Chapter Fourteen
Charlotte
I’d woken up this morning to an empty bed. Ryker hadn’t come home last night, and he still hadn’t texted me back at all. My stomach’s in knots, worrying about what’s going on. We’d connected yesterday, in an amazing and intimate way that shook me to my very core, but now I get the feeling that he’s pulling away and I don’t know why.
I like Ryker. A lot. I don’t know what a relationship with a biker looks like, but I like him enough to want to find out. He’s gorgeous, kind, very bossy (in an annoying, yet sexy way) and most of all, I feel comfortable and safe with him. I’ve never felt that way with anybody else before. He may be a biker, but maybe all bikers aren’t all bad.
I spend the day puttering around the house and reading one of the books I’d brought with me, but Ryker never does come home. I have to admit, that hurts. I just don’t understand what’s happening. For him to ignore me now, after everything we’d been through, makes me believe that I was just another conquest for him. Used.
At noon, I make myself a sandwich and throw some chips on the plate. Glancing outside, I see Tease sitting on the front step, in his usual spot. I make a plate for him as well, grabbing two cans of Pepsi from the fridge.
When I come out the front door, Tease turns his head to look at me. I give him a small smile and hold up the plates I hold in each hand. “Thought you might be hungry.”
He turns back around and grunts out, “Not hungry.”
I push onward. There’s no way the man’s not hungry. He’s been sitting out here for hours. The least I could do is feed him lunch. Moving forward, I tentatively settle beside him and offer him a plate.
“Well, might as well eat it so it doesn’t go to waste.” I don’t look at him, but I do an inner victory dance when he takes it from my hand.
“Thanks.” He sounds annoyed, but I don’t care. I just don’t want to be alone.
Nodding, I stay silent. Tease is a man of few words and I don’t want to piss him off – I know it wouldn’t be hard to do. Instead, I just pass him a Pepsi and bite into my sandwich.
We sit silently, side by side, eating our lunches. I don’t know what he’s thinking about, but I’m just trying to choke down my lunch and stop fretting over what’s going on with Ryker. Tease finishes before me, sitting quietly while I finish mine.
When I’m done, he hands me his plate, not saying a word. As I move to stand, Tease reaches out and gently places his hand on my arm. Shocked at the gesture, my eyes shoot to his.
He maintains eye contact when he says, “Thanks, Charlotte.”
I can’t help myself. I smile brightly at him. “You’re welcome.”
I know better than to ask Tease where Ryker is. He may not scare me so much anymore, but I know we won’t be having a conversation anytime soon. I’ve never heard the man say more than three words at a time. Leaving him to brood on the step, I go inside to do some brooding of my own.
Finally, at two o’clock, I give up waiting for Ryker and ready myself for work. I ride with Tease, who drives me right to the entrance before turning his bike around and going to sit and wait in the shade across the parking lot for me to finish my eight hour shift. I feel kind of bad that he has to just sit there, but Ryker had assured me that this was part of his job, and that he’d had worse gigs.
About an hour into my shift, I look up to see Jeremy approaching, one hand held behind his back. He smiles at me, flashing his perfect white teeth. He really is very good looking and he’s a great guy. Any woman would be lucky to have him – I just know I can’t be that woman.
“Charlotte. You’re looking lovely as usual.” He approaches the nursing desk, coming around to stand beside me.
I turn to him and smile back. Smiles haven’t been coming easily to me tonight, and I’ve really had to work at being cheerful. Ryker’s silence is making me nauseous. I just want this shift to end, so I can talk to him and see if he’s ok – if we’re ok. If he had just used me for sex, my heart would be broken. I shrug off that thought and concentrate on my friend, forcing myself to sound cheerful. “Hey Jeremy. How are you?”
“I’m great!” He pulls his hand out from behind his back, revealing a large bouquet of mixed flowers. They’re gorgeous. My stomach drops. I don’t handle these situations well. I like Jeremy, but not in the way that he likes me, and I don’t know how to let him down without hurting his feelings. “I got you these.” He grins, holding them out to me. I see a ribbon woven into the bouquet saying “Get Well”.
I relax just a little, realizing that he’d gotten these because of my “car accident”, not because he was attempting to be romantic. At least I hope that’s the case. Taking them from him, I force my most cheerful smile.
“Oh, Jer! Thank you so much! You didn’t have to do that!” I look up at him and he winks.
“I know. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you. Now …” He looks down at his watch. “I have to go see a patient. See you later, Charlotte.”
“Bye Jer,” I say to his retreating back. He throws another smile over his shoulder and then he’s gone.
The flowers are beautiful. I love fresh flowers. Every pay day, I go to the florist and get a fresh bouquet for my bedroom. I wouldn’t be doing that again until I get a new vase though. The reminder causes my smile to fall. Ryker hasn’t mentioned anything else about Krueger. I can only pray that he’s right and I have nothing else to worry about. Remembering that horrible night feels like a nightmare. It was easily the scariest moment of my life.
I finish out my shift, gathering my coat and flowers on my way out the door. Expecting to see Tease, I’m surprised to see Ryker sitting on his bike at the end of the walkway. Relief washes over me. Grinning, I walk out of the building towards him. He sits up when he sees me, reaching back to grab the helmet. He does not smile back.
“Hey,” I breathe when I approach him. He just nods, handing me the helmet. I see the moment that he notices my flowers.
His eyes shoot to mine. “Nice flowers.” His voice is so deep, causing me to shiver, realizing just how much I’ve missed hearing it.
“Yeah! Jeremy got them for me.” His jaw tightens and I see him clench his fists. I hurry on with my explanation. “Because of my “car accident”. They’re just “get well” flowers.” I force myself to continue smiling at him, hoping for even a ghost of a smile in return, but his eyes are narrowed at something across the parking lot.
Looking over to where he’s glaring, I see Jeremy walking to his car. His head is turned, watching Ryker and I. Ryker revs the motor and growls at me. “Get on.” I jump a little at his command. “Now!”
My hands shaking, I hurriedly put on my helmet and jump onto the back of his bike. He’s so angry. Grasping onto Ryker, I can feel the tension in his body. My heart drops. I know now for sure that something is very wrong, and I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I won’t be escaping this night with my heart still intact.
***
Ryker
It takes me the entire twenty minute drive home to compose myself. When I’d seen that bouquet of fucking pansy ass flowers in Charlie’s hand, I knew right away they’d come from that fucking douche, Jeremy. Then he’d fucking eyeballed me again. Fucker.
The worst part was, Charlie had looked so goddamned beautiful standing there holding a bouquet of flowers that some other man had given her. She deserves that shit – flowers. She obviously loves them. This serves as yet another reminder that I can’t be the man for her. I don’t buy flowers. Ever.
We walk into the house, and after placing her flowers in a milk pitcher she found in the kitchen, she moves towards the bedroom to get ready for bed. She hasn’t spoken to me once, and I know that she’s feeling the tension that must be rolling off me in waves. I need to talk to her now and just get this shit over and done with. Put us both out of our misery.
“Charlotte?” She stops, her back to me, shoulders tensed. Slowly she turns around, apprehension clear on her face. “We gotta talk.”
She nods, so I gesture to the couch. I sit on one end, right at the edge, elbows to my knees. She positions herself at the far end of the couch, feet up, wrapping her arms around her knees. My heart clenches when I see her in that self-protective position … because of me. I don’t look at her as I speak.
“What happened the other morning with us was a mistake.” I hear her soft gasp and have to force myself to keep going. “It was great, but it can’t happen again. I don’t have room in my life for an old lady, and you are definitely not old lady material.” Her body jerks as if I’d struck her. “You deserve a good life, with a good man, Charlie. Someone like Dr. whatever the fuck his name is.” I glance over at her again. She’s staring down at her fingernails, eyes filled with tears. She doesn’t speak. “I have a lot of shit going on in my life, and it would just complicate things to –“
“Don’t I get a say in what I deserve? What I want?” Her voice trembles with anger. I look up to see her glaring right at me. Our eyes lock. I want to grab her, crush her to me, and never let her go, but I can’t. I have to finish this shit before we get in any deeper.
“It doesn’t matter what you want.” I hold her gaze, ignoring the flinch my words caused. “We’re done. In fact, we never started. We fucked. Big deal. Like I said, it won’t happen again. You’ll stay here until Krueger is gone for sure, then you can go back to your life. Without me.”
Her body trembles. I almost take it all back. I can’t stand the thought that I’ve done this to her. Me. Tears spill over onto her cheeks, and she quickly dashes them away before taking a deep breath. “I … I just ...” She shakes her head and clenches her fists. “You know what? Fuck you, Ryker.”
She stands and walks back to the bedroom, shoulders squared and her head held high. My heart cracks. I want to chase her down and apologize – kiss away all of those tears I’d just caused. I feel like such a dick. The thought of her hating me makes me want to claw my own eyes out. I know it will get better in time, but I need to find Krueger fast so I can get her the hell out of here, and get back to living my life. A life without Charlie.
I want nothing more than to go back to the clubhouse and pound back a few thousand beers, but Tease needs a night off, and I won’t leave her here unprotected. Grabbing the throw blanket off the chair in the corner, I curl up on the couch.
I can hear her sobs coming from down the hall. Laying there, on my shitty couch, in my tiny house, I curse myself for being the one to make her cry – for not being the man she needs. I’m still laying there long after the sounds of her crying end and the sun is rising. Sleep never does come to me.