I watch the motorcycle fly down the road, my body still reeling from being so close to him. It’s not the first time I’d seen him here, but it was the first time I spoke to him. The dark stubble on his jaw, the ripped jeans, and tattered leather jacket make him look rough, dangerous. But it’s his smoky growl that makes my knees wobble.

I wonder what he’d think of me if he really knew me. Sadness threatens to take over, but I push it back down. I’ve been in the public eye for too long, and having someone like him in my life would never work, but perhaps he could be my secret. Mine alone to enjoy in the dark.

Dad would have a fit if he knew where I was. So would Hudson. My so-called boyfriend. All the fake smiles and lies I have to bear because of my father’s job have left me rebelling. I come here every Friday, when I can get away from their watchful eyes, to enjoy myself.

I may not be a submissive by any means. But my needs do tend to gravitate in the murky waters of dangerous desires. And it seems the dark stranger with the piercing midnight eyes may just be able to give me what I need.

Each day, I wish I could be normal. Just another twenty-one-year-old girl who doesn’t have to be careful what she wants in case her father loses his job or gets bad press for something she’s inadvertently done.

I’ll never be perfect.

I just want my father to accept that.

Turning on my heel, I make my way back into the club. Once I’m seated with my friends, I can’t help my smile faltering when Amber questions, “What did he say?”

“I didn’t catch him. He was gone by the time I got out there,” I respond with my fib. She doesn’t pick up on it because I’ve been taught by my father to lie. For years, I’ve smiled, put on a show for everyone who was watching. Family first, Mads, Daddy would say, even though he wouldn’t know the first thing about love and affection and putting those you care about first.

Sighing, I lift the wine to my lips, savoring every drop like it’s my last. For the next two weeks, I’ll be lazing around the house, if I’m not out at meetings with various charities. I wish my father would allow me to work at the office, but he’s got it in his head I need to be at home, looking after the house. He’s an old-fashioned man, believing women should be in the kitchen, pregnant and barefoot.

Since I turned eighteen, he’s become more adamant that I’m supposed to learn how a woman runs a house. However, being in charge of our staff complement doesn’t fill me with excitement. They cook and clean, ensure the place is spotless, even though there are only two of us who live in the goddamn house.

My mother used to stay as far away from the house as possible. When she ran off with one of the men who worked for my father, I was angry. The fact that she was screwing around on my father was well-known by the people who clean our home. I overheard them talking about it, but I never said a word. Instead, I used to spend my time in my bedroom, where no one can judge me for my own indiscretions.

When I heard she’d died, I didn’t feel a thing. I was numb to any emotion I had for her. The last time I’d seen her, she told me I would have a better life with my father. If only she knew.

“Earth to Madi.” Amber giggles, waving her hand in front of my face. “Where did you disappear to? That hottie really got to you, didn’t he?” she questions, smiling at me with those big eyes.

There are times I feel far removed from my best friend. I think she’d be better off being the daughter of a senator rather than me. I don’t fit into their world.

“No, it’s just been a long day. I think I’m going to head home,” I tell her. Another lie. Just stacking them in the corner for later. Rising from the seat, I offer them a smile. Amber is one of my best friends, but right now, all I want to do is be alone. Or with him. But he left, and my heart hasn’t yet calmed to its normal pace.

“I’m going to talk to one of the hotties at the bar,” Amber informs me. She’s a party animal, and I’m the quiet one. Even though my dad doesn’t know half the stuff that happens when I’m out with her, he seems to like Amber.

“Have fun, babe. I’m just not feeling it tonight.”

She rises, giving me a hug. “Don’t be a stranger. I need you tomorrow for our shopping date,” she tells me excitedly.

“I’ll be there,” I promise, but somehow, I don’t think I’ll make it. My mind is still a mess from the man with the intense indigo eyes. His dangerous aura only seemed to make me want to learn more. My heart hadn’t sped so fast in a long while. Since I was a teenager with a crush. Now an adult, I want that feeling.

Tomorrow, I’ll ask one of my father’s investigators to find him. It can’t be too difficult. I have a photo of him on my phone, which I took sneakily one night as he’d sauntered in here. Heading toward the exit, I find my driver sitting near the door.

“I’m ready,” I tell him.

He nods, rises, and leads me out to the Town Car that’s chauffeured me all my life. Growing up with money afforded me privileges, but all those don’t compare to the one thing I do want. To be a normal girl who’s able to lose control just once. My life has been filled with rules, regulations, and I’ve been followed around by bodyguards ever since I can remember. Perhaps that’s what the stranger did to me. He gave me a glimpse of that danger I’ve always looked for.  

That trickle of excitement that causes butterflies to attack me with vengeance. To heat my blood and leave me restless at night when I’m alone in bed. My body burns for it. It aches so deep within me I feel it in my soul. I want that searing heat of a man’s touch. His gaze boring into me as if he’s trying to rip me apart.

I want passion.

For him to unleash his wrath on me.

As much as I love Amber, shopping for the latest Dior or Versace isn’t on my ultimate to-do list. No, I need him.

The car weaves through the darkened streets as I take in the city lights. There’s something magical about a city. It’s alive even in the dark. It calls to the heart of you, begging for you to enjoy what secrets it hides.

Moments later, the car stills. “We’re here, Ms. Parker,” Ronald tells me, and I realize I’d been lost in my own head once more.

“Thank you, Ronnie.” I smile, exiting the car. He hates when I call him that. But when someone has known you your whole life, they make exceptions for your inadequacies. Making my way up to the door, I unlock and shove it open to find the lamps leading down the hall to the kitchen glowing with the faint yellow bulbs. Those are the only lights on, and I recall Daddy telling me he’d be home late from the function tonight.

Sighing, I drop my keys in the bowl at the entrance and head up the stairs to my bedroom. The space has been my own all my life. A place where I can be myself. The black curtains, orange throw cushions, along with soft gray walls and the off-white carpet make it palatable. The rest of the house is filled with my mother’s taste in furnishings.

I have a king-sized bed against one wall, windows which overlook the back gardens toward the left of my bed where I can see the moon on a clear night just beside it, a walk-in closet with more space than I know what to do with, and a private bathroom attached.

Pulling off my shoes, I revel in the soft cushion of the carpet. Thick and warm against my sore feet. I hate wearing heels, but going to Seven Sins means I have to dress up. I enjoy the elegance of the club rather than wearing next to nothing and heading out to the seedy places Amber prefers at times.

What I want is something vastly different. I need to be taken. Harsh and rough, made to feel. Since I turned thirteen, I knew I wasn’t like other girls. Being different caused me to get bullied every day. I never had friends. I didn’t go to house parties like the rest of the kids did. I was teased my whole school life. The bigger girl with the braces. Even now, when I think back, it hurts. Nobody realizes just how much words can damage.  

Nobody would recognize me if they saw me right now. I was always curvy. Bigger than the rest of the petite girls who could wear anything on the racks. I would hide behind floppy sweaters and loose-fitting tees. But that’s not the only reason I hid.

Blinking the tears away, I flop onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling. When I’m overwhelmed, the sadness resurfaces. It slams into me, reminding me I’m human. We can hurt. We can bruise so easily. It’s those scars I hide beneath the expensive dresses I wear.

I pull open my drawer and find my journal waiting for me. It’s been years since I owned my first one. Writing my thoughts have helped, but sometimes I need more. I want the pain to leave my body one way or another.

Even though I know a scene might satiate the craving I have, there’s never been someone I trusted enough to accept an offer.

Not even Hudson has ever once given me what I crave so much. When I asked him to spank me, he blanched at the thought. And even with him, there isn’t heat or desire.

He’s been the only man I’ve been with other than my epic failure of a first time. It was a fumbled mess that left me wanting. I gave up my virginity to a boy in school because I wanted to feel something. The pain. The sting of his dick sliding into me. Breaking me made me feel alive.

It wasn’t good.

There was no emotion.

When Hudson had come into the picture, I was almost happy. It was a reprieve for me to finally have someone who wanted me. Until he learned about my secret, he did want me. And with him, I allowed myself to forget the years of bullying and torment. I even shoved those angry words and sneers directed at me into a little box. But no matter how much time I spent with Hudson, he never offered me solace because as soon as he was gone, I’d reach for the razor.

The moment I turned thirteen, I told my father I wanted to go to defense classes. He didn’t understand why, but I explained that if one of the guards wasn’t around, at least I’d be able to defend myself. Finally, after more begging on my side, he agreed. I know how to fight, to take a man down. I’m stronger than I was before, and slowly, I’ve become more comfortable in my own skin.  

I pick up my stereo remote and turn on the song I listen to when I’m in this mood. "Numb" by Linkin Park screams through the speakers as I bleed words onto the page. It’s an old diary with yellowing pages that allows me to express myself with words when I have no one else to talk to.

My phone vibrates on the nightstand, startling me. When I pick it up, I notice a number I don’t recognize. Swiping the screen, I lift it to my ear. “Hello?”

“You alone, sweetheart?” The gruff tone of the stranger from the club sounds through the speaker and somehow travels through me, igniting heat in every inch of my body.

“I am.” My confirmation earns me a grunt from the other end of the line, and I wonder what he’s doing. Is he alone? Is he on his bed or sofa? “I didn’t think I’d hear from you.”

“I don’t play with little girls, but you’ve intrigued me, baby,” he murmurs. The word baby in his thick Irish accent only serves to send me spiraling with need. My core pulses, and I’m tempted to touch myself while he speaks.

“I’m not a—”

“Yeah, I know. You’re not a little girl. Tell me something. Why me?” He sounds genuinely curious. I lie back on the mountain of pillows adorning my bed and listen to him.

“You’re dangerous.”

“I am,” he concedes easily, and I know I’ve made the right choice. “And that’s all the more reason for you to stay away from me.” It’s a warning. One I won’t listen to. I’ve never been good with authority. Unless it’s my father who seems to force shit on me. Shit like Hudson, who thinks he’s got a claim to me. I know the only reason he’s near me is because my father hired him to work in the senate office.

“What if I want the danger?”

“I’m no good for pretty young girls.” Once more, his warning falls on deaf ears. “Are those pretty panties wet right now?” His gruff question sends a heated tingle trickling over my skin causing goosebumps to rise everywhere.

“They are,” I tell him honestly. I may look like a sweet, innocent girl, but you should never judge a book by its cover.

“Then touch them. I want to hear you,” he orders in a husky tone. My fingers trail down between my legs. My pen and journal forgotten when I reach my pussy. The material is slowly getting wetter with each word he utters.

A moan falls from my lips unbidden, but I earn myself a husky growl in response.

“Slip them to the side. Imagine my finger stroking you. Are you shaven, Blossom?” he inquires easily.

“I’m smooth. Warm. Wet.” My words elicit more sounds from him and I’m certain it’s him jerking himself off while listening to me. “Are you . . .?”

“I’m fisting my cock. It’s hard because of you and that hot fucking body.” He grumbles once more, and I can’t stop the smile on my face.

“You’re a pervert,” I retort, but I’m sure he can hear my smile. My fingers still teasing my clit, finding myself so wet I’m sure he can hear the sounds from my ministrations.

“And that’s why you want me.” He’s right. He’s filthy and dangerous, and perhaps even a little depraved. “Did you want my cock in your cunt in that parking lot, sweet thing?” His filthy words are feral. A need we both feel overtakes us, and I whimper as his moans rumble over the line. “That’s it, come hard for your filthy fucking pervert on the phone.”

My body shudders and shakes as an orgasm rips through me. My toes curl into the sheets; my body bows off the bed as pleasure zings over my skin, rippling like a wave crashing on the shore. Trickling into nothing.

“You’re beautiful, Madison Parker,” he murmurs as I come down from a high I’ve never before experienced. I’ve been with a man before, fucked and touched myself, but nothing compares to what just happened, and he hasn’t laid a finger on me yet.

“You don’t know me,” I respond, breathless and wanton. This can’t be a one-time thing. I want this man to obliterate everything that’s hurting me. I need him to take the ache inside me away.

“And you don’t know me either,” he tells me easily, and he’s right. I don’t know him, but I want to.

“Why don’t you come and steal me away?” I question. “Tomorrow. Come see me. Give me a ride on your motorcycle,” I urge him.

“Madison.” He breathes my name in his thick accent, which doesn’t help ease the yearning for him. “You’re playing with fire.” The man has warned me off him so many times in this conversation, but I haven’t yet given up. I don’t want to.

“I like to get burned.” My words earn me another grunt. “Please, Pervert, burn me.” My plea is breathless, filled with wonder and hunger. I’m starving for it.

“Callan,” he says.

“What?”

“My name is Callan. If you call me pervert one more time, I’ll come over there right now and spank your ass red-raw, then I’ll fuck it until you’re a bloody mess on my shaft.”

I can’t stop the whimper that falls from my lips at his filthy promise. A vow to hurt me. My body responds with a tremble. My legs splay wide, and I spank my own mound so hard I cry out in the darkness.

“Do you like that, Blossom? Me making you hurt and bleed?”

“Yes.”

One word is all he needed to curse a growled Jesus Christ down the line.

“You’re a very bad girl, Madison,” he admonishes me, but there’s a tell in his tone. A feral rumble of desire I know I’ve caused. He wants me as much as I do him.

“That means you’ll have to punish me,” I say, smiling as he goes silent, and I wonder what’s running through his mind right now.

“Tomorrow, you’ll be at Seven Sins at eight, where you’ll wait for me until I arrive. I have shit to do during the day, but if you really want this, then you’ll be there. Am I understood?” he commands easily, and something tells me this man is used to getting his own way. “And wear a dress. I want those legs bare for me.”

“What makes you think I’ll even be there?”

“You will. Because you know that your prep-school boyfriend can’t make your pretty pussy wet like I can. And you’re the one who sought me out, sweetheart. Don’t forget, if you’re not at the club tomorrow night, I’ll walk away, and you’ll never see me again.” He’s adamant. I nod to no one. He can’t see me, and how I wish he could. Because he’d see how needy I really am for him.

“Till tomorrow.”

He doesn’t respond as the line dies. The ceiling dances with shadows as the moonlight shines through the windows. My face cracks into a big smile. Excitement tickles my stomach like a million butterfly wings flapping wildly.

He’s right about so many things. It’s dangerous meeting a man I don’t know, but it’s in a public place. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I head into my bathroom to get ready for bed.

I brush my teeth, taking in my flushed reflection in the mirror. The orgasm he gave me was amazing, but slowly doubt seeps into my mind. I try to shove it away as it attacks me. I can’t though, because if he sees me naked, he’ll know.

Perhaps we can do whatever he has planned without needing to get naked. He wanted me to wear a dress. He can easily lift it up without taking it off. Nodding, I decide that’s the easiest way. As the thought lingers in my mind, I realize I’ve already decided I’ll fuck him. I want to.

With that thought weighing heavily on me, I slip under the covers and close my eyes, hoping my mind will ease up and sleep will steal me.