Chapter Nine
When Dillon woke, he wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep. The wolf had retreated, and his very nude body was tucked against Cinders’ equally naked form. He drank in Cinders’ image. God, the man was pretty. The sheet only covered the lower half of his body. The strength in his body, the whiskers on his cheeks, his muscles, his long lashes… And with his arm across his belly, he could be a model. He’d be perfect in almost any pose, really. Dillon noticed a tattoo on the outside of Cinders’ wrist.
I am Cinders
Fitting. He’d never forget himself.
Dillon sighed. He couldn’t help but be a little jealous. Until he’d come to the Sanctuary, he hadn’t had the opportunity to figure out who he was. But he had a chance now.
The wolf whined within him. It wanted to claim Cinders.
He paused. The rational side of him screamed to take his time and figure out if he and Cinders would make it. Maybe, he should be a single for a while and date Cinders. What if someone better was out there? What if the person he was supposed to be with was Cinders all along, but he passed in favor of searching? They could be together a long time. Or they could split in a year. Christ, figuring out his life was hard.
Cinders was right. Dillon had fallen for Cinders from the start.
“You’re staring at me.” Cinders opened his eyes. “I’m hoping you like what you see.”
“I do.” He spotted the tent in the sheets. His mouth watered. “You’re hard,” he blurted. Why couldn’t he think before he spoke?
“Erections tend to happen when you sleep with a hot guy.” Cinders smiled. He stretched then scratched his thigh and pulled the sheet tight across his dick. “You’re hard, too.”
“Yeah.” He hesitated. Cinders was safe. Dillon’s heart hammered. He could touch and explore the jaguar shifter all he wanted. He could let go. Was he ready?
Cinders stroked Dillon’s arm. “May I touch you?”
“You are,” Dillon whispered. He wasn’t sure why he’d whispered, but too late. He knew what Cinders meant, though. Cinders had given Dillon control—something Dillon hadn’t had often.
“May I?” Cinders rolled onto his side and faced Dillon. He cupped Dillon’s cheek. “I want you to make love to me.”
He almost asked if Cinders was serious. Instead, he kept his mouth shut. He rubbed his cheek on Cinders’ palm. They were going to do this.
Cinders kissed Dillon’s knuckles. “Won’t take long.”
“Yeah, it will. I don’t have the stuff.” Besides, he had to work himself up to sex. Jesus. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d fucked without being forced. “I didn’t get supplies.” He hadn’t thought he’d need them. Christ, he was poor at planning.
“Don’t worry about it.” Cinders left the bed and wiggled his bare ass. “I’ve got some.”
“You do? Where? Your costume was small and tight.” He should stop blurting things.
“Yeah, but there are plenty of hiding spots.” Cinders picked up his boot. “When you lose your clothes for a living, you get creative with where you keep stuff.” He opened a pocket on the side of his boot. “See? Perfect for tips, keys, ID and condoms.” He held up a rubber and a small bottle of lube. “I’m always prepared.”
“You carry around condoms?” Jealousy hit Dillon again. He didn’t like the idea of Cinders being with anyone else—or Cinders thinking about being with someone else, since they hadn’t broken up. Then again, they hadn’t gotten together.
“Ready doesn’t mean I’m always willing, but I put them in there in case things went right with you.” He abandoned the boot and returned to bed. “I had a chat with Markas. That’s why I brought these with me.”
“You…what?” Christ. He could only imagine what Markas and Cinders had discussed. “Damn.”
“I did it for your safety. I didn’t know what you’d told him about what you’ve gone through, but if Avan was sniffing around, others might, too. I doubted anyone would be so low to expect you to perform for them, but I was wrong about Avan. I thought Markas should be made aware of what had happened. I had no desire to smear you. My only thought was to protect you.” Cinders tossed the lube and condom on the bed. “Seriously.”
“Thanks.” Jesus. So much for his erection…
“Dill, you were traumatized, and Avan only made it worse. I might have been angry with you because you didn’t tell me, but that didn’t change my attraction.” He climbed onto Dillon’s lap. “I’m still head-over-heels for you.”
“Yet, you danced for Oscar.” Dillon flattened his hands on Cinders’ thighs. “I’m guessing you enjoyed it. I saw you.”
“I was a jerk to make you feel jealous.” Cinders wriggled on Dillon’s thighs. “I knew it would work, and I’m ashamed.”
“Made me sick.” Jealous, destroyed, irritated…all of the above.
“Because you didn’t like it?” Cinders asked.
“Because I wanted to be him,” Dillon shouted. Oh God. He sank onto the bed. He’d said that out loud and admitted one of his deep desires.
“I’m sorry I did it, but I got you to ‘fess up to the attraction.” Cinders kissed Dillon. “Hate me, but our animals want each other. My heart was in the right place, and your gut reaction wasn’t wrong.”
“But Cinders…” He couldn’t find the words to explain. He wanted to clock Cinders then fuck him.
“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have used your jealousy to get you to realize we’re together and best that way.” Cinders tipped his head. “My innate desire to protect you came out. The jaguar and I couldn’t handle seeing you go through all that, but I wasn’t much better.” He left Dillon’s lap. “Forgive me?”
Dillon stared at Cinders. His thoughts muddled. Irritation and honor filtered through him. “You’re a dick.”
“I know.”
“An asshole.”
“Agreed.” Cinders grinned.
“I want to make you leave.”
“You should.”
Dillon paused. “But I can’t.”
“I’m glad,” Cinders said. “I just want to protect you.”
“I know. That’s what’s keeping me from unleashing my wolf on you. Your presentation stunk, but your heart was, as you said, in the right place.” Dillon raked his fingers through his hair. “You’ll drive me nuts.”
“I know.” Cinders sank onto the bed. “Then what do we do?” The petulance was gone from his voice.
Dillon wasn’t sure. He still liked Cinders, and the wolf sensed a kindred spirit. “We work on it. If we’re going to do this, then we’re an us, not separate. I need consistency and someone I can trust.”
“Done.” Cinders winked. “I’m done roaming.”
“You can handle a wolf with gray hair and more miles on him than should be allowed?” Dillon met Cinders’ gaze. “You want a worn-down man with scars?”
“I can’t imagine being with anyone else.” Cinders stretched out on the bed. He reached for Dillon. “Come here.”
Dillon let go of his misgivings and focused on Cinders. He crawled on Cinders lap. Without thinking, Dillon mashed his mouth down on Cinders’. Warmth spread through his body. Electricity shot through his veins. He ground his dick against Cinders’ and embraced the thrill of being this close to someone. He braced his knees and splayed his hands on Cinders’ chest.
Cinders opened to Dillon, allowing him to suck on his tongue. A moan bubbled in Dillon’s throat. He’d done plenty of things before, but nothing rated so high on the hot meter as rutting against Cinders. The friction of skin-on-skin mixed with the slickness of Cinders’ tongue against his nearly blew his synapses. His wolf howled and paced within him. The animal liked what was happening.
The electricity increased, and Dillon shivered. He tweaked Cinders’ nipple. Fuck. At this rate, he wouldn’t last. Dillon dug his toes into the bed. His balls ached, and he needed to come. He writhed on Cinders.
“Oh Jesus.” Cinders slid his hand between their bodies and wrapped both cocks in his fingers. He stroked, creating a perfect rhythm.
Dillon kissed Cinders, but his resistance shattered. Holy shit. He broke the connection and panted. Having his dick aligned with Cinders was the hottest thing he’d ever done. He rested his forehead on Cinders and loved the wildness in Cinders’ eyes. Not long now, and Dillon would explode.
“Come for me,” Cinders whispered. “Come with me.”
So much for holding back. He tensed, and his balls tingled. He rocked into Cinders hand and embraced the climax. Hot cum jutted across Cinders’ belly. For a split-second, Dillon froze.
“Oh fuck yeah.” Cinders arched beneath Dillon then gritted his teeth. “Yes.” He closed his eyes and shuddered as he came. A ribbon of jizz stretched across his belly. Some shot onto Dillon. Cinders panted.
Dillon held tight to the blankets. His knees weakened, and bone-deep weariness settled in. When Cinders opened his eyes, he grinned.
“Stretch out on me. I want to hold you.” Cinders kissed him. “I’ve got you.”
Without a second thought, he settled on Cinders. Cum smeared between them in a sticky, gooey mess, but he didn’t care. Amazement filled him. With Cinders’ help, he’d created positive memories to counteract the negative ones. He’d moved forward and healed a little.
“What?” Cinders let go of their cocks and smoothed his hand over Dillon’s ass. “Are you sleeping?”
“No. I’m happy.” He tilted his head to meet Cinders’ gaze. “I’m free. My wolf is devoted to you, but I’m free.”
Cinders patted Dillon’s butt. “I’m lost, but that’s not new.”
He splayed his hand on Cinders’ chest. “I’ll always be scarred, and I doubt I’ll ever be the same as I was when I first shifted, but tonight, I was able to be with someone and be me. That’s huge. It’s another step on the road to healing.” He kissed Cinders hard. “Because of you.”
“Yay.” Cinders smiled. “You deserve a good ending.”
“Ending?” Cinders didn’t understand. Dillon cupped Cinders’ jaw. “This isn’t an ending. This is our beginning. You and me. You restored my howl for a reason. We’re here because something or someone knew we should find each other. I’m not afraid anymore. I’ve got you, and that’s more than I ever thought I deserved.”
“Then here’s to our beginning,” Cinders said. “And our future.”
“Here’s to us.” Life would never be the same, but that’s exactly what Dillon wanted—change and to be with Cinders.