Chapter 3
Shayla
The message takes my breath away. I listen again.
I’ve got it.
My dream job.
For the first time in months, my stomach isn’t weighed down with dread. I feel so light. Like I’m floating on air.
I exhale slowly. I want to call Jett. He’s the only one who gets just how much I’ve been wanting this. He’ll be so happy that for once, things are going my way.
But my phone’s dead, and he’s probably at practice. He’s been the only one winning lately. His band is headed in the right direction. This tour is going to be his big break. I knew it the first time he told me about it. He won’t come out and say it, but he feels it too. He’s a killer guitarist, and he clicks perfectly with the other members. Together they all have something special. It’s there every single time they play.
From the moment he joined Tailspin, it already sounded like they’ve been playing together for years. They’ve got chemistry. That’s what it is. And it comes through in their music and all of their live shows. Everyone in the audience can feel it too.
I listen to my voice mail once again and then I lean back against the fence surrounding my parent’s backyard. The rough, weathered wood scrapes against my skin and I hardly notice.
The voice that’s just made everything change is crisp and efficient. Not a word wasted. Details will be sent via email later today, she says. I suck in a deep breath, the heavy scent of flowers in the hot air almost overwhelming me. I can’t believe they smell the same as they did a few minutes ago. Because everything in my life is about to change forever. I’m torn between running around shouting, and calling everyone I know to tell them the news.
It’s thousands of miles away from here. That’s the other part of my dream. To live in New York. I’m going to be moving. Jett is the only reason I’d want to stay here, but he’s going to go out on tour soon. He can visit me there. We can live in the city together after the tour ends.
The amount of work I have ahead of me now hits me hard. I’m expected to be able to start as soon as possible. I have to find a place to live. Pack up. And get ready for my brand-new, exciting and scary career. I can’t help but play the message one more time. HR wants to schedule me in for a phone call tomorrow afternoon to go over a few things.
I take a deep breath that should be calming. I hold it for as long as I can, which isn’t very long. Still, it works. I’m calm. Zen. At peace.
For a few seconds. Until the rush of excitement slams back into me with full force.
I squeeze my eyes shut tight and turn my face to the sun. The heat on my skin takes my breath away and my heart races with the sudden burn.
There’s panic mixed in with my excitement, but I don’t care. No matter how big of a change it’s going to be, I’m ready for it.
Nothing is going to stop me from making this work.
Suddenly, life is full of possibilities. Working at a library in New York is my ultimate career goal. School was such a grind, and it went on for so long. I loved what I was studying, sure. But I nearly drowned under the crushing work load that was required.
Plus it was starting to look like I was going to spend my entire life working at the local library. If I could even hold onto my job for much longer, that is.
It was the only position open when I graduated, and since then funding has gotten slashed so much, everything’s even worse. I’ve been putting out fires all the time instead of moving our library forward into the future and making it great. I’m definitely next in line to get the axe in the next round of layoffs that could come down any time.
My hours have been cut little by little pretty much every month. I didn’t know what I was going to do for work once the hammer came down, or how I could ever pay off my student loan debts. The weight of it all was starting to crush me.
Now, everything’s gone and done a total 180. Like stepping out of the darkness into the sun after a long, cold winter.
I’m super excited to share my brand new happiness with Jett. And to celebrate with just him. I can call everyone else later. Right now, I need to tell the man I love. I grab my keys, hoping my car will make it across town.
The door to Jett’s place is cracked open when I get there. I knock out of habit, even as I pull it open and head inside.
Faint guitar sounds are coming from the practice room he’s set up for himself. I grin as I hear my favorite Tailspin song.
He’s about to get all the success he’s ever wanted. Now, I will be too.
I stand and listen until the song’s done. It would sound so much better without the walls between us muffling it but if I go in now, the band might stop playing. I bounce in place, unable to keep from moving to the music. The energy I have pouring through me is like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
I can’t wait to have Jett’s arms around me. To have him kissing me. Then lifting me onto the bed and…
The song ends and I burst through the door. Every guy in the room snaps their heads up from their instruments to stare at me, startled.
But I’m barely aware of the rest of the band. I only have eyes for Jett.
“Hey, you.” Jett’s eyes light up when he sees me. “Let’s take a few, guys.”
He takes me out into the hallway, his sexy smile making him look so hot. I always think he can’t get any more gorgeous than he already is, but then he smiles at me and I melt.
Before I can tell him my amazing news, he’s kissing me. I lean into him, my heart racing. It won’t be easy to be apart from him, but we can do it. We were already going to be, when he goes out on tour. This will just make it a little longer.
There’s nobody in the world who I’d rather be with. Long distance won’t be easy, but I know we can pull it off until after he’s done touring. We’ll have the rest of our lives to be together after everything’s settled.
“I have news. Big news.” I can’t resist pressing my lips to his just one more time. His hands slip into my hair and he pulls me in close.
“What’s that?”
I’m panting a little as we break our kiss. Jett’s eyes are gleaming like he’s about to carry me upstairs to his bedroom.
“I can’t believe it. I heard back from the Bensen Public Library. I’ve got the job.”
His smile fades. He doesn’t pick me up and spin me around like I expect him to.
He doesn’t look happy at all.
“Bensen? The one in New York?”
“Yes.” I tilt my head quizzically. He takes a small step back. “You know that’s the one I’ve always wanted.” I’d been checking around and applying everywhere I could, ever since the possibility of being laid off was getting closer to becoming a reality. But the Bensen has always been the only place that ever mattered to me. I’ve wanted to work there ever since I graduated.
Jett knows that. His reaction doesn’t make sense. I frown back at him, and finally he speaks.
“You always said you had no chance there. Not until you had a few years of experience, and that even then it would be tough to get in.”
“I thought that was true. But I have what they want. I’m in. I’ll be at the very lowest rung, the very bottom. Probably getting everyone’s coffee and tidying up like ninety-nine percent of the time. But the doors this position will open for me are going to be incredible.”
“You were going to join us on tour when you got your vacation time. And you were expecting to be laid off too, so you said you’d probably be with us for most of the summer. Remember? How’s that going to happen now?”
Jett’s really upset, and I don’t understand why. I reach out for him again, and he doesn’t move away. But he doesn’t react when I stroke his arm either.
What the hell? No-one gets why I love books so much that I want them to be the biggest part of my career. Every week, someone else tells me it’s all about digital, that I’ll be out of a job in no time. It’s happened so much, I don’t even argue anymore. Jett’s the only one who gets me.
He always has. So why isn’t he as excited as I am?
Maybe he’s just in shock. I know I still am, even now.
But the way he’s acting is making me go cold.
“Nothing’s going to change,” I begin, but his eyebrows shoot up. “I mean, between us. I’ll be moving to New York, so of course that’s a huge change. But you and I, we’re all good. We were already going to be apart for your tour.”
I stare into his brown eyes, and for once I can’t read what’s there. “You can move there with me when you’re done touring.”
His eyes drill into mine. “You’ve already decided all of this?”
Huh? “I haven’t decided it, it’s what makes sense. You know this is what I’ve always wanted. This job at the Bensen is a dream come true.”
“Right. So you’re leaving. Just. Like. That.” He takes a step backwards.
“They do want me there as soon as possible. But you’re not leaving for awhile yet. You can come along with me now.”
I think it would be so much fun, and kind of romantic. Taking off and exploring New York together. But clearly, it’s the exact wrong thing to say. And I don’t get why. I’m supportive of Jett and I always have been. I go to all of his shows. I do everything I can to help out the bands he’s been part of, ever since we met.
And I’m more than happy to do it. I love it. Almost as much as I love him.
He’s staring at me like I’ve betrayed him. “If you want to go, then go ahead.”
“Why are you being like this?”
“Like what? Unhappy that you’re leaving me? Moving halfway across the country and leaving me behind? That’s not how it works if you’re in love with someone. You don’t want to be here? Great. Go on. Start your new life without me.”
I feel like I’m falling. “Jett, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m not leaving you.”
“Right. So you’re going to work from here, long-distance?”
“We’re us. Nothing can come between us.”
“Then we should be making plans for our life together. You know. Like I told you all about the tour and we figured it out so you could come along. I didn’t decide anything for you.” He yanks his arm away from my hand. “Since you’ve already made up your mind to leave, you might as well do it now.”
“Jett.” I don’t even know what to say. I’ve never seen him act like this before.
“Go on.” His eyes spark with annoyance and he gestures sharply at the front door.
This doesn’t make sense at all. We should talk later, when everything’s had a chance to sink in. He’ll see how it can all work out just fine for us. Both of us.
But right now, I’m as annoyed with him as he is with me. “Fine.” Spinning away from him, I toss the words over my shoulder. “We can talk tonight.”
He shakes his head. “This is it, Shayla. It’s over between us.”
What?
“Things don’t have to change.” I turn back to face him. “You can visit me when you get breaks in the tour, instead of me visiting you when I can.”
His lips tighten into a thin, serious line. “You’ve already decided to leave, on your own. It’s best you go now.”
This doesn’t have to be the end of us. Why can’t he see that?
His eyes narrow. “If you want to leave, do it.”
I don’t want to leave him when things are this messed up. But we need a break from each other before worse things are said. Things that can’t be taken back. “Fine. Good to know that your dream is more important than mine. As if you would’ve backed out of the tour if I couldn’t come along for part of it.”
I need Jett to respond. We stare each other down like we’re no longer on the same side.
He doesn’t say a word. And there’s no way I can talk to him right now. Not when I’m this angry.
I walk out the door and sit in my car for a moment. Surely he’ll come after me.
But he doesn’t. Without a look back, I drive home.
I check my phone obsessively all evening. Nothing. I almost call him so many times, but I hold back. He needs to apologize. I’m sure he will after he cools off.
I don’t hear from him the next day. Or the next week.
Not ever.