Chapter 18
Shayla
The highway sign flashes past almost before I register what it says. Miami. 250 miles.
We’ll get in late tonight. The festival’s only a day away. No matter what else is going on, it’s always in the back of my mind. I can’t get away from thinking about it. And even though they’re both refusing to talk about it anymore, I can tell that Dylan and Jett are worried too.
Dylan’s napping. Jett’s working through something on one of their songs with Bailly. I’m too restless, too tired of being on the bus to settle down. I usually love long stretches of time. They give me a great chance to read. Tonight, I just can’t get into it.
I text Leah to see if she’s free to talk. I haven’t even told her about Jett and Dylan yet. I need to talk to someone. I tap out a message.
She doesn’t reply. I check the time. Makes sense. It’s a week night and it’s late in New York.
But it’s not quite too late to call the other side of the country. Almost. I decide to chance it.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Shayla?” She sounds surprised, but thankfully not like I’ve woken her up. “It’s so good to hear from you! How are you? How’s work?” Just hearing her voice is so soothing, I relax and sink further down into the seat.
With a pang of guilt, I realize it’s been a long time since we’ve spoken. That’s unusual for us. I like talking to her. And I haven’t even told her I’m touring around with Tailspin.
“I don’t mean to call so late.” I don’t even know where to start. How can I tell her in one short phone call about everything in my life changing so much and so fast?
“Is something wrong?” She sounds concerned. If I tell her everything, will she worry about me more than she already does?
“No. Yes.” I pause. “Kind of.”
“What is it? No matter what it is, you can talk to me. You know that.”
“Well, it’s about Jett. I don’t know what to do.” And although I only mean to tell her the basics for now, it all comes pouring out of me. Jett. Dylan. The tour. The festival. Everything.
Her silence lasts longer than I want it to. I take a deep breath before I ask. Do I really want to know what she’s thinking now? “Mom? Are you upset with me?”
“No. Of course not. Why would I be? You haven’t done anything wrong. It’s a lot to take in. That’s all. It’s rather a different kind of situation you’re in, isn’t it.”
I have to laugh. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
“You know, Shayla. One man is trouble enough. And now you have two on your hands. That alone won’t be easy. But I remember Dylan from back when you were in school together. It’s hard to imagine him as a grown man now. But I always liked him. Does he make you happy?”
“Yes. He does. And being back with Jett is great too. It’s just that his life is so different from mine now. And Dylan, even though he’s not in a famous band, he might as well be. I don’t know if we should be together. All three of us. It’s causing a lot of conflict for everyone around us.”
I don’t know why I said that. But once it’s out there, it feels true. I’ve been doubting us. How can I be?
But I am.
“Darling. Do you doubt them? Dylan and Jett, I mean. Are you unsure of how they feel about you?”
“No. Not at all.” That’s about the only thing I am sure of these days.
“And you have feelings for both of them?”
I don’t have to think about that. “More than any man I’ve ever known.”
“Then everyone else is just going to have to live with it. I know it won’t be easy. People don’t like to accept differences. But give them time. They will. Anyone who doesn’t, doesn’t matter.”
“But it could mess with Jett’s career. And not just him, but the whole band’s future.”
“Some things you can’t control, Shayla. You know that. It’s a risk. But so is being in love. Jett will have to decide for himself what he wants most in the world. Being in a famous band, or being with both of you.”
I only wanted to talk to my mother to get this off my chest. I never thought she’d be so insightful. Because that’s really what it comes down to. So simple.
But not so easy.
“Shayla, you don’t sound very happy. Your relationship should be making you happy most of the time. At its core, it should be a good one. All you have to do is ask yourself if that’s true. Then you’ll know what to do. Maybe you could come home and visit. I miss you. Getting some distance might let you get more perspective.”
Watching the empty road fly by outside the window, it’s tempting. It would be so easy just to pick up and get away from whatever we’re heading to in Miami. But even if there was enough time, I can’t leave Jett and Dylan to face the festival on their own.
“I can’t right now, Mom. The timing won’t work. But I’ll try and visit as soon as I can. I promise.”
“That’s great, Shayla. Come any time you can.”
“I will. I have to go now.”
“It’s so good to talk to you, Shayla. Take care, and make sure you’re having some fun.”
My phone vibrates just after I hang up. It’s a text from Leah, checking if everything’s okay with me. Quickly I reply to let her know that I am, and that we can catch up when it’s not so late for her.
I already feel so much better just from talking to my mother, I can’t even believe it. Most of the worry has drained out of me. At least for now. It’s nice to remember that there’s a whole other world out there that doesn’t revolve around tours and fame and music. And rules and conflict.
From what I can hear, Jett’s still working with Bailly. I walk back to where Dylan’s sleeping. He’s awake now, tapping at his phone.
“Hey.” His face lights up when he sees me. And in that instant, I know. There’s no question. I’ll do whatever I need to, to be with him and Jett. We can take on anything.
We have to.