PARKING MY TRUCK IN FRONT of the lake, I turn off the engine and wait for Avalon to make her way down the winding dirt path.
I wasn’t planning on bringing company here tonight—or ever really—but after what happened at dinner, I couldn’t just leave her and pretend that what she did for me didn’t have some kind of an effect on me.
Going to my family’s house is never easy. That’s why I stay the fuck away, but after watching Riley being lowered into the ground earlier today, my heart ached to see something beautiful, so I went where I knew she would be.
My plan was to keep to myself, but when she opened that beautiful, sassy mouth of hers, I fucking reached under the table and allowed myself to show my appreciation.
Taking a deep breath, I jump out of my truck and lean against it, as Avalon parks her jeep and kills the engine.
Not bothering to look at me, she grips onto her steering wheel and leans over it with her eyes squeezed shut. She looks as if she’s struggling with something and I have a feeling I know what that is: me.
Hell . . . I struggle with my damn self.
A few minutes later, Avalon jumps out of her jeep and slams the door shut behind her, walking at me fast. “What the fuck was that, Royal?” She shoves my chest, completely out of breath. “Did you seriously just finger fuck me in front of your family to piss your brother off? Huh?”
I lift a brow and watch her plump breasts as her chest quickly rises and falls with each heavy breath she fights. With one hand, I reach out and grip her hip to keep her from backing away when I sense she’s going to run. “That’s not the only reason. Fuck, Avalon.”
She brushes her hair out of her face and takes a deep breath. “Seriously!” She yells. “Please do tell me.”
I look her dead in the eyes and speak the fucking truth. She may not like it, but . . .”I’ve been thinking about finger fucking you for days and hearing you stick up for me turned me the fuck on.”
Her nostrils flare, as she looks me up and down. I prepare myself for another shove, but instead she just removes my hand from her hip and takes a step back. She looks a bit surprised by my answer and her demeanor calms a bit.
Swallowing, I reach into the back of my truck and pull out a twelve-pack of beer, before walking over to the water and taking a seat on the huge rock.
I stare out at the murky water and tilt back a bottle of beer, knowing exactly how I’m going to feel as soon as the emotions of being here take over. It’s been exactly one year since I have been here. I had been coming here for eight years and up until two years ago; I always had the company of Olivia. Now I come here alone in hopes to get away and remember the good moments, but they always seem to hurt me more by the time I leave.
Taking me in with soft, understanding eyes, Avalon takes a seat beside me and reaches her hand out. “Can I have one of those?”
Looking straight ahead, I reach beside me and grab a bottle, twisting the top off and handing it to her.
We sit here in silence, both of us enjoying a few beers, before Avalon finally speaks, breaking the comfortable silence.
“Do you come here often?”
I shake my head. “Not anymore.”
“Oh . . .” She takes a sip of her beer and shivers from the coldness of the drink and the wind blowing over her bare shoulders.
I stand up, take off my jacket, and drape it over her for warmth. “You’re shivering.”
She watches me as I take my seat next to her again. “Thank you.”
Seeing her beside me, draped in my leather jacket, makes my cock hard, just thinking about her wearing that and nothing else. She looks so badass in it that it really makes me fucking curious about her and Colton.
“How long have you known Dickhead?” I question in between drinks.
She lets out a long sigh. “For a little over six months. Not too long.” She empties her beer and hands it to me. “He came into the salon one day and was really charming; not so much anymore.”
I can’t help but to laugh at someone even considering Colton as a charmer. “That fucker . . . charming? Nah. I may be far from Prince Fucking Charming, but I know how to take care of a woman a hell of a lot better than that selfish prick.”
She erupts in laughter and covers her face with both of her hands. “He’s such a dick, Royal.” Her words come out a little slurred now that she’s on her forth beer, but seeing her smile is a small relief to the pain I’ve been feeling all day. “I can’t believe that I even went for him in the first place. He was just so different than the other jerks I dated. I actually thought I hit the jackpot with Colton, but then I realized that he’s more of an expired lottery ticket that I never cashed in on.”
I’m not sure if she really knows what she’s saying at this point, but it’s kind of fucking cute to see her babbling on about my idiotic brother.
“So . . .” She stands up and spills her bottle down the side of her leg as she starts talking and swinging her bottle at the same time. “The more I think about being with him, the more suffocated and nauseated that I feel. That’s not how being with someone should feel. You should be dying inside to see that person and be willing to give your last breath just to touch them and hold them near. I can’t breathe when I’m around him, but it’s not because he takes my breath away. It’s because I’m dying inside to run away.”
Her face scrunches up as if she’s just figured it all out. “So then tell him to fuck off and go out and find that shit.”
She lets out a saddened laugh. “Yeah . . .” She quickly runs her hand over her face and flares her nostrils as if she’s fighting back tears. “Maybe someday. I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”
I stand up beside her and grab her almost empty bottle out of her hand. “Leaving my brother?”
She looks down at my hand and then up to meet my eyes. “Finding someone that falls in love with me for who I truly am, and me loving them back so much that it fucking hurts. The one man I thought I truly loved only wanted me for my fucking tits and ass. That jerk.”
She shakes her head as if waking up and realizing that she’s talked too much. “Never mind that. I’m just babbling now from the damn beer.”
I close my eyes for a second and feel the overwhelming sensation as her words hit me like a fucking freight train. I found that once, but it was fucking ripped from me.
Pulling Avalon to me by the front, bottom part of my jacket, I reach into the inner pocket and pull the single white Calla Lily out and walk over to the water.
My chest fucking aches so bad that I can’t even breathe as I close my eyes and listen to the water.
“What’s that for?” Avalon asks softly from beside me.
My heart stops. “For my fiancé Olivia. It’s her birthday.”
I can hear Avalon’s breathing pick up as she prepares to ask the question that I know is coming next. “Where is she?”
I drop the Lily into the water and turn around, looking her in the eyes. “Dead.”
I catch the sight of Avalon’s mouth dropping before I brush past her and hurry back over to my truck. I get ready to jump inside and drive off, but stop when I look back over to see her face buried in her hands.
I may not know much about Avalon, but I know for a fact that she’s buzzing and a bit overly emotional at the moment. I can’t fucking just leave her here. The thought makes me feel guilty, which is an odd feeling for me these days.
“Get in my truck.”
She looks up from her hands and covers her mouth as if fighting off what she truly wants to say or ask. “What about my jeep?”
“I’ll bring you back to it. No one will mess with it here.”
She’s hesitant at first, but then slowly walks over the passenger side of my truck and hops inside as I open the door for her.
Once we’re back on the road, I can feel her eyes watching me. I glance over and witness the hurt and sympathy in them. It’s the first time that I’ve gotten that look since Olivia’s death. Everyone else looks at me with something different in their eyes: Fear. I’ve gotten used to it and have learned to live with it. It’s part of who I am now, and as soon as she finds out the truth of that night she’ll be looking at me in the same way they do.
Avalon doesn’t speak the whole car ride back to my house. Instead, she asks for a beer as soon as we walk inside.
Knowing that we both just want to get lost and forget, I walk to the kitchen and pull out a handful of beers, motioning for her to follow to me out back.
Getting a comfortable chair for her to sit down and relax, I grab for a beer, twist the top and take a seat next to her, just enjoying the night sky.
“I’m telling Colton that it’s over in the morning. I should have just done that in the first place,” she admits.
“Yeah . . .” I take a sip of my beer and close my eyes. “Good.”
“Colton was the good guy. The clean-cut one without a record that my uncle always said I should go for. Back when I lived with him and my aunt . . .” She pauses to finish the last bit of her beer and sets it down by her feet. “I was always getting in trouble and letting them down. Running the streets late at night, and not coming home for days. Dating guys in and out of juvie. My mom couldn’t handle it, so that’s why she made me move in with her brother: my uncle. Believe it or not, I even landed in the back of a police car a few times.” She lets out a sigh and stops talking.
It’s quiet for a while.
By the time I look over again, Avalon is fast asleep, curled up into my big jacket.
“Thanks for the chat.” I whisper to myself. “I guess I know why the fuck you gave that douche a shot now.”
Closing my eyes again, I allow myself to just enjoy the peace and quiet of the night, hoping that this odd fucking calming feeling of having her near drowns out the rest of the noise in my head for a while.
Maybe I’m just an idiot for having any hope . . .