Epilogue
AUSTIN
One Month Later
Nervous, I only hesitated a second before knocking on the door.
“Come on in.”
Marcus sat at his desk, a laptop open in front of him. His eyes widened when he saw me.
“Hey.” He stood to give me a hug. “When they buzzed me and told me it was you, I thought they’d made a mistake.”
“Um, yeah. Well, I have something I’d been meaning to talk to you about for a while now.”
“I’m intrigued. Sit.” He pointed to the chair in front of his desk. Pictures of Marcus, Tyler, and Lillie, as well as other friends I’d heard them talk about but never met, sat on the credenza behind him. “Talk to me. Can I hazard a guess that whatever it has to do with is inside that portfolio you’re clutching?”
At his smile, I forgot to be nervous. This was Marcus. I’d known him a long time, and we were friends. “Uh, yeah. I think you have a great place here, and the time I came for that charity dance? I went home and did some sketches. Nothing fancy, but it got me thinking.”
“Oh? Ty mentioned you’re designing now and that he’s interested in having you do the apartment. Is that what this is about?”
“No, that’s something different.”
“I have a feeling this friendship of ours may prove to be an expensive one for me.”
Feeling less unsure, I grinned. “It all depends. What I thought about was how you could update Sparks. Make it more chic and urban. Right now it’s a bit dark, and with all the sparkle…”
I caught myself wrinkling my nose, and Marcus chuckled. “So you’re saying my club is outdated. Okay, hand it over. I presume you have sketches to show me in there?”
“Uh, I wasn’t criticizing you—”
“Only my decorating skills. And you’re right. I’ve owned this place for about seven years now. It’s time for a new look. Show me what you’ve got.” He held out his hand.
“Here. This sketch is of the entrance and the first bar area and then the second one in the back.” I laid out the sheets on his desk. It was odd watching him study the sketches. This was my first time showing my designs to an actual potential client. My heart pounded, and I wondered if he’d brush me off or take me seriously.
“So you don’t think I should keep anything?”
“I think if you’re going to do it, start fresh. Put in a DJ booth and have a space for the dancers to dance when they aren’t working the crowd. Get a signature color aside from the black. So maybe a bright purple or blue or green. Something that will stand out. I’d build booths into the wall and take away the small tables by the dance floor. People want to mingle, not sit at uncomfortable little tables. Your bottle service isn’t going to come from them; it comes from the groups, who’ll be in the booths.”
“You seem to know quite a bit about it.”
Time to man up, so to speak. “Well, I do, yeah. I’ve been a dancer at Man Up in the West 50s. For a while now. I know all about how it works.”
“I see. That’s James Rutledge’s place, right?”
James used his mother’s last name, not the MacKenzie surname. “Yes. You know him?”
Marcus’s eyes gleamed, and he gave me a mysterious half smile. “We’ve been talking.”
When I saw he wasn’t going to elaborate, I started stacking the papers. “Well, it was a suggestion. I thought maybe you’d like to see what I thought, and in the future—”
“The future is now. I’ve been thinking of selling part ownership in Sparks for a while.”
“You’re going to sell it to James?”
His smile grew broader. “You catch on quickly. Most likely, yes. We’re working out the details. I’m tired of spending my nights away from home.”
And with James having no social life that I’d ever seen, he’d be the perfect partner. “Tyler mentioned it to me a while ago. I hope it works out.”
“What I don’t understand is why you thought you couldn’t tell Ty or myself you worked there. Did you think we’d judge you?”
“Maybe. Maybe I judged myself as well.” I flushed hot. “I’d always said I didn’t want to ask you for help because I wanted to make it on my own. But now…” I shrugged. “I’m planning on giving up the dancing to concentrate on design.”
“We all need to find our own path.” The seriousness in Marcus’s voice surprised me. For all his playboy ways and wealth, I’d heard rumors of a difficult childhood and fractured family. “I wish you all the luck in your choice. I think you’ll be a tremendous success.”
With those words he stood, indicating the meeting was over. A bit disappointed, I slipped the sketches back into my portfolio, consoling myself that not every pitch would get me a job. “Thanks for listening to me and letting me show you my ideas.”
“What are you doing? Leave them here. I want James to look through them when we finalize the deal.”
“Oh.” Confused, I pulled them out again. “I-I wasn’t sure. I, uh, thought you’d want him to make the decision with you.”
“I’m still the controlling owner, and I love what I see. So while I can’t give you a firm date, consider yourself hired. I’ll let you know when we start construction.”
Wordlessly, I shook his proffered hand, while inside I let out a whoop of joy. I’d done this. On my own. And yes, Marcus was a friend, but he was a savvy, hard-to-please businessman first, who wouldn’t hire me if he didn’t think I had the talent. Marcus insisted on the best.
As if he read my mind, Marcus said, “And don’t think I’m hiring you because I know you and we’re friends. First of all, we’re not that friendly.” He grinned, and I laughed. “Second, I saw that penthouse you staged. The photos are on the sales website for the condo. You’re fucking good. You have talent.”
“Thanks, Marcus. I won’t let you down.”
“I never thought you would.”
When I left, I shut the door, leaned on the wall, and pulled out my phone. Where once it was Frankie I’d text with my news, now Rhoades was the first one. It upset me to think of Frankie and I drifting apart. He swore to me things were going well, and I vowed to try and be friendlier to Aaron.
I got the job. He loved my ideas.
Immediately, Rhoades typed back: I knew it. Told you so. See you at your apt.
I could never have done this without Rhoades, I thought, then corrected myself. Yes, I could. I had the talent and the drive. But I couldn’t deny what he’d given me. Acceptance. Belief in myself. Strength. Love.
I texted Frankie to tell him the news and walked out of Sparks and into the sunlight.
RHOADES
If it made Austin happy, then it made me happy as well. I let him tell his friends who owned the bodega that they no longer had to worry about losing their store and moving away.
“You are telling us the truth? Not a fairy tale?” The elderly man in the turban wiped his eyes.
“It is a fairy tale because this time you get the happy ending. Your store remains, and you’re going to get upgraded HVAC.” Austin’s smile beamed. “All thanks to Rhoades.”
“Our white knight.” Vijay laughed and slapped me on the back before handing me the green juice I’d ordered. They were right about the taste. The spicy sweetness sent a cool shock through me as I drank. It woke me up and got my blood moving. But then so did Austin. Living with him had been nothing but bliss. I achieved the peace I needed to sleep through the night…as long as Austin was next to me.
“Looks like someone else got their fairy-tale happy ending as well.” Chanan’s eyes twinkled beneath his bushy brows. “Am I right?”
I left it to Austin to tell as much or as little of our relationship as he wanted, and waited for his response. His previous abusive relationship had left him with scars that weren’t visible to most, but I saw them. He sometimes still questioned my motives and seldom held my hand or kissed me in public, but we were slowly working through that. We had the luxury of time.
In one of his rare, unexpected displays of affection, Austin slid his arms around my waist. “Yeah. We did. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but you know how it goes.”
I put my arm around his shoulder. “He made it hard for me to love him, but that’s how I knew I had to love him harder. With everything I had.”
Later that night, as we were in the car driving to the club, Austin turned to me, brow puckered with anxiety. “You know I love you now, right? I keep thinking about what you said earlier. That I made it hard for you to love me, and I don’t want it to be like that.”
“After the afternoon we spent today you still need to ask me that?” We’d gone back to the penthouse once we left the store, had a meal delivered, and spent the afternoon in bed. My body still buzzed from Austin’s mouth kissing every inch of me. “It’s been months since that night at the club when we first kissed. We’ve both changed.”
Looking relieved, Austin undid his seat belt and straddled me as the car continued its progress uptown to Man Up. “Good. I tend to get lost in myself sometimes because I’ve been alone for so long. But I need you to find me.”
My hands held him steady at the waist. “I’ll always be able to find you.” I took his hand and put it over my heart. “You’re in here. Part of my heart. It was cracked and broken before I met you, missing that one piece to make me whole. You were the missing piece of my heart.”
“I know I’m difficult sometimes, but I’m trying.”
“I know you are, as am I. And I love that about you too. You’re so stubborn and determined to do things on your own. But not everything, I’m hoping. Leaning on me doesn’t mean giving up your needs.”
Austin’s smile flashed bright in the darkness. “No worries there. You take care of my needs very nicely, thank you.” He bent to kiss me, and his lips tasted cool and fresh.
We reached the club, Austin becoming progressively more nervous as we walked inside. I took his hand and squeezed it.
“James will be fine. He had an idea you weren’t staying forever.”
“Rhoades is right. And I don’t often say that.”
We spun about to see James standing at the entrance to the club floor. His gaze swept over us, lingering on our clasped hands. “So. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on? I think we should go to the bar and have a drink.” He quirked a brow. “I have a feeling there might be congratulations in order.”
Following him, I murmured in Austin’s ear, “Don’t let him bait you. Say exactly what you want, and I’ll back you up.”
“I heard that, big brother.”
The three of us sat at the bar, and José, having seen us coming, had the scotch ready for James and me and poured out a margarita for Austin.
Austin picked up his glass. “To new beginnings. I’m leaving the club, James. I’ll stay until you find someone to replace me, but I’m not going to dance anymore. Only for Rhoades.”
“I told you once before that you’re irreplaceable, and I meant it, but I can’t be angry with you for leaving. I knew you weren’t staying long. None of you guys are. It’s the nature of the job.”
We drank, and I watched Austin scroll through his phone. “Heard from Frankie?”
“Yeah. He said he’d be here by now, but he isn’t, right?”
At James’s shake of his head, Austin’s lips tightened. I placed a hand on his arm. “You can’t assume every time he’s late that it’s because Aaron did something to him. You told me yourself you both wanted to work on the relationship between the two of you. That attitude isn’t helping.”
Austin’s shoulders slumped. “You’re right. It’s my nature to think everyone’s going to let me down at some point.”
“People do that even if they love you. It’s called being human and making mistakes.” I squeezed his shoulder. “But then you talk and work through it. That’s being adult about things.” A memory assailed me. “My father used to call it being a man.”
“Man up, James. That’s what he used to tell me when I’d cry.” Staring into his glass, James spoke so softly both Austin and I had to lean forward to hear him. “I named the club after it, so I’d never forget him.”
Our eyes met. Neither of us would forget him for entirely separate reasons. And out of that darkness, we’d managed to forge our sometimes uneasy, often rocky, but slowly mending relationship.
“There he is,” Austin said with relief and jumped out of his chair. Frankie approached warily with a man by his side I presumed was Aaron. Brawny, with dark eyes and hair, he had a scar bisecting one dark eyebrow, and I understood why Austin worried. Aaron looked as though he could pick Frankie up with one hand and shake him.
“I was wondering if you were coming tonight.” Austin hugged Frankie, then acknowledged Aaron. “Hey.”
Aaron nodded. “Hey.”
“We got caught in traffic. Aaron insisted on driving as usual.”
“As usual, you’re not telling the whole story, Frankie. We were late leaving ’cause you forgot your stuff at the house and we had to go back.”
I saw Austin bristle at Aaron’s tone. “Well, you’re here now. That’s all that matters. So I’ve got something to tell you.”
Frankie folded his arms. “You’re leaving the club.”
“Uh. Yeah.”
“I saw that weeks ago.” He grabbed Austin around the neck and hugged him tight. “I’m happy for you.” Austin returned the hug. “Really happy.”
“Yeah, well, I’m going to be doing the design for the shelter and then this block of apartments Rhoades bought near where I lived. And I still have to do the rest of the model apartments for the condo. And now probably Sparks.”
“Sounds like you’re on your way,” Aaron said carefully. “I’ve been trying to find work, but it ain’t easy with a record. They say it don’t matter, but I know they don’t wanna hire someone like me who’s been in jail.”
Much as I wanted to dislike Aaron, he did have a point. And I could get him a job on construction with my guys. But not until I spoke to Austin.
“I’m sure you’ll find something soon.” Austin’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, and I was glad I’d kept my mouth shut. He’d explained to me that Frankie took Aaron back and swore their relationship hadn’t been physically abusive, despite some shoving and cursing. I agreed that Aaron needed to prove himself worthy of Frankie who, as I could see, was a sweetheart of a man who wanted to be loved.
“So you’ll come over one night and hang out with us? We’ll have dinner, and you can get to know Rhoades.”
I gave Frankie a smile. “I’d like that.”
“Can I bring Aaron?”
“Sure.” Austin gave me a tight smile. “That’d be great.”
“Okay, well, I gotta go get ready. Aaron’s not staying. He doesn’t want to be around when I dance. Plus all the alcohol is too tempting now that he gave up drinking.”
Austin’s brows shot up in surprise, but he didn’t respond.
“One last time for me.” Austin gave me a kiss. “I’ll see you afterward.”
“See you later.”
Aaron gave Frankie a kiss and a hug and us a tentative smile and wave goodbye. They all dispersed, leaving me behind with James.
“Go on.” I finished my drink and poured another from the bottle José wisely left behind.
“What?”
“Aren’t you going to laugh at me? Or make fun of me falling for one of your dancers?”
With that maddening serenity, James set his glass on the bar top. “Is that what you still believe?”
I had to admit I was like Austin in that regard, finding it hard to give up the old ways of thinking. But James was right. “No. I guess I don’t. Not anymore. I’ll be the first to admit I held on to old grudges for far too long. And”—I paused long enough for James to meet my gaze—“it’s been nice to have someone to talk to who knows me. Aside from Austin.”
“I didn’t think you two did all that much talking.”
“Fuck you,” I said cheerfully and he rewarded me with a smile. I slung my arm around his shoulders as the music began to pound. The dancers converged onstage, but as from the beginning, all I saw was Austin. His grace and beauty shone even in the psychedelic lighting. Cort, the big blond cowboy, hopped off the stage and made his way through the crowd, swinging the rope he carried with him until, to my shock, it landed around me. He pulled me from the barstool, leaving behind James, who, on this incredible night, laughed harder than I’d ever seen him, and brought me up onstage to where Austin swung around on the pole.
Feeling awkward, I waited while most of the club gathered around the stage and began to clap. James, I noticed, remained at the bar and tipped his glass to me when our eyes met. Austin jumped off the pole and stood before me, chest heaving, eyes bright and shining. He took my face between his hands and kissed me hungrily, sliding his tongue past my lips to meet mine. The sounds of the claps and whistles faded in the background, and I held on to him, electricity running like wildfire through me at his touch.
“From now on I hope you know not to tell me no. It only makes me more determined to get what I want.” I smoothed back the waves he’d fluffed out, to see his laughing eyes.
“I was stupid, you know? I tried to push you away, but you refused to be denied. You kept coming back. If I learned anything, it’s that I should listen to my heart.”
“Oh?” I smiled into his eyes. “What’s your heart telling you now?”
“That there’s no denying how much I love you.”
THE END
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