Chapter 19
Dylan
Miami. It’s hot as hell here. Normally I like to have the time to wander around and check out the festival grounds before everything starts up, but I’m not into it at all today. Jett’s with the band. For once he pulled himself out of bed before Shayla and I, and he was gone when we got up.
Shayla wants to see everything before the gates open. I’m walking around with her, lagging behind. It’s too damn hot out here to enjoy anything, even in the rare pieces of shade. The space is wide open. It’s basically a huge field of dry, burned grass. Yet somehow I’m feeling claustrophobic.
She’s finally done looking at jewelry or whatever it is at one of the stands. “We’ve seen everything there is to see, Shayla. Let’s go get something to eat.” I’m not that hungry, but I can’t stand being here another moment. And I could use some more coffee.
“Sure. I’m starving.”
I grab her arm as she turns to head towards the stage. Her nose wrinkles up in that cute way she has sometimes, when she’s about to ask a question.
I speak up before she can. “Not backstage. It’s too crazy back there. I want to get out of here for awhile, we’ll be here long enough later on.”
“Do we have time?”
“Yeah, tons.”
She gets her phone out but I’m too impatient. I slide my arm around her and take her in the direction of the nearest exit.
“What about Jett? I can text him.”
“He’s busy. We’ll find him later, when we get back.”
She raises her eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. Maybe she can tell that I’m not in the mood to be around him right now. “There’s a place I like that’s close by.”
“Have you been here a lot?”
“Enough.” It’s a great city. I like it here, although even being here’s not doing it for me today.
“This is my first time.”
“Then we can spend some time looking around tomorrow.”
She slips her arm through mine as we walk outside the grounds. “What’s up with you?”
I shrug. “Nothing.”
“Come on. You’ve been all unhappy for days now. Are you pissed off with me for some reason?”
Normally I like how blunt Shayla can be. Not today.
But that’s not her fault. “No. Not at you.”
“Jett then?”
I don’t answer. She gets the message.
“Why?”
“I’m not pissed at him.” Not exactly. “It’s just that this whole thing with us…it’s starting to feel familiar. Like last time.”
We get into the back seat of the cab I flag down. “What do you mean?”
“Like this is how it started out with the last couple I got involved with. The way it ended up with them wanting to hide what was going on. First it was smaller things. Like, oh, it’s a family event. You can come along, but just tell everyone you’re a friend. That was fine for the occasional family get-togethers. Whatever. But then, it went on from there. Oh, it’s a work thing. Oh, it’s this or that. To the point where it became clear that they wanted to hide all the time. Wanted to appear normal and act differently behind closed doors. I can’t live that way. I’m no-one’s dirty little secret.”
The cafe’s just opening up when we get to it so we have the patio to ourselves. They take our orders right away. Shayla gazes around, taking everything in before she speaks up. “But it’s different. Jett’s kind of out there in the world. In the public eye. He’s getting pretty famous.”
“There’s always a reason if you want there to be. And okay, say everyone in Tailspin becomes super stars. Like they’re on their way to being.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, how’s it going to be any different then? If Tailspin gets famous, don’t you think there’s even more reason for Jett to want to hide being with both of us?”
The moment the waiter brings our food over, hunger overtakes me. I dig right in.
Shayla does the same. “Are you going to eat all of your toast?”
“Have some if you want.” She grabs a slice from my plate and covers it in a thick layer of jam. “I never thought of that.”
“Yeah, well I have. It’s not fun being shoved into a closet that I don’t want to be in. I had enough of that back in school. I’m not doing it again now.”
“But don’t you think that once Tailspin’s famous, they’re set. They’ll be a lot more untouchable once they’ve made it. If there’s people out there that judge them, they’ll be a tiny minority. The band could take it then. A planned attack by Ian-types now? That could ruin their chances before they even get a real shot.”
I swallow some of the iced coffee Shayla convinced me to get. This stuff isn’t half bad.
And she might have a point. “Maybe.”
“But?”
“But does Jett actually want to ever come out about us?” That’s what’s really bugging me. As much as I want to be with him and Shayla, there’s no way I want to end up like I was in my last threesome.
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“Because he didn’t even tell his bandmates, Shayla. Not until it came to the point where he had to, remember? And they’re like his best friends. He even called them his family once or twice. If you don’t tell people who are that close about something that’s important to you, then why would you let it slip to a bunch of strangers that can actually damage you over it?”
She sips at her lemonade. “If a lot of people found out about our threesome, would that affect your job, Dylan?”
“Not really, I don’t think. I know, I know. It’s different for Jett.”
“But what if it did? Would you choose your career, the one that you’ve worked so hard to build up your name in, over us? Or would you pick us over the job?”
That trips me up. I down some more coffee, trying to figure it out.
My head starts to burn. Huh? The sun’s shifted enough so it’s moved beyond the massive, brightly-colored umbrella that’s our only source of shade. I stand up to adjust it and when I sit down again, I take hold of Shayla’s hand.
“Shayla, I love my work. It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do and the only thing I’ve ever been good at. But if there was no choice, I’d give it all up to be with you and Jett.”
Her pretty eyes are glued to mine. “Really?”
“Easily. Of course I would. Why do you sound so surprised?”
“Because that’s the first time you’ve ever said anything like that. I mean, it’s just different to hear you say it. It’s nice.”
“I wouldn’t be in this relationship if I wasn’t sure. About both of you. Three’s better, no question. But it can be harder, too. It’s still worth it.”
I shake my head, my grip tightening on her small, warm hand. “But that’s the thing. I’m not sure anymore about Jett. How much he’d fight to be with us. I wouldn’t really blame him if he backs out.” I pause for a moment. “Well, actually I would. I’d blame him. I’d understand why, but I’d be beyond pissed at him. And so I want to know where he stands now.”
It’s still too bright out here. With my free hand, I grab my sunglasses from the table and put them on with one hand, not wanting to let go of Shayla. “You know, doing sound for live shows is pretty close to being the perfect job. So many people want to do it, and not very many can pull it off. Doing what I do for a living is a dream come true. The travelling, the music. It’s all great. And what I like the most is the freedom. But the day I’d have to stop being who I am, or being with the woman or man I want to be with, is the day I’ll be out finding another line of work. No career in the world is worth giving that up for.”
I lift Shayla’s hand up and kiss it. I have to ask her the question I’m not sure I want to know the answer to. “I know you love your work too. So what would you do if our threesome affected your job?”
The ice clinks against the sides of her glass as she picks it up. “You know, I’ve been thinking about that a lot. I still can’t imagine what any of my coworkers will think. Or how it could affect my future there. But, yeah. I’m with you, Dylan. As much as I want to do what I do for work, I couldn’t let it get in the way of who I love.”
Love? My brow furrows and she laughs. “Yes. Love. I love you both. I think I never stopped loving you, Dylan. I didn’t know it until I saw you again. I need you and Jett both. No job is worth giving you up for. And besides, there’s about a million other things either one of us could do for work. Lots of choices out there for us.”
“How’d you get so smart, Shayla?”
She grins at me. “I’ve always been smart. Maybe you just never noticed before.”
“Highly possible.”
“But it’s different for us than Jett. There’s way more at stake for him. And it’s not just him. It’s the whole band.”
“I know it. But our work’s important too. If we’re all in this threesome together, everyone’s decisions affect everyone else. Not everything in the world revolves around Tailspin.” I check the time. It’s later than I thought. “I have to get back for sound check.”
The street’s quiet when we leave the cafe. Shayla shields her eyes against the sun. “I think it’ll be a great festival. I think there won’t be any trouble. We’ll all be super low-key. Nothing bad will happen.”
“Yeah, sure.” I’m still thinking about what she said before. Love. Never thought about that. Just that there’s no-one in the world I’d rather be with.
If that’s love, I’m in.