Chapter Eight
Dillon followed the group to the apartment building. According to Ryan, there was a meeting hall on the ground floor. Dillon had no idea because he’d never been to the place. He had to give Markas and John lots of credit. Creating a building apart from the mansion had been smart. Every few weeks, more shifters either showed up at the Sanctuary or were brought in after being rescued. The house couldn’t hold everyone, so the extra building helped with the sheer volume of individuals. One day, Dillon wanted to be strong enough to leave the safety of the mansion and live in the apartments, but not today.
He shuffled into the meeting room and gasped. The large space was filled with balloons, glitter, confetti, blaring dance music and swirling lights. The ambiance reminded him of a porn shoot he’d done that was supposed to have taken place at a club—but in that, everyone had been in the nude.
The noise and volume of action in the room bothered Dillon. There was too much going on. He wanted to escape. Large gatherings weren’t his thing.
He spotted John and Markas along with Ben, Joe, Talisman and Davi. The twin shifters were there with their human. A few other shifters had arrived, but Dillon didn’t know their names. He didn’t see Oscar, Avan or Ryder. Knowing they weren’t around yet allowed him to relax a little.
“Nice to see you,” Delaney said. He smiled. “The greaser thing works for you. I like it.”
“Thanks.” He kept his hands in his pockets. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Cinders. Ryder hadn’t lied. The shirt stretched tight across Cinders’ chest and showed his muscles. Dillon couldn’t see the shorts, but he imagined them glued like a second skin to his ass. Dillon considered going to him but held back when he realized Cinders wasn’t alone. Oscar stood with Cinders and swatted Cinders’ arm. It could be a coincidence, them being together. The music was loud, and Cinders whirled around. He ground against Oscar. In a blur of arms and legs, he showed off his dance moves. Oscar laughed, and Cinders seemed in his element.
“You have the right to remain furry,” Cinders said. He laughed and waved his arms.
Oscar slid the baton from Cinders’ belt and pointed it at him. “Hell yes.” He draped his arms around Cinders’ neck, appearing to thoroughly enjoy himself.
Dillon’s stomach soured. He hated seeing Cinders with someone else. He wanted to go, but he refused to give Cinders or anyone else the satisfaction of watching him leave.
Avan strode right up to Dillon and grinned. His white shirt clung to his upper body, and he’d paired the plain garment with a pair of blue jeans. Ryder shuffled over. He hadn’t worn a costume.
Shit. Dillon darted away. He didn’t want to be at the party. Fuck his refusal to back down. Fuck Avan. He’d almost considered giving Cinders his heart. Not now. Dillon wouldn’t bare his soul or anything else with Avan nearby.
“Where are you going?” Avan grabbed Dillon’s forearm. “You can’t go. Not yet.”
“Why?” His wolf was pissed and not in the mood to argue.
“You look so handsome, and you went to the trouble of dressing up.” Avan slid his hand down Dillon’s arm. “Let’s dance.”
Being so close to Avan felt wrong. The way Avan held onto him irritated the wolf. He kept the animal in check, but not by much. Dillon shook free from Avan. “No. Not interested.”
“You need to loosen up.” Avan held into Dillon’s sleeve. “Give yourself a chance to enjoy life.”
He’d enjoyed plenty of life and other things. Panic settled in his brain. His wolf growled. It dug at him. Uneasiness rankled Dillon. His brain screamed that this was a bad situation. He needed to get out and fast.
Avan walked Dillon backward to the wall. He cornered Dillon between the wall and his body and lowered his voice an octave. “I know what you do. I’ve seen it. Hot stuff. Jesus, you suck a dick so beautifully. Take one in your ass nicely, too. Do you still like a good three-way? Maybe, you like a bad one?” He shrugged and caged Dillon in his arms. “I’m not leaving until you get on your knees.”
Dillon tensed. He couldn’t run. Avan had him pinned. His heart raced and fear paralyzed him. Fuck. He wasn’t sure what to do besides embrace his wolf. The animal hated Avan.
“Get out of my face.” He planted his hands on Avan’s chest and pushed with his entire might.
Avan tumbled backward. “You asshole. I’m getting my friends, and we’ll destroy you—after we get what we want.” He threw himself at Dillon. “You owe me.”
“For what?” Dillon pushed again, but Avan moved more easily to block him.
“I picked you, and you keep avoiding me,” Avan said. “I get what I want, and I want you.”
“You’re not getting anything.” Cinders held Avan by his shirt. He growled and glared in Avan’s face. “Dillon and everyone else at the Sanctuary aren’t here for your pleasure. You can’t use them. I won’t let you.”
“Why? ‘Cause you’re not done?” Avan snarled. “He’s your treasure? Or are you the big bad jaguar here to kick ass? You’re a fucking stripper. You probably want to team up with him and do dual blowjobs.”
“Dillon and the rest of the shifters here deserve respect.” Cinders held Avan tighter and slammed him into the wall. “I’ve had my eye on you. I know your game. I’m not the protector for the Sanctuary. I’m the asshole who will destroy you. I don’t give a fucking shit anymore. I’m done being nice.”
Despite being relieved for Cinders’ intervention, Dillon’s stomach ached, and he bit back bile. He crumpled on the floor. Jesus. Memories of being grabbed at Wet Dreams hit him hard. He’d had enough and didn’t want to fight anyone else off. Did collapsing make him weak? Did he care? No on both accounts. Fuck it. Avan had broken him. Shattered him. Dillon had sworn he wouldn’t fall apart again. Cinders had come to his defense, but Dillon hadn’t been in the right head space to thank him. Fucking…fuck.
Cinders held onto his temper but only by a thin thread. The moment he’d seen Avan corner Dillon, he’d forgotten how irritated he’d been with Dillon. He’d sprung into action, and his protective streak had come out. The jaguar wouldn’t let Cinders quit on Dillon. Not a chance. Dillon needed him, and Cinders cared for the wolf shifter.
He needed Dillon, too. He loved Dillon and wanted him around always. Forget playing around, his heart belonged to Dillon.
Cinders shook Avan. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
“Nothing,” Avan said, his voice even. “I saw a piece of ass, and I went for it. You gave me the idea.” He sneered. “You walk around here all cocky and like you own the place. Bullshit. You knew we watched your ass. You knew I wanted it, but when I realized what Dillon could do, I wanted his hole. I almost got it.”
His hole. Avan had reduced Dillon to a body part. As if he weren’t a person, but a receptacle. Cinders smashed Avan against the wall and stuck his face in Avan’s. “You’ll never touch him. Ever.” The jaguar begged to be let loose. The cat would teach Avan how things were. He’d destroy Avan. Cinders channeled every bit of frustration in him into his desire to lay into Avan. “I want you gone.”
“I’ll handle this.” Markas touched Cinders’ arm. “Let him down.”
Cinders didn’t want to. He’d rather rip Avan limb from limb.
“Back down, jaguar.” Markas rubbed Cinders’ arm. “Thank you.”
“Yeah,” Avan said. “Fuck you. Let me go.”
“I wouldn’t push your luck right now,” Markas said. When Cinders relinquished his grip, Markas and John snatched Avan. They escorted him from the room.
Cinders whipped around and faced the others. “I don’t know who’s the ‘we’ Avan meant, but if I find out anyone else has any ideas about pulling shit with Dillon, I’ll do to you what I didn’t get to finish with him. Understand? We’re shifters. We’re not here to use each other. We’re a family.”
He had no idea if anyone took him seriously. Jesus. Here he was, wearing a skimpy tearaway police outfit and yelling at anyone who’d listened. If he were the others, he’d have a hard time believing him, too.
Oscar wouldn’t meet his gaze, and Ryder blushed. The crowd dispersed, but Ryder remained. “Sorry, man. I had no idea.”
“Yeah.” Cinders turned his attention to Dillon. The wolf shifter sat against the wall and hugged his knees. He seemed to be staring into space. Cinders wasn’t sure. He sat next to Dillon, their shoulders touching. “How are you feeling?”
Dillon mumbled something, but Cinders couldn’t understand him.
He draped his arm around Dillon and held onto him. He didn’t care if they said nothing. He wanted Dillon to know he gave a damn. The other shifters moved to the dance floor. Though the music blared and the confetti still flew through the air, no one danced. The exciting mood had died.
“Let’s dance,” Delaney said. He waved his arms. “We’re here to have fun. This is supposed to be a night to mix and enjoy ourselves.”
“Start having fun,” Ryan shouted. He laughed and grabbed Delaney. “We’ll start.”
Cinders watched the shifters pair off. Some moved to the music, but most stood in knots.
He turned his attention to Dillon. “Want to go?” He rubbed Dillon’s arm. “Honey, you’re overwhelmed. Let’s get some air.” He stood then hauled Dillon to his feet. “Come with me. We’ll go where it’s quiet.”
“Thanks.” Dillon clung to him until they were in the foyer. “I’m okay.” He pulled out of Cinders’ grasp and rubbed his arms. “Thanks.”
“You said that.” Cinders left some distance between them. He fought the urge to tuck Dillon into his embrace again. “You’re not okay. Avan had no right to say those things or do what he did.”
“I appreciate you sticking up for me.” Dillon faced Cinders. “He’s a kid, and he’s a dick.”
“That doesn’t give him the right to say those things. He harassed you.” Cinders bridged the gap between them. “I’m sorry I didn’t step in faster.”
“You’re not my protector. You barely like me.” Dillon tensed. “Just… You don’t have to be nice. I get it. I revolted you.”
“No.” Revolted? Fucking balls. “Dillon, honey, I… You shocked me, but I’m not put off. I needed time to wrap my head around what you’d told me.” He tucked Dillon into his chest. “I won’t even try to put myself in your shoes, but I’d like to be the one beside you. I shouldn’t have walked away. That was me being a dick, but when I saw him cornering you, I didn’t have to think. My jaguar knew what I was trying to figure out. I already liked you. I needed to protect you.”
Dillon smoothed his hand over Cinders’ chest but said nothing.
Cinders swayed with Dillon in his arms. He’d been looking forward to the party, so he could dance with Dillon. Now that they were there, he preferred the silence of the foyer.
“You’re special.” Wonderful, awesome and fantastic. “I’m lucky you came to the Sanctuary.”
Dillon stopped dancing. “How? I’m broken. I’ve got scars inside and out.”
“Like I’m perfect?” He cupped Dillon’s jaw in both hands. “I used to dance and shake my…everything…for anyone with money. I had no compassion or direction. Then I came here and met you. Now, I’ve got a direction, my jaguar has found a kindred spirit and I’m happy. I’m not even strolling the grounds nude.”
“I’m a miracle worker.” Dillon rolled his eyes. “I’m…”
Before Dillon could finish his sentence, Cinders kissed him. This wasn’t just a kiss, but Cinders tasting and claiming Dillon. He enjoyed the wolf shifter. Cinders sucked on Dillon’s tongue. He needed to be closer. When Dillon moaned, Cinders swallowed the sound. Pride swelled within him. He wanted Dillon in his life for good. Dillon was soft, yet strong, unique and perfect.
Dillon broke the kiss first. He wobbled into Cinders.
“Good?” Cinders held Dillon to his chest.
Dillon nodded.
“Want to try it again?” Maybe, like a hundred times?
“I do, but not here.” Dillon sighed. “I want to go home.”
Cinders kept his arm around him. “We can go to the mansion.” He wasn’t sure if that’s what Dillon meant by home. He said nothing along the walk and enjoyed the sounds of nature around them—the rustling of birds in the trees, the leaves tumbling along the concrete, the crunch of gravel under their feet. He and Dillon belonged to nature and the human world. If he had his way, they’d belong to each other, too.
Dillon stepped onto the back porch and paused. “What do you think Markas will do to Avan?”
“I’m not sure.” He’d never known anyone to cause problems deliberately at the Sanctuary, but he was still relatively new to the facility. Maybe, there had been other troublemakers. What did he know? “Whatever happens, I’m sure Markas had a plan.” He opened the door for Dillon. “I don’t want to talk about Avan.”
“We should.” Dillon made his way through the mudroom and kitchen to the stairs. “He opened a lot of wounds.”
“He did.” Cinders kept beside Dillon. “He wanted to cause chaos.”
“He ripped open scars I thought were healed.” Dillon paused halfway upstairs. “Are you sure you want to do this? To be with me?”
“I’m not afraid of what you’ve gone through. I’m not afraid to help you heal.” Cinders escorted Dillon to his room. “You’re strong. To get through what’s happened, you can’t quit. I’m honored to know you.”
Dillon opened the bedroom door. “When Avan screamed and I collapsed, I didn’t feel strong. I felt like I was back at the Wet Dreams building.” He shivered.
“Honey.” Cinders allowed Dillon to shut the door after they’d both entered the bedroom. He liked the privacy better anyway. Cinders tossed his sunglasses onto the desk. “I’ll be tough for both of us.”
“Thanks.” Dillon didn’t sound convinced.
“You don’t believe me.” He kicked out of his boots. “Why?”
“I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I’ve been ostracized, kicked out, laughed at, ogled, and I expect you to say you want to see the videos. If I can find them, I’ll show you. I don’t want to watch them, but I can’t lie. I’m in them. I’ve got the scars to prove I went through the situations, too. I’m afraid to show you the physical marks, but I can’t hide them, either.”
“No.” Cinders grasped Dillon’s hands and sat on the bed. He tugged Dillon forward, forcing the wolf shifter to sit on his lap. “A part of me is curious. I can see you in my mind as a highly erotic, sexy man and I’ll bet you were good in those films. The people making those pictures want believability, but most of me doesn’t care if I ever see those movies. Those are a part of your past, and I bet you threw your heart into your work—even if you didn’t want to do it. The movies shaped you, but you’re more than that one time period. I like the guy you are—the one who made it out and survived. You’ve got flaws, but they make you original. If you can’t tell, I love originality. I’ll love your scars, too.”
“I like you, Cinders.”
“Good.” Cinders patted Dillon’s ass. “Besides, we could have so much fun playing naughty cop and the mouthy greaser. Or we could be the guys who fell in love after an arrest. I don’t know.” He laughed. “I’d love to have you rev my engine.”
“You’re corny.” Dillon chuckled. He draped his arms around Cinders’ shoulders and toyed with the hairs at the base of Cinder’s skull.
“But I made you laugh.” He slid his hands into Dillon’s back pockets. “We’ll go slowly. I want to be with you, but we’ll do it at your pace. When you’re ready.” He rubbed his nose along Dillon’s. “That doesn’t mean I won’t try to kiss, touch and hold you. You’re kind of irresistible. But I respect you, and I want this to last.”
“Me, too.” Dillon half-smiled. “Cinders?” He grasped Cinders’ shoulders.
“I’m right here.” He opened Dillon’s jacket. He wanted to unwrap his present. Winning over Dillon was the ultimate prize.
“What if we aren’t compatible? We haven’t slept together.” Dillon removed his jacket and rubbed his bare arms. The T-shirt clung to his thin frame. “We could get into bed and realize we’re crap together.”
“I doubt it.” He noticed the marks on Dillon’s arms and traced the lines.
Dillon flinched. He met Cinders’ gaze but didn’t pull away.
Cinders had seen these kinds of scars before. A hundred questions bubbled into his mind, but he kept them quiet for now. Dillon could tell him about them in his own time.
Cinders held Dillon’s hand and pressed Dillon’s forearm against his lips. He’d seen the cutting scars a few times on two of the strippers from Stiff. The lines on Dillon’s skin appeared old, but still… He hated that Dillon had felt low enough to hurt himself.
“Do you want to know?” Dillon asked.
“Not until you’re ready.” He brushed his cheek over Dillon’s forearm.
Dillon stared at him. He balled his hands, and the muscle in his jaw twitched. “When I was still with Wet Dreams, I’d cut myself to feel something.” Dillon turned his arm over. “The wolf hated it, but I’d gotten so low I saw no other way out. When I felt the pain, it was a release.”
“Honey.” Cinders held Dillon’s arm as if it were glass. He couldn’t imagine being that low. Couldn’t imagine what Dillon had gone through. He’d been in control of his life, but Dillon had had none.
“They’re old. When I escaped, I vowed to stop hurting myself. The impulse is still there, but I fight it. The wolf helps. I’m…I’m not healed, but I’m free from Wet Dreams. The wolf and I are getting back on track,” Dillon said. “I don’t want to be in that headspace ever again.”
Cinders had no words. If he said he understood, he’d be wrong because he didn’t understand. If he said they’d go the distance, he had no guarantees. But he’d do his best to help Dillon in whatever way he could.
“I talked with Willow, and she hooked me up with a shrink. I know why I did what I did. He said I was punishing myself for what I saw as my weakness—for letting myself get caught and going along with the things I did at Wet Dreams. I agree with him, but I think there’s more to it than that. I didn’t feel like I was worth anything. Who could want a man who has no control over his life? A man who can’t get out of his bad situation because he’s a prisoner? Until I got that opportunity to run, I lived in fear I’d be beaten to death.”
“I’ll never do anything to you that you don’t want. I have no problem giving you control.” He’d do whatever it took to make Dillon see he wasn’t worthless, weak or out of control. “As for who would want a man like you, I do. There’s more to you than your past. It shaped you, yeah, but getting out did, too. Being here is molding you into a guy who can control his life. You’re fighting a bone-deep impulse and winning. I’m in awe of you.” He cupped Dillon’s jaw. “You’re special. You’re handsome, too.” He wished he could convince the growing bulge in his shorts to cooperate and stand down a little longer. Jesus. Dillon had to think he was a horny bastard. “I want you to feel the way I see you—strong, handsome and unstoppable.”
“I’m definitely feeling something.” Dillon shivered. “I like it.”
“Do you?” Based on the way Dillon’s cock seemed to thrum beneath the denim of his jeans, yeah, Dillon liked what was happening. Cinders grinned. “I like it, too.”
“I want to show you something.” Dillon left Cinders’ lap. He whipped his shirt over his head. His hair stood on end, but the disheveled look worked for him. His eyes sparkled, despite the fear there, too. “When I was at Wet Dreams, they weren’t nice.” He turned his back on Cinders. “If you can handle this, you can handle everything.”
Cinders paused. He swept his gaze over Dillon’s back. Holy shit. No wonder Dillon’s fur had grown in oddly—his human skin had been crisscrossed with scars. “Were you assaulted?” Cinders blurted. “Who did this?”
Dillon bowed his head. “Dirk was part of Wet Dreams. He’d been watching me. I don’t know how he knew I’d shift, but he did. He had an eye on me and knew I was wandering. I swear he pretended to find me. Once he had my confidence, he used me. I didn’t understand he was using me. I thought this was survival, then it hit me. People don’t treat each other this way. The wolves didn’t. When I didn’t comply, Dirk whipped me and used a belt on me.”
Jesus. Cinders scooted to the edge of the bed. His jaguar cried out for Dillon. The cat wanted to destroy Dirk and the Wet Dreams group, despite not knowing anyone connected to it. The guys from Stiff who knew them weren’t anywhere around as far as he knew. They’d scattered when Stiff had gone under.
“I understand if it’s too much,” Dillon said. “It’s my body, and I’m ashamed to show it. I tried to destroy me to get rid of the pain. Each cut and slash was there…I don’t know why.”
“You’re not alone.” Cinders traced the lines with his fingertips. “And I’m not going anywhere. I won’t give up.” He tugged Dillon onto his lap, with Dillon facing away from him. He hugged his wolf shifter. “I’m not letting go.”
“You’re sappy.” Dillon clutched Cinders’ arm. “But I like it.”
“Good.” Cinders kissed Dillon’s shoulder. Dillon had bared his soul. The enormity of the moment hadn’t been lost on Cinders. He cherished Dillon’s faith and trust in him. He’d shared a secret few would understand and many would fear. Not Cinders.
“So now what?” Dillon reclined on Cinders. “Where do we go from here?”
Part of Cinders wanted to make love to Dillon and prove they could keep moving forward. The rest of him needed to listen to his jaguar. The cat insisted on being with Dillon’s wolf.
Dillon turned on Cinders’ lap. “Are you changing your mind?”
“No.” He kissed the lines on Dillon’s back. The spiderweb design was sad, odd and pretty at the same time. The marks spoke of the difficulties Dillon had gone through and were there to tell the story. Cinders hated that Dillon had been assaulted but couldn’t help being thrilled he had Dillon in his arms. “My jaguar wants to be with your wolf. Not sex. Just cuddling and bonding. Shift with me?”
“You’re not afraid?”
“Of what?” He smoothed his palms over Dillon’s belly.
“Me.” Dillon stood. He blushed from his hairline to his chest.
“Why?”
“I’m not gross?” His eyes widened. “Not even now that you know the truth?”
“Nope. My jaguar loves you. My human side is coming around.” When Dillon tensed, Cinders held out his hand. “Slow down. Don’t think I don’t like you. I don’t believe in love at first sight or instant love or whatever it’s called. I doubt that kind of fast love exists. But I believe in the kind of love that happens when you find the person or shifter you’re supposed to be with and you become a team. I need you. We go forward, and we figure out what our animals already know. We’re meant to be us.” He removed the cop shirt and shimmied out of the shorts. He bared himself to Dillon. “My jaguar wants you, and he’s not backing down.”
He gave into the cat and shifted. Fur covered his body, and his muscles switched into the feline form. He swished his tail then jumped onto Dillon’s bed and stretched out.
Dillon rubbed his hands on his jeans legs.
Cinders thumped his tail and rested his head on his paws. He’d repeat a million times how much he believed in Dillon. He’d do it until Dillon accepted his words. The wolf shifter needed reassurance, and Cinders would gladly comfort him. He’d be strong enough for both of them until Dillon knew his worth.
Dillon hesitated another moment then removed his jeans and shifted into the wolf. The silvery gray hair on his head covered his body. He stretched and dug his claws into the carpet, then he climbed onto the bed. Within seconds, he curled up in the curve of Cinders’ body.
Cinders nuzzled Dillon’s neck, and a growl rumbled in Dillon’s throat. Cinders wasn’t threatened but instead thrilled. He didn’t care how long it took to fall in love with Dillon. It would happen. He had his man. The rest would fall into place. Why? Because he and Dillon had an unbreakable bond—he could feel it. Finding a man who brought out the best in him wasn’t impossible.
He drifted off to sleep. Dillon made him better. Dillon freed him. Cinders would stick with the wolf shifter, no matter what.