I’m regretting the hell out of this plan. I’ve never been more afraid.

Adam and I were just joking moments ago, that this was the new-new Robin Love plan, number 4,356. Sage had protested that we were easily up into the 5,000 numbers. I’d laughed along with them, because it was kind-of true, but right now I can’t even crack a smile. Whichever plan it is, it’s the last plan.

I’m personally executing it here and now. All while my family and friends—plus Robin’s family and the Perinos—some of whom are staring at me with worried half-glares on their faces, watch me take center stage.

If this were a normal situation I’d worry more about them, but I just can’t. This the most important plan I’ve ever schemed up in my entire life. It’s last minute, it’s crazy and like most of our plans, I’m still making it up as I go. Anyone can watch me, as long as this works.

As the gate swings open and Robin enters the Perino back garden, I hold my breath. Her dad takes up her arm, leading her along, just how he should of held her arm, but couldn’t, during our fake wedding.

Robin hasn’t seen me yet so the irony is lost on her, but not on me.

She freezes her steps when she sees me standing at the far side of the garden.

I—we all watch and wait.

Thankfully, after her mouth drops open like she’s gasped, and after she’s glanced around the entire set-up garden. After she’s taken in all of us standing around inside the circle of little white lights. After she’s stared at the tables set up with linens and lit candles—with white ribbons hung on the trees. After she sees all of it. Set up exactly how it had been set up on the night I asked her to marry me, after she does all of that; she sucks in a huge breath, and looks at her father.

We all tense more, and no one moves as Mr. Love nods to Robin—one short, curt nod.

Unfortunately, that’s when Robin locks down her expression to one I can’t read, but after another long moment, I observe that at least she’s started breathing, in-and-then out.

I was tracking that most of all. Tracking her face, her reactions to all of this—just in case she freaked out and went in the wrong direction. Like saw me here and immediately started shouting for me to get-the-hell-out-of-here. Or, like demanding Angel beat the crap out of me—or something worse.

Like… what if she’d cried?

Had that happened, I would have called out, ‘stop’ and taken a different approach (though, truthfully I have no clue what that would have been). And, holy-shit I thought for a minute there when she was holding her breath she was actually going to pass out—which was something I hadn’t even considered her doing, but so far…so good. Everyone’s still alive…including me.

I glance quickly at Mr. Love’s wound-tight expression. He’s slowly matching Robin’s small steps to his. And as they both head definitively in my direction again, I can’t help but have a moment of PTSD as I look the man in the eye and wonder if this time, they’re both going to punch the shit out of me?

I swallow hard, knowing that thought is insane—because it was Mr. Love who helped me plan this moment. Who gave me his blessing. His word. Not mine.

As they get closer, I work to shove all of my doubts away. I can’t choke right now. I need to be confident, steady and serene. Mr. Love may not like me yet, but he knows I love his daughter, and he did officially apologize, more than once for sending me to the hospital. All while I apologized back—hundreds of times for getting his daughter into the troubles she shouldn’t have been in, while he was away.

He and I, after multiple phone calls, we’re good now. We both also have the same goals tonight. He’s an ally, not an enemy. Not anymore.

Because Robin’s all about family, we—he and I, and Mrs. Perino as well as Angel, had come up with this re-do birthday party idea just yesterday morning. We’d also planned that everyone would be surrounding us in a big circle during this time, and so far, even the wiggle-twins, Ana and Julia have held their positions beautifully.

As Robin is brought closer, I let my eyes travel over her whole form, realizing what Sage told me on the phone was true. That she’s lost some weight, that she somehow looks older—that maybe all of that has happened because she’s been really sad since leaving Europe. Me. The hurt all of this has caused her is radiating out from her faltering steps, from her too-stiff shoulders. Her eyes are closed off from me in this way that’s very sad and unfamiliar, and as she gets even closer, I see she’s steeling herself away from me somehow. Protecting herself because she thinks I won’t anymore. This undoes me, because glimpses of what look like white-hot fear—fear that I’m here to hurt her more, are cracking through her stony expression. Cracking my soul.

It was Vere’s idea to keep our outfits kept to simple shorts and t-shirts for this afternoon. We’re all dressed to match what she and Sage had worn to the amusement parks, and Robin’s tattered, baggy jean shorts plus a plain t-shirt and flip-flops, remind me of how she looked the first day she came to work for Guarderobe. Robin’s hair is glorious, hanging down around her shoulders, wild as usual. The blonde curls I love are swirling out in every direction thanks to the evening breeze and Orlando’s epic humidity. She’s not wearing one bit of makeup—which I also love—and oh, how I missed her fresh, pretty face and those rounded cheeks. After not seeing her for so long, not talking to her—she’s so beautiful, so precious to me right now, that I can hardly hold still and stick to the plan.

When her father brings her to my side, my legs begin to shake some, because her carefully placed mask is slipping again. More flickers of fear cross her face. That hurt lances into me as she lets her eyes lock onto mine, before she quickly looks away.

But, because she’s Robin, and she’s brave, as well as the girl who always thinks everything is going to turn out fine, she straightens her back and finds my eyes again. I’m nearly brought to my knees when I see the last emotions she’s trying to hide from me. Because—oh-thank-you-God—there’s also love hiding behind that sky-blue gaze, and…I think…some shreds of Robin’s unfailing hope was in her expression, too.

Before I can say anything, her mask goes right back on and she asks, “Why—why are you here? Are—are you here to end it?” She glances over at Vere, my grandmother and Hunter. “To start the breakup?” She shakes her head, as though she’s trying to clear it.” Because that would be so like you, Royce Devlin. To ruin my birthday party all over again with one of your schemes.” She glances around again, frowning. “Wait. There’s no paparazzi. When does the press show up?”

The sound of her voice has taken my breath away all over again, because I missed it—her—so much. Worse, the faint scent of lavender coming off of her hair plus my own fear, is making me unable to respond.

When I don’t answer, she steps forward, a little glare crossing her features as she hiss-whispering so only I can hear hear, “Tell me fast. Is that what you’re doing? I need to know how to act, damn you.” Louder, she adds, “Why didn’t you just text me a warning that today was going to be the day we end it?”

* * *

I flick a helpless glance at her father who quickly says, “No, honey. That’s not what they’re doing. Your young man here. Royce. He’s come to ask if he can formally go out with you. He’s asked my permission in advance, and Sage’s, and Angel’s, and Mrs. Perino’s permission, too.” Mr. Love coughs.

“He even asked me,” Angel adds, shaking his head. “I wanted to say no…but… fine, I also want you to be happy so…”

“What?” Her eyes are going around the circle.

“We’ve all given him our most sincere blessings,” my grandmother calls out next. “And it took quite a bit to get us all here.”

Mr. Love crosses his arms over his chest. “The rest is up to him. And you.”

Her next whispers are strangled as her eyes circle back to me. “Aren’t you supposed to be on tour? And…aren’t you supposed to ask my blessings to date me?”

“I—yes—I, that’s why I came here in person,” I stutter out, working for control. “It’s our second, week-long break. We’re supposed to be heading out of Europe, and on the way to St. Petersburg. And, yes. Today was supposed to begin the official break-up by me, posting some horrible shit online. But yesterday, I just couldn’t do it anymore. And I broke down. Then, I bawled in front of all of them.” I point to my family and friends. “Which is when I convinced everyone to take a red-eye flight to come here instead, because they’d never seen me cry before. Because, yes. Robin. I—want your blessing. I want—you—your—permission. I want you and I to…do everything. Forever. Us.” I shake my head, feeling my face flush. “Damn. I suck at this.”

“And we were all very much in support of this marvelous, new plan,” my grandmother calls out again as though she knows I need some back-up while I recover. “We miss you, dear Robin, and we hope you can forgive us as well as forgive Royce for trying to do what was best—when in fact, that last plan that let you leave Paris so quickly, was a horrible plan. Please hear what Royce has to say. He’s been a terrible mess without you. We all have.”

Robin starts shaking her head like she wants to protest or something, so before she can speak—or worse—shut me down, I rush in with, “I don’t want to break up with you. At all. Ever. And I think—God, do I hope—that you might not want to break up with me. It’s why I used Clara in the first photos—because I still had all of those concert commitments to uphold—and because I wanted you to have time to really think it over. To really know for sure if you missed me how I was missing you. See, I also thought if you saw me with Clara, you might understand that I was not moving on how you’d told Vere you wanted. Also, because you know I can’t stand that girl. I’d thought about calling you, or giving you a warning that we were coming here; but then I could never figure out how to make it sound right. So, then I realized that it was important I say all of this in person so you could see my face at the same time. Because, at the very least, when I screw up talking about this—that when you look into my eyes—you can see more. Understand me and find me, and know that I’m sincere. God. Robin. I’m so sorry. Am I making any sense?”

“Yes.” She nods, then shakes her head. “And…no. Why did you take so long?”

I flick a glance at Mr. Love, forging on—hoping this is all okay with him, as well. “Work…that’s one reason. And, I also had some things to sort out with your father that took up some of the time. He, like me, had wanted you to have your space. To have time to just think about your future, and what you wanted without me butting in. I had to respect his wishes on that. And when he and Sage called me to say you were sad, that they needed me to at least come here and talk to you in Orlando—I was all in, of course. Because shit, I had way too much time to think about my own future without you in it and….damn, I’m still sucking at explaining stuff to you but,” I shrug—pointing at everyone. “This is as quickly as we could all come. When your father said this weekend you’d be here, in Orlando, where it all started, I thought it would be perfect. I had this idea that we could go full circle and maybe start over?”

Robin’s got creases forming deep in her forehead and she’s looking between me and her father. “And what did you two come up with—without asking me? Without involving me.” She shakes her head, obviously starting to get angry.

“We didn’t—I came up with this idea and—well.” I shrug, feeling helpless and way too vulnerable as I just say what I need to say: “I—I came up with—I love you, and I hope you love me back, and I’d like us to stay married while we figure it out, if at all possible. Please—let’s not get divorced. We can hold steady without alerting any press to us. And I can be your best friend and then your boyfriend. And, even though it’s all backwards, I just wanted to ask you to go out with me—for real.”

I take up her trembling hands and drop to my knees in front of her. “If you’ll have me. If you can stand to live a life where everyone stares at you, gossips about you, trash-talks you and adores you all at the same time. If you don’t mind that all of these people—” I motion to the circle of people standing around us. “That they will come on every vacation we ever have. If you don’t care that we will have a whole bunch of bodyguards for the foreseeable future, and a crazy life ahead, with very little private time or even privacy? Will you—would you—say yes to me, yet?” My heart starts thrumming in my temples and when she still doesn’t answer I get so scared I have to ask again, “Robin? Do you love me, too? Do you?”

“Yes.” She’s nodding, grinning—eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “Yes, I love you so much, but…”

“But what?”

Like she can’t hold herself up, she sinks down to her knees in front of me while she wipes some at her eyes. “But…how…like how will we do this? Can we do this—I’m still only eighteen and you’re still only twenty-one, and…how can we do this for real?”

“How we were doing it before, only…better?” I shrug. “You will still go to school, and I will go back to finish the tour without you. And even though the schedule is impossible and horrible, we’ll get through it. Then we’ll hang out in our apartment as much as we possibly can hang out together. And when we can’t—because of work or life or whatever your school and career is doing for you…well when we can’t…” I shrug, unable not to pause and run a finger down one of her beautiful flushed cheeks.

She answers for me. “When we can’t, we won’t die inside like both of us just died these past weeks, because we will know—know for real—that we’re waiting for each other?”

“Yes! Yes.” I breathe out, so relieved by what she’s said I nearly crumple again. “See? You get me.” I smile at her nodding, and choke out a rough sandpaper whisper, adding, “I’ve missed you so much. Love you even more.” I reach my palm up to cover the few tears that have escaped her glistening blue-eyes.

She turns her face into the heat of my palm. “And if I try to call you or text, you’ll answer as soon as possible? And you’ll never say that you’re too busy or refuse to video chat ever, ever again?”

“Never.”

She’s glowering through her smile now, which has me smiling back at her. “B-b-because that really sucked, and I think I’ll never get over how it felt.”

“I’m sorry. That was pure torture. I thought it was for the best.”

She leans back then—really glaring at me now. “And if I agree, you and my father, and even you, Mrs. Felix?” She motions to my grandmother. “You never get to decide what is for the best for me and Royce, from now on? Deal? He and I decide together.”

“Okay. Yes. I think I can agree to that.”

“I also, will endeavor to try, Robin, but you know that will be hard for me.” My grandmother smiles.

“I’ve already made that promise to Robin,” Mr. Love says.

Robin nods to her father, leveling him with a serious gaze. “And, Dad. You will be okay with me, living with Royce. Because I’m not doing this if he and I can’t live together. Because I don’t want to start over. We’ve already done that and I don’t want to go back to just—level one dating, or whatever. I want it back the way it was before, only like he said—better.” She glances through her lashes at me then, and her cheeks fire bright red.

Mr. Love’s shoulders go plywood-straight, like he does not want to answer this, and as we all hold our breath again, he answers, “Fine. I’m going to make myself be okay with it, because it is what it is. As long as you’re happy.” To me he adds, “But if she’s not happy? The SF code is one ounce of your blood for every tear she sheds.”

Everyone but me laughs at that, and I only shake my head at the guy. Because—even underweight and still limping from the messed-up leg, Robin’s father still intimidates the hell out me. “I have no intention of ever making her sad, Sir. Robin’s happiness has been my intent all along.”

Robin’s Dad manages a smile, adding, “I know that, son. And that’s why we’re all here today. I really, truly know that, and…thank-you.”

“Thank you, Sir,” I say, completely choked up. Humbled.

“Thanks, Dad.” Robin grins at her father, and then everyone in the circle. “Thanks—everyone.” When she turns her gaze back to me, I pull in my first full breath, and then I pull her into a hug that ends with her on my lap. Not even caring that now she and I are sitting on the grass, cry-hugging in the middle of everyone we know.

I pause to wipe at my eyes, and then nestle her more comfortably on my lap, saying finally, “And when you’re old enough, or when you ask me—or when your dad stops looking at me like he might want to kill me despite the support he’s given me to get here today—hell, I actually don’t know.” I laugh, flushing a little as I lock eyes with Mr. Love again. “Maybe when you’ve graduated from art school with a real degree and have a job? Then I can propose to you again. Have a real wedding? We will do it with these all of these same people staring at us and smiling like idiots just how they’re doing now.”

She shakes her head, ‘no’ and curls herself into my chest as closely as she possibly can, using my shirt front to dry up some of her tears. “No.”

“What? Why not?” I ask. “Next time you can pick the dress, and the venue, and the decorations, and it will be the wedding of your dreams. Because—did you hear me? I love you, Robin. I love you so much and I’m so sorry I didn’t think I could just tell you how I felt. Please. Forgive me for not knowing how to tell you I loved you.”

She laughs and her smile is like ten million stars sparkling just for me. “It’s not about that. And…I also wanted to tell you that I loved you long ago. But then, I thought, that even though we got along, that we were friends, that maybe you didn’t want me. So I believed what you all told me. That I needed to get a normal life back, and above all I thought maybe…you needed your old life back. I thought leaving quickly with Dad would help.”

“My old life sucked. I was wrong. But it all got real clear when you went away.” My voice cracks again and I whisper quietly so hopefully only she can hear. “I swear, Robin, I nearly died.”

“It was the same for me,” she whispers back. “I’ve never been so depressed. I tried to just make it all work, tried to soldier-on how I do, but nothing felt right. I was failing at it.”

“I know. I’m so-so sorry.” I hug her in tighter. “I was ready to swim across the damn ocean to get to you. First, I had to come clean to your father. Sage, of course knew everything. He even knew that you and I were in love.”

“He did? That kid.” She laughs.

“Your father admitted he’d talked to you and had realized that he couldn’t just rewind the clock how he’d wanted. Not when you’d changed so much. Not when you were so sad all the time. I’m sorry for that, and later I’m sure he will tell you that he’s sorry, too, for making you wait. I didn’t understand that love, real love hurts the most—hurts when you can’t be together, because I’ve never been in love before.”

“I haven’t been in love before, either, so it’s not like I knew where to put my feelings.” She presses her forehead into my chest. “Is this some sort of dream I’m having?” She blinks, looking back up worriedly. “It’s not, right? Maybe you should pinch me. Do it very hard.”

I laugh. “It’s not. Robin, I never want to feel that brokenhearted over you ever again. I never want to miss you like I’ve been missing you, not ever again, and I never want to feel anything but happy when I think of you. Can you forgive me for not knowing what was happening? Forgive me for being afraid of what was happening to us? Forgive me for hurting you?”

“I feel the same…and yes…yes. But, what was happening to us?”

I smile at her flushed face. “Forever. Our forever was happening to us, we just didn’t know.”

“Aww.” She grins. “Aww…that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said.”

“So…what do you think?” I give her a little shake and untangle my arms from hers so I can sit back and see her face. “Do you…could we do this? Can you agree to this next…amazing and poorly thought out plan?” I point at the circle, noting that my grandmother and Mrs. Perino are now also both teared-up. “All of these insane people here, plus me, they’re all in, and we’re just waiting for your vote.”

“I—vote, yes. And I love this new-newest-plan.”

We both stand together, and everyone’s tears dry up as they laugh and congratulate each other.

The shaking goes out of her hands as she looks up into my eyes in that way she’s done since day one—like she can see all the way through me, and too deep into my heart. She says loud enough for everyone to hear, “I never want to miss you again either, but I have one thing I need to change in the plan.”

“Okay. What?”

She steps forward. “I don’t want to get remarried.”

“Why?” I ask, sharing a worried glance with her father.

“Considering how awesome the first wedding was, I don’t see the point of doing all of that again. My dad hates wearing fancy suits, and he also hates having photographs taken of himself, so… I think, as long as we’re all happy, this is good enough for him, right Dad?”

Mr. Love nods and smiles as Robin scrunches up that pert nose of hers and holds up the combined wedding and engagement rings so we can all see it, adding, “I’m also never taking these rings off, ever. I’m not sure how we’d re-marry each other anyhow, because we’d have to do the ring part again, right?”

Ana shouts out, oblivious to the deeper layers in the conversation, “That’s what I told Robin. When Mr. Gregory gives us our rings, then we all need to keep our rings, and take a picture with them. No one is going to take the rings off, that’s so silly. And the next wedding is going to be our wedding. When Mr. Gregory is going to marry Mamma and then he will be our Papa. That’s the next wedding anyway.”

Not to be left out, Julia adds, “Yeah. It’s our turn.”

“Thank God,” I laugh out along with everyone else.

Robin’s smile widens while everyone standing in the circle laughs and starts applauding at what Ana and Julia have shouted.

“You’ve just made me so damn happy,” I say and tug at one of her long stray curls, winding my finger into it so I can tug her closer to me.

“I told you all of your wishes would come true. You didn’t even need the wand,” little Julia calls out again.

Robin replies, looking at everyone and adds in another quiet, flushed-faced whispered, “Thank-you,” to everyone.

I waggle my brows at Robin and whisper, “My grandmother has agreed that your father will also have a small apartment inside the Orb NYC until his PT is completed.” I grin. “On a different floor, though. And on the other side of the building from where ours is. He insists on paying his own rent, though.”

“Perfect. He wouldn’t have it any other way.” Robin nods approvingly

“And to seal this new awesomeness.” I say, tugging her curl again, so she has to step even closer. “I get to do the parks with you guys. Most importantly, I get to go with your family to Universal Studios in a couple of days. Chocolate Frogs—until our stomachs hurt. All of the rides. We’re doing all of it while holding hands to make up for lost time, too. I’ll even get on every single coaster without complaining.”

“Do you mean that?” Those big-blue eyes of hers have gone wide.

I frown at her amazement. “Yes. I promised you back in the UK while riding that train. Did you forget?”

“No.” She’s shaking her head. “I did not forget, I just never thought it would happen.”

“If you’ll let me, I mean to keep all of my promises to you. Which means there will be chaos when we’re together, running through the amusement parks. So much chaos. And one day, sooner than later, and even if we get arrested for creating a public disturbance, I will get you up the Eiffel Tower.” I frown, trying to squelch one last wave of doubt. “Are you okay with that—with a lifetime of utter-and-extreme, inescapable madness, just to do the normal little things we want to do?”

Now she’s the one frowning. “What have I always told you, Royce? That I’m okay with just hanging out with you, no matter what we do.” Her frown turns to a beaming smile. “I’m more than okay with that, and even better?”

“What?”

Her eyes return to twinkling so clear, so bright and so happy that she’s taken my breath away once more, as she adds, “I now absolutely can’t wait for tomorrow.”

“And I can’t wait for all of the tomorrows after that,” I say, matching my grin to hers. “Whatever happens.”

She nods, grinning. “Whatever happens.”

And, even though Robin’s dad is standing only a few feet away from me with his fists all clenched by his sides like he still wishes he could throw some last punches at me, and even though Sage’s expression is so happy, too, that it looks like the kid is going to cry right along with my grandmother and Vere right now, I turn away from them all and pull Robin in close. Then closer, and closer still, until it’s just me and Robin. Face to face—breath to breath, and heartbeats to heartbeats. I pause to place a hand over hers—grinning when she tilts her head to the side and does the same to my chest.

“It’s like wild horses in there…”

We’ve both blurted that out at the exact same time.

“Every time,” she finishes. Her giggle tangles up into my responding laughter as I sweep my girl—my wife—my love into my arms.

I spin her around and around because I can’t hold her close enough…and, of course, I start to kiss the laughter off those beautiful lips.

With everyone looking on and applauding more, I kiss her again, and then kiss her until she and I can no longer hear the cheers around us. Until the whole world fades away and the only thing she and I can feel connecting us, is our runaway hearts, beating together.