Romulus

The shuttle groans, shakes and rattles. I’m pushing her beyond her limits, deeper and deeper into Saturn’s storm, filed by anger, fear, and pure zeal.

I will find what I’ve come for.

Or die trying.

* * *

Alexa

I wait for Romulus to apologize, but he doesn’t come.

Figures.

Why would a pigheaded Elban start showing emotions now?

I try to be patient, to hold out, to let him make the first move to reconciliation, but after three days in my room I’m at the end of my rope.

Frustrated and angry, I go look for him.

He’s not in the arena.

Not at the helm.

Not in his quarters.

The ship is big, but it’s not that big. I turn the whole ship upside down, but he’s nowhere to be found. My anger slowly but surely turns to worry.

Did he just vanish?

I turn to the ship’s computer. I should be able to track his heat signature… or something like that. I try to figure out the controls, but it’s beyond me.

At my wit’s end, I try to just talk to the damn thing.

“Computer, where is Romulus?”

“Error.”

Error? That’s not good. I try again.

“Computer, update status on Romulus Valerius.”

“Operative Romulus is currently in shuttle L1X1.”

He’s in the shuttle? But…

“Compute, what is the location of shuttle L1X1?”

A small blip appears on the screen, and my blood runs cold.

That can’t be right.

That’s….

Right in the middle of Saturn.

* * *

Romulus

The ship is vibrating so hard my vision is blurry, but still I push her on.

Come on, you sack of bolts. Almost there.

My screen beeps with an incoming message. Ah, I was wondering when she’d start to miss me.

“Alexa,” I answer. “Hello.”

“Have you lost your goddamned mind?!” Alexa shouts.

“I have,” I answer.

She has no idea just how much, but she’ll learn.

If the shuttle holds.

“Come back here, right this instant!”

“I can’t do that,” I say. “Not yet.”

“Why not?!”

“You’ll see.”

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?! You don’t have to do that! I forgive you! Is that what you want to hear? I forgive you!”

That is what I wanted to hear. Part of it, at least.

I also want to hear her moan my name, hear her whisper for me to go on, do it harder, keep it up, just a little longer… all in good time.

I haven’t deserved her forgiveness yet.

I’ve let my animal instincts get the best of me. I’ve treated her poorly, given her mixed signals, played with her emotions.

That’s not right.

She deserves better.

I’m starting to see that now.

“I’ll be back,” I tell Alexa.

And then the transmission cuts out — I’m too deep inside of Saturn. No one can save me now.

* * *

Alexa

You asshole!

Jerk!

Inconsiderate ass!

How can you do this to me?

I punch the control screen the moment Romulus’s feed cuts out. The dull, throbbing pain in my knuckles does little to distract me from the stabbing pain I feel in my heart.

Romulus is on a suicide mission.

Why? I have no idea.

I can’t pretend to understand the warrior.

He’s an enigma to me.

It’s like he hates me and loves me at the same time.

Kinda how I feel about him.

He’s rude, cocky, arrogant… everything I can’t stand in a man.

And yet, I can’t stop thinking about him.

Can’t stop thinking about that kiss.

About that smoldering stare.

That hand on my throat.

That smack on my ass.

It all meant something.

It has to.

No man’s ever looked at me like that. No man’s made me feel this way. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t want him to die. I want him here, by my side.

He doesn’t even have to talk. He doesn’t need to explain himself.

All he needs to do is hold my hand.

* * *

Romulus

The shuttle is pelted in the storm. The walls dent and groan, barely surviving under the strain. I am ecstatic.

It’s true!

I pump my fist in the air. My readings have been correct. I pray this’ll be enough, to the gods in the old world and the new, for the shuttle is on its very last legs.

I might not have enough juice to make it back.

* * *

Alexa

I sit on the floor, my head resting against the control panel. I’ve tried to contact Romulus again and again, but his shuttle is not responding.

I feel too worn out to even cry. It’s like I lost something great before I ever had it. I can picture a future that slipped right through my fingers.

All my life I’ve been avoiding men. Putting all my energy into my career; first my bachelors, then my masters, then my PhD. People asked, of course. Why aren’t you dating? Why aren’t you going out? Aren’t you lonely?

I’d smile politely. I’m very busy this semester, I’d tell them. But don’t you worry about me. There’s a cute guy in my class. We have lunch together. So, you know.

A complete lie.

There were cute guys, sure — but they sure as hell weren’t having lunch with me. And why would they?

If I’m perfectly honest with myself, I never felt worthy of their affection anyway. Tom made sure of that when he humiliated me in front of the entire school.

Oh, you actually thought you were going to prom with me? Really? No, I just lot a bet, to be honest. See you later, piggy.

There I was, all dressed up and no-one to dance with. I cried all the way home, and made a solemn vow to myself.

Never again.

Never trust a guy, and you can’t get hurt.

See? I should have listened. The moment I maybe start caring about a guy, and he hops in a shuttle to the center of Saturn.

Am I so repulsive that a guy literally wants to die after he kissed me?

Hot tears stream down my face.

Guess I’m not too worn out to cry after all.

Come on, Romulus, you arrogant alien bastard. Live.

Beep-beep. Beep-beep.

“Incoming transmission.”

I’m up and at the controls in a second.

“Alexa?”

The sound is scrambled, the vision blurry, but I recognize Romulus’s voice.

He’s alive!

“I’m here!” I scream. “I’m here!”

“I’m coming in hot,” he says. “Open the shuttle bay doors and stand clear. I can’t slow her down!”

I look for the right controls, but operating spaceships it not my forte.

“Warning! Warning! Collision imminent!” the ship rattles on.

“Yeah, I know,” I mutter under my breath. “Come on, where are you?!”

I notice the red buttons labeled shuttle-bay doors, and ram down on all off them. On the radar, I see a small blip approaching our vessel at blistering speed.

This better work.

The entire ship rocks back and forth — Romulus crashed right into it. I run down towards the docking bay, my heart beating a million miles per minute. The moment I turn the corner, I freeze.

A smoldering wreck is all that is left of the shuttle. I drop down to my knees, my hands covering my face, my emotions getting the best of me.

“Didn’t know you were that fond of the shuttle,” a deep voice says. “We have more, you know.”

I open my eyes.

Romulus!

He’s bleeding, covered in cuts and bruises, but alive!

I jump straight into his arms, planting a firm kiss on his lips. I’m not letting this chance slip, not this time.

“Whoa—” he mumbles, and he’s cut off by my lips pressing against his. His arms wrap around me and lift me up, and my heart is so full of emotion it could burst.

When he lowers me down to the ground, I slap him right across the cheek with my open palm. He deserves that, too!

“What were you thinking?!” I say. “You’re insane! I could have lost you!”

He looks up at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of surprise and lust. For a second, I both fear and hope he’s going to grab me again, choke and spank and hold and touch and fuck me, hard and without protection…

Instead, he cracks a smile.

“I deserved that,” he says.

“You’re damn right you did. What was that stunt about?!”

“There’s a lot I haven’t told you, Alexa.”

I have to bite on my tongue to keep from saying Really? I hadn’t noticed. You are an open book, Romulus. I’ve never met anyone quite as talkative, really!

Instead I am silent and wait for him to continue.

“I… I don’t know where to start.”

“Try at the beginning.”

“I’ve never done this before. Not in decades, at least. I brought you something. Wait here.”

Romulus turns and heads back into the smoldering wreckage. He has a slight limp, and even though he’s probably too proud to admit it, I can see he’s hurt quite a bit. It’s a miracle he survived the crash, even. The shuttle is mostly twisted metal now.

He returns with his hands held behind his back.

“Here,” he says.

Romulus pulls out the largest diamond I’ve ever seen in my life. He has to carry it with both hands, and for a man his size, that’s saying something.

“W-what,” I stammer. “What’s this?”

“A diamond,” he answers.

“I can see that, but… why?!”

He frowns.

“You do not like it?”

“No, it’s gorgeous, I’m just… confused.”

“It is my apology,” he says. “Victoria, she told me that diamonds are part of the human mating ritual. In the storms of Saturn, it rains diamonds, molded by the intense pressure found in the center. If you go deep enough, that is.”

“So you nearly killed yourself just to get me a diamond?”

Romulus nods. “Is it not big enough?”

“Oh, it’s big enough allright,” I laugh. I’m so overwhelmed I don’t even know what to say. “Diamonds are a part of the ‘human mating ritual’, yes. Usually they are used in a proposal. You know, for marriage. For life.”

Romulus nods, as if he fully understands the gravity of my words.

“I don’t think you understand,” I say. “I said marriage.”

“Yes.”

“Which humans generally do once. That’s the idea, anyway.”

“Yes.”

“Is something getting lost in translation here?”

Romulus grabs my hand and drops down to one knee, and my heart leaps right into my throat.

“Alexa Oakley, I formally request that you’ll be my mate. Do you accept?”

Is this… is this a proposal?

This is not how I pictured my proposal would go. I always imagined a picnic, a glass of wine in my hand, the Eiffel tower in the distance… not a bloodied alien warrior cupping a diamond the size of two fists with the decor being a smoking wreck of twisted metal.

Then again, isn’t this what I wanted? Only half an hour ago, I’d have signed for this scenario. Yes, please and thank you.

Now, I’m suddenly unsure again.

“I-I don’t know,” I stammer, my cheeks burning red with shame. “It’s all going too fast.”

Romulus stands up again, dejected.

“I see.”

“It’s not your fault,” I say. “Lets… talk? There was something you wanted to tell me?”

“That’s right. Perhaps I overstepped my bounds.”

“Let me take that off your hands, then we can talk.”

I grab the diamond and my knees buckle. Holy crap, it’s heavy! If I carry this thing around on a ring I’ll break my damn arm. I place it in the corner of the room, where it’ll be safe. “There. Now, lets get you cleaned up, and you can tell me what’s on your mind.”