MY CONVERSATION WITH MARK KEEPS running through my head, messing with me and making me question just what the hell I’m doing with Avalon.
He was right about a few things, one of them being the fact that if she’s going to be around me she needs to know what happened in my past.
She deserves to know that she’s spending time with a killer; a man that is willing to take the life of anyone who hurts the ones he loves. I killed those men without even an ounce of remorse, and watched as James’ life drained from his eyes. I wanted to kill them. I didn’t only want to, but I needed to.
The fucked up part is that I’m still out for blood from the fucker that put my family in that position to begin with. I’m not even close to being done yet. Brian has no chance once I get my hands on him and I won’t even think twice before putting my bullet straight through his fucking head.
What kind of demented monster does that make me? Can a human with a beating heart really just take another man’s last breath and not be considered cold, dark, and depraved? Does that even make me human at all?
I’m not so sure myself, and the thought of revealing the true monster inside me to Avalon has had me tense and on edge all night. I even attacked Blaine and slammed him against the wall when he asked me about Avalon. Just her name was enough to set me off.
My head is completely fucked up right now and I can’t put any rational thoughts together enough to function.
I thought I wanted Avalon to feel me, to see the monster in me, but the thought of her walking away makes my chest ache and my blood boil.
I’m not ready to let that happen yet. That’s exactly why I’m parked outside of Stylin’ right now, waiting in my truck for her to walk out that door.
The “Open” sign has been turned off for over twenty minutes now, and the only car in the parking lot is Avalon’s jeep. I hate the thought of her leaving the salon at night without any kind of protection.
That knowledge makes me want to sit outside every night that she works and take her home myself. Her boss is stupid for not having any kind of safety for her employees; either that or she’s a just a bitch.
Regardless . . . here I am.
Leaning my head back, I take a long drag of my cigarette and slowly release it.
A few minutes later, I look out my window and toss my cigarette out when I hear Avalon and Madison talking animatedly.
“That’s just fucking crazy, Ava, and you know it. Of course I didn’t sleep with both of them. We just . . . you know . . . had a little fun. I just wanted a small taste. For now . . .”
“You’re one feisty little whore. You know that?” Avalon comments while slowly walking to her jeep without even bothering to check her surroundings. “But hell if I don’t want to know the details. Well maybe not all of them.”
It makes me angry that she hasn’t even noticed my truck sitting in the back of the parking lot, facing them. I could be some crazed fucking maniac . . . Well, one dangerous to her at least.
This just proves to me that I have something to worry about and makes me glad that I chose to sit out here and wait.
“What can I say?” Madison says excitedly, while playfully snapping her teeth at the air like an animal. “I’m wild and those boys bring out the animal in me. No fucking shame, Sweets, none at all. You should try it sometime. Maybe Royal will let one of the boys join. Jax can eat your pussy while Royal fucks your mouth. Hot!”
Alright, I’ve had enough of this shit.
I crack my neck in annoyance and hop out of my truck, walking straight at them.
Madison is the first one to see me coming. She instinctively jumps back and screams, causing Avalon to turn around and face me.
Avalon’s eyes widen in fear for a small second before she realizes that it’s me.
“Holy fuck!” Madison screeches, while grabbing her chest. “Where the fuck did you come from?”
I growl and point behind me to my truck. “That massive fucking truck over there. That’s where.” I stop in front of Avalon and place my hand on her chin, bringing her eyes up to meet mine. “Always be aware of your surroundings. Got it,” I say firmly. “Shit! Someone could’ve hurt you.”
I release her chin and grip my hair in frustration. My heart is racing at even the thought.
“Is everything okay, Royal? Why are you so tense?” Avalon places her hand on my arm and pulls it down from my hair, while looking me in the eyes. “It’s fine. I’ve been doing it for almost two years now. No one has bothered us.”
I grab her face with both hands and roughly caress her cheeks with my thumbs. “Do you want to find out what it’s like once it’s not okay? I will fucking kill someone if something happens to you. Don’t make me do that.”
Her hands reach up to cover mine, as if to comfort me. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’ll talk with Claudette about having someone here at night. Until then, I’ll be more careful when closing.”
The tone in her voice tells me that she cares about what I think. It’s one of the things I love about her. She fucking listens, and doesn’t just look at me as a bad boy to fuck the good out of her like most girls do.
It reminds me a lot of Olivia, which is sort of painful and breaks me down a bit. It makes me somewhat vulnerable to her. That’s why I need to be more careful with her.
Before Olivia, all the girls ever wanted out of me were a good fuck and someone to rebel against their parents with. It was fun for a while, but always left me empty, until her . . .
“Good,” I reply, satisfied with her response. “I’ll just pick you girls up from work until then.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she says gently. “Then our cars will be sitting here all the time and Claudette might freak out.”
“We’ll worry about car arrangements and shit later. That shit doesn’t matter to me. You do.”
Feeling my face heat, I turn away and press my hands against the side of the jeep.
It’s silent for a few moments, before Madison finally speaks. “I can drive your jeep home if you want to ride with this protective hottie. No worries, Sweets. I fucking like him.” She turns to me and looks me over in approval. “A whole lot.”
“I’ll follow you girls home. Get in the jeep.” I push away from the jeep and open the door for Avalon.
She keeps her eyes on me, while walking between me and the door, and then hops in. “Come here,” she whispers.
Without hesitation, I lean in close.
My heart jumps in surprise when she grabs my face and kisses me hard and deep, running her tongue across my lips for access.
Getting lost in the moment, I tangle my hands into the back of her hair and suck her tongue into my mouth, moaning as my cock hardens.
“Holy shit, that’s hot,” Madison says, while practically leaning into Avalon’s lap.
Laughing, Avalon pulls away from our kiss and elbows her friend out of her lap. “Back up, Woman. It’s called personal space.”
“Looks like you have a Blaine,” I mutter.
“Now that you mentioned it,” she says, while still elbowing Madison out of her space. “I can see the similarities.”
I run my hand over my beard and start backing up. “Alright. Let’s go.”
When we pull up outside of their little red house, I park my truck and jump out to meet the girls by the jeep.
“Thanks for following us,” Avalon says with a small smile while closing her jeep door. “And thanks for waiting outside for us at the salon. No one has ever done that before.”
“I’ll be inside,” Madison yells over to us from the door of the house. “You’re a pretty awesome guy, Royal. Tell your friends hello for me.” She winks and then disappears inside.
Once it’s just the two of us, I back Avalon against the side of her jeep and run my hand up her neck, before gently wrapping it around her throat. “That’s just who I am.”
She closes her eyes and breathes against my lips. “And I like who you are, Royal. You make me feel safe; yet fill me with excitement at the same time. I like not knowing what to expect next from you.” She opens her eyes to look at me. “You’re special. So fucking special. Fuck what others think and fuck what you think, dammit. Your heart is good. There’s no monster inside of you.” She whispers the last part.
“What makes you so sure of that?” I question tensely. “There are things you don’t fucking know about me.”
“Then tell me,” she snaps. Her hands reach up to squeeze my arm. “Tell me something about you that I don’t know; anything at all. I just want to know about you.”
I swallow hard and lower my head, brushing it against the side of her face. “You know why I hate this world?”
She shakes her head.
“Because my fiancé was fucking taken from me,” I choke out. “I wasn’t there and she was taken from me. Fuck!” I slam the palm of my hand into the side of her jeep. “I . . .” I shake my head, unable to get the next words out.
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry,” she whispers. “You don’t have to keep going. Royal . . .” She grabs my face in both hands and forces me to look up at her. “I’m always here if you need me. You don’t have to tell me what happened today, but know that when you’re ready I’ll be here. I promise.”
Her words cause my heart to race, and an overwhelming feeling to be close to her takes over, causing me to fist her hair and bury my face into her soft neck.
She doesn’t ask questions or choose to speak in this moment. She just holds me as if she knows what I need . . . and she’s right.
We stay like this for a while, before I finally get my shit together and pull away. “I need to go,” I say tensely, while removing her hands from me. “Go inside, please.”
“Royal . . .” She reaches for my face, but I pull away and run my hands over my face.
“Avalon, just go inside. I’m not leaving until you do, dammit.”
She stands firm and looks at me. “Then I’m not going inside. I want you to stay. Royal–”
“No the fuck you don’t,” I bark out. “Just take my word for it. Now go.”
“Fuck you,” she replies. “Don’t tell me what I want. That’s my job.”
Growling out in frustration, I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder, storming my way up to the front door.
With one hand I reach out and open the door, before walking through the house in search of her bedroom.
“What are you doing?” She slaps my ass repeatedly. “Are you serious?”
“Dead serious.”
Madison appears in the hallway, looking at me in confusion.
“Where’s her bedroom?”
“Don’t tell him, Madi,” Avalon says quickly.
“Ooohhh . . . this looks fun.” Madison points out Avalon’s room. “Right there. Sorry, Sweets, but this game looks fun.”
Hurrying to her door, I push it open and toss her onto the bed, before stripping her down to her panties and bra.
“What the fuck?” Avalon sits up on her bed as I start walking toward the door.
“It’s fucking late. All I wanted you to do was go inside so I could leave.” I look her body over, fighting with everything in me not to take her right now, burying myself so deep that it fucking hurts. “Goodnight.”
Before I can lose my willpower, I slam her door closed behind me and rush out the door and toward my truck, getting in.
Gripping the steering wheel, I race out of the driveway before she can get dressed and come try to stop me.
I was so fucking close to telling her everything. She has no idea what kinds of emotions that stirs up for me.
Then she held me. She fucking held me, and it felt so damn good. I needed to get out of there before I lost myself to her.
Fuck! She’s slowly breaking me down and making it hard for me not to want to keep her . . .