Epilogue
Six months later…
Dillon reclined into Cinders and watched the grass wave in the yard. He preferred the warmer weather of late spring. No snow, no chill in the air, just warmth and the beauty of the world revealing itself. He wasn’t afraid any longer, either. He switched his gaze to the contrast of his pale, bare legs against Cinders’ darker ones. He’d been so lucky to find Cinders. No one understood him quite like Cinders.
Cinders rubbed Dillon’s chest. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing. Just us.” He hadn’t lied. Being with Cinders made him happy.
“Are you sure you’re not second-guessing your decision?” Cinders asked.
“To forgive Avan?”
“Yeah. I’m still ready to kill him. It’s six months down the road, and I’ve heard his apology, but it doesn’t change my mind.” Cinders drew circles around Dillon’s nipple through the fabric of his shirt.
Dillon rested his head on Cinders’ chest. He’d thought about Avan countless times—things he wanted to say, things he hadn’t said, things he wanted to take back. Did he regret forgiving Avan?
“I’m not changing my mind. I can’t move forward unless I accept the apology and forgive him. That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten. I haven’t.” He never would.
“Good.”
“I’m wiser now but not as brittle. I don’t like him, and I doubt we’ll be friends, but I’ve learned I’m not worthless. I have a support system.” He tipped his head to meet Cinders’ gaze. “I’ve got people in my corner.”
“You bet your ass you do.” Cinders pinched Dillon’s nipple. “My jaguar and I will give our life for you.”
“The same goes for me and my wolf.” Until he’d given Cinders a chance, Dillon never would’ve thought he’d make anyone happy. He’d never thought he’d be whole. Cinders had shown him life was better when it wasn’t experienced in a vacuum. He’d become a fighter for himself. A survivor.
“I hear Avan’s isolation will end soon,” Cinders said. “Depending on his behavior, he’ll be allowed back into the general population. I’m with you no matter what, but I’d be happier if we were in the apartments and he’s back in the mansion.”
“I know, and I agree.” Dillon laced his fingers with Cinders’. “As for Avan, he screwed up, and what he did was wrong. I don’t have to be his friend, but we both need to prove we’ve matured. He deserves that. Markas said Avan’s only been able to shift for nine months. I’ve been able to for more than six years.”
“You were stunted, babe.” Cinders’ brow crinkled. “You might have had more years on the earth, but that doesn’t excuse his actions.”
“Never said it did,” Dillon replied. “What I mean is, he thought he was showing his toughness. In my wolf pack, when one wolf challenges the alpha, the alpha ran the intruder off the land. I’m not the alpha, and I don’t think Avan needs to go. Was Avan challenging me? Yes. Why would a lion need to challenge a wolf? Because he’s a kid. I’m not making excuses for him, but he needs a chance to prove he’s learned his lesson.”
“You’re patient and more understanding than me.” Cinders brushed his lips across Dillon’s forehead. “But I’m with you.”
“Good.” He patted Cinders’ thigh. “I’ve had enough sunshine, and my wolf is dying for a run. Would your jaguar like to go for a few laps around the yard?” He didn’t want to talk about Avan any longer. He wanted to move on to something he liked instead.
“Yes, then we go upstairs and make love,” Cinders said.
“Of course.” Dillon sat up. He stripped then shifted. He hadn’t worked his way up to allowing Cinders to fuck him, but the mutual masturbation and him fucking Cinders were hot. He’d even let Cinders go down on him. Cinders wasn’t pressuring him for more. When the time was right, he’d allow Cinders into the most intimate parts of his body. He knew it would happen sooner than later.
Living and learning with Cinders was easier and harder than he’d thought, but he embraced every moment. He’d found a crusader and a true equal in the jaguar shifter.
Once Cinders switched forms, he roared then nudged Dillon with his head. Dillon dug his paws into the dirt. He and Cinders were at ease in their human forms, but also as their animals. He bounded away from Cinders, and the wind rushed through his fur. The grass snarled in his nails but didn’t hinder his progress forward. He was free. His scars didn’t matter. The past wasn’t there. Just being together was enough.
He loved how they were as a pair. They fit for each other. The past mattered, but it didn’t have as much weight as his future. He had direction now and someone to live for. He had himself to live for. Looking back, he hadn’t thought himself worthy. Now, he knew the truth. Since he’d found Cinders and opened his heart, he’d never have to let go.
* * * *
Avan glared out the window. As much as he wanted to, he didn’t hate Dillon. He didn’t hate Cinders, either. They’d found each other. Fine. Did they have to flaunt their love or whatever it was they shared? No, but he was being overly sensitive.
Why? Because he deserved love, too.
He growled. He’d gotten himself into this trouble. Coming on to Dillon and making lewd comments hadn’t been smart. Throwing himself at Dillon then getting violent with Cinders had been worse. He’d thought he’d show his dominance, but instead, he’d demonstrated his immaturity. The others didn’t respect him for having balls. They thought he was ridiculous and disrespectful.
He groaned and left the window. What had he earned with his bad decisions? Talks with the head doctor, which he hated because he didn’t like discussing his faults. And with Markas and John, which depressed him. They all wanted to make sure he knew what he’d done was wrong and if he’d taken steps to change. Everyone else left him alone, which sucked. Christ. He’d made one colossal mistake. Why wouldn’t they let him move on?
He flopped onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. Did he want anyone at the Sanctuary? As a lover? Well, yeah. But would that guy want him in return? He doubted Oscar had been there when he’d made a fool of himself, but still… Oscar had to know what had happened. He had to have an opinion. He’d ignored Avan since then. Sometimes, Avan didn’t understand why his lion seemed drawn to Oscar. They weren’t great mate material. They didn’t talk, pay each other attention or even spend time in the same room.
So how in the hell was his lion so sure Oscar could be someone so special to him? Because his human side liked Oscar. He wanted to run his fingers over Oscar’s muscles and taste his kiss. He wanted Oscar to see him as a flawed man, not a jerk who’d made a bad decision. To help him heal. Mostly, he wanted Oscar to help him prove to himself he wasn’t a horrible person. Was that possible?
He’d never know until he put himself out there and said something to Oscar.
“Avan?”
He sat up. Markas…shit. Great. Was it time for another discussion? “The door is unlocked.”
Markas entered the room. He had his hands stuffed in his pockets. “How are you feeling today?”
Fuck.
“I’m fine.” He gritted his teeth. What was he saying? He wasn’t fine. He was lonely as hell.
“Right.” Markas leaned against the desk and crossed his ankles. “Want to try for the truth?”
He stared at Markas. “How do you do that?”
“What?”
“Know what I’m thinking.” He balled his hands and shook his head. “I’m not even sure what’s going on, but you’re on top of it. I’m lonely. I want out of this room. I want to be like everyone else again. I made a mistake. I know it. I’ve changed my behavior, but I can’t prove it until I’m out around the others.”
“I know.” Markas turned the chair around and sat, facing Avan. “I’m the alpha. I’m supposed to know what’s going on. I know you’re feeling singled out.”
“But my behavior required it.” He rolled his eyes. This back-and-forth had gotten old a while ago. “I can’t prove I’ve changed—”
“—unless you’re with the others. I know.” Markas met Avan’s gaze. “I’ve talked to Dillon. He accepted your apology, and while I don’t feel you’ve been punished enough, he thinks it’s time you were given more leeway. The house arrest—er…room arrest—is officially over. That said, I’ve got my eyes on you, and if you make a stupid move, I will pounce.”
“You’re letting me go?” He couldn’t process what he’d been told. “Dillon…is okay…”
“He is. He believes this is a single incident,” Markas said. “I think you’ve learned new behavior, but I’m not letting you have a total pass.”
“Understood.” Avan rubbed his hands on his pantlegs. “Wow. Thank you.” He had to make a few decisions, like how the hell he’d move forward. He knew how to conduct himself, so that wasn’t a problem. But how would the others receive him?
“You’re welcome,” Markas said. “Be yourself. The other shifters will need time to come around, but if you’re the man and shifter I think you are, they’ll accept you.”
Being himself wasn’t hard, but waiting for acceptance would kill him. His lion leapt within him and roared. He had a second chance and could pursue who he wanted. He’d have to keep the lion in check, but the big cat was happy.
“Come down for dinner. We’re having a feast and welcoming two new shifters.” Markas stood. “We’re eating in forty-five minutes.”
“Thank you. I’ll be there.” Avan stood as Markas left. “Thank you,” he called.
He blew out a ragged breath and leaned against the doorway. Ten minutes ago, he’d thought his world was mostly over. Now, he’d been given another chance. He spotted Oscar down the corridor. His heart beat faster, and electricity shot though his veins.
Well, lion, we’ve got another chance to roar. Avan shoved a lock of his hair off his forehead. Time to prove we’re better than we were and worthy of Oscar. No sweat, right?