. “I didn’t kiss you today because I made a promise to myself yesterday.”

“What promise?”

“You don’t need to know.”

“Tell me...”

I didn’t say anything. I just watched as she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes.

“Jonathan, you’re being childish again. If there’s nothing wrong, and if—”

I pressed my finger against her mouth. “I promised that the next time I kissed you, I’d be kissing both sets of your lips.”

She gasped and blushed bright red.

“Goodnight, Claire. I’ll see you next weekend.”