Chapter 24

Misery settled in Rock’s chest after reading Vivian’s text sending him to rot in hell. And he had no idea why. Actually he had an idea, but she’d known that he would go out with Carla Dawson and nothing had happened, right?

He’d carefully avoided giving the actress a chance to kiss him again. Why then was he swept up in guilt? He moped around in bed, feeling sorry for himself. He hated Carla, her agent, the reporters, Tommy, but most of all he hated himself. He could point all his fingers at the aforementioned players but he’d still have one pointing back at himself. Any woman who valued herself, like Viv did, would have kicked him to the curb. Rightfully so.

Vivian’s scathing message shattered his heart into a million pieces and he cursed. After putting on jeans and a shirt, he grabbed his keys and drove off. For an hour or two he just drove around, his mind racing in circles.

The guilt became overwhelming. It had been the main emotion he’d carried around with him for years like a grindstone around his neck. Without realizing it, he steered his car to the cemetery, where his best friend Tristan was buried. Usually he avoided coming here, because of the overwhelming grief gripping his soul. But today, a magnetic force pulled him toward Tristan’s grave.

The cemetery was almost empty, dark clouds hanging in the sky and threatening a summer rain. Rock didn’t care. He walked to Tristan’s tombstone, and sat down on the green grass, thinking about everything that had happened. A lone tear rolled down his cheek.

“Man, I wish you were here right now. My life is crap and guilt’s eating me up, but then I met this girl. Vivian. She’s special. You’d like her.” He continued to tell his dead friend the entire story until the bitter ending. “And now she hates me for being a spineless cheating jerk. I ruined it…again.”

Then Rock sat in silence, for a long time, watching the clouds roll by overhead. The wind whipped through the trees, making eerie sounds. Rock had lost the sense for time and space, when he heard a voice.

“Man. It’s time to move on.”

Rock glanced up and around, but he couldn’t see anyone around. Any remaining people had fled the cemetery to seek shelter in their cars and houses from the upcoming thunderstorm.

“I’ll never forget you, dude. But maybe you’re right and it’s time I let you go,” Rock murmured. The acknowledgement brought a sense of peace into his tormented soul. “You know what? I’m still angry with you. How could kill yourself and leave me hanging? How could you? Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you.”

Memories threatened to swallow Rock, but he was beyond fighting and let them roll over his body until finally tear after tear came rolling down his cheeks. Tears he’d swallowed back for too many years.

At the same time, rain started pouring down and within minutes Rock was drenched, but he had no intention of getting up. After crying for a long time he was finally able to see the light behind his grief. Guilt had been his motivator for most things he’d done those past years.

But now he needed to move on. He owed it not only to himself, but also to Vivian. A special woman like her deserved better than a guilt-ridden man like him.

“Man, I wish you would have cried out for help after the accident…I had no idea. I thought you were okay, you were coping with the loss of your legs, the loss of your career.” He paused and then put voice to the truth he’d started to see in the past several days. “My biggest regret is to have put the needs of my career first. I might have noticed your depression had I been there for you. And you know what’s worse? I just noticed that I didn’t learn anything. I’ve just made the same mistake. Putting my career first.”

Tommy’s question plagued him. What is more important, some girl you just met or the future of your charity?

Rock had thought he knew the answer to that question, but he’d been wrong. The girl was more important and always would be. Vivian was the most important thing in his life.

“Thanks, man for the epiphany. I need to go get my girl. See you on the other side.”

The rain had stopped and warm rays of sun evaporated the drops into humidity. Rock made his way back to his vehicle, tossing the crutches back in the car and climbing behind the wheel.

He speech-dialed her number, but the call went straight to voicemail. Her phone was either turned completely off, or she was ignoring him. Either way, he needed to see her. And apologize … big time.